A/N: Hello, this has been sitting on my drafts for too long. This is about Chaewon's backstory and ofc, it ends with 2kim fluff fluff. A friend whom we'd hide with the name 'Ginny48' has told me it's sad, but makes the story more meaningful. (Ofc, I'd post it after receiving such a compliment. lol)  This wasn't included on the one-shot that has been posted, because I didn't want to take the focus off 2kim's relationship.

Gimlet bish: This ain't about you, Chaewon-

Spoiler alert: Minor Character Death. If uncomfortable, please do skip this chapter. I hope y'all enjoy this!

Write it on the clouds, so it won’t disappear.

A small girl – not older than ten, with a complexion as white as the thin blanket of snow covering the playground – sits atop the monkey bars kids love to play at. Her cheeks dusted with pink, the coldness sipping through her body, yet she chooses to ignore and seems to be rather enjoying it. Her voice loud and clear, filled with eagerness; an innocent child thrilled over sharing a story she has read from a children’s book one of her new friends lent her, begins narrating a tale. “Long ago in a faaaar away kingdom, lives a magical fox, a strong tiger and a kind cloud. Chaewonnie, do you know what’s a Fox Rain?”

Her audience comes in the form of another little girl – two years younger than her and way shorter – grasping on her thick padded jacket, shivers upon the cool breeze of winter briefly passing through the atmosphere. Sitting on the swing set several feet away, her head tilted upwards, staring at her older sister atop the monkey bars, cold and worried that the girl might fall. “Huh? Raining foxes? Dahyun-unnie, we should head back. Mom would scold you again.”

“Eh, this wouldn’t take long. Just a few minutes?” Dahyun whines, a small pout surfacing, her younger sister finds it funny and lets the older girl continue with whatever she’s saying. That’s how it has always been; despite being two years younger, Chaewon is usually the one who yields with her sister’s antics. She’s pretty sure their mom would scold them again – especially Dahyun – but she thinks it wouldn’t be that bad, since her sister seems to be having fun and it would be a lie to say that Chaewon isn’t curious about what happens next in the story as well.

“Alright, unnie. Just promise you’d keep it short!” The eight-year-old huffs, offering a compromise; in which Dahyun immediately beams at, quickly nodding and carries on with her story.

“The tiger is strong, so the magical fox fell in love with the tiger.” Dahyun continues, Chaewon stands up from the swing and approaches her sister, clearly intrigued and invested with the story, making sure she would not let any details slip off her ears. Her older sister smiles at that, being playful as she has always been, she skips all the necessary details and fast-forwards to the conclusion; thus, abruptly ending the story. She goes down from her seat, raises her arms, as if she has just narrated the most incredible tale of all time and cheerfully says, “They got married on a sunny day, then lived happily ever after! The end, yayyy!”

Chaewon being Chaewon – way too accustomed with her older sister’s pranks, squints her eyes and exclaims, “Unnie, that’s not fair! Where’s the Fox Rain? What about the kind cloud?”

“Oh, the kind cloud likes the magical fox too, but it’s just an extra. It attends the wedding day then cries? So, it’s a ‘Fox Rain’ when it’s sunny, but then starts raining. The cloud was maybe sad?” Dahyun just shrugs, Chaewon simply nods, accepting her older sister’s explanation; both of them being too young to grasp the entirety of the magical tale. The underlying deeper meaning remains untouched, an unfamiliar side the little girls wouldn’t even bother exploring until the next few years to come – when they have grown taller, older and hopefully wiser.

“I don’t like winter, too cold! But I like the rain!” Despite what she just said about disliking the cold weather, Dahyun takes off her scarf and wraps it around her younger sister’s neck. Chaewon looking soft and tiny as the scarf covers half of her face, Dahyun gives a hearty laugh and teasingly pinches her younger sister’s cheeks.

“I hate the rain, it makes me look messy.” With a frown, Chaewon complains, making her older sister laugh again, the familiar loud one she has always been known for. Being the playful kid she is, Dahyun ruffles her sister’s hair, purposely messing it to annoy her. “You look just as bad now!”

The older girl sticks out her tongue, then ran away. Chaos ensues, their bickering turns into an impromptu snowball fight which has eventually made them stay far longer than they’ve originally intended – the siblings hurriedly head home, not wanting to get scolded by their mom for staying out too long especially under such a cold weather.

Chaewon hates the rain, the child barely cares about the story her older sister just said. Just like any kid, perhaps she would forget about it in the next few days.

Growing up, Kim Dahyun and Kim Chaewon has always been compared to each other; because apparently, that’s what happens when siblings are barely two years apart. Everyone has something to say, every stage of their lives being nitpicked – their list of achievements analyzed in comparison to the other sibling. (Or, in Dahyun’s case, lack thereof.) Even their parents who undoubtedly love them both, unknowingly treat them differently at times. 

