Though the car ride had been quiet and tension-filled, as soon as you were back inside the house, Jongdae started yelling.

“What the hell do you think you were doing?!”

You flinched, unable to meet his eye.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, frozen in your spot. Your apology did nothing.

“The second you saw her, you should’ve have ran right back inside to me!” he shouted, fists balled up at his sides. “We have told you time and time again how dangerous Eun Na is! She tried to kill you, (y/n)! You can’t let her get close like that again!”

Your voice was starting to regain its strength but it still was nowhere near Jongdae’s. “I got scared so I froze. I couldn’t think straight.”

It was partially the truth. You certainly weren’t able to think anything that was remotely coherent back in that alley, but it wasn’t only the fear that paralyzed you.

The yelling had drawn a crowd. Slowly, the boys who were home snuck into the living room behind Jongdae. Looks of concern and confusion decorated their faces, but no one was brave enough to step into an argument between a wolf and his mate. Junmyeon was back at the university teaching a class or else he would have come to your rescue.

“And what deal was she talking about?” Jongdae demanded.

Your head snapped up. You didn’t want to tell him. Now that you were able to think it through, you weren’t even sure if it was possible. But telling Jongdae didn’t seem like a wise choice at the moment. What if he wanted it too? What if he wanted to know if it was possible to break the bond? That just might kill you.

“It- it doesn’t matter. It was nothing.”

“It doesn’t matter?” he yelled, his face turning red. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration and there was a vein visible on his neck. “Are you serious, (y/n)? What the hell!”

Unable to take any more, you shoved passed him, tears starting to form in your eyes. “Just leave me alone!”

No one stopped you as you ran up the stairs. Your room was now a safe haven you desperately needed. A bit dramatic like a Disney protagonist, you threw yourself onto your bed and cried into your pillow, hugging it close to your chest, the only source of comfort in this damn house.

You didn’t believe for a second that any of the boys would ever deliberately hurt you. But you couldn’t help but dwell over Eun Na’s offer. You couldn’t trust her, not for anything, but there were other witches in the world, right? Maybe you could find someone else, in a different city that had no connections here and maybe they could severe the mate bond for you. Living like this was becoming nearly impossible. You felt like you were being ripped in two and you just wanted it to stop.

About an hour later, when your eyes were dry but red, your stomach reminded you that you were hungry. As sneakily as you could, you made your way down to the kitchen, running into no other inhabitant. Opening the refrigerator door, you bit back a yell. Your food was gone, sticky note ignored. As if this day couldn’t get any worse. You wanted to cry again. Over food. You were losing your mind.

You started digging around the drawers trying to find something to munch on, not wanting to create a mess you would have to clean up later. 

In the bottom drawer were two containers stacked on top of each other. A note on the top was from Kyungsoo. It stated this food was for you and that Chanyeol had eaten your other leftovers. A smile crept up. You could always count on Kyungsoo.

Warming up the food in the microwave, you got out a plate and silverware. The house was quiet beyond the hum of the microwave and you appreciated the space you were given. When the food was hot once again, you sat down at the counter, eating slowly.

Finished, you took the plates over to the sink. A window perched above the faucet gave a beautiful view of the side of the house. The sun was going down and clouds were rolling in, dark and heavy, creating a shadow over the fields. The news app on your phone had said something about storms when you checked it this morning, but you thought that wasn’t supposed to happen for a few more hours.

Absentmindedly rinsing off the plate, you stared out into the field. A white four-door pulled up on the grass. You opened your mouth to call for one of the boys, but it was pointless. Ming jumped out of the driver’s side as Yixing ran up to greet her. While in front of others they were a bit more reserved, at the moment they looked like they didn’t have a care in the world.

Ming jumped up in Yixing’s arms, her legs wrapping around his torso as he kissed her full on the lips. It was an intimate moment and you knew that you should look away, but you couldn’t. Because what you were witnessing was exactly what you wanted. Their need and desperation for each other was evident even though it’d only been a day or so since Ming had been over. It was how mates were supposed to be.

“(y/n)?”

