Author's Note: Trigger Warning for violence and language.

A few more weeks passed and Taeyeon’s ribs were finally healed enough that she could get up by herself and has even started to accompany Jessica on her nightly walks without much help, however, Taeyeon has grown to love it when Jessica loops her arm between hers as they walk on the beach together. At first, this skin-ship was initiated because Taeyeon was in pain, but now, Taeyeon loves the way Jessica’s warm body presses against hers. It is like Jessica is giving her more than just support.

“The nights are getting warmer.”

Jessica smiled and hummed, “It is nice.”

Taeyeon held onto Jessica’s arm harder as they approached the spot Jessica said she found her, “I want my memories to come back.”

“Just because you will something to happen, it doesn’t work that way.”

Taeyeon unlinked their arms and sat down in the sand, rubbing her hands in, “somewhere in this sand are my memories.”

Jessica gave Taeyeon a sad smile as she sat down next to her, “What are you going to do when you get them back? Does it change what is happening to you now?”

Taeyeon leaned her head onto Jessica’s shoulders, “No. I like where I am, but not knowing…it is like I lost a part of myself.”

Jessica looked out into the ocean, “I understand, but it was the opposite for me. Having these memories, having these regrets…it made me lose myself. I sit on this beach trying to find out who I have become.”

Taeyeon looked over and took Jessica’s hand in her own, “I know who you are.”

“You figured me out within a month?” Jessica giggled as she faced Taeyeon, “Who am I then?”

“You are Jessica Jung, an amazing author who has a pure heart.”

“My heart is not so pure…” Jessica sighed.

“Tell me then, who else would take someone in that they don’t know and care for them back to health?”

“Someone who saw a reflection of themself and found it easier to take care of that version than their own.”

Taeyeon watched as Jessica tried to fight back some tears, so she reached up and turned Jessica’s head towards hers, “You found yourself long ago, but you are too scared to accept that you are okay. That you are okay without her. That scares you doesn’t it?”

Jessica blinked as tears went down her face, “I feel like a monster.”

Taeyeon gently placed her forehead on Jessica’s, “That doesn’t make you a monster. That makes you human. In a world of love and loss, you have finally come to terms with your loss. You need to get back out there and accept the person you became.”

Jessica shook her head, “No. It is scary that my heart found someone else to warm my heart. I don’t deserve to love again.”

Taeyeon blinked a few times before she closed her eyes, surged forward, and sealed their lips together. Jessica reached up to cradle Taeyeon’s face as she pressed into the kiss harder. Jessica and Taeyeon shared a slow and passionate kiss until Taeyeon broke it to look at Jessica in the eyes and whisper, “Was that so scary?”

Jessica leaned forward and gave Taeyeon another peck on the lips, “A little…I mean, I didn’t know you liked girls.”

Taeyeon giggled, “I didn’t know either, but I do like you…a lot.”

Jessica leaned forward and placed her forehead on Taeyeon’s, “I like you a lot too.”

Closing the gap, Taeyeon pecked Jessica’s lips a few times, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Jessica asked cluelessly.

“It couldn’t have been easy for you to say that, let me in your heart. I am glad you are giving me a chance.” Taeyeon put her hands behind her head and laid back into the sand, “The stars are pretty.”

Jessica mirrored Taeyeon and laid back too, “What I like about the stars is knowing tomorrow, they will still be there.”

Taeyeon sighed, “Then I hope one day, I can be a star.” Turning to her side, Taeyeon smiled at Jessica, “That way I can always be there for you.”

Jessica was a realist so she gave Taeyeon a sad smile, “I wonder if you can say that after your memories return.”

Taeyeon reached over and caressed Jessica’s soft cheek, “I will keep saying that as long as my memories don’t disappear.”

Jessica was at a loss of words. Never before has someone made her heart beat this fast and slow at the same time. Not even her first love. Something about Taeyeon was different and she didn’t know what to do with these feelings other than hold onto it for that moment. To hold onto Taeyeon and kiss her until the sun came up the next morning.

The two girls must have fallen asleep outside because the sun kissed Jessica’s cheek as her eyes opened again. But soon after her eyes opened, she panicked. Where was Taeyeon? Quickly getting up Jessica turned around and around hoping to find Taeyeon but the girl wasn’t there.