The usual family set-up shown on various dramas and movies depicts a younger sibling living behind the older one’s shadow, struggling to catch up with their accomplishments; having the need to prove that they are just as good, and other stereotypes similar to that.  For the Kims, it’s the complete opposite.

Mayhaps, ‘opposite’ wouldn’t be the proper term for it, that word could be considered as an overstatement. Saying that they are ‘complete opposites’ might sound like there’s an on-going feud or rivalry between, which is definitely not the case – way too far from reality.

Even as a kid, Chaewon has always been leaning more towards the matured side, their mom unintentionally favoring the younger girl over her older sister because of this particular trait of hers. Over the years, everyone has ended up treating Dahyun as the inferior and less capable daughter of the Kims, quite odd but seems pleasant and bright at all times. People would frequently say they don’t really seem to be blood-related; human’s inherent nosy nature, oftenly not knowing where to draw the line.

Truth be told, it gets a bit overwhelming at times, but despite everything, the siblings always had a tight bond – not minding the unsolicited opinions of irrelevant outsiders who couldn’t keep their mouths shut.

Dahyun has always loved the rain, always repeating the same tale about the Fox Rain – Chaewon has heard it countless times and has probably memorized it already, but listens anyway. And just like any normal kid who adores their older sister, Chaewon has grown to love the rain as well, fondly listening to her Dahyun unnie’s silly antics. (The story keeps on changing, these days Dahyun insistently claims that it’s actually an ancient legend, not just a children story nor a fairy tale.)

Also, on rainy days, her older sister would play the piano with bright songs that brighten up a seemingly dull day. With Dahyun as her sister, it’s pretty much impossible for Chaewon to hate the rain – or, hate anything the older girl loves. She looks up to her sister, finds her inspiring and appreciates all her other talents which remained unnoticed because of people’s preconceived notion – being ‘that’ weird cheerful girl as her only defining trait.

Dahyun has always loved playing the piano – the only thing that could make the oh-so-hyper girl mellow down, looking so peaceful and serene, creating beautiful melodies with every press of the keys. She greatly excels on music, being exceptionally good to the point she would sometimes joke that it’s probably the world’s way of maintaining equilibrium. She may not be that smart, but she’s way more than anything people ought her to be.

Dahyun has always been good at talking to people, she knows what to say, comforting people being another example of her numerous flairs which Chaewon wishes everyone would acknowledge.  

When life becomes too stressful for Chaewon, academic-related stuffs and other little things piling up, almost driving her insane – just wanting to scream and forget everything. The expectations weighing her down, having to keep up with everything and everyone; so afraid of letting anyone down, she starts to lose her sense of self. Dahyun tells her to go closer and whispers, “Pst, let’s go. There’s a place I go to when I’m sad.”

Dahyun brings her to the rooftop of their apartment complex, or as the older girl would like to call it – the Eagle’s Fortress – a name too fancy for what it actually is. Chaewon wonders how the older girl got ahold of the key, for as far as she knows, the rooftop is definitely off-limits. Safety protocols and such, but she knows her sister was never big on following rules; nonetheless, Chaewon is sure they would get in so much trouble for this.

“Where did you even get the key?” Chaewon explores the empty rooftop, wonders what’s so special about it, for all she sees is a poorly lit deck, not even a chair or anywhere decent to sit on.

“Me and Guard-nim are drinking buddies.” Dahyun monotonously states as if it’s the most obvious conclusion, Chaewon repeatedly blinks, having to ask herself again if she has heard her sister correctly. An impending headache brewing, she closes her eyes for a second, trying to calm herself.

‘No, Kim Chaewon, you gotta be patient. You can do this.’

“YOU’RE EIGHTEEN, YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DRINKING???” Chaewon scolds her older sister, Dahyun cracks up, finding the situation hilarious. She’s supposed to be comforting her younger sister, but the said girl is here, bearing an incredulous expression, looking like she’s about to smack her crazy sister – and maybe Dahyun deserves it.

“Just Cola-drinking-buddies! Will you please chill out?” Dahyun ruffles Chaewon’s hair, like she always did when they were younger. She notices that her younger sister has grown a lot taller over the years. Maybe not that tall, but at least five to six centimeters taller than her.

Chaewon has turned into a fine young woman, she’s no longer the kid who follows her older sister around, and Dahyun feels so proud of her. Dahyun is two years older than her, but she knows how much of a handful she has been for the younger girl. She’s pretty much Chaewon’s high maintenance older sister, but on times like this when Chaewon feels down, is when Dahyun’s role as the older one becomes notable.

