Smell of rain through the window pane
And the sight of you
Oh, you were a good dream

“In a different world, do you think we’d be together?” Minjoo wonders, as a wistful smile lingers on her lips. She has always been one to ponder about such thoughts, thinking and imagining of what could have been. Some would say it’s a bad habit, brooding over things that no one has a way of ever knowing; but at the back of her mind, Minjoo knows. She knows that this has nothing to do with that supposedly bad habit of hers, it’s just her being optimistic. Hopeful, even.

Maybe in another world out there, they are together in ways she could only dream of.

Maybe they would start being more than friends, something a little bit more special than what they already have – giving them assurance that they would be with each other every step of the way.

Maybe they would even move in together, starts adopting dogs that are as lively as their friendship throughout the years; then eventually starting their own family. Marriage sounds nice, kids too. Minjoo certainly wouldn’t mind seeing adorable little Chaewons running around the house.

Maybe they would grow old together – grey and wrinkly. Chaewon would be teasing her as usual; but this time, they would be sitting on an outdoor bench, laughing at something silly Minjoo has blurted out. In a spacious garden, basking under the warm rays of a beautiful day, clear of clouds, happily watching their grandchildren chase each other in some sort of game.

And even on their last day together, they would have no regrets – for they have lived to the fullest. All because they had taken the leap of faith, turning their already beautiful friendship to something even more beautiful.

So, here’s Minjoo; she had willingly jumped off the cliff of uncertainty, risking everything she has ever believed on for the sake of the countless maybes.

Maybe Kim Chaewon would like her too; but she knew that’s too good to be true. So, even if Chaewon doesn’t feel the same, Minjoo would be grateful to know that the other girl has at least thought of the slight chance of what they could have been.

“Would you want to know though?” Chaewon answers, her voice ringing through the silence, taking Minjoo out of her trance.

“Would you?” Minjoo hesitantly asks, not sure if she would want to hear the other girl’s response. Chaewon pauses for a moment to think, her eyes giving the window beside her a fleeting glance, as the sound of the rain fills the atmosphere – seemingly filtering all the surrounding noise, and all could Minjoo hear is the sound of her thumping heart, nervously waiting for an answer.

“No, not really.” With a gentle smile, Chaewon utters words that would immediately turn down all the what if scenarios Minjoo has delightfully indulged.

No more spacious garden and kids running around.

As both of them keep quiet, waiting for someone to break the ice – Chaewon looks as calm as she has always been, while Minjoo is lost within her inner turmoil, begging all the gods she could think of to magically send anyone or anything that could shatter the awkwardness brought upon by her ow-so-hopeful queries.

Curse those freaking maybes.

The pelting rain has started to mellow out, bringing back memories of a particular afternoon. If anyone would ask when did Minjoo start liking Chaewon more than the usual ‘friendly’ type, she wouldn’t be able to pinpoint exactly when. Instead, she would be reminded of that moment the other girl has entered her life; no warnings beforehand and certainly no foreboding of the unrequited feeling that would haunt her for years to come.
 

She has always been ahead of her. Always off to the next big thing, until she stopped running.

Another mundane Sunday afternoon for Kim Minjoo, one she would have spent peacefully sleeping or listlessly watching her favorite dramas under normal circumstances. Barely three months in, she has turned into a busy high schooler who’s always in a hurry, too worried to not have enough time to accomplish her academic responsibilities. Some might say she’s overreacting and she should chill out a bit, but Minjoo is Minjoo – always determined to do her best. Teenagers would normally be excited over the start of a new phase in their lives, but for Minjoo, gone are the days of being thrilled over the concept of a new school and a new beginning. On Sundays like this, she would be on the comfort of her own room, enjoying the free time as much as she can until she begins preparing for the start of another week spent with her books; but here she is – at the front of a convenience store, waiting for the rain to stop.

“Do you like the rain?” Unsure of what the girl standing few feet beside her said, Minjoo simply blinks in confusion. The other girl – few centimeters shorter, and probably about the same age as her – thinking that Minjoo had not heard the question, moves few steps towards her before repeating, “Do you like the rain?”

