Tuesday, 21^st  November. Time flew fast, it is now the fourth week of November. Many pivotal things in Chaeyeon’s life happened in this month alone. She first exchanged contacts with someone, got to hang out with said someone, and even fell in love with said someone.

Chaeyeon isn’t experienced in romantic love at all. She never had any relationship with anyone, she never even experienced the feeling of romantic love before. This is the first time she has ever felt this way yet she is certain that this feeling is what people call love.

Every day, Chaeyeon wished what she is feeling is temporary and would fade away as time goes by. But instead, her love gets bigger every day. Her presence alone can make Chaeyeon’s heart race. Each second Chaeyeon spends with her, the deeper she falls in love.

The fact that she is completely in love with someone who she knows is going to die soon is just the worst. It makes her feel sick inside. Not only is there nothing she can do to get rid of her feelings, there is also nothing she can do to stop the inevitable. Every night she would think about this, and every night she would wet her pillows.

Now that she thinks about it, this might be the first time she’d ever felt so miserable and powerless. How she wishes there’s someone that could be by her side right now to listen to her.

Ah— something feels different after all.

Usually, when Chaeyeon looks so distracted and miserable like this, there’s always someone, a figure that would appear right in front of her, telling her to get a hold of herself.

It was only for an instant, but Chaeyeon suddenly felt like she misses her voice. The voice of someone who doesn’t keep up with anyone’s bull.

Miyawaki Sakura.

Her name echoed in Chaeyeon’s mind.

The thing with Eunbi exhausts her enough already. Yet now, she has another problem in mind. Everything comes at once, messing with her mind. Chaeyeon sighed and threw herself to the chair’s backrest. She ran her fingers through her hair as she pressed her forehead hard.

Chaeyeon looked over to the clock. It’s currently 7:30, yet Sakura is nowhere to be found. Sakura is punctual, being late isn’t like her at all.

While deep in thoughts, Chaeyeon thought about what happened the previous day.

“I’m completely in love with someone who’s going to die next month.”

Maybe she shouldn’t have said that after all. Too many things went wrong yesterday. Her emotions got the best of her and eventually broke down in front of Sakura. Not only that, she just had to mention about Eunbi’s time.

Understandable. Of course, Sakura would be mad. Who wouldn’t when their best friend is talked about like that?

Yesterday, Chaeyeon and Sakura didn’t talk at all. Today, Sakura didn’t show up to work.

Out of everything messed up she’s ever done in her life, Chaeyeon felt like this is the worst one yet.

 

#

 

The fourth week of November went by faster than usual. There wasn’t much that happened that week. Both Chaeyeon and Eunbi were busy with their own stores so they could only communicate online.

Chaeyeon took care of Chae Resto all by herself this past week. It’s been days now and there was still no sign of Sakura. All jobs were done by Chaeyeon. Thanks to this situation, Chaeyeon got to feel what it was like to be Sakura who does all of the job by herself.

Her work drains her energy dry. Every night, after closing her store, she would doze off almost immediately. In some days, when she still has some strength left, Chaeyeon still managed to send Eunbi a good night message. Other than those days, however, Chaeyeon was completely exhausted.

One week now and Chaeyeon still couldn’t get to Sakura. She tried calling her but the latter would reject her calls all the time. The messages Chaeyeon sent wasn’t even read. Sakura doesn’t hide the fact that she doesn’t want to talk for the moment.

Chaeyeon even thought of going to Sakura’s house until she remembered that she doesn’t have Sakura’s address. It got her thinking about her relationship with Sakura. Were they not close after all?

The date is 26^th November, Sunday.

Chaeyeon and Eunbi’s trip to the amusement park has been planned since last week when they went to Tomi-Tomiz. Chaeyeon was the one that asked Eunbi out this time. Cancelling last minute because of the current situation doesn’t feel like a choice at all for Chaeyeon.

The two girls promised to meet up by the amusement park’s entrance at one. Chaeyeon arrived thirty minutes early and now she’s waiting. She had bought two tickets when she arrived and she sure is glad she did. The line gets longer and longer as time passes by.