Water splashed as you jumped in surprise. Junmyeon was standing next to you although you hadn’t heard anyone else even enter the kitchen.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

You nodded, not entirely trusting your voice.

He frowned. “Jongdae told me about the incident at the shop. He also mentioned something about a deal?” He crossed his arms, going full professor mode on you. “(y/n), what did Eun Na tell you?”

You took several deep breaths before you could answer. You feared his reaction. Although Junmyeon had never once raised his voice to you, this might be the first. This felt like a taboo topic.

Instead of answering his question directly, you took a different approach, asking, “Is it really possible to take away the mate connection?”

Junmyeon straightened, taken back by your sudden question.

“I’ve heard of one incident where the mate wanted out. It was an extreme situation and the only time I’ve ever heard of it being done. It broke me just hearing about it. Why-” He blinked, making the connection. His eyes widen. “(y/n), you can’t be serious. You don’t want that. The separation, it’s more painful than anything you’ve ever felt before. After it’s done, you will feel an emptiness that can never be filled, walking around like something is missing for the rest of your life. You can’t even considered that as an option.”

“You don’t understand,” you replied softly, keeping your eyes down on the sink. “Everyone keeps saying to give him time, but it’s been over a month since I came here. He’s known for even longer. If he couldn’t make his mind up by now then obviously he doesn’t want this either. I think it’s best if we go our separate ways.” You looked up at your professor, feeling a lump grow in your throat. “I’ll transfer to another college in another part of the country so no one will ever have to see me again. I can’t keep living like this.”

Your voice caught on the last word as a single tear fell down your cheek. Junmyeon reached out to wipe it away. As soon as his finger met your cheek, a roar ripped through the air. Jongdae stomped towards the two of you and shoved his alpha’s hand away.

“I asked you to stop touching her,” he growled. Then he turned to you, his voice still as hostile. “Why are you crying?”

You broke. Like a flash of lightning, you switched from feeling sorry for yourself to pure rage for the man in front of you.

“You!” you screamed. “You are the reason I’m crying! You can’t have it both ways, Jongdae! You can’t say you don’t want me and that you’re only protecting me because some stupid witch coven wants to kill me and then be jealous and possessive every time one of your brothers comes near me or says something to me!”

Your outburst made the wolf take a step back. His mouth hung open in shock. You, however, kept going.

“I can’t keep my own thoughts straight when you’re being nice to me one second and then acting like I’m some sort of parasite the next! I can’t take this anymore! I just want to be able to let go of you! I hate being in love with you when you can’t stand to look in my direction! When you won’t ever love me back!”

Jongdae’s eyes widened at your confession. You hadn’t meant to tell him. You had meant to go to your grave with that secret, never wanting him to know exactly how you felt. How you couldn’t stop yourself from feeling. Because you did. You did love him, as much as you hated yourself for it.

No one was able to say a word. Horrified at what you had done, you took off, running out the back door and straight for the woods. You didn’t have an actual location in mind, just “away”. Away from Jongdae, away from the scene you had caused, and away from the world for a while.

Neither of the wolves came after you. Someone – perhaps Ming or Yixing – was calling after you, but you ignored them. Once you were deep within the trees, you slowed down into a walk. Your feet kept going, not caring where you were headed. The run had drained you and now you just felt exhausted, making it difficult to concentrate on much of anything. That was good. That was what you needed. You continued walking, glancing at the trees and fallen leaves that littered the mossy floor. You’d never been in a forest like this before. It was peaceful. Definitely what you needed. 

A rumble shook the ground and you looked up. The clouds had completely covered up the sky, blocking out a majority of the light from the forest floor, only a blanket of dark gray visible above you between the trees.

As much as you didn’t want to, you had to head back. In your haste, you had forgotten about the oncoming rain. Even though you loved that type of weather, you preferred to be near shelter when it came. You turned around, worried about what waited for you at the house but not really having any other choice.

Like a horror movie, a twig snapped somewhere behind you. Then you remembered how the wolves had smelled the witches in the woods on their runs at times. Not to mention what other wild animals called this place their home.

“.”