“Eh, not really. It makes our hair messy.”  The other girl giggles, noticing Minjoo’s slight frown which turns into a puzzled look, as she wonders whether she has said something funny.

“Do you know what they call it when it’s raining on a sunny day?” Minjoo takes a moment to think, but eventually shakes her head; not having any idea where the random conversation is heading.

“It’s apparently called Fox Rain.  Legend says a cloud fell in love with a fox who went off to marry a tiger on a bright day, one befitting a happy ceremony. Being unable to do anything, the cloud cries.” With her soft voice barely audible due to the rain, the stranger unfolds an ancient narrative about the phenomenon supposedly called ‘Fox Rain’.

Raising her hand to feel the droplets of rain fall on her palm, Minjoo briefly closes her eyes as she utters, “That’s a sad story. I hope Cloud-ssi is doing well somewhere.”

“I don’t think Cloud-ssi was sad though. Heck, I bet Cloud-ssi was happy.” Minjoo instantly opens her eyes and stares at the other girl, her eyes slightly squinted, as if questioning the girl’s sanity – disapproval written all over her face. The stranger chuckles, then continues, “Cloud-ssi cries because it’s happy. Very happy to witness its beloved fox get married to the good ol’ tiger.”

“How’d you know the tiger is good though? You know tigers are big and scary, they eat humans too! Who knows, maybe they eat foxes too!” Minjoo pouts, her voice a bit louder, probably the loudest she has ever been for the last couple of minutes – all because of a love triangle about a cloud, a fox and a tiger. She’s definitely getting more invested to the story more than what she has originally intended, but in her defense, ‘she’s just worried about the fox’. Okay, her friends have compared her to a fox before, but that definitely has nothing to do with this. Yeah, she definitely doesn’t feel weirdly attached or something to the fictional fox. That would be weird, so definitely NOT.

“Ya, typhoons destroy millions of homes and livelihood annually, so technically, Cloud-ssi may not be that good either.” The stranger reasons out, trying her best to be logical. (Although logic has been long thrown out of the window the moment they’ve started being serious about a topic normal people might find silly, but not that they’d care about stupid norms. Normal is overrated anyway.)


Minjoo is about to protest again, when both girls hear a phone chime. Her hands roam her pockets for a few seconds, until she remembers that she didn’t bring her phone for she has left it charging in her room. Thus, leaving the obvious conclusion that it indeed belongs to the other girl. The stranger checks her phone, and visibly flinches upon reading her notification.

“And, that’s my cue to go home. Take care on your way back, Ms. Fox. I hope you don’t run into tigers.” With a mischievous grin, the girl bids Minjoo goodbye and ran off to who knows where, blatantly ignoring the rain. By this time, it’s more accurate to rather call it a ‘drizzle’; but is perhaps still strong enough to make someone sick.

As the girl fades out of her sight, Minjoo realized that she didn’t even get the stranger’s name. With her loudest possible voice, she shouts, “Wait! What are you, a tiger or a cloud?”

“Neither! I’m a cheetah!” The stranger shouts back, cheerfully waving her hand before completely disappearing.

Almost a week has passed, Minjoo is still clueless about the stranger’s identity. Not that she’s low-key looking for the girl. Alright, maybe she has tried asking every fellow freshman she knows, believing in the very slim possibility that the girl goes to the same school as hers. Assuming the girl has ran all the way home without an umbrella, she probably lives not too far from the convenience store; hence, quite close to Minjoo’s school. Truth be told, she’s starting to think that maybe her friend Yuri is right; she must have been so tired to the point that her memory became fuzzy and hallucinated about this mysterious girl who talks about tigers and foxes. ‘Oh, she calls herself a cheetah too.’ Minjoo notes, mentally giving herself a pat for coming up with an information she deems useful in finding the girl.   

“Minjoo, maybe if you could be just a tiny bit more specific in describing your crush?” Yuri complains, calling out Minjoo on her lack of proper description. Repeating for the nth time that, ‘pretty girl with a soft voice and likes the rain’ would just not cut it. Minjoo even had the audacity to interrupt her friend’s frustrated rambling, and says, “But she likes rain! That should count, right?”