Every five minutes or so, Chaeyeon checks her watch for the time. She is very impatient.

But Chaeyeon knows Eunbi. She knows that Eunbi will come earlier than the promised time.

“Chaeyeon~~”

As expected, after around fifteen minutes of waiting, Chaeyeon finally heard that iconic bubbly voice of Eunbi’s. Chaeyeon looked towards the source of the voice and spotted Eunbi immediately. Chaeyeon’s frown immediately turned upside down and she waved at the sight of the older girl.

“Have you waited long?” Eunbi asked.

“Nope, I just got here fifteen minutes ago.”

Chaeyeon gave Eunbi the ticket she had bought and they walked inside the amusement park. As expected of the weekend, the amusement park was really crowded. Had they not held hands, they probably would get separated.

“So, what are we going to do now?”

Chaeyeon checked her watch and saw that they still have a quarter of the day to spend before sunset.

“Ohh~!” Eunbi suddenly exclaimed excitingly. Chaeyeon looked at her and she was pointing at a ride, “Let’s do that!”

Chaeyeon’s gaze followed Eunbi’s finger and she found herself looking up. It was a double shot ride. Shivers went down her spine as she looked at that at least 35 meters tall ride. A bunch of people were hanging on the top and as soon as they dropped down, shrieks and screams were heard. That sight alone made Chaeyeon’s heart jumped out of her chest.

“Uh, um…” Chaeyeon nervously stuttered, “Since we just got here why don’t we try something lighter?”

“Hm?” Eunbi smirked, “Oho, Lee Chaeyeon, could it be that you’re scared of extreme rides like those?”

“I’m not saying that!” Chaeyeon shouted as soon as Eunbi saw through her, “I mean, look at the line, it’s almost as long as Tomi-Tomiz’s.”

“Hahaha,” Eunbi laughed loudly, “I’m just teasing you, Chaeyeon. Come on, let’s find the bumper car or something.”

Eunbi grabbed Chaeyeon’s hand and led the way.

Time feels like it goes by slower whenever Chaeyeon is together with Eunbi. All of her troubles seem to fade away just by the sight of Eunbi’s smile. Every little thing Eunbi does makes Chaeyeon’s heart race.

This little feeling she keeps in her heart gets bigger and bigger every day. It’s not like she wants it to, but she can’t help it if Eunbi keeps on doing this kind of thing.

Is this another attempt to ? Why would Eunbi hold onto her hand tightly like she doesn’t want to lose her?

 “Ah, Kwon Eunbi… How could anyone blame me for falling for you now?”

Chaeyeon doubts nothing now. She is madly in love with Kwon Eunbi.

 

#

 

Eunbi and Chaeyeon spends the whole day like it was their last day on Earth. Each time they spot a ride they haven’t got on, they’d immediately go line up.

Poor Chaeyeon. She got dragged by Eunbi to every extreme rides the older girl saw. Chaeyeon tried so hard to refuse but Eunbi can be really convincing. Although Chaeyeon had much time to mentally prepare herself before a ride, it didn’t matter. In the end, Chaeyeon still screamed on top of her lungs each time the ride drops.

Eunbi wasn’t that much help. She was thoroughly enjoying all rides, including the extreme ones. Every time Chaeyeon looks like she was about to pass out, Eunbi only laughed and .

Chaeyeon probably made more painful memories than happy ones this day. After a long time, Chaeyeon was reminded of how scared she is of heights.

Currently, Chaeyeon looks like a walking zombie. She was completely out of it. If one were to look closely on top of the roller coaster, they could probably spot Chaeyeon’s soul still hanging there.

“Are you okay, Chaeyeon~” Eunbi exclaimed excitedly as she pat Chaeyeon’s back.

“Uh… yeah…. I think… so…”

Chaeyeon doesn’t even realise that she had been walking ahead of Eunbi. Her legs were moving without thinking. Truly, the walking dead.

Eunbi was amused by that sight. She was visibly trying to contain her laugh.

