My heart is too late

Like this again, too late

Hyukjae wonders when did all of this even begins. As he sits alone in the darkness of his small room. Away from the light. Away from the noises he sometimes despites the most. Especially at time like this.

The song is playing on loop. Non-stop since one hour ago. After he notices today is that day. The day he used to cherish. Because it gave him a chance to talk to him. He smiles, because sometimes it amazes him how things have changed. If someone tell his 12 years old that this would happen to him one day, he is so sure that his younger self would laugh. Because it ridiculous. It really is.

But it also makes him wonders, if his younger self knew this would happen to him one day, would he takes another road? What his younger self would do, he wonders. Because at this point, he doesn’t even know if he actually took the right road.

This place where you stood and waited for me

How much more did we go awry?

It’s an established fact that he was one of the delinquent and rebellious kids in school, along with his 8 other friends. It’s a fact known to not only their friends, but the whole school. Even teachers knew. But it’s not like they did vandalism or something, just minor things. Maybe it started with seniors hating them because they were too loud, like they always said, which was funny because for a freshman who just started middle school, wasn’t it normal to be a little loud sometimes? But maybe because people were so used to know this school as a school for good kids with good grades, so normal kids like them seems un-normal to others.

He didn’t even knew why he came here. To this boarding school for ‘good kids’. Maybe because he just wanted to run away from home. But in a good way. So he chose to go to a boarding school. And as one of the students who always got straight As for every examination in elementary school, it’s not that hard to enter to this school.

So he did. He ran away from home.

To be completely honest, the first year he’s in that school, he didn’t even knew him. Okay, that’s a lie. He did knew him. But just as Lee Donghae, Song Sangki’s boyfriend.

But hey, no one can’t blame him because he thinks its just about 3 or 4 times he actually saw him throughout the whole year. Despites him being classmate with his 4 close friends. Despites him always went to his class during free period or self-study period to have a chat with his friends there. Because the 12 years old Lee Donghae was so small, and it was hard for the popular Lee Hyukjae to notice that small kid.

The whole year was fun. Hyukjae had a crush on his senior. Nothing big happened actually, just him freaked out on the last day of school while on his way to confess to that senior. Even though he had prepared the whole year for this. Even bought a stupid crystal ball music box for him. So in the end, his stupid self just gave the stupid gift to a girl senior name Sooyun, telling her good luck with high school before ran away.

And then came the second year after Lee Hyukjae decided to be selfish and ran away from home. Still the same. Hyukjae still didn’t notice Donghae, even though he has grew for about 8cm compared to last year.

He’s still busy with being popular, delinquent and rebellious kid like during the first year. And like during the first year, he also busy crushing on a senior. Also like the first year, Hyukjae still only knew Donghae as Sangki’s boyfriend.

But thing changed during senior year. Because for the first time, he talked, face-to-face with Donghae. Which he noticed has grew a few cm taller than last year.

They worked for senior night together. Spent few days after final exam together with the other 24 students. Decorating, choosing and playing. So much fun.

“Hey Hyuk, you know about Sangki and Donghae?”, one of his friends, Duckyoung, asked him when they were sitting in an empty class together.

Hyukjae just looked at him, signaling him to continue.

“I heard Sangki cheated. He’s with another person now”, Duckyoung said, half whispering.

“Who?”, Hyukjae asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Duckyoung looked around before continued, “Myungdae.”

“I always knew that there is something going on with those two”, Hyukjae said while laughing. “Oh, poor Donghae.”

“I knew right! I always knew Sangki is a player. Using his innocent face to look sweet. I always hate people with face like his”, Duckyoung added.

“Hey, aren’t you friend with him? Like ‘best friend of the year’ with him?”, Hyukjae said, quoting the word ‘best friend of the year’ with both of his hands.

“Shut up! I only become friend with him just to know his secrets”, Duckyoung said, his eyes glared at Hyukjae.

“You know you are the worst, right?” And they both laughed.

A few days after that unimportant conversation he had with Duckyoung, came the night they waited for since they entered senior year. Yes, senior night.