“Yeah, genius. Just how many girls do you think like the rain? Are we supposed to hand out survey forms asking if they like the rain? Maybe include a short quiz about the legend of the Fox Rain too?” Running out of patience, Yuri sarcastically suggests. She had enough of her friend’s shenanigans, they have been trying to find the girl for days.

“Do you think that would work?” Minjoo reaffirms, with a determined look, her eyes probably even sparkling a bit, completely ignoring her friend’s distinct sarcasm.

Yuri knows her friend is surely smart, but with the oh-so-dreamy vague descriptions she gives about the aforementioned stranger, Yuri isn’t that sure anymore about her friend’s level of intellect. Or, maybe that’s just how it is when people start ‘catching feelings.’

“Teenagers these days.” Yuri tiredly sighs, as if she isn’t a teenager herself. To make things worse, Minjoo seems to be faithful with her belief that she’s merely curious about the stranger.

“I know what you’re thinking, but no. I’m telling you; I barely know the girl,” Minjoo insists, too faithful for her own good – standing up for her noble belief that she’s just curious. Curiosity kills the cat, they’d say; but satisfaction brings it back. Although in this case, it’s a cheetah.

‘Please just bring back the overgrown cat already.’

“Right, you barely know her. Not even her name, yet you speak of her as if she walked out of a fairy tale or something.” Yuri shrugs, once again judging her friend’s unrealistic claims.

“I don’t speak like that. I admit she may have looked like a princess, but that’s beside the point.” Minjoo corrects her, speaking in a-matter-of-factly tone. That’s when Yuri knew her friend is beyond saving; or, in other words, it’s better to just let her be.

“Sure, Kim Minjoo. Sure.” Yuri snorts, bearing an incredulous expression. The girl is laughing way too much, almost tripping over nothing.

The rain is pouring again, as much as Minjoo hates the rain due to the fact that it messes her hair, she’s secretly thankful for it has brought her into this coffee shop near their school. Two weeks after their encounter at the front of a random convenience store under a fox rain, Minjoo finally sees the girl again – who has probably also taken refuge from the rain – sitting alone, a cold drink in hand as she silently reads a book.  This time, she swears she would at least get her name.

Today’s horoscope says she would have an excellent luck the whole day, so she prays to all the stars out there; maybe they would grace her enough confidence to approach the girl. Fortunately, the stars did grant her some courage for once; but that doesn’t mean it didn’t take her a couple of minutes to compose herself, before she has finally taken a step towards the stranger who might have been running in her mind for the last few(fifteen, to be exact) days.

“Three hundred and fifty-one seconds.” Not taking her eyes off the book, the other girl speaks before Minjoo could even greet her.

“Uhm, hello too? Remember me? Ya know, the Fox Rain?” Playing with the hem of her blouse, Minjoo timidly waits for the other girl’s response, still unable to comprehend what she meant by the number she recited out of nowhere.

“Three hundred and fifty-one seconds, Ms. Fox. It has been that long since I’ve seen you enter that door. I may or may not have been waiting for you to actually approach me.” The girl puts down her book, playfully raising her eyebrows, with a hint of smile, purposely making fun of Minjoo’s awkwardness. Of course, she remembers her; she doesn’t often run into pretty girls who fondly addresses a cloud as ‘Cloud-ssi’ – Minjoo is the first one so far. Mayhaps, both of them are hoping for this chance encounter to happen again.

Minjoo chuckles at that, nervousness slipping off her body, as a familiar warmth engulfs her. “It’s nice to see you again, Ms. Cloud-ssi. May I sit here?”

“I’m a cheetah, not a cloud. Sure, you may; but pay up first. A cup of coffee would be nice.” She closes her eyes, puts her hand on her chin, pretending to be deep in thoughts. Minjoo decides to humour her, “It would be an honor, but you already have one,” she motions to the barely touched cup of coffee on the girl’s hand. “Too much caffeine wouldn’t be good for your health,” she adds, nodding at her own words.

“You’re right. They say time is precious, pay me with time then. Fifteen minutes would suffice, thirty would be ideal.”  The not-so-unfamiliar stranger answers back, fiddles with her phone, then waves it to Minjoo – showing a timer app, with thirty minutes set on its clock.