After a while of admiring Chaeyeon’s silliness, she finally walked fast to catch up with Chaeyeon. Immediately after she caught up, Eunbi linked her arm with Chaeyeon’s.

Chaeyeon, who suddenly felt Eunbi’s warmth by her side, snapped out of it and staggered.

“Woah, woah, watch out,” said Eunbi while holding tight onto Chaeyeon’s arm, preventing the latter from stumbling down.

“Ah…” Chaeyeon fixed her position and looked at Eunbi shyly, “I’m sorry.”

In response, Eunbi poked Chaeyeon with her free hand and said, “Don’t be sorry for being so weird. I like you that way.”

Eunbi’s smile changed from a teasing one to a caring one in a second.

Oh, how much Chaeyeon wishes her heart would just stop beating so hard. It’s really not something she can get used to at all.

“Okay, the next ride!” Eunbi shouted while pointing at a direction.

As soon as Chaeyeon heard Eunbi, shivers went down her spines. She was traumatized by what she had experienced this whole day. More than this, she probably would really pass out

“Wait, Eunbi… maybe we should take a break…” Chaeyeon said nervously in attempt to save herself.

“Eh~? I thought you said that you would do it with me.”

Chaeyeon’s expression suddenly softened. She averted her gaze from Eunbi to the space she was pointing at.

A big ferris wheel, spinning slowly in front of the orange sky.

“Ah… it’s time,” Chaeyeon formed a smile as she realised. It felt like her soul and body finally merged into one.  

Truly, it’s just as people say. You wouldn’t feel time flying when you’re with the person you love.

This whole day was full of suffering. But when Chaeyeon looked at Eunbi’s smile, suddenly she felt that it was all worth it.

“Let’s go.”

Chaeyeon unlinked her arm from Eunbi’s. This time, it is her turn to hold Eunbi’s hand. She held onto it tight, without any intention of letting go any time soon.

Eunbi smiled and followed Chaeyeon’s lead.

 

#

 

“Watch your step!”

After a while of lining up, it is finally Eunbi and Chaeyeon’s turn to get into a cabin. Eunbi got in first while holding onto Chaeyeon’s hand to make sure they don’t get separated.

Unlike Eunbi who got in without any problem, Chaeyeon hesitated since the ferris wheel is moving as she tried to get in. No matter how much she wants to look cool in front of Eunbi, she can’t get rid of her fear after all.

Eunbi snickered, then offered Chaeyeon her other hand to hold onto, “Come here, I’ll help you.”

Chaeyeon, now holding both of Eunbi’s hands, finally got into the cabin after Eunbi practically pulled her up. Before the wheel got too far, she needs to make sure both of them are inside already.

The cabin goes up slowly. All noises from the crowds slowly fades away. The higher they went, the quieter it became. Unless either Eunbi or Chaeyeon says anything, their whole trip up would be in silence.

Chaeyeon sat still, looking straight at Eunbi. She didn’t dare to look down because she is, after all, afraid of heights. Even right now, she can’t stop shaking her legs and her lips. She tried to convince herself that the wheel has been spinning all day without any accidents so she shouldn’t be that scared.

On the other hand, Eunbi sat quietly while looking out of the glass window. The view doesn’t change much but she was entertained by the still beauty of nature. The crowds began to resemble a colony of ants gathering around. Trees became bushes, buildings became blocks.  

“Woah…” unintentionally, Eunbi let out a voice of excitement. She was completely in awe.

From Eunbi’s reaction, Chaeyeon could tell that they were moving higher and higher. In no time, they will reach the top.

Suddenly, the wheel stopped spinning.

Just as Chaeyeon began to hold her head high, she was basked in the sun’s orange light that got through the glass window. Slowly, Chaeyeon turned her head and looked out the window.

There couldn’t be a better timing than this. They stopped just right, at the wheel’s highest point.

The sun was slowly sinking behind the horizon while leaving a ray of orange, almost tangerine light. All room touched by the light became warm. White clouds that were floating around began to lose its colour as the light began to fade. Stars become visible, even though night hasn’t approached yet. It was as if the day was bidding goodbye to them.