“Chill out, really.” Dahyun heaves herself up over the ledge, making Chaewon gasp, once again worrying for her sister’s safety. (And reasonably so, after all they are on the rooftop of a nineteen-storey building.) Chaewon doesn’t seem amused, Dahyun climbs down the ledge, not wanting to piss her sister off any further. She settles with sitting on the floor, right beside the ledge and gestures Chaewon to do the same.

“You are extremely smart, pretty, capable and kind; but you’re so afraid of letting anyone down, you always beat yourself up for it. If you’re so keen on that, just tell me. I’ll punch you for free.” Dahyun jokes, a grin surfacing on Chaewon’s face, she sits beside her sister and takes in the view – up there in the rooftop, everything looks so small, maybe she understands it a bit now why Dahyun fondly calls it the ‘Eagle’s Fortress’.

“You’re everything I could never be, I’m just me. You know what that means, everyone does.”

“You know that’s not true!” Chaewon quickly rejects the thought, she finds it silly how Dahyun tells her to stop beating herself up, yet the older girl belittles herself just as much. Chaewon blames the freaking world they live in, where society always forces a certain façade to people, bounding them in a box of what they are ‘supposed’ to be.

“I know, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.” Dahyun chuckles, a hollow laugh echoing, her eyes resigned, as if everything feels so normal. The rain starts pouring, Dahyun stands up, a hopeful smile on her lips, her usual cheerful self is back, purposely acting as if she hasn’t just talked about the painful thoughts lurking within her; Chaewon doesn’t poke further. (And maybe she should have.) “It’s okay though, up here, everything looks tiny! I’m an eagle!”

Not minding the pouring rain, Chaewon decides to humour her unnie, “The Legend of The Fox rain doesn’t have an eagle though?”

“The strong tiger and the magical fox had a happy ending, the kind cloud deserves one too! One day, I’ll fly and meet the kind cloud! I’ll make sure it would no longer be sad!” Dahyun beams and starts walking towards the door for the rain doesn’t seem to be stopping any time soon, and she wouldn’t want them to be sick. Of course, she must also accomplish her routine of playing bright songs on the piano, so they must head back already.

As Dahyun checks again if she has locked the rooftop door properly, Chaewons asks, “If you’re an eagle, what about me though?”

“You’re a cute cheetah!”

They head back giggling and talking about random stuffs, oblivious that it would be their last conversation on that particular rooftop. The Eagle’s Fortress that they have once considered as a happy place turns into something Chaewon desperately tries to escape, the memories and guilt of being unable to do anything constantly haunt her, whispering, “You should have done something, stupid. So much for being smart.”

Just one day, things gradually began to change, and Chaewon was just a tad bit too slow to realize what’s happening. Her oh-so-energetic, playful and loud older sister just starts acting oddly quiet out of nowhere, which was just dismissed as her being ‘weird’ again. She barely leaves her room, always sleeping or doing who knows what. Chaewon tries talking to their mom about it, but the woman just laughs it off, jokingly saying that Dahyun must had finally ran out of energy after uselessly running around doing silly things for years; she’s probably just recharging and would be back to her usual self in no time.

Chaewon wants to talk to her, she really does; but didn’t.

Always thinking that there would be a next time.

Except, that next time has never come.

Chaewon remembers that day, as if it just happened yesterday; every detail seemingly inked in her mind – all too clear. If she focuses hard enough, she would still hear the soft pit-patters that woke her up on that rainy morning – ringing in her ears, pleading her to never forget. (As if that would even be possible.) She has gotten used to waking up to the familiar piano melodies her older sister would play on such days, when dark clouds would fill the sky; so, she immediately finds the silence strange.

She goes out of her bedroom, sees the pitch-black piano at the corner, her eyes roam around their living room – to her parents sitting at the sofa – her father with his head down and her mom staring at nothing, an unreadable expression on her face.

That’s when Chaewon knew, something horrible has happened.

She runs to Dahyun’s room, but doesn’t find her. With unshed tears glistening in her eyes, trying her best to stop them from falling, she asks, “Where’s unnie?”

Her mom cries, Chaewon’s body shivers upon hearing her mom’s anguished wails. Everything afterwards transpired too fast, or maybe it’s just too much to process for a sixteen-year-old kid. She’s just a naïve teenager who’s supposed to be worrying about stupid crushes or whether she’d pass her exams; but here she is, standing in the middle of the room – trying to wrap her mind around the fact that her older sister apparently sneaked out during last night’s downpour, goes to the rooftop for who knows what freaking reason, and falls down. Her sister has just passed away, and of course, she wouldn’t just go ahead and be like, “Oh, that’s sad,” then moves on with her life.

