Taeyeon woke up with a start and found her left arm numb from sleeping on it.

She drew a sharp breath when she saw Baekhyun with his eyes closed, just a few inches away from her face.

He had joined her at the library while she was taking a nap and took a seat beside her. From the way his face was facing her, he probably fell asleep on his own arm while watching her sleep.

She looked around and realized that it was already dark outside. She had accidentally fell asleep while waiting for him a few hours ago.

She pulled back her arm and decided to use her books as a pillow, to stare at him from a comfortable angle.

How can he look so beautiful when he sleeps?

She thought to herself as her eyes slowly trailed from his relaxed brows, down to the tiny mole on the side of his nose bridge and down to his soft lips. His features are mesmerizing and she can’t help but stare at him.

“Draw a portrait, it will probably last longer.”

She was startled when he suddenly opened his mouth to say that. She laughed, but they both remained in the same position, just staring at each other with their heads still resting on the table.

“How did you know I was staring?” she asked him.

“I felt it.”

“When did you come in?”

“Around an hour ago, while the day was still bright.”

“I was tired because I stayed up last night reading. Why are you tired today?”

“I came back from the trial. Your brother has been sentenced to… execution. For the assassination of the late Crown Prince and the murder of your father. Prince Jung has been stripped from his title as Prince and sent into exile. Because while the motive was behind Prince Jung’s motivation, your brother was the one who got his hands dirty.”

“I see. Then that would be the last time we would hear from either of them.”

“Yes,” Baekhyun said in a tight voice.

“But, why do you still look uneased? Everyone responsible has already been caught.”

Taeyeon could tell that something else was still bothering him. Everytime he came back from the trial, his expression looked grim. No matter how had her tried to put on a mask to not worry her, she could still sense that something else is gnawing at him in his mind.

“I.. have a feeling that there are more people behind this.”

She flinched, feeling a shiver going down her spine. She straightened her back, no longer resting her head on the table to stare at him. He mirrored her actions, but his head stayed resting in his palm as he leaned against the table to look at her.

He paused for a moment, and seemed to be weighing what he was about to say next. “During the interrogation, Prince Jung ratted out the other ministers who had been aiding him. But I never found out who had been supplying the suicide pill that the men were using to kill themselves to not betray any secrets.”

“A suicide pill?”

“Yes, it is something they consume when they are caught, so when they lose in a fight, they will die by the pill to not risk telling anyone their secrets.”

“That means that whoever is behind it must be someone they are very loyal to. That not even the ministers or Prince Jung dared to betray them.”

“Yeah. And there’s another guy, according to Soo, he had a scar on his face. But both of us have never encountered him. So he must be high in rank, someone that doesn’t get sent on suicide missions.”

She swallowed and stared at him.

“Then they are still out there, waiting for an opportunity to strike again.”

She felt sweat forming in her palms, feeling anxious that someone is still out there, that someone is going to take her happiness away from her when she least expects it.

“No,” Her heart had started to beat again. Faster and faster.

“It will be alright, I will catch all of them.”

She shook her head. “No.”

“If only I knew that you would react like that, I wouldn’t have told you any of this.”

His eyes were intent as he stared at her. Something in his eyes looked tired and sad. As if this has been troubling him for a while and he couldn’t sleep well knowing that the main culprit is still out there.

She thought that they can finally live in peace, that everything is over and that Baekhyun’s life is no longer in danger. But who was she kidding? He is the Crown Prince of Joseon, the future King of Joseon, his life will constantly be in danger and she has to face the reality that one day she will lose him.

Her father was right, there are enemies everywhere in the palace.

Baekhyun studied her a few seconds before his lips curved into a faint smile. His hand rose up to graze her cheek, to wipe away the tear that she had accidentally let slip down her cheek.

“Taeyeon, this will be over. Trust me.”

“I promise you, once this is over, we will be together again. Trust me.”

Those were his words when he told her to trust him. And now he is telling her to trust him again.

“Stop lying to me,” she muttered, her voice shaking. “This will never be over. Our lives will always be in danger, you could die and leave me all alone in this world.”

She knew that it wasn’t his fault. It is something out of his control.

But she wanted him to stop promising her and feeding her false hopes that there will ever be a happy ending for them.

She was naive to think that once Prince Jung and her brother were caught, everything would be over. She didn’t think that before he was Crown Prince, his life was also in danger. A maid tried to poison him just because he was the second Prince.

He is already used to it, that’s why he is being so calm about everything.

“Taeyeon-a,” he grabbed her arm when she tried to pull away. “I need to do this. For us.”

“I know,” she tried to pull away from him again, but he was holding her too tightly. “But what if you… die, while catching them?”