Watching from the top, both Chaeyeon and Eunbi got to watch the sun until its final moments. Truly, it was a magnificent view.

So beautiful, yet for some reason, so sad.

Chaeyeon turned her head away from the window. She doesn’t know why, but her eyes suddenly became misty. Another second, she may actually break down.

Now, Chaeyeon’s eyes are on Eunbi. The older girl was leaning on the window frame, looking outside and admiring the view. She had been doing that for a while now, but she doesn’t look like she’s bored at all. She put on a very soft smile. One that rivals the touch of the evening sun.

Right now, Chaeyeon is looking at Eunbi’s most beautiful state.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Eunbi asked without wavering her gaze from the sun.

Chaeyeon, who was still looking at Eunbi, paused for a moment, then whispered slowly, “Yeah…”

Eunbi and Chaeyeon were both looking at different views, but Chaeyeon’s answer works nonetheless.

“It’s ironic…” Eunbi continued.

“What is?”

“Things look the most beautiful at its final moments, that is.”

At that moment, Chaeyeon felt a sharp pain straight into her chest. She knows that Eunbi was talking about the sunset, but still…

Chaeyeon smiled bitterly, “Yeah, she does.”

“That’s why we should cherish that little time, right,” she added.

Eunbi slowly turned her body. For the first time in their ride, Eunbi and Chaeyeon’s eyes finally met. Both of them smiled at each other. Nothing much was said, but a lot was felt.

“Thank you for doing this with me.”

“Hm.”

“Right now, I’m really, really happy. I feel like I could fly.”

“Hm.”

Chaeyeon has now reached to the point where preparing for that day sounds utterly useless. Because in the end, no matter how much she prepared herself, nothing will able her to let go of Eunbi.

 

#

 

That night the sky was clear. Countless stars decorated the silent sky and the street lights illuminate the dark streets.

It got dark earlier than Chaeyeon and Eunbi predicted. Although, it wasn’t that surprising considering that they went two rounds on the ferris wheel. On the second round, they talked more while at the same time admiring the view.

When they realised that it was dark already, they immediately went out of the amusement park. Today, Chaeyeon drove herself to the park while Eunbi took a public transport. So, Chaeyeon offered Eunbi a lift. She may be using this as an excuse to spend more time with Eunbi, but as long as both of them are okay with it, might as well take the opportunity.

They were driving halfway to Eunbi’s house when suddenly Eunbi stopped Chaeyeon in the middle of the road.

“Chaeyeon, stop here for a bit.”

The younger girl didn’t even question and immediately pulled the brakes. After they completely stopped, Eunbi stepped out of the car without saying anything.

Chaeyeon watched from inside the car as Eunbi crossed the street towards what seemed like an ice cream shop. What a weird location for an ice cream shop, really.

Kwon Eunbi looks so small from afar. The girl even had to stand on her toes to meet eye-to-eye with the employee behind the glass counter. Chaeyeon looked like she wants to pocket Eunbi and keep her safe forever.

When Eunbi turned her back, Chaeyeon saw that she was holding two cups of ice cream with both of her hands. She ran across the street as soon as she saw the empty street.

Eunbi realised that she couldn’t open the door with both of her hands occupied. She bended down and looked at Chaeyeon. Chaeyeon stopped freezing like an idiot and quickly opened the door from inside.

“Ice cream in Winter? Are you sure?” asked Chaeyeon.

“Here, this is for you~” Eunbi ignored Chaeyeon as she gave the vanilla ice cream to her.

“Thanks,” Chaeyeon accepted, “You didn’t have to, though.”

“Oh, I didn’t have to. But I want to, so stop talking and start eating!” Eunbi scolded the younger girl as she took a spoon of ice cream and shoved it down . She looked so satisfied with the flavour.

Chaeyeon ate her share quietly. She’s the type to enjoy food without making it obvious, polar opposites to Eunbi.

This wasn’t planned at all, but here they are now, in the middle of the streets at night, eating ice cream in a car.

Both of them thought that this is an appropriate to their date.

“It would’ve been great if Sakura could join us,” said Eunbi suddenly, breaking the silence.