Running back to the house, Jessica looked for Taeyeon but she wasn’t in there either. Not sure what to do, Jessica ran back to the beach. Running to the far side of the beach near the rocks, Jessica suddenly stopped and breathed in a sigh of relief. Sitting on the rocks, she finally saw Taeyeon.

Taeyeon saw the panic in Jessica’s eyes and got up immediately and hopped off the rocks, “What’s wrong?”

Jessica huffed and let out a dry laugh, “I thought I lost you, I woke up and you weren’t there.”

Taeyeon tried to hide her smile as she went up and hugged her, “I was here. Sorry to worry you like that. I woke up and went over here instead of waking you.”

Jessica hugged Taeyeon harder, “I am just glad you are safe. That is all.”

Taeyeon closed her eyes and enjoyed the warm embrace for a few minutes until she pulled away, “I am fine really.”

Jessica reached down and held Taeyeon’s hands in hers, “What were you thinking about anyway?”

Taeyeon bit her lip and thought for a second, “Just some stuff you were saying last night. The sunrise was really beautiful.” Reaching up, Taeyeon wiped the sand out of Jessica’s hair, “We should go inside and wash up. I think I have sand in my pants.”

Jessica giggled, “I think I do too.”

Taeyeon leaned over and kissed Jessica on the lips, “I am hungry too.”

Jessica couldn’t stop smiling that day after finding out Taeyeon shared the same feelings as her, but since that day, nothing seemed quite right with Taeyeon.

At first Jessica shrugged off Taeyeon’s unusual behavior. She noticed Taeyeon holding books like she was going to read them, but she would never turn the page. Her appetite also decreased and was known to skip meals saying she wasn’t feeling hungry, but Jessica always worried.

After a few days of this, Jessica walked up to Taeyeon and shut the book Taeyeon was “reading” in her face causing Taeyeon to look up in surprise, “I was reading that.”

Jessica sat down next to her, “No you stared at the same page for over 30 minutes.”

Taeyeon looked down at the book, “Oh.”

Jessica reached up and caressed Taeyeon’s face, “Something is bothering you.”

Taeyeon closed her eyes relishing in Jessica’s warm touch, “I had a few things to think about lately.”

“Taeyeon, talk to me. It seems like something more serious. Since you arrived, I never saw you space out like that before. You were usually happy and cracking jokes. I miss you always making fun of my books, distracting me from my writing and asking all these strange things from me. Now I find myself looking at you all the time worrying that something is wrong.” Jessica moved her hand down to Taeyeon’s, “Please talk to me.”

Chewing on her lips for a second, Taeyeon avoided Jessica’s gaze, “I lied to you a few days ago.”

Jessica assumed something happened then. That is when she saw her Taeyeon change.

Finally gaining the courage to look Jessica in the eyes, Taeyeon was on the brink of tears, “Part of my memory returned and I am scared.”

“Scared that you remember?”

Taeyeon shook her head, “I am scared of losing you.”

Jessica didn’t know what to do but let out a small laugh, “Why? I don’t think regaining your memories would make me like you less.”

Taeyeon sighed as she put the book in her hands down, “You promise?”

Jessica nodded, “I promise.”

And that is when Taeyeon recanted her story of how she ended up on the beach that one fateful day.

The sea air inflamed Taeyeon’s nostrils as she inhaled deeply. She tried to act like today was a normal day, but Taeyeon has regretted this trip for months.

A man came up to Taeyeon and sat next to her, “I told you getting out of the city was a good idea.”

Taeyeon straightened up and avoided the man’s gaze, “Y-yea.”

Not liking that Taeyeon wasn’t looking at him, he grabbed her face, “Look at me when I am talking to you.”

Her eyes darted around for a second as she nodded, “I am sorry.”

The man grunted as he let go of her face, “Even out here where we are all alone, you act like I don’t exist!”

Taeyeon quickly got up as if to appease the man, “I do…I just…”

The man gripped the wheel of the boat tightly, “You what? Miss your family? Miss your friends?” He laughed bitterly, “That is the whole reason we got away. They are a distraction. I want you to just spend time with me, only look at me. Why can’t you understand that??”