His eyes flickered, and his expression grew cool.

“Don’t worry, if I die, you will be taken care of. There will be a clinic in the village under your name and you will get to practice –”

“Don’t do this. Why did you make all of these arrangements behind my back? I didn’t ask for this, I only want you to stay alive!”

There was a cold rage seething through her that she couldn’t quite reach.

She forced herself to think slowly.

He had been preparing to die.

She pulled away from him and stood up abruptly, “If you die, I will never be happy. I will spend my whole life mourning for your death. Why did you kiss me if you were only going to say goodbye to me?”

She studied him, she could see all the emotions behind his guarded eyes.

“Taeyeon-a…” he said after hesitating for a moment.

“I need some time alone,” she muttered under her breath when he didn’t say anything else other than her name. She wanted him to say something, to explain himself or to reassure her again that he would not die. But he couldn’t even promise that to her.

She left the library without looking back. Everyone was staring at her, so she tried to keep the tears down until she finally reached her own room.

hurts from the effort it took not to cry.

She thought she had finally found happiness with him. She thought that everything is over and although they couldn’t show their affections for each other in public, she is satisfied with just spending time with him behind closed doors.

How naive can she be to think that?

“Your Highness, are you alright?”

Hui asked from outside the room, she probably heard the sob that she accidentally let out while crying.

She swallowed hard before replying, “I’m alright.”

She pulled the sheet over her head and buried herself under it to muffle her cries. Now she understands how Baekhyun felt when he had to conceal his emotions all the time. 

Because showing any human emotions at all, will make people think that he is weak and they will take advantage of that and strike him when he is at his weakest.

He has been living like that for years, completely isolating himself from everyone. So that one day, when he dies, nobody would care or miss him. And although they are now together, it made her mad that he still believes that life will move on without him.

***

“Crown Prince, how many times do I have to tell you to stop living in the past. Isn’t arresting your own brother and half of the court members enough?”

“Your Majesty, my apologies. But I can’t stop until everyone is brought to justice. If we ignore it, they will come back one day to finish what they started. I can’t rest knowing that they are still out there!”

The Crown Prince had been summoned to the King’s chambers again, after the King found out that the Crown Prince had continued to dig around the conspiracy behind the late Queen’s assassination.

“Why start now? There’s no point in investigating something that happened ten years ago.”

“Your Majesty, I have never given up on the investigation. Someone out there still needs to pay for their crime no matter how long ago it was. I only put it on-hold when Beom died.”

The King stared at his stubborn and determined son for a long time before asking, “Why are you so hung up about this?”

“Because you covered up my mother’s death just like how you covered up Beom’s death!” Baekhyun shouted, not caring if people outside the room heard him.

“Crown Prince! How dare you accuse me of covering up your mother’s death!” the King stood up from his seat in rage. “A man has already been punished and executed for the crime. It is a case that has already been solved a long time ago!”

“No, the man that was executed was just a scapegoat. And you know that, don’t you father?”

When the Crown Prince was met with silence, he continued and said, “I know it was a loveless marriage between you and my mother. But I never thought how heartless you can be to watch your children suffer because of it. This will be the last time I am calling you my father. I will take my leave now, Your Majesty.”

The Crown Prince didn’t bother to look back as he left the King’s chambers. Though he grew up without receiving an ounce of affection from his father, it still hurts him to say that.

“Your Highness, the Crown Princess didn’t reply to your letter,” Eunuch Nam came forward and whispered to His Highness.

Baekhyun simply nodded in response and acted nonchalant about the rejection. The Crown Princess had stopped replying to his letters ever since they fought in the library. So he kept himself busy, and started to look into his late mother’s assassination at the same time.

And whenever Baekhyun tries to do something in secret, it always manages to reach the King.

“Soo, what have you got?” the Crown Prince asked him as soon as he reached his room.

“The Queen Consort’s servant was seen leaving late at night, with a letter in her hand. She passed the letter to someone outside the palace, through the servants’ gate.”

“Did you manage to intercept the letter?”

“No, Your Highness. When the man outside the palace read it on the spot, he immediately burned it before leaving.”

“The Queen Consort must be planning something. I knew that someone like her wouldn’t sit back watching her precious son get exiled.”

“Maybe she might do something during the King’s birthday. It is going to be held next week.”

“Let’s hope that we can stop her before anything happens. Try to track down that man first, he might come back again.”

“Will do, Your Highness.”

***

Taeyeon put down her book and blew out the candles, getting ready to sleep when she heard a sound from the window. She drew a sharp breath when the window opened and a figure stepped in.

She was about to scream when the man suddenly ran towards her and cupped his hand on .

“H-Hyun?”

