New York, USA

Taeyeon yawns and stretches her arms in the air as soon as she steps onto the footpath. She sets off down the street, adrenaline rushing through her body as she re-familiarises herself with the sound of busy New York traffic and pedestrians heading to work at six in the morning.

Taeyeon finds herself wandering along a familiar road she always walks whenever she’s in Lower Manhattan. She stops and blinks, frowning when her eyes fall on the shop on the opposite side of the road. Taeyeon squints to look inside the empty store, sighing when there are no signs of clothing, accessories or mannequins on display.

It’s a complete contrast to the last few times she’s been in this area where the black letters of ‘Blanc & Eclare’ greets passersby.

Taeyeon turns her head away and sets off again. A wide beam appears on her face when she recognises a café the girls had dragged her to years ago when they were on tour in New York, and one that she still frequents whenever she visits the area.

Taeyeon steps inside the quaint coffee shop, breathing a sigh of relief when the scent of roasted coffee beans hits her. She walks over to join the queue of people waiting to order their morning coffee, her eyes taking a glimpse at the menu board over before settling on an iced americano (why should she deviate away from her favourite drink?)

Taeyeon raises her eyebrows when she spots a brunette sitting in a corner tucked away in the coffee shop. There’s something familiar about this person, like she’s seen this woman many times in the past. She bites her lip as she tries to pinpoint who exactly is this person, almost missing the barista’s question about how her day is going. She quickly mouths off a reply, her gaze never leaving the woman who carefully takes a sip of her cup of coffee.

The brunette brushes her hair over her shoulder, allowing Taeyeon to have a good look at the woman’s side features.

Jessica.

The realisation dawns on Taeyeon and she giggles, paying for her coffee and quickly making her way over across the floor to Jessica. She smiles when she recognises the song playing through the café’s speakers and bends down to whisper softly in Jessica’s ear in time with the song.

If we lay, let the day just pass us by
I might get to too much talking
I might have to tell you something

She smirks when Jessica jumps in her seat and glances over her shoulder, her eyes bulging in surprise at Taeyeon’s sudden appearance in New York of all places.

“Taeyeon?” Jessica says, slack-jawed as Taeyeon leans her arm on the table and offers her a mischievous grin and a raised eyebrow as she takes a sip of her drink through her straw.

“Hi. What are you doing here so early in the morning?”

“I wanted coffee! Also, that's very hypocritical of you. You’re awake at this time too!”

Taeyeon laughs, ignoring the pain in her arm when Jessica playfully pinches her. She settles down on the stool beside her and leans her head on her palm as her other hand reaches forward to poke Jessica’s cheeks.

“If I remember correctly, I was the one who woke up early and had to kick you out of bed to get ready on time.”

Jessica grins sheepishly and scratches the back of her neck out of embarrassment, a pink hue forming on her cheeks as she averts her gaze.

Cute.

They don’t exchange many words after that.

(They don’t have to, not when they fall into a naturally comfortable silence and allow the atmosphere to envelope them.)

Taeyeon blinks when Jessica falls into step beside her as they cross the road to the other side.

“I don’t think I asked you but what are you doing here in SoHo?”

Jessica giggles at the question, her arm rubbing against Taeyeon’s as she turns her head to look at her.

“I’m reopening my flagship store here in Manhattan so I need to oversee its process. It’s been...a challenge but I hope we open up soon.”

“Ah, it’s a couple of streets away from here, right? Near the subway on Prince Street?” Taeyeon blurts out before immediately realising her mistake and clamping shut.

Jessica arches her eyebrows in half-amusement, half-astonishment as she tilts her head to the side and looks at her with curious eyes. Taeyeon coughs, her eyes dancing around the area as she tries to avoid Jessica’s piercing gaze.

She can feel her cheeks burn and grow redder by the second as she continues to evade Jessica’s eyes.

“I’m surprised you know where it’s located,” Jessica says, her lips curling into a smirk as Taeyeon chokes and nervously coughs again.

“My my, Taeyeon. Keeping up with my activities, are you? First you surprise me with your knowledge about my sunglasses collection in London and now you’re telling me you know where my flagship store is situated in SoHo. I’m very impressed with your ability to memorise such details.”