Everyone else seem to think differently though. And by ‘everyone’, she’s referring to their neighbors, schoolmates, etc. who attends the funeral – people who in Chaewon’s mind are practically ‘outsiders’ that are more interested whether the tragedy is truly an accident or another case of ‘a poor kid who’s been driven to the extremes’. Hypocrites who have the audacity to poke around possible reasons they have come up on their own, giving empty sympathy, then proceeds with their unsought insensitive comments.

‘I pity the parents for raising an ungrateful child.’

‘She was too young to know what’s right.’

‘Reckless.’

‘Why though?’

‘Is her reason enough to do such a sin?’

Chaewon doesn’t bother refuting them, goes on auto-pilot, replying as respectful as she could be. She continues being the good-mannered kid everyone expects her to be; and ‘quickly’ adapts to the situation.

In an instant, everything has changed; the home she once knew and loved becomes a suffocating place. Her mom having a hard time dealing with grief for she thinks she had been a dismissive parent, becomes overbearing – always keeping tabs on Chaewon’s life.

As for Chaewon, she’s still Chaewon. Just existing.

She finds it funny, really. Every nook and cranny of anything her eyes would laid upon, reminds Chaewon of her older sister, yet she can’t remember what were the last words they have exchanged.

What do people say again? 

Right, a ghost doesn't have to be real for it to haunt you. It just does.

Sometimes, it all becomes too much; but Chaewon didn’t despise rainy days, she loves them. Rainy days comforts her – fondly thinking that it’s her older sister’s way of saying, “I’m watching over you, Cheetah.”

So, when she sees a girl – few centimeters taller, and probably about the same age as her – frowning as she waits for the rain to stop under the canopy of the convenience store; Chaewon couldn’t help but ask the stranger, “Do you like the rain?”

“Eh, not really. It makes our hair messy.”  Chaewon giggles upon hearing that answer, she’s reminded of her eight-year-old self – bickering with a playful ten-year-old Dahyun.

“Do you know what they call it when it’s raining on a sunny day?” Chaewon asks, the corner of her lips tugging upwards, thinking back to her childhood days when life was a lot simpler. And oddly enough, this stranger who comes in a form of a pretty girl who probably hates the rain, brings her back to those happy days.

As illogical as it sounds, she feels (hopes, rather) that maybe this girl would bring something interesting in her life. Maybe shuts down her ‘auto-pilot’ mechanism, becomes someone whom she could be honest with, no more of that always having to be matured and proper. Maybe a friend? Maybe even more. Just maybe.

“Min, do you want to meet my sister?” Chaewon suddenly asks during one of their dates, making Minjoo choke on the bread she’s eating. Chaewon just laughs, takes a table napkin and gently dabs the corner of Minjoo’s lips, wiping off the crumbs.

“All these years, and I never heard about your sister????” Minjoo whines, a pout forming on her lips. Chaewon has seen this coming, she’s certain the girl would sulk for days. Okay maybe just ‘a day’, because there’s no way Minjoo could ignore her for more than six hours. (Proven and tested, she says.)

“Do you remember Cloud-ssi?” Chaewon slowly utters, careful of every word. Minjoo leans forward a bit and nods, showing an obvious interest with what the other girl would say next. Chaewon continues, “Cloud-ssi actually had a happy ending as well.” 

“Really?” Minjoo beams with so much enthusiasm, her eyes almost sparkling, still clearly invested with the previous story about Fox Rain that Chaewon has told her.

“Yeah. Cloud-ssi is doing well with a little white eagle named Kim Dahyun.” Chaewon says, her eyes staring directly at Minjoo, waiting for the other girl’s response. Minjoo being Minjoo, it has taken her some time before she understands what the older girl is implying. And when she finally does, she smiles and assures Chaewon:

“The little eagle probably had enough of your sappy self, made Cloud-ssi cry over a prank or something, so her younger sister would meet a pretty girl on a convenience store.”

Chaewon remembers. She now remembers the end of the last conversation she had shared with her older sister on the ‘Eagle’s Fortress’. It’s crazy how she has forgotten it, had it buried deep in her mind until this very moment.

As Dahyun checks again if she has locked the rooftop door properly, Chaewons asks, “If you’re an eagle, what about me though?”

“You’re a cute cheetah!”

“But there’s no cheetah in the story?” Chaewon reasons out, a puzzled look evident on her face.

“That isn’t your story. One day, you’d be having your own. There, you’d be the main character.”

Maybe this is what Chaewon’s older sister meant by that. She has found Minjoo, the other half of her story.

Maybe this is their ongoing story, A Lifetime of Certain Uncertainties, starring a little cub and a little frog. (Or fox, if Minjoo insists hard enough.)

I know one day we'll meet in the clouds
Up in the clouds

PS: Happy 2kimcord Day!