Han Geng was a man in his 30s and he was definitely not panicking about the talk with his friend about them almost having and kissing in a restroom. No, he was not.
And no matter how many times he ruined his hair with his hands, he didn‘t know what he was supposed to tell Heechul. Han Geng wasn‘t even sure why he wanted to hold him instead of his girlfriend or why he always gave in to Heechul when he kissed him. He had always been weak for the other but never in this regard and never to this extend.
The whole day on set consisted of him stealing glances at Heechul which resulted in his co-star Leixin giving him concerned and weird looks.
At the end of the day he probably never had been happier to finish work. After the director wished them all goodbye Han Geng rushed to Heechul. Even though he was afraid, he wouldn’t let the other man escape again to ignore him afterwards.
He grabbed the older man’s wrist to get his attention. “Let’s change clothes. Then we can go to my flat and order takeout and talk about everything.”
The Korean idol nodded and the went to their changing room.
Han Geng took a look at his phone. There were still the missed calls and unread messages from his girlfriend. He opened their chat and looked at them. He read the word that made him feel like he was unable to breathe from all the guilt trying to drown him.
Despite knowing better, he only send her that they’d have to meet up. Because he couldn’t do this to Xiaoxi any longer, no matter what the outcome of the conversation with Heechul this evening would be…
 

Han Geng’s manager brought them to his flat. He actually took the passenger side to not sit beside Heechul. The atmosphere was tense, and his manager gave him questioning glances. He only shrugged. His manager’s expression became skeptical. Maybe because Han Geng begged him to end his suffering with his looks. He really didn’t want to have this conversation when there would be so many questions, he himself wouldn’t know the answer to.
They spent the whole drive in silence and Han Geng didn‘t even want to look at his phone.
When they arrived at his flat, his manager looked like he wanted to kick them out of the car. Heechul and Han Geng thanked him and continued their silent walk until they were inside of Han Geng’s flat.
“Do you want something to drink?”
Heechul sighed, “I honestly feel like I’d need alcohol for this talk but at the same time I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
Han Geng nodded and got out some soft drinks before looking at his hyung. “Chinese? Korean? Or something else?”
“I don’t care, you decide.”
Han Geng shrugged and rolled his eyes. “Korean then. Let’s pick something.”
It took them 10 minutes to pick out some food and order it.
After that they were sitting on the couch, only listening to the clock’s ticking for a good minute. Heechul groaned. “Okay, talk now or after the food? Even though I don’t think I can sit through probably 15 minutes of silence until the food arrives. And I wouldn’t know what to talk about otherwise because things are already awkward as .”
The ticking noise of the clock was very present again.
“So…why did you almost sleep with me even though you have a girlfriend?”
Han Geng didn’t even realise the big sighed came from himself. “That’s a thing I don’t know.” He turned his whole body towards Heechul and looked him straight in the eyes. “I’ll be honest with you. Of course, I always miss all of you and you probably a bit more than the other guys because we’ve bonded more back then than I have ever bonded with any friend. But since then a lot time has passed and I don’t really think back to the time anymore. And then you were suddenly there for this movie. I was genuinely happy because I thought we could have a great time. I also wasn’t even so drunk, I guess? I don’t know why it happened. It just felt so good to hold you again.”
 

A tiny noise escaped Heechul’s throat. Did his dongsaeng just say that it felt good to hold him? Before he could ponder any longer on that thought Han Geng already continued his explanation.
“After that happened, I just tried to blame alcohol. But every time I met my girlfriend after that…it didn’t feel good to hold or to kiss her. I-“ Han Geng took a deep breath, “I just wanted to hold you again.”
“Hankyung…”
The Chinese star groaned and hid his face behind his hands. Then he sighed and put them down again. “ I know. This is ed up. I’ve never had a single romantic emotion for a man but suddenly you are there, and it feels like I’ve always felt that for you but at the same time it freaks me out because I’ve never experienced anything like this.”
Oh god. All his dreams were coming true. Jungsoo was right. This was his movie with a happy ending. He just couldn’t believe this was happening. This couldn’t be real.
Heechul wanted to lean over to kiss Han Geng, getting him to hold him just like he told Heechul.
But then he felt like he was choking when he remembered the scandal that would follow. The fact that Han Geng couldn’t come back to Korea with him and Heechul couldn’t stay in China.
How could his love to this man ever work out when they had to go separate ways before?
“Hankyung…I…”
“I know.”
He looked up and saw in Han Geng’s eyes the same hopelessness.
“I love you.”
It was so quiet all of the sudden.
What had he done? Why was he declaring his love when this was just pointless?
“I loved you when you were still in Super Junior. I would’ve never told you because there was no point in doing so. When you left it broke my heart but I also was so happy for you because I knew you would be so much more appreciated by the world if you did it on your own.”
Han Geng looked at him in shock.
“When I got the offer to work on this movie I was just happy. No hard feelings or any hidden love sickness. It probably would’ve stayed that way if we didn’t try to jump each other the moment we had some alone time.”
More silence followed and Heechul suppressed the urge to flee the room and the situation.
“I messaged Xiaoxi that we have to talk. No matter what happens today, I can’t lie to her or myself any longer.”
“You’re gonna break up with her?” Heechul felt awful for the happiness that started to bubble up inside of him. “Hankyung…I don’t think I can go back to Korea and act as if nothing happened. Back then…it was easier because I told myself that I was young and that you were just that pretty foreigner whom I had a crush on. But I’m older, this is not a crush anymore. But we both know how ed up this situation is.”
He glanced up at the other and nervously brushed away some imaginary dust on his trousers. “Jungsoo wants us to have a happy ending.”
“What?”
“He said…after this movie, he wants us to have a happy ending. I’d really like that.”
Han Geng reached out and took his hand in his own warm one. “I will break up with Xiaoxi. It’s the right thing to do. You know I won’t go back to Korea.”
The older man nodded, squeezed the other’s hand once and wanted to pull his hand back but Han Geng’s grip was strong.
His thumb tenderly Heechul’s skin, “But I think we know how to deal with long flights and missing each other, don’t we?”

He broke up with his girlfriend. She cried and he apologised over and over again. He explained to her that he didn’t just leave her because he had some fleeting crush on someone but that he fell in love with someone when he saw them after a long time again. Xiaoxi walked out on him after that and asked him not to contact her. A month later she called him and told him that she was happy for him and that she knew that he had genuinely liked her. He told her that she was a great woman and that he hoped she’d find a good man.

After that he booked a flight.
He messaged Heechul to pick him up the following day.
When he arrived, he searched for Heechul. The man he actually fell in love with.

“I already met some fans.” Heechul grinned at Han Geng after they had hugged. Obviously, everything else had to wait until they’d arrived home. “I bet they’re thirsty for some OT15 action.”
Han Geng couldn’t help but laugh. “Can’t blame them.”

Heechul took him to his flat and they barely passed the threshold when he hugged the Korean man again. He kissed him deeply and whispered against his lips, “I missed you. Let’s not wait that long next time.”
The other chuckled and caressed his cheeks before pressing their lips together again. “You do know I had to tell the others. Jungsoo forced me. And they expect to see you next week.” He rested his head on Han Geng’s schoulder. “Just all of his together for a bit.”