Taeyeon scrunches her nose and bites her lip.

“I shouldn’t have said anything in the first place,” She says, eliciting a bubbly laugh from Jessica who links her arm around Taeyeon’s and drags her along the street.

She hears Jessica mumble the word ‘cute’ under her breath. She shouldn’t hang onto such a compliment and it really shouldn’t make her heart beat faster.

Except it does.

They make plans for dinner; Jessica apologises profusely as she hurries away to several meetings regarding her business. Taeyeon shakes her head as Jessica disappears in a taxi and waves through the back window of the car.

When Jessica finally disappears from her sight, she drops her shoulders and releases a breath she didn’t realise she was holding onto. She checks the time on her wristwatch and runs a hand through her hair as she chews her bottom lip.

The ten hours apart should give her some time to think about her feelings; how they’ve intensified over the course of a few months ever since they met each other again in Nice. It’s these emotions Taeyeon’s been holding onto for the past few years, never forgotten but just simply tucked away and buried in the back of her mind until she thinks about them again. It’s these uncontrollable feelings that have resurfaced over time, ones that she has to acknowledge but cannot tell – not when they keep meeting up in the same places at the same time.

Not when she knows they’ll never happen in the first place.

Taeyeon sighs and rotates on her feet to head off in the opposite direction down the street.

Even though they’re meeting up several hours later, Taeyeon finds herself counting down the seconds until she sees Jessica again.

Taeyeon steps out of the subway and makes her way up the steps to re-enter the streets when her phone vibrates in her pocket. She reaches inside and pulls out the device, a grin forming on her face when she recognises the caller ID. She quickly connects her Airpods to her iPhone and accepts the phone call.

“Hi Fany,” Taeyeon says, giggling as she stops and leans against the wall.

“Hi Taetae! I heard from Sooyoung that you’re in New York. It definitely sounds like it. It’s so loud.”

Taeyeon shakes her head when she can feel Tiffany’s energy through her voice even though they’re not physically together.

“I am. I’m surprised you can tell where I am.”

Tiffany laughs, her silvery voice bright and clear as she tries to speak and giggles to herself.

“I miss you! Come visit me in LA!”

“I would if I wanted to but I don’t want to,” Taeyeon teases. She doesn’t even have to ask – she knows Tiffany’s rolling her eyes at her witty remark.

“Ever the charming person, aren’t you Taeyeon?”

“You really want to swear right now, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. But that’s not what I called you about,” Tiffany says, any hints of a playful tone disappearing into a more serious voice.

“What do you want to talk to me about?”

“How is it going with her?” Tiffany says, her voice careful and mindful as she touches on a topic Taeyeon usually tries to push to the back of her mind.

“Who?” Taeyeon says innocently, pretending to be unaware of who Tiffany is alluding to.

Tiffany sighs into the phone and clicks her tongue.

“Taeyeon, you know exactly who I’m referring to. I don’t even have to say her name anymore.”

Taeyeon exhales and purses her lips as she ponders whether to lie to Tiffany – not that she can, her best friend can see or hear right through her – or to tell her the truth. She decides to make the decision easier for herself and get it over and done with.

“She’s here in New York,” Taeyeon says quietly after a couple of seconds of silence, wincing when Tiffany shouts into the receiver.

“What? You didn’t tell me that!”

“I just found out an hour ago.”

“You didn’t tell me that!”

“Fany,” Taeyeon says, laughing when she can hear Tiffany squeal excitedly and jump around the room. She waits for her best friend to calm down from her excitement, smiling softly when Tiffany takes a couple of deep breaths and speaks into the phone again.

“Are you okay?” Tiffany asks gently and hesitatingly, as if afraid Taeyeon would yell at her for asking such a personal question.

Not how did it go?

Not will you be meeting up later?

But are you okay?

Taeyeon pauses and breathes deeply. Tiffany’s always been the mindful one in the group.

