Chanyeol nursed his beer slowly and joked around with Minseok and Suho over a plate of wings, but the subject of breakups had him thinking a bit about Nana. There were times he missed her, or at least he missed the idea of what he thought would be.

 

He had met her while he was in med school. She was a fellow med student's cousin and it had been a fix up. The first date had gone smoothly; the next seven dates in as many weeks went even better and before he knew it, he was dating Nana exlusively. They had so much in common, they grew on each other. She was as RN and he was studying medicine. She was pretty, had a good sense of humor, understood his work as he understood hers and in no time at all they had settled into a comfort zone that accommodated them both. And it didn't hurt that the was satisfying. Everything seemed compatible.

 

Nana had been in charge of the relationship from the start and Chanyeol didn't have to think about it much, which suited him perfectly. He was a busy guy; he didn't have a lot of time for flirtation or pursuit. Nana was very well-equipped to fill him in on their agenda and he was perfectly happy to go along. "Valentine's Day is coming up," she would say. "I guess we'll be doing something special?"

 

Ding, ding,ding---he could figure that out easy. "Absolutely," he would say. then he'd get a reservation, buy a gift. Nana thought he was brilliant and sensitive and all was right with his world.

 

It had been working out effortlessly until he asked her to go to Seoul with him, to live ith him. His residency in orthopedic surgery was beginning, he'd dated Nana exlusively for a couple of years and it seemed like the natural progression of things. "Not without an engagement ring," she said. So he provided one. It had seemed reasonable enough.

 

But the move from Seoul changed verything. It hasn't gone well for Nana. She'd been out of her element, away from her job, friends and family, and Chanyeol had been far too stressed and overworked to help her make the transition. She was lonely, needed attention, time, reassurance. And he had wanted to give it to her, but it was like squeezing water out of rock. It wasn't long before their only communication was in the form of arguing---make that fighting. Fights followed by days or not speaking or nights in which she cried into her pillow and wouldn't take comfort from him, if he could stay awake long enough to give it.

 

Chanyeol shook off the memory and finally said to Suho, "So, tell me about Baekhyun..." he was distracted by a sudden flash and saw that it was none other than Baekhyun himself with the camera, getting a shot of a couple in a toast. "What's with the camera?"

 

"He's a photographer, as a matter of fact. A good one," Suho said. "He started out studying business in college but dropped out before he was twenty-one to start his own business. My sister Marionette, his mother, almost had a heart attack over that. But it turned out he knew exactly what he was doing. There's a waiting list for his work"

 

"Is that a fact?" he said, intrigued. "He seems kind of young..."

 

"Very young, but he's been taking great pictures since he was in high school. Maybe earlier?"

 

"Where?"

 

"He lives in Gangnam, actually."

 

Gangnam, Chanyeol thought. Like next door! Of course, that didn't matter if Baekhyun wouldn't even talk to him. But he wasn't giving anything away. "Is he a little artsy-farsty?" Chanyeol asked.

 

Suho laughed. "Not at all---he's very practical. But lately he's been trying some new stuff, shooting the horses, mountains, valleys, roads and buildings. Sunrises, sunsets, clouds, er cetera." Suho looked over at Baekhyun as he busily snapped pictures of a happy couple. "It's kind of nice to see him taking pictures of people again."

 

Chanyeol watched Baekhyun focus, direct the pair with one hand while holding his camera with the other. His face seriously lit up; his smile was alive and whatever it was he was saying caused him subjects to laugh, which was followed by several flashes. He was so animated as he took five or six more shots, then pulled a business card out of the pocket of his jeans and handed it to the couple. He was positively gorgeous when he wasn't giving him the brush. Then Baekhyun retreated to his spot by the hearth and put his camera down. He noticed that the second he gave up the camera, his face returned to its seriousness. The sight of him was immediately obscured by partiers.

 

Chanyeol wanted one of those business cards.

 

"Hey, Chanyeol, you didn't make out your resolution." Minseok said, passing him a slip of paper and pen. "That's the price of admission."

