For a moment, after the door was closed and you were truly alone with Luhan, neither of you moved. The only sound was the mixing of your breaths in the small space between you as you both stood in your living room. There was so much being said in his eyes, a conflict: should he really stay here or would it better for him to go? You made the decision for him.

Erasing any space between you, your fingers wrapped themselves up in his shirt before pulling him to you. There was no hesitancy on his side once that first step was taken, wasting no time in encasing you in his arms as your lips collided. Hunger and desire was ever present, but there was something more powerful than that underneath, something more wholesome and pure. This wasn’t a lustful embrace that would result in a one night stand that you never spoke about again. Even in your slightly buzzed state of mind, things were becoming clearer. The more you touched Luhan, kissed him and held him tight, the more you were understanding what this inability to get him out of your head was. But it was supposed to be impossible.

Before the back of your mind could travel a little farther down that road, Luhan pulled away. His breathing was ragged, like he’d just ran several miles to get to you. By the glow in his eyes, you believed he’d do it without a question.

And there it was.

For a split second, going by so quickly, you might have missed it if you weren’t staring into his gaze so intensely, was the tell-tale sheen of amber.

“Maybe I should go,” he whispered, his hold on you loosening.

In defiance, you tightened your own fingers. “Don’t go.”

Luhan sighed as he wrapped his hands around your wrists, not quite able to make you let go. “If I stay, I’m not going to want to stop. And you’ve been drink-”

“I know what I’m doing.”

Deep frown lines emerged on Luhan’s face as he debated within himself. Your words were coming out clear and you weren’t swaying as you stood in front of him. Sober might not be the best word to describe you right now, but you could definitely pass a test if given one. You were aware of what choices you were making in the moment and you were making them more than willingly.

In the morning you might wake to find yourself questioning your own actions, maybe even a seed of regret would be planted, but in the here and now, you only wanted one thing: Luhan. You wanted to relish in this blissful feeling, of comfort and safety. Never in your life had you felt a peace like this; a peace that told you could hold on, that you didn’t have to be ready to fight every second of your life.

Stepping back and out of the wolf’s embrace, you slowly removed your jacket and tossed it on down on the floor right next to your feet, throwing down the gauntlet. Luhan sighed, but he didn’t move.

Fine. If he wanted to leave, he was more than welcome to head out the front door.

The feeling of rejection was squeezing at your heart, so you tore your eyes away from him and headed for your bedroom where you could collapse on your bed, alone, and maybe reevaluate your state of mind in the morning.

Just as you turned around to shut the door, a body collided with you, hands encasing your face while your lips were captured in a desperate kiss once more. With his foot, he shut the door behind him forcefully and backed you up until your legs hit the bed. Now there was truly no turning back.

**

Luhan was in deep .

He had no idea what happened last night and yet, he was the sober one. Memories of you whispering his name as you sighed into his kiss, looking at him with such openness and care, were burned into his brain. But he had no idea how it got that far.

He was only supposed to walk you home, make sure you made it safely to give himself peace of mind. Then you asked him to stay, to come inside. Luhan never imagined that you would let him kiss you, let him hold you. Barely in time was he able to pull away. At first.

You’d been drinking, he should have left. But your eyes were so clear and everything about your speech and your stance told him that you were very much aware of what you were asking for. Maybe Luhan was the truly intoxicated one. Drunk on your lips and your scent, your closeness. Reality didn’t hit him again until he woke up with the sun shining through your blinds onto his face, your pressed against his chest while his arms were keeping you trapped in his embrace.

As carefully as he could, he unwrapped himself from you and snuck into your bathroom where he could splash his face with water after pulling his jeans back on. Now was when he really started to freak out. You knew he was a wolf by now… right? God, he hoped that you didn’t think he was just some random bartender that you’d slept with.

No, Luhan shook his head vigorously. You were smarter than that. You’d seen him associate with the others plenty enough. If you were supposed to figure out who was running with the local pack in town, surely you would have found out by now.

So, what did that mean for last night?

Were you giving in to the pull? Did you know what you were to him? What did this mean going forward?

To many questions bounced around Luhan’s head, but he decided they could be answered later. Right now, he was just going to enjoy the time he was allowed with you.

Exiting the bathroom, he smiled when he saw that you were still peacefully sleeping away on your bed. Just before he could climb back in under the covers, however, something caught his eye through the slim opening of your closet door. He knew he should have ignored it. He knew that the best place for him to be was next to you, but he couldn’t stop his feet from taking him over there. Truth be told, he wasn’t that surprised at what he found.

Pictures of at least three-fourths of the pack covered a cork board that was a little smaller than Luhan’s arm span. Little sticky notes and torn pieces of maps filled in the spaces in between. Suddenly, it was like the whole world was pressing down on his shoulders. It was one thing to know that you were watching them, it was another to see the evidence right in front of him.

Tearing himself away from the board was hard, but he told himself that he would worry about it later. So far, you hadn’t hurt any of them and it didn’t look like you had any plans to do so in the near future. He still wasn’t sure what you were after, besides possibly just gathering information, and he wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to know. You were his mate and his instinct was to trust and protect you. This whole thing was just too damn complicated.

When Luhan finally lied back down beside you, he tried to push all negative thoughts away. It wasn’t easy at first, but as soon as you flipped around and pressed your face into his shoulder, he calmed down, smiling to himself. This was what it was supposed to be like. The elation, the being together, the serenity. He never wanted to leave this moment.