Minjoo takes the sit across the girl and lays her palm up the table, gesturing for the other girl to hand her phone. “Gladly. I’ll even raise your rates.” Minjoo accepts the phone, setting the timer to an hour. “I demand for a change though.”

“I’ve thought it would be ‘keep the change?’ How stingy!” The girl exclaims, slightly shaking her head, a look of disapproval on her face; yet she ends up yielding to Minjoo’s demand. “Fine, what do you want?”

“Your name. I’m Kim Minjoo, you are?” Minjoo offers a handshake, in which the other girl cheerfully obliged.

“Deal. I’m Kim Chaewon.”

Minjoo triumphantly smiles, she would definitely boast to Yuri later. She has finally learned the name of the princess she has been looking for. She’s no longer ‘that-pretty-stranger’ who likes rain. Minjoo returns Chaewon’s phone, but due to unidentified reasons, the universe (she wants to blame the stars, really) seems to be mocking her again; the device slips off her hand, a clink resonating as it hits the fancy looking laminated wood floring of the café.

Luckily, the mobile phone works just fine despite the loud sound it created. Also, the mini accident has given Chaewon a valid reason to accidentally close the timer app, forgetting the time limit they have agreed upon. Accidentally, of course. Minjoo has noticed it, but not that she’s complaining. (If anyone asks though, there’s no way she’s admitting that.) Life is full of certain uncertainties, accidents do happen. Lesson for today: Beware of accidents, yes.

Each second passing by, they spend it talking about everything and nothing – may it be mind-boggling fox conspiracies or their uneventful school lives. Apparently, Chaewon indeed goes to the same institution, the school uniform she’s wearing at the very moment stands as a proof; unless she wears it for fun or as some sort of fashion statement. Chaewon does talk about foxes and tigers, but the latter statement pertaining about their uniforms would be a bit too much even for her.

It turns out, the other Kim is a year older than Minjoo, thus explaining why she couldn’t find anyone who knows her. Minjoo and Yuri have been searching for a pretty freshman girl who likes rain, when they should have been searching for a sophomore one instead. Obviously, that doesn’t make much of a difference, but for Minjoo, it does. Or, in Yuri’s words – ‘just another case of Minjoo being Minjoo: her very smart friend, but sometimes not really.’ (For example, her situation right now – Kim Chaewon being her ‘sometimes’.)

Light conversation between the two girls fills their cozy little table, comparable to the celebrated first rainfall of the year, the start of spring in a cold winter, or in their case, the end of summer – establishing a beautiful connection that would get them through different seasons.

And Minjoo with her newfound fascination for the rain.

Rainy days with Chaewon are not that bad.

She just hopes the same thing goes for the other girl, and by the looks of it, Chaewon seems to be enjoying her company as well – a soft smile gracing her lips, with occasional burst of laughter, mostly in response to Minjoo’s comical reactions.

Several hours has gone by, not minding their ‘deal’ in which Minjoo has agreed to stay for an hour. Unbeknownst to her that in the next seven years, she wouldn’t mind staying for a lifetime, if only Chaewon would allow her. Not now, not yet – too immature to handle and too young to even name the budding feelings they would soon have. Their futures remain uncertain, not having a clue of what’s about to come; for all they know at this moment is that they have found a friend within each other.

That significant period in which a person finds someone whom they could instantly connect with – as cheesy as it sounds, someone whom they feel like they have known for a very long time. It’s when they’d say hello, and in that exact second, they’d know it would be the first of countless hellos to come; wishing that the next goodbye they’d share would be a simple bid until they meet again(possibly in the next few days), not the last farewell they would ever get to say.

There’s a term for that. Soulmate? That’s meant for people who are ideally suited for each other though, (keyword: ideally) and it’s just too cliché for their liking; so, they choose to settle with the fancier, yet more precise version of it – ‘lifetime partners.’ 

The influx of people who stopped by, waiting for the rainfall to clear out, has gradually left the vicinity; making the two girls acknowledge the passing time – although it isn't that late yet, the rain has perfectly done its job, the heat fading into a comforting warmth, as a faint hint of summer breeze lingers in the air.

