“i’m really sorry, this was all we could do.” seulgi shyly nudges her, and wendy reassures her by putting her arm around her taller friend. “you guys have done more than enough. i’m really thankful.” she beams, even if it can’t quite reach her eyes. 

“i’m still happy i came back.” she says, honestly. 

seulgi shakes her head lightly, still feeling guilty for nothing having done more to help. “what’s going to happen now?” she asks, and it feels like they’re back on the same loop again.

//

“just write what you feel.” a very kind seulgi hands her a pen and college-ruled loose papers. “this will make do for now, i’m sure she’ll understand.” she tightly smiles at her friend while making her take a seat at their writing table. irene was holding an old LP sleeve, handing it over to the girl in front of her, wearing the same expression as seulgi’s, “it’s going to be okay. we’ll be outside if you need us.” she gives her a tap on the shoulder as they excuse themselves out of the room to give her privacy. wendy was hopeless, but she takes the items anyway, straightening her back as she wipes the tears of her face with the sleeve of her worn-out flannel.

she tried different bars, asking if she could perform for them for a bit of money but most of them shut her down. she had contemplated selling her guitar but, in the end, it wasn’t enough: it was joy’s birthday and she couldn’t get her a present. she had walked around aimlessly for awhile, before stumbling on irene and seulgi’s door as a last resort.

crestfallen, she clicks her pen, gliding it on the paper as she starts out: happy birthday, joy…

//

“yeah, yeri, i’ll be back later. i just forgot something here.” joy says over the phone as she steps out of her bedroom. her head is spinning from moving her head too much, trying to look for a specific red book that was an important reading material for her reviews. “sure, bye.” she carelessly puts her phone on the edge of the shelf below her arms’ reach.

her eyes scan the shelf again, in case she had missed something earlier. nothing on the top shelf, and she was about rub her nape in annoyance when her hand knocks off her phone, causing it to fall on the ground. “ugh.” she clicks her tongue as she puts her gaze to where it has ended, reaching down to pick the device. to her luck, she sees the obnoxiously loud, thick red binder sticking out at the bottom of the shelf. she smiles finally, crouching down and begins to pull it out but her eyes dart to a familiar box next to it instead.

her hand hovers over the lid for a minute. she takes a deep breath, unsure if she’s going to take it off or not. there was nothing good to come out of that if she were to do it. she stops there for a while, pensive but eventually gives in because she’ll have to get over it at some point. 

it’s really over this time. she didn’t see her again after that trip at the wedding venue. wendy gave her the space she had asked for and seulgi has told her a few days ago that she’s just arranging some legal stuff with chanyeol, her brother who is living abroad, before finally preparing to leave again. joy thinks it’s better to end their story like this: with no resentment towards each other and maturely accepting that sometimes life is cruel to two people who are in love. wendy coming back to her was solace briefly-lived, and now, they would continue to live their lives separately.

she shifts to her knees while taking the lid of the box and is greeted with the random items that belonged to wendy. guitar strings, records, keys, that framed photo, a small tin container she used to keep as a coin bank when they were saving up to buy a new loveseat for the living room. joy reminisces when she was joking how the one they have was hurting her back already, and wendy could only offer her hands for a massage. she laughs bitterly to herself, because in the end they really didn’