momo throws an arm over her eyes. then a blanket over her head for good measure. it's stifling under here. good.

"would things have changed?" she asks, muffled by the cotton.

"why are you under there?" sana's somewhere outside. not inside her safe cocoon so she pays no mind to it.

"so i can be honest." 

"aren't we usually honest with each other?"

"...not always." sana knows what she means.

"things are always changing, momo." and she says it in the way that sounds patronizing, but only to momo. things tend to sound that way when a name is tacked onto the end. "we can't really help that, just as much as we can't help that autumn turns to winter."

momo snorts. "did you get that from hello counselor or something."

"i don't think i like honest you."

momo throws the blanket back over her head. it lands crumpled on her legs. it was too hot under there anyway.

"yeah, neither do i."

/ 

they had a bottle of wine to share. maybe a few. it was momo's celebratory dinner for winning that dance scholarship she'd been gunning for. the restaurant was a tad overcrowded, and sana had already had a mishap with one of her heels that led to an unsightly stain on hana's dress but, well, momo loved them. she wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else. 

hana was only going to be in town for a few days; mandatory visit to the homestead before going back to her husband overseas. okaa-san had been pestering for months and video calls just weren't the same. hana bidded them good night at the end of it. called it in a little early because okaa-san would have a fit if they missed the first mackerel pillage at tsukiji market on account of her daughter's hangover. 'fish don't wait for anyone!'

sana and momo were left to meander through the town and walk off their dinner, after momo had made sure to schedule a ride for hana. they stopped at a bridge junction overlooking a local river. the only other people around were a couple swigging some beers under the shallow arch. momo could hear their laughs and the crush of aluminum. 

then the breeze picked up. they pressed themselves into each other and knotted their arms. red-faced and free of inhibitions.

sana sighed; one of those content, breathless ones. like the night would never end and the stars would always shine. momo could see the palpable cloud.

"i feel like i should say something," sana started, "but i don't really know what."

momo nodded against her, hairs tickling the skin of sana's cheek. "me too."

"there are a lot of things i want to tell you," sana said. she brushed circles onto momo's hand.

"i liked you, you know." it just came out. calmer than momo had intended too, which probably pissed sana off even more, she realized later.

then a sharp, quiet  you sounded from beside her. momo didn't have a chance to blink before she was left with the brisk wind and the remains of sana's back as she stomped away in her heels. they made a shrill but hard sound, dampened by the concrete. 

maybe she was a little dumbfounded, but - maybe she was waiting for this, too.

momo was set to fly out to korea that next week. already half-packed. she was going to ask sana to come with her, to be someone she could home to. 

she'd always been foolish.

/

three weeks into the move, sana was at her doorstep, shouldering her way inside with two large suitcases in tow. "i'm sleeping on the side by the wall," she grumbled.

/ 

the night was winding down. momo had a few too many; she probably shouldn't have joined jeongyeon's impromptu teeter-totter of mixing spirits but - it was a party. parties were for celebrating. at least that was what she told herself. she would regret it in the morning.

"woah there," someone said from beside her, leveling a hand on her waist. momo turned to find that it was mina. she exhaled in relief. she didn't normally like being touched but mina felt comforting and her hands felt like they were tethering momo to the ground. where the skin was soft and the world wasn't spinning. "you okay?"

"yeahh," momo slurred. chuckled. "thanks."

mina smiled at her. mina was so pretty. "you're welcome." chaste too. momo always liked that about her.

sana was giggling from the balcony. it was music to her ears. momo turned to look at her. sana was so pretty. beautiful. gorgeous. wonderful. amazing. smart. she waved at momo then, and smiled. dazzling.

her best friend. momo felt her eyes prickle.

"momo," mina said. momo was only vaguely paying attention. "momo-chan."

"huh?"

"you should tell her."

momo met mina's eyes. they were kind, mostly. maybe too keen around the corners. "huh?"

mina gave her a look that said don't play dumb.

momo sighed. "i can't."

"mm," mina said. maybe it's a little annoying.

"i like how it is right now. how we are. i'm - living in the moment." momo popped open another beer. sobriety was overrated.

/

nights like these always ended the same - two people, taking turns to hold each other's hair back in the hours of 2am to 3am.

"remind me again to never listen to a word jeongyeon says," momo groaned.

sana laughed with her entire upper body, huddled over the toilet. "it was fun though, wasn't it?"

"yeah," momo admitted.

sana sighed. "i need to recharge my electric toothbrush."

momo peeked at the silhouettes in the frosted glass doors of their cabinet. "there are spares in the cabinet."

"those aren't electric."

"when did you get so bougie?" momo began to clean her makeup off with a wet wipe messily. sana grabbed hold of it a few seconds later.

"they make my teeth feel really clean!"

"then are mine terrible?" sana finished the last few across momo's jaw.

"no, yours are perfect."

they're definitely not, but sana sounded sincere enough to cause a dust of pink on momo's cheeks. luckily shielded in the already-present flaming vermillion from the booze.

sana ended up waiting in the bathroom for ten minutes. long enough to get a short charge. momo was already in bed when she came in.

"did you see jeongyeon doing the sprinkler in the living room?"

momo laughed. "yeah, that was funny."

"i think she was doing it to impress mina."

"what, do you have a crush on her? you always talk about her." momo didn't know where that came from.

"no, silly," sana giggled. "what if i have a crush on you?"

momo froze. stayed silent and closed her eyes. a few minutes later she heard sana turn off the light. felt sana's gentle fingers brush her bangs back. then soft lips onto her heated forehead.

"good night, momo."

thank god it was dark.

/ 

they don't talk about it again. not for a while.

sana's moved on. momo's - dated. nothing serious, just enough to get her by. people that'd hit on her at a bar and that she strung along for a few makeouts until they realized that was all they were going to get. momo's saving herself, for whatever reason. it's kind of annoying. because she'd feel better. oxytocin and all that.

sana's out with nayeon again. nayeon is nice. momo's met her a few times. when she comes home from work and they're all giggly and kissing sweetly at the door. like they don't want to part. momo just says her salutations and goes inside. fixes herself a cup of tea or cracks open a beer to quiet the remaining buzz of the day.

they seem to be getting serious. there are more and more nights where momo's received a staying with nayeon for the night. don't wait up. sometimes just the latter part. momo is happy for her.

"why doesn't nayeon ever sleep over here?" she asks one night, pouring hot water onto tea leaves. the steam is comforting. "it's not like we- you have your own bedroom now."

sana pauses her channel switching. it lands on a commercial for some generic cleaning sponge.

("cable is outdated," momo stated. she was right.

"yeah, but i think not knowing where you're going to land is fun," sana said, then pulled her toward the pastel-colored plates and cups with braided handles. "these would look so cute in our kitchen!")

"i- we- don't want to disturb you," sana says. goes back to flipping channels.

"you wouldn't disturb me." momo puts the kettle away. stalks to the living room with careful fingers and places it on the coffee table. she’d forgotten a coaster. "i like nayeon."

sana tenses when the seat next to her dips. suddenly the couch feels cramped. "i think i'm going to