As they step out of the café, Chaewon holding the door for the younger girl, clears and starts, “Do you like freebies?” Minjoo does a double take, unsure of what she heard.

“I mean, remember the payment? You’ve stayed way more than an hour. You deserve a freebie! Who doesn’t like freebies, right?” Chaewon continues, mustering the remaining confidence she has been abusing for the past two and a half hours. She hands Minjoo the book she was reading earlier, and before the girl could say anything, Chaewon’s phone rings.

“That’s my cue, I gotta go. I know you’ve said you live really near here, but take care on your way back.” Chaewon waves, giving her a small smile and answers her phone as her figure slowly retreats. Minjoo remains at a standstill, shock evident on her face as she reads what was scribbled on the upper right corner of the first page of the book – Chaewon’s mobile number, neatly written with black ink. Smiling, she saves it under the name, ‘lil cub’; and sends a short message, in which she receives a reply right after arriving home.

Unknown Sender, 5:42pm: Thank you for today, lil cub. -Kim Minjoo


lil cub, 5:52pm: Idk any Kim Minjoo, Ms. Fox. Frog seems accurate too. Take your pick.

Her mom teases Minjoo for being apparently ‘too smiley’, prying if something good happened, in which she simply shrugs, “Nothing, I just found a new friend today.”

Everything remains the same for the both of them, they are still typical hardworking students who do their best to keep up with their academic-related requirements. Except, they would sometimes hang out at school, introducing each other to their own set of friends, not minding the one-year gap between them. Their friends would tease them, saying that they should just go ahead and date already. They have also started going home together, spending some time studying or talking about anything after a tiresome day. They would constantly message each other, just like any normal friends would.

The things they do are undoubtedly just ordinary stuffs friends engage in; so Minjoo couldn’t comprehend where or when exactly did she start getting confused between what’s platonic and not.

Just one day, she woke up – the line between being a friend and something more slowly deteriorating, being too blurry for Minjoo to distinguish which is which; and maybe somewhere along the line, she decides to just accept it all.

First, she finds herself unconsciously waiting for Chaewon to pass the halls. Some might say there’s nothing wrong with that, sounds like something a platonic friend would do; but the problem materializes when someone accompanies Chaewon. Especially if said someone is a guy who’s shamelessly trying her shots on the other girl first thing in the morning, as if he comes to school to chase girls, not to study.

Minjoo tries to reason out with herself, saying that she just hates students who waste their time; but after some time, she just really wants to punch the guy whose name she wouldn’t even bother to remember. Don’t get her wrong, she’s never known as a violent person; maybe that’s mainly why the situation drives her insane. As Chaewon’s best friend, Minjoo is supposed to be supportive of seemingly decent suitors; but she finds all of them annoying. She can’t even reason out that she probably just hates men, because she hates Chaewon’s female suitors just as much – maybe, even more. So much for being platonic.

Second, she unknowingly begins to notice every single thing about Chaewon. The girl would be humming random tunes or making a fool out of herself, trying to make Minjoo laugh, yet the younger girl just finds it endearing. She has always liked Chaewon’s soft voice, but she wonders when did her voice become so addictive that she wouldn’t mind listening to it all day long. (Not that she hasn’t been doing that though.) Surprisingly, Chaewon doesn’t complain and would just laugh every time Minjoo calls her at ungodly hours of the night saying, “I just want to hear your voice.”

Suddenly, Minjoo becomes highly aware of the fleeting touches; the friendly hugs giving her a feeling she can’t pinpoint, it’s not exactly an unpleasant feeling – something too warm, her cheeks turning into a deep shade of red.

Lastly, Minjoo finds Chaewon amidst a sea of people.   

People always say this overused sappy line when you fall for someone. ‘You start to look for them on crowds, and always find them first,’ they’d say. This one, Minjoo doesn’t believe that much since the older girl easily finds her too. They could be on a school festival or meeting on a populated place for their ‘friendly dates’, then she’d see Chaewon already walking towards her.

Through their years of friendship, there’s an odd thing she has always noticed though. When it’s raining, something important always happen. (Or, maybe she just thinks every moment spent with Chaewon is important.)

