Weeks after what had happened, our interactions gradually lessened as compared to what we would have been used to previously. But because Eunbi unnie was so natural about it, no one in our dorm noticed. It became an elephant in the room only for the two us — whatever it was that was the awkward space between us after that English practice session. So for my own sake and for the group’s until the time we went our separate ways, I kept to avoiding being alone with Eunbi unnie as much as I could so that we spoke to each other only in group settings, and minimally.

Unfortunately, during one of the nights where the rest of the unnies in our dorm were having their own night out — something about going for a specific craving of grilled gopchang and dakbal which I would have joined them but I was feeling especially tired that night — only two of us were left at the dorm. I stayed in my room most of the time — that was until I heard a shrilling crash and rushed outside with much worry to check on what had happened. Watching Eunbi unnie grip her hand in pain with some tissues stained with blood almost made me rush over to attend to her instinctively but I noticed debris on the kitchen floor and decided to quickly take care of the shattered porcelain first so that no one would be hurt by it. Right after that was settled, I rushed to Eunbi unnie’s side, gently holding her hand to have a look while asking if she was alright. Eunbi unnie abruptly wriggled her hand out of my hold, merely muttering that she was fine and asked for me to just hand her the first aid kit while she moved towards our coffee table to dress her own wound. It hurt me to receive such a cold response, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to aggravate her and not especially when she was already in pain. So as soon as I left the first aid kit on the table, I turned to head back to my room.

“ Wonyoung ah. Thanks for worrying about me and for helping to clean up the debris.”

Eunbi unnie broke the awkward silence in-between and I wasn’t sure if I disliked it — for it sounded so formal and strained and unlike how comfortable we would have been if it wasn’t for what had happened and also because conversations between us would eventually lead to the taboo topic — or welcomed it since she was finally talking to me after a stretch of us avoiding each other. Hearing her call out my name for a conversation was something I missed but it was probably best for us not to tread along any lines of further chatting which would eventually lead to the topic between us. But of course, it was only logical that at some point we would have to talk about it and Eunbi unnie decided to do so that night.

“ Could you come over and sit beside me? We need to talk..a-about us.”

I didn’t like the way she took a deep breath before and stammered as though it was something along the lines of shameful to talk about but since it seemed that was the only chance we’d probably have to talk things out, I merely walked to her and kept a distance while sitting beside her on the sofa silently. I could tell that Eunbi unnie shifted uncomfortably, unsure of where to begin; and this was the first time I’ve seen the usual collected Eunbi unnie hesitate and waver in uncertainty in front of me.

“ I’m not entirely sure how to address this and I know things like feelings can’t be changed at will, but I still have to tell you that I.. I can’t reciprocate whatever feelings you have for me Wonyoung ah. It just, doesn’t seem right because you’re a minor and -”

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter