joy holds her wine glass close to her chest, a little buzzed but grinning at yeri. “are you proud of me?” she asks with a cheesy smile on her face, but her eyes were glassy, somewhat b with tears, it was deceiving even herself. “i’m not stupid anymore.”

the younger girl doesn’t miss a beat. “but you’re not happy.” she says truthfully. she leans her head on joy’s shoulder, closing her eyes. “i don’t like seeing you this way either.” she feels the damp of joy’s hair by her neck, but she’s thankful she’s not shivering from the cold anymore. she recalls how frantic she was when joy knocked on her door, looking pale and she thought she would pass out from being left in the rain.

it wasn’t easy to watch her try to get back on her feet on her own. even if yeri has expressed disdain towards their relationship in the past, she knew what made joy happy. she wasn’t against it, if she were being honest, she wasn’t just super supportive either. who would condone something that was hurting someone she cares about?

“i just,” joy sighs in resign as she puts her glass down. “i’m in love with her, yeri. despite everything i don—i can’t help it. i’m in love with her.” she feebly admits, pulling the blanket up to cover her shoulders.

joy grunts as she puts her head back to rest on the foot of yeri’s bed. it’s true, she loves wendy. probably the only woman she’ll ever love, and if it’s not in her cards then she will have to give up on love completely. 

but to rekindle that path was also daunting for her. no matter how hard she tried, she’s reminded of her birthday that night and how easy it was for the other girl to give up on her. how did she not a find a reason to stay?

“i know what you’re thinking.” yeri starts as she noticed her friend being a little too quiet. she lifts her head to look at joy, and sighs. “that she left you and you think you’re not worth it. i hate it when you do that...”

“she may not have stayed before but…” yeri contemplates again, “now, i think she found her reason to come back.  i know you’re scared, but it doesn’t mean you’ll have to let go altogether. you can take your time with it.” she smiles reassuringly. joy wasn’t used to her being like this, but she laughs lightly and taps yeri’s hand for comfort. “thanks. look at you… you’re such a grown-up, attorney.” she jokes even if she feels wounded with what just happened. 

“ugh! my stupid degree doesn’t even hold me at night.” yeri groans as her frustrations become muffled with her hands covering her face. joy chuckles at that, amusing insinuation that a girlfriend was more important than her law degree. she wraps her arms around her, “thanks for being here.” and yeri leans her body onto her, hugging her back, i got you, it’ll be okay. 

//

she channels her energy on reviewing instead. it was more productive this way, sticking to a tight schedule and having no time to be sidetracked. she’s spending her extra time at yeri’s guest room, and one instance rosé tried to help her review too.

“why do i have to go again?” joy asks as she looks up from the book she’s reading.

irene had visited yeri’s apartment unannounced to ask joy for a favor. joy had groaned, lightly exasperated when she heard the two familiar loud cackles behind her side of the door that went on forever before the lawyer said she had to leave for the day. whatever they were laughing about, it wasn’t that funny.

“because!” irene says with a hop as she leans on the table joy was using. “it’s the only day they’re available for an ocular inspection. seulgi says you both have similar taste so she’ll take your word for it if you like it.” 

they were meaning to look at this wedding hall with a garden of beautiful flowers surrounding it. seulgi wanted to see it with irene but she has to work out of town on the only free day it suddenly became available for visits. and since she can’t be there personally, joy was their best next bet for the task.

joy huffs before leaning back to her seat to look at irene better. “but why bother?” she asks, crossing her arms, “you guys can’t even afford that place.” irene laughs loudly at that as she playfully flicks joy’s forehead in response, not in the slightest offended. she has always admired how straightforward joy could get. the hall was really expensive to book and too good to be true, but it’s also fun to pretend like they can. “come on! you need a break from all of these anyway. yeri told me you’ve been reading nonstop. that’s not healthy.” she waves one of her reviewers scattered on the table as she persuades joy. 

“but wendy will be there.” joy mumbles as she balls her fists on top of her book, feeling anxious. they haven’t talked to or even seen each other that night when they argued in the rain, but the taller girl knows she’s been staying with the couple again. if she were to go, she wouldn’t want to make it awkward for any of them.

irene takes notice of her uneasiness at even mentioning wendy’s name and puts her hand over joy’s to soothe her. “don’t worry about it. she knows i’m asking you anyway. and she says she’s good if you’re good with it too.” irene smiles at her, firm on not taking sides knowing that the both of them are hurting. “besides, yeri said she wants to go too.”

that would make things easier as yeri is a good mood-maker and in making everyone feel included. “yeah, fine.” joy agrees, and irene jumps again. “thank you, joy! you’re the best!” she reaches out to give her friend an embrace. “now, let’s go eat. i heard your stomach growl when i entered this room and you can’t study like that.”

//

joy feels her neck stiffen and her lower back go numb the longer the trip got. she hadn’t moved her head, her entire body for that matter and kept her look fixed with whatever outside the window was. was feeling parched and the back of her knees were getting itchy with the friction from irene’s carseat cover. she’s going to kill yeri.

the youngest devilishly proclaimed she called shotgun when irene and wendy picked them up from their apartment. there was really something that makes her act this mischievous whenever she’s with her bunny-like friend. sometimes, joy couldn’t keep up with how playful they get and she had to play the meditator whenever the three of them are together. she had joked about regretting introducing them to each other but they just laughed heartily and made faces at her.
 

yeri said she needed to sit by irene because she needed to choose the music playlist and that she was going to be their navigator for the trip, co