 

"I don't usually do resolution," Chanyeol said. "Well, except every morning when I resolve to fly under the radar of the senior residents."

 

"Because?" Minseok asked.

 

Sometimes Chanyeol forgot that few people knew what the life of a junior resident was like. "Because they're sociopaths with a mean streak."

 

"Ah," Minseok said as if he bought that. "Maybe that's your resolution---to avaoid sociopaths? When you've written one, it goes in the pot here."

 

"And then?" Chanyeol asked.

 

"When you're getting ready to leave, you can draw one---maybe you'll get a better one than you wrote. Give you something new to strive for."

 

Chanyeol laughed. "I dunno. This is such a crazy idea," he said. "What if the one I draw is to bike across the South Korea?"

 

Minseok looked around. "Nah," he said. "No danger of that around here. You could draw one that says to remember your annual mammogram, however. Now get on it." he said, tapping the paper on the bar.

 

Chuckling, Chanyeol wrote. Then he scratched it out. Thinking about the grumpy but beautiful guy in the corner he wrote "Start the new year by giving a new guy a chance." Then he folded it in half and shoved it in his pocket; he asked for a new piece of paper. On his second try he wrote "Don't let past hurts ruin future possibilities."

 

Then he took a bolstering swallow of his beer and said, "Excuse me a second." And off he went to the other side of the room.

 

He stood in front of Baekhyun, smiled his handsomest smile and said, "So. You're a photographer."

 

Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol, his expression deadpan. "Yes," he said.

 

"You like being a photographer?" Chanyeol asked.

 

Again there was that pregnant pause before Baekhyun said, "Yes."

 

"What do you like best about it?"

 

Baekhyun thought for a moment. Then he said, "The quiet."

 

Chanyeol had to ask himself why in the world he was interested. Baekhyun was beautiful, but Chanyeol had never been drawn by beauty alone. He'd known lots of gorgeous person who fell short in other areas, thus killing his interest instantly. For a person to really intrigue him Baekhyun had to be fun, smart, good natured, energetic, driven by something besides his looks and above all, positive. So far this one, this Baekhyun, had only looks going for him and it was not enough. Still,  for unknown reasons, he lingered. "The quiet," he repeated. "Anything else?"

 

"Yes. It doesn't require any other people. I can do it alone."

 

"Just out of curiosity, are you always this unapproachable, or is it just at New Year's Eve parties?"

 

Baekhyun shrugged. "Pretty much always."

 

"Gotcha. One last question. Will you take my picture?"

 

"For what occasion?" Baekhyun asked.

 

Nothing came to mind. "Passport photo?" Chanyeol attempted.

 

"Sorry. I don't do passport photos."

 

Chanyeol smiled at him. "Well, Baekhyun as you obviously wish to be, on your own."

 

---

 

Oh, I'm such a , Baekhyun thought as he watched Chanyeol's back weave through the people to return to the bar. When he sat up on the stool beside his uncle, he cringed in embarassment. He adored his uncle Suho and knew how much he cared about him, how it had hurt him to see Baekhyun in pain on what was supposed to have been his wedding day, how it killed him to see Baekhyun struggle with it for a long afterward. But while he knew Suho had nothing but sympathy for him, Baekhyun realized his Uncle Suho was running short on patience with his bitterness and what could only be described as attitude a full year later.

 

His Uncle wasn't the only one. Friends had tried to encourage him to let go of the heartache and move on. If he didn't want to date again, fine, but being pissed off all the time was not only wearing on friendships, it was hurting business. And he was hearing a lot about the fact that he was only twenty-five! He wasn't sure if twenty-five was so young it excused him to making such a mistake on Sehun or if that meant he had decades left to find the right guy!

 

Then, right after he arrived in Buncheon, Lay had taken his side, sat him down and said, "This rage isn't going to help you get on with your life in a positive way, Baekhyun. You're not the only one who's been dumped. I found out the man I was supposed to marry had three full-time girlfriends he lived with---each of us part time, of course."