Chaewon has always been someone hardworking and dedicated, yet always calm and laidback. She doesn’t show much emotions, even when she graduated high school, Minjoo was the one crying her heart out – repeating over and over again that it would only take a year, and she’d enter the same university Chaewon is heading to. The older girl just ruffled her hair and gave her a ‘friendly’ kiss on the cheek.

Someone who has always reminded her to be kind to herself, someone who has always believed in her – especially on days that even Minjoo herself couldn’t. She’s the same girl who has never minded answering a call at 2am, accompanying Minjoo on the other side of the line; understanding that sometimes words aren’t enough to explain what one’s going through. Just knowing that someone cares enough to stay on the phone for more than an hour of complete silence, is more comforting than any hug or word of encouragement anyone could give.

On days where Minjoo doubts ‘things’ would ever get better, Chaewon shows up, a reassuring smile on her lips and a pint of ice cream on her hand – shutting down the negative thoughts and once again proving that life isn’t that bad. “A penny for your thoughts is overrated, negative thoughts require the presence of our beloved friend Ice cream-ssi!”

Or, when said ‘things’ become a bit too much to handle, and Minjoo begins to lose sight of who she is, Chaewon comes barging in with a question as random as the day they’ve first met, “What do you like about yourself today?”

Minjoo, always unsure of what to answer, comes up with a half-hearted response just to satisfy Chaewon, for she knows the older girl would not let her off the hook. Little things such as how she likes her hair seems nice that day, how she didn’t miss the bus that morning or, how the weather seems perfect – not a hint of rainfall any time soon.

Little things which don’t seem much at first glance, until Minjoo learns that Chaewon writes them down, memorizes them and enumerates them to her when the situation calls for it.

“I know at least twenty things you like about yourself. Don’t ever forget those, I’d remind you everyday if I have to. Always, I will.” Chaewon would say, her voice clear, devoid of any uncertainty, and her eyes filled with optimism.

So, Minjoo visibly panics when she sees the girl crying. Kim Chaewon, always calm and composed, shows up in front of Minjoo’s house, disheveled, her clothes soaked due to the heavy downpour, and her eyes red. Minjoo’s heart breaks at the thought that the girl must have been crying for hours – alone, wandering the cold streets, not knowing where to go.

Minjoo’s first instinct is to engulf the girl in a hug, paying no heed to the pouring rain. Chaewon doesn’t speak a word, buries her head on the other girl’s neck, standing still, a deafening silence dominates. Minjoo feels the cold drops of water against her skin, it drenches her hair, and ironically reminds her how she used to hate rainy days for the exact same reason. Chaewon has become a part of her life, then suddenly the rain doesn’t seem that bad anymore.

Minjoo has come to love the pleasant pit-patters and smell of rain, bringing back memories of the days wherein they’d jump on puddles of water, bickering and jokingly making bets on which one of them is more likely to catch a cold. Except, tonight’s rain appears different than any of the previous ones they had.

It comes in waves, splattering across the ground, unpaved paths awash with mud, and the sky almost pitch black – as if mirroring the girl crying on her shoulders, hands clenched, grasping Minjoo’s shirt. For the first time in years, Minjoo hated the rain again; willing to give anything just for it to stop.

‘Please, make it stop.’

Minjoo let Chaewon in – as dreamy and romantic as it sounds, talking under the heavy rain is just too much of a crazy idea, an impractical one too, she wouldn’t want the older girl to be sick. Mrs. Kim sees them, worriedly asks if they are alright, Minjoo just nods and gives her mom a tight-lipped smile. Fortunately, the woman takes it as a sign to leave them on their own, retreating to another part of the house after handing them some towels to dry themselves with and two sets of clothes the girls could change in.

She carefully wipes the trail of tears on Chaewon’s cheek, her thumb softly brushing, treating the girl as delicate as one’s treasured finest set of glassware – fragile, one you’d rather keep in the cabinet. Afraid of stupid kids who might unintentionally shatter them, because that’s just how kids are supposed to be. Except, Kim Chaewon is a human – breathing, one whom Minjoo can’t simply lock in a cage; so, she protectively embraces the tiny frame of the girl, away from all the bad things life has to offer.