“I’m fine,” Taeyeon says after a while, knowing Tiffany’s never going to be convinced with such a short answer that even she doesn’t believe in. She’s proven correct when Tiffany clicks her tongue again and sighs into the receiver. She frowns when Tiffany doesn’t speak up but waits for her, her eyebrows rising in surprise when Tiffany catches her off guard.

“I’m only a phone call or text message away,” Tiffany says softly, her tone resolute and reassuring.

It makes Taeyeon smile knowing how supportive of a friend Tiffany is, has been for many years ever since they were trainees.

“Thank you, Fany,” Taeyeon replies, her chest rising and falling as she stares at the city and its people around her.

Taeyeon raises her hand and waves, laughing when Jessica runs towards her and throws her arms around her neck. Taeyeon pats her back, holding back her giggles when Jessica enthusiastically pulls her along and they find themselves wandering around a public garden.

Taeyeon almost jumps when Jessica’s nails dig into her arm as she bounces on her feet in excitement and points towards a painted piano in the middle of the park.

“Taeyeon!” Jessica says excitedly, pulling Taeyeon along the walkway. She spins around and flashes Taeyeon a wide beam as she rocks back and forth on her feet, her energy radiating out of her as she tugs on Taeyeon’s hands.

“What are you thinking?” Taeyeon asks, raising an eyebrow when Jessica smirks and releases her hand. She plops down on the piano stool and cracks her knuckles. She wriggles her fingers and softly presses down on the piano keys.

“Duet with me,” Jessica says, a wide grin appearing on her face when she spots an elderly couple dancing with each other under the street lamps. She looks back at Taeyeon expectantly, who leans against the side of the piano and contemplates her with a fond smile on her face.

“Shall we?”

Jessica nods, her nimble fingers gliding across the piano as she begins to play a familiar tune. Taeyeon giggles softly and nods approvingly at Jessica’s song choice.

A fitting situation for tonight.

Lovely, don’t you ever change
Keep that breathless charm
Won’t you please arrange it?
‘Cause I love you
And just the way you look tonight

Taeyeon beams widely when the couple continue to dance and twirl under each other’s arms. When Jessica presses the final piano key, she joins the rest of the crowd in applauding them on a beautiful performance.

Taeyeon’s eyes fall on Jessica, who drops her hands onto her lap and stares at Taeyeon.

Unlike everyone else who have their cellphones held out in front of them to take a video of the dancing couple or Taeyeon singing or Jessica playing the piano, Jessica watches Taeyeon’s performance with a broad grin on her face.

Taeyeon’s chest rises and falls when Jessica regards her with that smile of hers she always gives her whenever she witnesses Taeyeon sing.

It’s that same smile she wore when they were still trainees – when they first discovered they’d be singing together, when they finally nailed their assigned songs during singing practice, when they discovered they’d be debuting together in Girls’ Generation.

Taeyeon’s mouth curves into a soft smile of her own as Jessica holds her gaze and never looks away from her.

And just like the song, Taeyeon hopes Jessica will never ever change.

When Jessica places her utensils down on the table and wipes her lips with her napkin, Taeyeon knows she means business.

“I think you should consider having a jazz comeback or perform in a musical again. The last time you did that was ten years ago,” Jessica says seriously, although her eyes carry a different meaning as she looks at Taeyeon.

Taeyeon laughs as she takes a couple of sips of water and gently places her glass down beside her plate.

“I sang the Korean version of Into the Unknown. I’m happy with that in my discography.”

Jessica crosses her arms in front of her chest and leans forward in her chair.

“Frozen II is not a musical.”

“But it is a musical film,” Taeyeon replies, wiggling her eyebrows when Jessica sighs in defeat.

“Fine, you win that one,” She says, rolling her eyes when Taeyeon smirks and sticks her tongue out in victory. She quickly hands the waiter her card, tilting her head to the side in glee when Taeyeon’s eyes widen in astonishment as her hand hovers above her purse.

“You’re not quick enough,” Jessica says, grinning smugly when Taeyeon pouts and slumps her shoulders. She nods when the waiter returns her card and stands up to gather her belongings.

“Are you done singing for the night?”

Taeyeon pauses mid-movement of sliding her coat on and arches her eyebrows when Jessica walks out of the restaurant.