 

"How'd he manage that?" Baekhyun had asked, intrigued and astonished.

 

"He obviously kept a very careful calendar. He was in sales and traveled. When I thought he was selling farm equipment, he was actually with one of the other girlfriends."

 

"Oh, my God! You must have wanted to kill him!"

 

"Sure. I was kind of hoping my dad or one of my brothers would do it for me, but when they didn't I got past it. I realize I wasn't left at the altar with a very expensive, non-refundable wedding to pay for, like you were. I can't imagine the pain and humiliation of that, but even so, I was very angry. And now I'm so grateful that I found a way to get beyond that because of I hadn't, I would never have given Suho a chance. And your uncle Suho is the best thing that ever happened to me."

 

What Baekhyun wanted to tell Lay was that the pain and humiliation wasn't the worst part---it was that his friends and family pitied him for being left. What was wrong with him, that Sehun would do that?

 

Baekhyun knew what was wrong, when he thought about it. His nose was too long, his forehead too high, his chest small and feet big, his hips too wide, he hadn't finished college and he took pictures for a livin. That they were good pictures didn't seem to matter---it wasn't all that impressive. He sometimes veered into that territory of "if  had been a super model with a great body, Sehun never have left me." Intellectually he knew that was nonsense, but emotionally he felt lacking in too many ways.

 

Instead he said to Lay, "Did you know? Did you ever have a hint that something was wrong?"

 

Lay shook his head. "Only when it was over, when I looked back and realized he never spent a weekend with me, and I was too trusting to wonder why he hadn't ever asked me to join him on a business trip to one of the other towns where he stayed overnight on business. Oh, after it was all over, I had lots of questions. But as the time?" Lay shook his head. "I hadn't know anything was wrong."

 

"Me either," Baekhyun said.

 

"I probably didn't want to know anything was wrong," Lay added. "I don't like conflict."

 

Baekhyun didn't say anything. He was pretty well acquainted with his own denial and that hurt just about as much as the hard truth.

 

"Well, there was one thing," Lay corrected. "after it was all over I wondered if I shouldn't have been more desperate to spend every moent with him, if I loved him so much. You know---Suho gets called out in the middle of the night pretty often, and I never make a fuss about it. But we both complain if we haven't had enough time together. We need each other a lot. that never happened with Leo. I was perfectly fine when he wasn't around. Should have tipped me off, I guess."

 

No help there, Baekhyun thought, Sehun had complained constantly of Baeklhyun's Fridays through Sundays always being booked with shoots. There were times Baekhyun worked a sixteen-hour day on the weekends, covering three weddings and receptions and a baptism. Slip in some engagement slide shows, photos of babies, whatever had to be done for people who worked Monday through Friday and who only had weekends  available. Then from Monday through Thursday he'd work liek a dog editing and setting up proofs.

 

Sehun was a Gangnam Police Officer who aroked swing shifts to have weekends off and Baekhyun was always unavailable then.

 

Baekhyun revisited that old argument---wait a minute! Here was a clue he hadn't figured out at the time. Sehun had a few years seniority with GPO, so why would he work swings just to have those weekends off when he knew Baekhyun would be tied up with his clients the entire time? Baekhyun's been rather proud of the fact that it hadn't taken him long to develop a strong clientele, to make incredibly good money for a guy his age---weddings were specially profitable. But he'd had to sacrifice his weekends to get and keep that success.

 

So why? It would have been easy for him to get a schedule with a Tuesday through Thursday, his lightest days, off. In fact, if he had been willing to take those days off, and work the day shift regularly, they could have gone to bed together every night. Sehun said at the time that it suited his body clock, that he wasn't a morning person. And he liked to go out on the weekends. He went out with "the boys." The boys? Not bloody likely...