You ran. Your energy levels were spent, but you pushed yourself as far as you could. Looking back behind you to see if anything was following you, your foot caught on a root sticking up above ground and hidden by dead leaves. The sudden obstacle knocked you off your feet and you failed at regaining your balance. A deep trench lied a foot away. The momentum of the fall sent you rolling down the hill, a scream escaping your lips as you failed to bring yourself to a stop. Before you reached the bottom, your head hit a boulder, taking your consciousness with it.

**

“You should be going after her,” Junmyeon said once again.

“Stop it,” Jongdae snapped. His temper was one more comment away from exploding.

As soon as you had fled out of the kitchen, he’d collapsed back onto the ground, unable to believe what he’d just heard.  Even after the way he’d treated you, you still fell in love with him. And he couldn’t even express how he felt as well. This whole situation was messed up. He was messed up. He didn’t deserve you and he had finally succeeded in driving you away. But now all he wanted was you.

His wolf whined, begging to run after you, but he knew you ran because you needed space. He was the last person you wanted to see right now, so he fought against the wolf, like he’d been fighting over the last several months.

Yixing and Ming rushed into the kitchen.

“Why did (y/n) run into the woods?” Ming asked worriedly.

Junmyeon glanced down at Jongdae.

Yixing frowned, shoulders slumping from the repeating incident. “Did you guys fight again?”

“It’s complicated,” Jongdae mumbled.

“You need to un-complicate it,” Junmyeon ordered. “She was asking me about severing the mate bond just to get away from all this.”

Jongdae jumped up to his feet, grabbing his alpha by the arms. “What?!”

That was too much. Too far. He’d heard the story of the mates who’d severed their bond. It wasn’t worth living after that.

Junmyeon gave him a look of disbelief. “Did you not realize that while you were taking your sweet time trying to become okay with being mated, she was suffering? Having to see the others be so happy with their mates and not be able to experience the same thing? You forget that while our side of the bond is instinctual that develops into feelings, theirs is pure emotion.”

Jongdae shook his head, releasing Junmyeon. He couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been. How selfish he’d been. “I didn’t-”

Your scream pierced through the air, stopping him mid-sentence.

“(y/n)!” Without hesitation, Jongdae ran out of the house towards the woods. He didn’t wait to see if the others were following him, phasing into his wolf form midstride. He caught your scent instantly, following it at full speed until he came to the deep trench.

There you were laying in the pile of rotting leaves and broken sticks that had collected at the bottom. It was raining now, drenching your clothes. He jumped down to where you were, scared of how hurt you might be. Sniffing your hair, he caught the blood from the wound on your forehead, but you didn’t seem to be hurt anywhere else.

You groaned, your eyes flickering open. “Jongdae?”

He barked in response, laying down next you and motioning with his head for you to climb on his back. You nodded, understanding. It took all the strength you had to get to your knees. Jongdae nudged you with his snout, helping in any way he could to get you on his back. Once you were straddling him, too weak to even sit up straight, he stood back up on his paws. After a few steps, you slid off his back, unable to even keep a grip on his fur.

For a moment Jongdae considered phasing back to his human form, but he was too emotional, seeing you like this, to concentrate and you were so innocent, he didn’t want you to fully wake up to being cared by a man. He sent a howl into the air, signaling to the others where he was and that he needed help. Curling up next you to keep you warm and blocking out the rain, he waited for the others to arrive.

Junmyeon appeared at the top of the trench, still human. Yixing and Chanyeol were with him but as wolves, sniffing the ground and assessing the situation. Careful with his steps, Junmyeon came down the steep hill. He had a change of clothes in his hand. Once down there, he held the jeans out to Jongdae. Understanding, Jongdae calmed himself down enough to change back into a human and slide the jeans on.

“I think she fell and hit her head,” Jongdae guessed as he picked you up.

You groaned, clinging to him and pressing your face into his bare chest.

Junmyeon nodded. “Yixing’ll check her out once we get back.”

With you safe in his arms, Jongdae felt more relaxed as he ran back to the house. After an examination, he was relieved to find out that you only had the one minor abrasion. Declared fine, Jongdae took you up to his room and lied you down on the bed, refusing to move from your side. Once you were awake, the two of you would have a lot to talk about.