“What do you have in mind?” Taeyeon says, readjusting her jacket as she steps onto the footpath.

Jessica winks over her shoulder as she pulls Taeyeon away from the restaurant.

“You’ll see,” She says, glimpsing at Taeyeon over her shoulder and grinning widely when Taeyeon shakes her head but follows after her.

Taeyeon stands speechless as Jessica spins around on her feet and flashes her a proud grin as she holds the door open for her.

“Well?” Jessica says, throwing her head back to laugh when Taeyeon sighs and pushes her way into the karaoke room.

“You never cease to amaze me, Miss Jung,” Taeyeon teases as she shrugs off her coat and drapes it on the sofa.

Jessica snickers as she closes the door and starts up the karaoke system.

“Thank you for the compliment, Miss Kim,” She replies, laughing when Taeyeon reaches over to flick her arm. She grabs the two sets of microphones and passes one to Taeyeon, biting her lip as she flicks through the song selection playlist loaded on the television screen.

“What singing mood are you in tonight? And please don’t say ballads because Sooyoung told me you should have your own room.”

“Damn it,” Taeyeon says, scrunching up her nose in protest.

Jessica laughs and pats her knee in consolation as she finally chooses a song for them to sing together.

They’re a bottle of wine or two into karaoke – Taeyeon’s not sure anymore – when Jessica changes the song playlist to an 80’s pop inspired song. She winks at Taeyeon as she sings the first verse, beaming widely when Taeyeon’s voice blends with hers as they sing the chorus.

It might be Taeyeon’s imagination but she thinks she can make out the small quirk in Jessica’s lips as she observes her singing the next verse.

Hours turn to minutes
Lost when I’m looking in your eyes
This could be heaven
There’s nothing better, take me to paradise

Taeyeon jumps on the sofa, giggling when Jessica joins her as they sing their hearts out to the song. They clap to the musical beat as they maintain eye contact, the colourful strobe lights falling on different parts of their face. Taeyeon smiles as Jessica sways her body from side to side, her hair becoming messy as they continue to jump up and down while singing together.

They collapse onto the sofa when the song is finally over, their chests heaving up and down as the television screen fades to black and the karaoke system calculates their duet score.

Taeyeon studies Jessica’s face, her lips curling into a tender smile when Jessica’s eyes light up in delight at the score appearing on the screen. Jessica grabs her hand and shakes it vigorously while pointing a finger at the television in front of them.

“We got a perfect score!” Jessica says animatedly, turning to face Taeyeon as her fingers slide down to Taeyeon’s hand. parts when Taeyeon’s warm smile never leaves her face as she reaches over to brush her hair to the side.

Maybe it’s the way the neon strobe lights fall on Jessica, how it lights up her face and makes her glow even brighter in the dark. Perhaps it’s the way Jessica’s eyes flicker around the room as she searches for something, her eyes radiating with a certain warmness Taeyeon likes to call her Jessica charm. It could be the way Jessica’s Tiffany & Co necklace – the one Taeyeon gifted her in London – glints in the dark as the colourful lights reflect off the sterling silver jewellery.

Maybe it’s the way Jessica is drunk – they’re both drunk – but she gives her that damned adorable smile of hers as she looks at Taeyeon underneath the lights.

Like she’s the only thing in the world that means something.

Taeyeon finds herself leaning in, swallowing deeply when Jessica’s eyes make eye contact with her. Her heart pounds in anticipation when Jessica’s gaze falls on her wine stained lips before searching her face for something, anything that would stop them doing something they might regret later.

Her eyes flutter closed when Jessica’s hands touch her face and pull her in as she meets her halfway.

Taeyeon almost laughs to herself at the similarities of their current situation and the circumstances they were previously a part of in Las Vegas a few months ago. They stumble into Taeyeon’s room (she’s much closer in proximity compared to where Jessica’s staying), their legs wobbling as Taeyeon pushes the door closed and navigates her way through the dimly lit room.

Taeyeon helps Jessica sit on the sofa, gasping when Jessica tugs on her fingers and pulls her down to sit beside her. She holds her breath when she feels Jessica’s fingers slide into her hair and lightly scratch her scalp as she gives her a drunken smile.