She recognised the shape of his long slender fingers, which are too delicate for the common criminal. She looked up at him, trying to make out his facial features in the dark to make sure that it was him.

“Yes, it’s me.”

She let out a breath of relief, and reached over her desk to light up the candle. Now that the room is dimly lit and she lets him sit beside her in her bed. Although they have shared many intimate moments, the feeling of having him in close proximity alone in her room, made her cheeks heat up instantly.

“What are you doing here? It’s late,” she tried to keep her voice down because she knew any noise she made in here would alert her servants outside the door.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

She stared at him in silence for a moment before letting out a soft giggle. “You are the Crown Prince of Joseon, you didn’t have to sneak in. You just need to summon me to your chambers if you are lonely.”

“Yeah, I wanted to do that. But I don’t want to use my status and power to get your company,” he explained, reaching out his hand to brush a strayed hair away from her face. “I want to personally come to you and talk, since you have been rejecting my invitations.”

Taeyeon smiled before saying, “I needed space. But I have missed you.”

“I am sorry for speaking so lightly about dying. And I am sorry for upsetting you.”

Taeyeon shook her head gently and looped her arms around his waist to hug him close. She didn’t want to continue the conversation from that day, because she knew it would only remind her that this happiness might not be forever.

She decided that she just wants to live in the moment and not think about the future.

“Let’s pretend that the conversation that day didn’t happen,” she whispered, as she snuggled her head against his chest.

He nodded, resting his chin on the crown of her head, inhaling the comforting scent of herbs in her hair.

“Do you want to stay for the night? We can just talk.”

“Sure. I will just leave before dawn before anyone notices that I wasn’t in my room.”

Taeyeon smiled and lied down on her bed, moving over to give Baekhyun some space to lie down beside her. Baekhyun noticed that Taeyeon was half lying outside of the bed, so he pulled her in closer and pulled the sheets over the both of them so that the two of them are warm and cozy.

“I had a bad day today,” Baekhyun started, breaking the comfortable silence.

“Tell me. What happened?” she asked, tracing lazy patterns on the small space of bed between them.

“He found out I was investigating my mother’s death and tried to stop me. We got into an argument and I told him that he is no longer my father anymore. So I feel guilty saying that.”

“Did you mean it?”

“What?”

“Do you regret saying that?”

Baekhyun stared at her for a long minute before replying, “No. He went too far by covering up their deaths.”

“Then, stop feeling guilty about it. You did what you needed to do.”

He smiled before wrapping his left arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. “Yeah. I am glad that I finally did it.”

“Tell me something that you can never tell anyone.”

Taeyeon could tell that he was thinking about what she said as she felt soft steady breaths blowing onto the crown of her head.

“I have always wanted a family. A happy one.”

Taeyeon giggled and said, “This is something you could never tell anyone?”

“Yeah. I have never said it out loud. You are the first person to hear it.”

“Oh.”

After hearing about what Baekhyun’s childhood was like growing up, she could see how he just wishes for the simplest things to be happy.

“You said that night at the lantern-lighting festival that you had nothing to wish for. You could have made a wish about wanting a happy family.”

“I did. I made a wish for you. Because you are my family.”

Taeyeon felt her cheeks flush at that and buried her face deeper into his chest to hide it.

“I don’t want to be like my father. My father might have been a great ruler, but he was a terrible father.”

“Father…” Taeyeon mumbled those words under her breath. “Hyun? How many kids do you want?”

She felt him controlling himself to keep himself from laughing out loud from the vibrations under his chest. She laughed as well, looking up to meet his eyes.

“What? Was that question too random?”

“Yeah. How many kids do you want?”

“Hey. I asked you first.”

“You are the one giving birth, it is only right to ask you,” he teased.

“I adore children. I have always wanted two girls and two boys. So they can play with each other and protect one another.”

“That would be nice.”

Taeyeon could hear the depressed tone in his voice. The way he said it sounded hopeful as if it is not going to happen.

“Good always triumphs over evil. We will make it happen.”

Not long after, Baekhyun finally dozed off to sleep. His arms were still wrapped around her, not letting her go. Now that she finally had a taste of what it is like being embraced by someone she loves, she swore to herself that she will do anything it takes to make sure that they both lived happily ever after. No one, not even their greatest enemy can take him away from her.

Their love for each other ran deeper than she thought, she can’t imagine living without him by her side. And although she can’t stop him from constantly putting his life in danger, she can cherish the moments she still has with him.

As her eyelids grew heavy deeper into the night, she kept her gaze on him with eyes filled with love and adoration, it was as if he were her entire universe. With a serene smile still on her lips, she finally drifted into a deep slumber, knowing that in his arms, she was cherished and loved.