“Hey, we probably both look like a mess right now. You should take a shower.” Probably too tired to even bother saying anything against it, Chaewon complies. She figures that a warm bath would probably help her clear her mind, pushing off unwanted thoughts that have been plaguing her for so long.

Upon exiting the bathroom, Chaewon sees Minjoo, wearing a new set of clothes, albeit her hair still slightly dampened, a small paper bag on hand. She invites Chaewon to take a sit, passing the paper bag, “Mom told me to give you this. Mint Choco-nim?” Minjoo jokes, handing Chaewon a spoon and a glass of water. The girl smiles at the sight of her fave ice cream flavor, mentally noting that she should also thank Mrs. Kim later.

Everyone acknowledges Kim Chaewon as the confident and strong-willed persona she has established, but behind all of these, she’s just another normal human being. Life being cruel at times, just like how it is to everyone – may it be by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once. The latter resonating more with Chaewon, putting her into a situation where words could only do as much, giving birth to a flawed mentality that some stories are better left untold; circumstances do not magically change for the better just because they’ve been shared. Although it isn’t entirely wrong, it’s a must to know that sharing your burdens to others as you also take some of theirs is okay.

Talking could only do much, but sometimes it’s what rescues people from the monsters they have unknowingly conjured.

For Chaewon, those nights do come. Alone, at the corner of her dark room, shriveled and trying her best to hold it in. She finds it pathetic, but that’s just how it is.

And sometimes, it is insufferable – a poison that spreads all throughout the body until it eliminates the remaining spark, triumphantly pushing people off the cliff. Falling.

As she continues to spiral down the nasty pit, everything becomes too much. Thus, the endless wandering begins.

Life could be tricky at times though; it has its own way of crafting a special reason that could single-handedly defeat the legion of mishaps, pulling a person back when they’ve thought it’s already the end of the line.

Chaewon knows this too well, for her reason comes in the form of Kim Minjoo – the sweetest girl she has ever met, eyes always full of love and affection, an unspoken love song ringing in her ears, whispering, ‘things will work out.’

“Min, thank you. Really.” Chaewon pipes up, sincerity written all over her face.

“Eh, what for?” Minjoo exclaims, as if the older girl has just spouted something ridiculous, for as far as she could remember, all she ever did was dashing to the nearest convenience store and buying that ‘toothpaste-tasting-ice-cream’; because she doesn’t know how to comfort people, and ice cream works for her – so, she hopes it would be as effective for the other girl. (Of course, it wasn’t from her mom; the woman adores Chaewon, but she doesn’t even know what Mint Choco is – usual old people sticking to the classic flavors.)

“Minjoo, thank you for making everything bearable.”

“No, not really.” With a gentle smile, Chaewon utters words that would immediately turn down all the what if scenarios Minjoo has delightfully indulged.

I was scared to lose you then
But secrets turn into regrets
Buried feelings grow
Oh, you were a good dream

For Minjoo, Chaewon’s existence has always been comparable to a dream, feeling distant and impossible – too good to be true. ‘Good things don’t last’, they’d say. Truth be told, Minjoo has never seen her as a good thing, for she has always been the best thing to ever happen to her.

On a rainy day, she entered Minjoo’s life; creating a ripple on her monotonous life. Suddenly, colors burst out, embellishing every object around her – leaves turn greener, stars shine brighter, even boring white clouds appear softer than ever, reminding Minjoo of the soft girl (little cub, rather) she has grown fondly of.

Each day, her feelings grow deeper, begging to be set free. For years she had been scared of entertaining them, afraid to lose the girl. Kim Chaewon is ephemeral – always in danger of speedy disappearance.

She has always been ahead of her. Always off to the next big thing, until she stopped running.

Even on the day they first met, Chaewon left just as instantaneous as her arrival, running off to who knows where. Over the years, Chaewon’s retreating figure has been deeply etched into Minjoo’s mind. She had secretly harbored unrequited feelings for the girl, buried them deep in her heart, due to the fear of losing her; but today, it’s different – a new fear sipping into her body.

She had seen Chaewon walk away from her far too many times, she doesn’t think she would bear to see it one more time. As whack as it sounds, nothing scares her more than the sight of Chaewon’s back. Thus, she takes it upon herself to be the first one to leave.