It was simple, Taeyeon didn’t love him anymore.

“Say something! Say anything!” The man yelled in frustration before he raised his hand and hit Taeyeon on the face, “Say something !”

On the brink of tears, Taeyeon said what he wanted to hear, “I want to be with you. I love you…”

The man scoffed as he walked away to get a beer from the cooler, “Don’t you ing lie to me.”

“I am not!” Taeyeon pleaded as she watched him down one beer and reached for another, “I am glad we took this trip. No distractions like you said.”

That seemed to calm the man down as he lounged on the seat, “Good girl, now come here.”

Taeyeon went over and entered his arms held out for her and cuddled up to him. These arms that used to be safe and warm have now covered her body in bruises. She didn’t know when it started exactly either. For the first year they were together, he was so caring and nice. It was like she finally met the perfect person for her. She would brag to her friends and family that he was such a great guy and he seemed to love them all. He also tricked them into loving him to.

Then sometime after that, he would come home upset. At first he would say it was from work, he was stressed and would drink beer here and there to relieve his daily push and pull. After a while, he would come home drunk and nearly pass out in front of the door.

Taeyeon worried and asked what was going on at work, but that would enrage him more so she quit asking. Then when he officially lost his job, Taeyeon tried her best to support them by taking on a night position to supplement their income. It was then that he started to hit her.

He got angry when she was out late, accusing her of seeing someone else when she was working, visiting her friends or her family. At first she would brush it off as him having a hard time with work, but every excuse lead to another slap, a punch, or one time he was so drunk that he push her down some of the apartment stairs causing her to go to the hospital.

It was getting so bad that she was going to move back with her parents, but like usual he begged for forgiveness, told her to stay, that he would kill himself if he can’t have her around. Like a fool, she stayed.

Eventually she had to tell her friends. She couldn’t hide the marks on her face, her arms or her legs when summer came around. The pleaded her to break up with him and she said she tried. No one was convinced.

The next summer came and Taeyeon was ready to leave. She had her bags packed, her parents knew she was coming and then he came in. He said things would be different. In a month they would be moving because he got a job in Jeju. That night she thought it over. He was so sweet when he had a job and maybe things could be different then, but as the days grew closer, Taeyeon was having doubts.

Her doubts were caused by just the smallest of his actions. She would come home from work and he seemed oddly content. Most days he would ask her why she was home late, who she saw, what she was doing but since the announcement of their Jeju trip, none of that. Then she noticed a few bags from the store and he said it was important to his job, for their new home or something to that effect, but he never wanted to show her what he bought. It all seemed strange.

Even with all those doubts, they packed up to go to Jeju. He rented a hotel room saying that their home wasn’t ready yet. He also wouldn’t tell her where his new workplace would be and he would show her when everything was finalized. Still it all seemed strange.

So even now, Taeyeon doesn’t know why she agreed to be on a boat with him like this. Why did she think he would change suddenly like that? She should have taken her bags that day and walked out like she planned. Deep down she knows this relationship is over, the loved had slowly died with each hit, after hit after hit. This man was now a monster to him. So why is she staying?

The crack of another beer caused her to break from her daze, “Don’t drink so fast, you might get a stomachache.”

“Now you want to control my drinking? Can’t I just sit here and relax for once?”

Taeyeon bit her lip, she knew she shouldn’t have said something but that set him off.

The man pushed her off him, “You .” He crushed the can in his hand and threw it off the boat. He was more than just mad. It was like all his previous frustrations came out at once.

“All you do is nag nag nag. And then you ing make fun of me to your friends and family that you have a successful career. That you have a bum boyfriend, but you don’t know what I do! What I do for you and how much I loved you! Then how do you repay me? I find your clothes packed up, out of our closet. Do you know how that made me feel? Just tell me, do you really love me? Huh? Have you ever loved me?”

This was her time. She could be honest, she could tell him that she used to love him. That she thought a while ago of marrying him but she can’t be with him anymore. She doesn’t love him. She doesn’t know why she stayed, she doesn’t know why she live with him, she doesn’t know why she is even on this boat with him. She can’t take it anymore.