 

After being left at the church a couple of Sehun's groomsmen had admitted he'd been having his doubts about the big, legal, forever commitment. Apparently Sehun worried aloud to them, but all he ever did was argue with Baekhyun about it. We don't need all that! We could fly to Hawaii, get married there, take a week sailing, scuba diving... Sehun hadn't said the commitment was an issue, just the wedding---something Baekhyun and his mom were having a real party putting together. So Baekhyun had said, "Try not to worry so much, Sehun---you'll get your week in Hawaii on the honeymoon. Just be at the church on time, say your lines and we'll be diving and sunning and sailing before you know it."

 

Baekhyun shook his head in frustration. What was the point in figuring it out now? He grabbed his coat, his camera and headed out the door. The snow was still gently falling and he backed away from the town Christmas tree, snapping photos as he went. He zoomed in on some of the military unit patches used as decorations, caught snowflakes glistening against gold balls and white lights, captured angles of the tree until,  finally far enough away, he got the whole tree. If these came out the way he hoped, he might use them for something next Christmas---ads or cards or something.

 

Then he turned adn caught a couple of good shots of the bar porch, the snow drifting on the rails and steps and roof. Then of the street with all the houses lit for holiday cheer. Then the bar porch with a man leaning agianst the rail, arms crossed over his chest---a very handsome man.

 

Baekhyun lowered the camera ang walked toward Chanyeol. There was no getting around the fact that Chanyeol was handsome---tall and built, light brown hair, twinkling brown eyes, and if Baekhyun remembered right, a very y smile. He stood on the porch and Baekhyun looked up at him.

 

"Okay, look, I apologize," Baekhyun said. "It's not like me to be so rude, so 'unapproachable' as you call it. I got dumped, okay? I'm still my wounds, as my Uncle Suho puts it. Not a good time for me to respond to come-on from a guy. I'm scared to death to meet a guy and end up actually liking him, so I avoid all males. That's it in a nutshell," Baekhyun added with a shrug. "I used to be very friendly and outgoing---now I'm on guard a lot."

 

"Apology accpeted. And I had a bad breakup, too, but it was a while ago. Water under the bridge, as they say."

 

"You got dumped?"

 

Chanyeol gave a nod. "And I understand how you feel. So let's start over. What do you say? I'm Chanyeol Andrew Park," he said.

 

Baekhyun took another step toward the porch, looking up at Chanyeol. "Baekhyun Archer Byun. But when? I mean, how long ago did you get dumped?"

 

"About nine months, I guess."

 

"About?" Baekhyun asked. It must not have impacted him in quite the same way if he couldn't remember teh date. "I mean---was it traunatic?"

 

"Sort of," Chanyeol said. "We were engaged, lived together, but we were arguing all the time. She finally told me she wasn't willing to have a life like that and we had to go our separate ways. It wasn't my idea to break up." Chanyeol shrugged. "I thought we could fix it and wanted to try, but she didn't."

 

"Did you know?" Baekhyun asked. "Were you expecting it?"

 

Chanyeol shook his head. "I should have expected it, but it broadsided me."

 

"How can that be? If you should have expected it, how coulds it possibly have taken you bu surprise?"

 

Chanyeol took a deep breath, looked skyward into the softly falling flakes, then back at Baekhyun. "We were pretty miserable, but before we lived together we did great. I'm a medical resident and my hours were...still are hideous. Sometimes I'm on for thirty-six hours and just get enough time off to sleep. She needed more from me than that. She..." Chanyeol looked down. "I don't like calling her she or her. Nana had a hard time changing her life in order to move in with me. She had to get a new job, make new friends, and I was never there for her. I should have seen it coming but I didn't. It was all my fault but I could't have done anything to change it."

 

"Where are you from?" Baekhyun asked him.

 

"Seoul. About four hours south of here."

 

"Wow," Baekhyun said. "We actually do have some things in common."

 

"Do we?" chanyeol asked.

 

"But you're over it. How'd you get over it?"

 

Chanyeol put his hands in his front pants pockets. "She invited me to her engagement party three months ago. To another surgical resident. Last time I looked, he was on the same treadmill I was on. Guess he manages better with no sleep."

 

"No way," Baekhyun said, backing away from the bar's porch a little bit.