Minjoo turns her back, but before she could even take a step, a familiar hand grabs hers, halting her tracks.

“Do you know why Cloud-ssi cries out tears of joy?” Chaewon starts, Minjoo not having enough courage to face the other girl again, just listens and waits for Chaewon to continue.

“Because Cloud-ssi wasn’t able to be as brave as Tiger-nim, so despite being heartbroken, it’s relieved that her beloved Fox married someone way better than a coward cloud. Loving means wanting the best for the person you cherish.” Chaewon’s voice bears a distinct melancholic tone, Minjoo doesn’t know where’s this conversation heading, but she’s aware it’s heading south – an unknown territory where heartbreak awaits her.

“Should I be like Cloud-ssi and just be happy for you then?” Minjoo blurts out, which she instantly regrets for she doesn’t really want to hear the other girl’s response. She thinks she had enough heartache for today.

Chaewon cracks up at that though, making Minjoo face her, curious to know what has suddenly made the other girl laugh. “Since when did you become a cloud though?”

“Minjoo, I love you. I don’t want to know if we’d be together on another lifetime, because I’ll make sure we’d be on this one.” She fondly pats Minjoo, the corners of unconsciously turning upward.

“But what about Cloud-ssi?” Minjoo pipes up, her eyes frozen wide open, her brain buffering, trying to process what Chaewon has said. She has clearly heard the other girl’s confession, but she thinks it could have just been her mind playing tricks on her.

“Don’t get me wrong when I say loving means wanting the best for the person you cherish. I’m not Cloud-ssi, I’ve told you I’m a cheetah. It might have taken us years to get here due to countless uncertainties, but I’m certain that I want to be the best for you.” Chaewon takes her hand and connects their forehead, their face growing closer each passing second; the familiar warmth evident between them.

“Chaewon, I lov-” The older girl cuts Minjoo off with a kiss, the younger caught off-guarded and feeling too fuzzy, yet kisses her back with an equal fervor – it was brief and sweet, then ends with both of them laughing, teasing the other for blushing as if both of them aren’t just as red.

“I love you.” Minjoo finishes and gives Chaewon a quick peck, making the older girl uncharacteristically shy, which she quickly hides by doing what she’s best at – teasing Minjoo.

“For the record, you’re not a fox either. You’re a frog. We’ve kissed, shouldn’t you turn into a princess now? I see no difference.” Chaewon taunts her, a hint of mischief, widely grinning.

“You’re not a cheetah either, you’re just a lil cub.” Minjoo answers back.

A sunshower is an interesting phenomenon, most people call it fox rain, its cause attributed to varying factors and ancient legends – may it be purely based on Science or loosely based on Cloud-ssi, Ms. Fox and Tiger-nim’s interesting love triangle.

Sometimes, accompanying winds associated with a rain storm accidentally blows airborne raindrops into an area with no cloud; thus, a sunshower happens.

For Minjoo, an accidental meeting brought upon by the rain and her random cravings for ice cream, driving her into the nearest convenience store where she finds Chaewon, who happens to accidentally forget bringing an umbrella with her.

Or, when a single rain shower cloud passes overhead, and Mr. Sun keeps the sunlight from being obstructed by overhead clouds.

For Chaewon, encountering a single being who dashed right through the negative thoughts clouding her mind – keeping her afloat, miles away from the things she desperately wanted to escape. 

And somewhere along the way, made her realize that there was never a need to escape; just a need for a companion who would join her trip in the long road known as life.

Accidents do happen all the time – most are bad, some not that much, and rarely, a miraculous accident could bring a potential lifetime partner. Just potential, because there are tons of uncertainties behind the concepts of destiny, luck, fate or whatever one would like to call it.

At the end of the day, it would still depend on the choices people would make. For Kim Minjoo and Kim Chaewon, they have chosen to spend a lifetime of certain uncertainties together.

“Lifetime partners for real then?” Minjoo asks Chaewon, forgetting all the what ifs she used to think of, for she no longer needs them. No more imaginations, and more of taking actions to turn them into realities.

“Partners across different lifetimes, even. Gladly.”

-fin.