“Say something!” And then he hit her and she fell down, “I said say something! Say you love me!” So he kicked her in the stomach, “You , don’t lie to me! I know you don’t.” Another kick, “You were going to ing leave me,” Another kick, “ .”

Taeyeon was in so much pain. She couldn’t say anything as bled, her ribs were probably broken again. She was helpless.

He leaned down to whisper in her ear, “Baby I won’t lie to you. If I can’t have you, then no one can.”

Taeyeon’s eyes were blurry but she could see it. He pulled a knife out of the bag. It was now or never. She could die from his hands or she could die by her own. And that was it, she used the last of her strength to roll off that boat into the warm water. She knew she wouldn’t survive this, but it wasn’t going to be him that killed her.

“To be honest, I am not sure how I ended up on this beach after that. I don’t know if I swam or the waves were strong or hell…a large turtle brought me to that beach. I sat on that rock a few nights ago wondering why I was allowed to survive. He is still out there. He could be looking for me right now and if he finds me, what would he do to you?” Taeyeon’s face was covered in tears. Stained with every bad memory that plagued her mind and filled with new worries for Jessica’s safety.

Jessica could only sit there and hold her. There was no way that words could cover up the pain Taeyeon was feeling nor could she give her reassurance that they would be safe. She didn’t know either. Maybe he thought Taeyeon was dead. Neither of them knew because they were so content in their own little world here at this house, isolated.

That night, pain was shared between both women. Throughout the night, they held each other, latching onto the comfort knowing they were safe, for now, in the arms of the one they truly loved.

The next morning no words were shared. No one commented on the other’s puffy red eyes. Neither asked if the other was okay because they knew the pain each other was going through. Instead, Jessica offered Taeyeon some tea and she said okay before they both went out to the porch, as usual, to enjoy the morning. This sliver of normalcy seemed to calm them both down, but this could only last so long before something had to be done. One can only live in denial for so long.

Taeyeon would eventually have to go to the police and she would eventually have to face that man again to testify against him. Taeyeon was also sure that her friends and family have believed the past few months she was dead, there was no way she could have them live with that heartbreak when here she was having a nice morning with a warm cup of tea in her hands. That wasn’t fair to them.

However, the temptation to sweep this all under the rug was great. She could let that monster believe she was dead and there was no reason to see him again. He wouldn’t one day get out of prison and seek her out knowing she was alive right now. Spending an indefinite time with Jessica in this hideaway was also very tempting. Here she felt safe and comfortable, something she wanted to cling onto forever.

It was something both women wanted to hold onto forever.

Jessica answered both of their questions that morning. When her tea dried up and she put her empty tea cup down next to Taeyeon’s she looked over into Taeyeon’s eyes and said, “You asked why you showed up on that beach that day.” Taeyeon nodded, “I also wondered why I ended up here after my events too, wondering why I existed. The answer is simple. You showed up on that beach that day so I could find you and you could find me. The only way we could both go forward in this world living was to take two broken pieces and make them whole again. That day you couldn’t have survived without me and that day, I couldn’t survive without you.”

Taeyeon reached over and held Jessica’s hand, “I believe you just described fate.”

From that day forward. The two woman started living. Again.

Jessica stretched and let out a huge sigh.

Coming up from behind, Taeyeon rubbed her back, “Finished?”

Jessica had a huge smile on her face as she nodded happily, “Finally.”

Taeyeon placed her hands on Jessica’s shoulders before sinking down onto her lap, “You completed this novel in record time. It took you like only a year!”

Jessica hummed as she leaned up to capture Taeyeon’s soft lips, “It is easier when written from the heart.”

Taeyeon held onto the kiss a little longer before looking over to the side giggling at the title, “Girl on the Beach.  Sounds ual.”

Jessica slapped Taeyeon’s shoulder gently, “You were the one that said I should write this story.”

“With a different title!” Taeyeon laughed as she got off Jessica’s lap to return to the kitchen.

Jessica giggled remembering Taeyeon makes all her book titles sound ualized. Something she would never want to change about this precious woman. Gently, she ran her fingers over the completed text on the paper, “It is finally over.” After a few seconds staring at her completed book she smiled sadly before getting up and going into the kitchen finding the most beautiful character in her current book she called Love.

The End