Chaeyeon’s whole body jerked at that. She almost choked on her ice cream.

“I tried to ask her to come with us today, but she just wouldn’t pick up her phone. I even thought of going to her house, but I only have her old address. I wonder if something happened…” she added, this time with a concerning tone.

“Eh—? You too?”

Chaeyeon was surprised when she heard that. She didn’t expect that Eunbi had been getting the silent treatment this whole week too.

“Too?”

The latter looked surprised as well. Now, the two girls that had been ignored by Sakura this whole week exchanged eye contacts.

“Uh,” Chaeyeon averted her eye and scratched the back of her head, “I mean, something happened… I think. Sakura hasn’t come to work for a whole week now.”

“Huh—?" Eunbi exclaimed, visibly shocked, “The whole week? Oh no, did something happen?”

Now that the conversation got to this point, the guilt came back and filled Chaeyeon. She stayed quiet, but everything showed on her face. Her lips formed a frown and her eyes looked away from Eunbi.

Eunbi was aware of that. She guessed that Chaeyeon had something to do with the situation, but didn’t want to explicitly address it since Chaeyeon was visibly uncomfortable.

“Did something… happen?” Eunbi repeated her question, this time in a softer tone while looking at Chaeyeon’s direction.

Chaeyeon looked so disappointed in herself. She pursed her lips and scrunched her forehead.

“Maybe. I don’t know…” she answered short.

Eunbi didn’t respond.

Chaeyeon still couldn’t face Eunbi, but for some reason, she felt like she owes Eunbi an explanation.

“I may have… said something that made her angry,” Chaeyeon added.

“Are you guys having a fight?”

“I wouldn’t call it a fight but… yeah…”

Chaeyeon gave up explaining. She herself doesn’t know exactly what is happening between her and Sakura.

“Um, then, an argument?”

The latter girl nodded.

“Eh~”

Eunbi looked the other way, ate another spoon of ice cream without saying anything.

Chaeyeon took a peek and Eunbi looked like she was deep in thought.

“That’s not like Sakura,” said Eunbi, short.

“What?”

“At least, that’s not the Sakura I know.”

“…”

“The Sakura I know wouldn’t cut off communications with people she’s arguing with,” Eunbi added.

Eunbi, who usually talks bubbly, now speaks with a serious tone. Even her expression was straight. When it comes to her best friend, she can be very serious.

“You know,” Eunbi turned to Chaeyeon and startled her, “I used to argue a lot with Sakura back in our school days. Not even once did she ever ignore my messages or calls. In fact, quite the opposite, she was the one that reached out to me.”

“Uh… I see—”

“She shouldn’t be able to change that much. If you two are in the middle of an argument, Sakura would be the first one to fix the situation. No, no… There must be something else that drives her this way.”

“…”

Chaeyeon doesn’t even know how to respond to the information she received. The only thing in her mind was the fact that she never knew Sakura that well after all. It adds to her guilt.

“Oh, unless—” Eunbi suddenly spoke again.

“Unless?”

Eunbi relaxed her body before continuing, “I guess there’s one thing that would make her chicken out like this.”

“What is it?”

“Sakura is a strong-willed person you know. But really, that only applies to things she is confident in.”

Chaeyeon didn’t seem to understand.

After a long pause, Eunbi added, “She can be really insecure. One thought of failure and she would drop everything, no matter what anyone says. With only one scenario of failure, she wouldn’t even bother trying. Chickening out, if I may say.”

“Ah…”

“I wonder if something like that happened?”

Eunbi sounded like she was talking to herself. It’s Sakura she’s talking about after all. Her eyes were full of worry.

Both Eunbi and Chaeyeon fell deep into their own thoughts. Sakura isn’t a nobody two these two girls. She is someone who both of them hold dearly. Concerned is an understatement to describe their feelings.

“Let’s go home now.”

Chaeyeon put her half-finished ice cream down and the engine. While Eunbi ate silently beside her.

They began driving home. The whole ride home was filled with silence.

“I should try contacting her again,” Chaeyeon thought to herself all the way home.

 

#