 

"Way."

 

"You don't suppose...?"

 

"That she was doing him when she was supposed to be doing me?" Chanyeol asked for him. "It crossed my mind. But I'm not going there. I don't even want to know. All that aside, she obviously wasn't the one. I know that now. Which means it really was my fault. I was hooking up with someone out of inertia, not because I was insanely in love with her. Bottom line, Baekhyun, me and Nana? We both dodged a bullet. We were not meant to be."

 

Baekhyun was speechless. His mouth formed a perfect O. His eyes were round. He wished he'd been able to take his own situation in such stride. "Holy crap," Baekhyun finally said. Then he shook his head. "I guess you have to be confident to be in medicine and all."

 

"Aw, come on, don't give the study all the credit. I might actually have some common sense." Chanyeol took a step down from the bar porch to approach Baekhyun, his heel slid down the step and he went aiborne. While Chanyeol was in the air, there was rapid flashes from Baekhyun's camera. Then Chanyeol landed flast on his back, and there was more flashes.

 

Baekhyun stood over him, camera in hand. He looked at Chanyeol. "Are you all right?"

 

chnayeol narrowed his eyes at ?Baekhyun. It took him amoment t catch his breacth. "I could be paralyzed, you know. I hope I was hallucinating, but were you actually taking my pictures as I fell?"

 

"Well, I couldn't catch you," Baekhyun said. Then he smiled.

 

"You are sick and twisted."

 

"Maybe you should lie still. I could go in the bar and get the pediatrician and the obygne to have a look at you. I met them earlier, before you got here."

 

Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun; Baekhyun was still msiling. Apprently it didn't take much to cheer him up---the near death of a man seemed to put Baekhyun in a better mood. "Maybe you could just show them the pictures..."

 

Bakehyun fell into his knees beside Chanyeol and laughed, his camera still in hand. It was a bright and happy sound ang those beautiful blue eyes glittered. "Seriously, you're the doctor---do you think you're all right?"

 

"I don't know," Chanyeol said. "I haven't moved yet. One wrong move and I could be paralyzed from the neck down."

 

"Are you playing me?"

 

"Might be." Chnayeol admitted with a shrug of his shoulders.

 

"Hah! You moved! You're fine, Get up."

 

"Are you going to have a drink with me?" Chanyeol asked.

 

"Why should I? Seriously, we're a couple of wounded birds---we probably shouldn't drink, and we certainly shouldn't drink together!"

 

"Get over it!" Chanyeol said, rising a bot, holding himself up on his elbows. "We'll have a couple of drinks, toast the New Year, move on. But give it atry not so pissed pff. See if you can have some fun." Chanyeol  smiled. "Just for the heck of it?"

 

Baekhyun sat back on his heels and eyes Chanyeol warily. "Is thi sjust more inertia?"

 

Chanyeol grin widened. "No, Baekhyun. This is part chivalry and part animal attraction."

 

"Oh, God...I just got dumped by an animal. So not looking for another one."

 

Chanyeol have her a gentle punch in the arm. "Buck up, Be a big boy. I bet you haven't let an interested guy buy you a drink in a long time. Take a chance. Practice on me. I'm harmless."

 

Baekhyun lifted one light brown brow. "How do I know you're harmless?"

 

"I'm going back to sacrifice myself to the gods of residency in two days. They'll chew me up and spit me out. Those chied residents are ruthless and they want revenge for what was done to them when they were the little guys. There won't even be a body left. No one will ever know you succumed to having a beer with me." And then Chanyeol smiled with all his teeth.

 

Baekhyun tsked and rolled his eyes at him.

 

Chanyeol sat up. "See how much you like me? You're putty in my hands."

 

"You're a dork!"

 

Chanyeol got to his feet and held out a hand to Baekhyun, helping him up. "I've heard that, but I'm not buying it yet. I think if you dig deep enough, I might be cool."

 

Baekhyun brushed off the knees of his jeans. "I'm not sure I have that kind of time."