A small groan vibrated in your throat and your eyelids fluttered open in a way that was so cute he didn’t know it was possible to come from someone as tough as you.

“Good morning,” you greeted him with a sleepy smile.

Luhan couldn’t help himself. He swooped down and stole a soft, chaste kiss. “Good morning.”

But the smile quickly faded from your lips. You hand came up to the crook of your neck, disguised as simply rubbing the muscle under the skin, but Luhan knew what you were searching for. Thankfully, he’d had the control to hold himself back from that particular wolf ritual.

“Are you regretting it?” he couldn’t help but ask.

You shook your head. “No, but I… I need some time… if that’s okay?”

Luhan cupped your cheek, tracing the outline of your cheekbone with his thumb. “You can have all the time you need.” His inner wolf whined at that promise, but if that’s what you needed, then he’d give it to you. After pressing his lips against your forehead, he said, “I’ll give you some space and head out. You know where to find me.” You knew all too well, it seemed.

Letting you go and slipping out of bed, Luhan found his shirt and shoes, trying to not look like he wanted to run out of there as he got dressed. It was just the opposite, in fact, but if he didn’t hurry, he’d be too tempted to change his mind and beg you to let him stay. He kept his back to you to stay strong. Just as he opened the bedroom door, however-

“Luhan?”

Keeping his grip strong on the handle, he glanced over his shoulder at you. “Yeah?”

You looked so… vulnerable, sitting there on the edge of the bed, wrapped up in your sheets and biting your bottom lip. The cold exterior you’d put up whenever he was around was no longer present and it made his heart swell in chest.

“Thank you,” was all you said. Giving you a small, but warm smile, he nodded and then left the apartment.

Outside, the sun was shining high in the sky. It was much later in the morning than he’d thought. Crap.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he knew he should answer it, even though he wanted a few more minutes of just him and his thoughts.

“Hello?”

“What the hell, Luhan!” Kris’ growl came through the speaker.

Luhan cringed back, knowing he was definitely in for it if Kris was the one yelling at him. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m fine. Really.”

“You didn’t come home last night and you didn’t check in!” came Junmyeon’s voice next. Great. He was on speaker. “Your car was still at the bar. Do you realize how worried we’ve been!”

“I’m sorry,” Luhan sighed. “I was exhausted after my shift and thought I shouldn’t be driving. I stayed the night at Don’s.” He’d have to remember to get ahold of he coworker to cover for him. Just in case. “I’m on my way back now.” He couldn’t say “home” anymore. Because he wouldn’t be completely home without you.

Kris sighed. “Okay. Next time, just shoot us a text or something. Okay?”

“Yeah, I will.”

Hanging up, Luhan started walking towards the bar to pick up his car. Lying to his alphas had gotten to be a little too easy for his liking. Just when he thought things were getting somewhere, complications just snapped right back into place.

**

As soon as you heard your front door shut, you crumpled the sheet in front of you and shoved your face into the cloth to quiet the screech you had been holding in. Straightening back up, you took a deep breath and released it slowly. You were seriously about to offer him breakfast. Breakfast. Like this was a normal thing.

You waited for the freak out to come on. You waited to start breaking down, wondering where your loyalty had gone, but it never came. Each time you almost got there, Luhan’s face appeared in your mind, bringing you back down. While the hysterics were kept on manageable levels so you didn’t make an audience-less scene, you still had a sinking feeling in your stomach. Consequences of your choices were starting to rear their ugly heads.

This was the ultimate treason against your family. You felt like you were being torn in two, but you were doing a good job of holding it in. Maybe the reality that it had actually happened hadn’t quite sunk in yet. Maybe you were still too much on that dream-like high to really evaluate the thin tightrope you were currently wobbling on.

The deep vroom of your cell phone went off from the pocket of your jeans that were still sprawled out on the floor. Confused, you slumped down to the floor and crawled until you could reach the phone. Shining bright on the screen, the caller ID said it was the same number your father had called you on when you first arrived here.

“Hello?”

“(y/n)….”

Oh, no. Panic started, making your heart pump faster and your breath becoming shallow. That tone your father was using… you knew it wasn’t good.

“Yeah?” That was the only dumb response your frazzled brain could come up with.

“You’ve been getting help from Carter?”

. Of course he found out. Rubbing your eyes with your thumb and forefinger, you replied, “Yeah. I needed some advice on hacking a keypad. I can’t get to the book. It’s locked up in a museum.”

“But the wolves have access to it?” he asked cryptically.

You swallowed before answering, “From what I’ve observed, yes.”

“Do you still have the vial?”

Squeezing your eyes shut, you sighed, “I do.”

“Use it,” he demanded. “They might remove the book to get the cure.”

“Dad-”

“That’s an order, (y/n)a. Use the vial. Get the book and get back here. You have one week to report back to me or else I’m sending Johnny to join you.”

No. No. You couldn’t allow that to happen. “Yes, sir.”

“Good. Contact me when it’s done.”

The line went quiet. Looking at the screen, you saw that your father had hung up.

No longer were you keeping the storm at bay, no longer were you just wondering how you were going to deal with last night’s events. Now you were teetering on that tightrope, being pulled from side to side and barely able to keep your feet under you.

You had a much more devastating decision to make: follow orders and greatly injure one of the wolves or defy them and risk sick, sadistic Johnny coming into town.You knew Johnny would just start taking the pack out one by one, not caring about the book at all. For the first time in years, you pulled your knees to your chest and buried your face in the nook, crying at what you were going to have to give up: your family or Luhan.