Tzuyu had a nightmare.

 

 

She gulped and ignored the sweat pooling at her skin, tuning in to focus on calming down her erratic heartbeat and heavy breaths instead.

 

There was a hint of blue sneaking into her peripheral vision, and Tzuyu closed her eyes, clenching her jaw at the momentary flash-by passing her mind.

 

She hates geranium flowers. They reminded her of the superstitious notion that happiness could be found in such small things, even with a wilting stem and rotting petals alike.

 

It was Monday, and monday's ing . Everything in particular got on Tzuyu's nerves, and there was always this stupid feeling of vagueness dripping at the acrid waste inside her stomach, echoing in her ear like a damn sink with a leakage that had water spilling out of it.

 

Tzuyu's alarm went off, and after a second or two of letting it continuously beep that annoying sound - Tzuyu inevitably groaned and sat up from under her sheets, reaching out to slam her hand atop of the device to make the ring stop and go away. 

 

Looking through sleep crescent eyes, Tzuyu read '12:30 AM' exactly on the glowing text written in bold, green font.

 

Tzuyu glanced at her surroundings - rendering the state of her room. It was a cluttered mess reflecting the nature of her personality. That inkling to show what her views on life were. Black interior with very few shades of pale or or any popping colour - clothes carelessly thrown and left in piles, curtain drapes shut tight so not even a drop of sunlight could pour in.

 

Tzuyu was a goddamn hermit, and even when she noticed a familiar voice calling out her name, she still felt that patronizing headache drive to hit her full throttle. The pulse was dire and started becoming more frequent as of late, drowning Tzuyu in a world filled only with white noise, before it subtly calms then submerges back to her quiet room - tick of the clock haunting her day-after-day.

 

“Tzuyu! hey, hey are you okay?” Brass, and then soft, like lowering the volume of a radio to fit your preference - Tzuyu’s unnie dropped to her knees and instantaneously cupped at her cheeks, beginning to rub gentle thumbs over her skin in an attempt to soothe her aggravation. It was a habit made out of routine, and Tzuyu wondered sometimes, what would it be like if that just wasn’t… wasn’t there? The case? Who the would bother to care about her when she failed to get out of bed on time even when she sets an alarm for it.

 

Tzuyu took little over a minute to respond, the tentative of her unnies touch threading to tuck the stray pieces of hair back helping to get Tzuyu on a functioning road - eyes fluttering open to see the worried face of her unnie, big and comforting, urging her to finish the process of lifting herself from the water and breathing onto shore completely again.

 

Tzuyu could feel her senses returning. She heard her unnies voice and thanked god for it, the pain gone for now - no doubt lingering to barge in for an unwelcome visit soon enough.

 

“It’s okay, you’re okay, Tzu.” Her unnie whispered, casting Tzuyu her undivided attention. Tzuyu proposed she was a damn bother, wanting to curl up and hide from the embarrassment.

 

“Thanks-- thanks, Jihyo unnie.” Tzuyu inhaled, feeling a warmth, that hand enrapturing her own in a small hold - squeezing it as a response.

 

“Of course, anytime.” Jihyo reasurred - standing while giving Tzuyu a smile. Tzuyu watched as her chest rose, and then fell in a sigh - dejectedly staring at the curtains that were bound closed before turning to look at Tzuyu like she was disappointed to witness the same parallel of scenery everyday. No improvement, no change.

 

Tzuyu fiddled with her fingers and didn’t pipe a squeak - mouth sealed shut, words ripped a theft as she felt a swell throb inside her chest. Tzuyu became avoidant, not wanting to meet Jihyo's eyes.

 

Tzuyu was sorry for a lot of things, and Jihyo could tell - could see that. Jihyo didn’t like it, didn’t like seeing her bear so much weight, wanted to so desperately pride the youngers smile and even frame it on a wallfor all eternity if she could.

 

Jihyo bit her lip and clasped her hands together, grinning widely with her top row of teeth stretching out - eyes squinted and brows quirked suggestively.

 

 “Coffee?” She chirped, earning a hesitant nod from Tzuyu. “Oh,” rolling her sleeve up, Jihyo checked her watch, “I’m assuming you haven’t taken your medication yet. They should stave off the headaches, have them while I make you a cup.”

 

Tzuyu nodded once again, clutching at the edge of her bed.

 

Her mom, wherever she was, would want Tzuyu to try. Even if defeat was much easier to accept than putting in effort.

 

Determined to start anew, Tzuyu relaxed her stiffened muscles and decided to listen to the universe - feeling every tingle and spark ignite against her skin as she emptied the air from her stomach by slowly exhaling.

 

This time would be different. She could do it, for the sake of Jihyo and everyone else - Tzuyu could do it.

 

And she swore she would.