“Do you have any regrets being in the same space as me?” Jessica says quietly, hiccuping at the end of her question and laughing at her actions.

Taeyeon shakes her head as she passes Jessica a glass of water, helping her bring the glass to her lips. Jessica quickly downs the drink – a testament to how parched she is – and hiccups again. Taeyeon places the empty glass on the table and looks at Jessica, who considers her with an unreadable expression.

“Never,” Taeyeon answers, her eyes flickering down to the silver necklace adorning Jessica’s neck.

Her Tiffany & Co necklace.

Jessica closes her eyes and beams widely as her fingers touch Taeyeon’s arm.

“I want to sing again,” She admits gently, her fingers sliding down and intertwining with Taeyeon’s. Taeyeon shivers when Jessica’s cold fingers curl with her warm ones and she stares down at their hands before glancing up at Jessica.

“Sing for me.”

Jessica flashes her a toothy smile as she leans forward and into Taeyeon.

“Can you choose a song for me?”

Taeyeon furrows her eyebrows at the unexpected question and takes her time to think it over.

“Any song?”

Jessica opens her eyes and nods. She removes her fingers from Taeyeon’s hands and folds her arms in front of her chest as she looks at Taeyeon with a small smile.

“Whatever you want me to sing, Taeyeon.”

Taeyeon breathes heavily as she rises from the sofa and steps inside her bedroom. Her fingers fumble for her guitar case as she lifts the instrument from her case and carries it back to Jessica, who smiles fondly and pats the space beside her.

Taeyeon rests the guitar across her lap, chewing on her lip as she racks her brain for a song – any song that would suffice.

It’s when Jessica softly hums a random melody beside her that the perfect song pops up in her mind. She repositions the guitar so it rests comfortably on her lap and begins to slowly strum the strings.

Jessica offers her a confused smile before it settles into one of delight once she recognises the melody of the song. Taeyeon observes Jessica’s eyes flutter closed as her upper body gently sways from side to side in her seat and her soft voice fills the air.

So I love you
Oh I love you
처음 본 순간부터 늘 그래 왔다고
닫혀있던 멈춰있던
내 맘을 열어 준 사람이 너라고
Love you*

Taeyeon slides into her bed sheets and checks any unread notifications on her phone. She prepares an Instagram post when her fingers hover over the photos she and Jessica took today (and the ones she took of her in secret when she wasn’t looking). She smiles as she studies the wide grin on Jessica’s face.

Oh how she wishes she is the cause of that smile every day.

Taeyeon touches her lip, the taste of wine still faintly there. She can still feel the way Jessica’s lips pressed up against hers as they kissed under the neon lights.

Taeyeon places her phone down on the bedside table to be charged.

Taeyeon closes her eyes and allows her tired body to will her to sleep.

She dreams of what could be and what should be.

At least in her dreams, she won’t lose what she’s never had in the first place.

They don’t meet again for another few days, with Jessica pulled away for more meetings and photoshoots while Taeyeon sets her sights on exploring the city of New York again. They exchange a few text messages here and there, a silly smile appearing on Taeyeon’s face whenever Jessica replies with another long paragraph about how her day is going.

The kiss remains unspoken between them but Taeyeon understands.

Or at least she tries to.

It’s not easy to move on.

It never was.

Her vacation sadly comes to an end on a Saturday and Taeyeon can’t help but feel a hollowness in her heart as the taxi takes her to the airport. Taeyeon navigates her way through the terminal, stopping when her gaze falls on a particular woman with her side profile showing to her.

Taeyeon furrows her eyebrows as she recognises the figure sitting to the side in the waiting area. She approaches the stranger and taps their shoulder, a small smile appearing on her face when the woman glances up from her phone.

“Jessica?”

“Hey,” Jessica says, putting her phone inside her jacket and patting the seat beside her. Taeyeon sits down, smiling when Jessica removes her Airpods from her ears.

“What are you still doing here? I thought you left already. You said your flight was on a Friday which was yesterday.”

Jessica laughs and curls a finger in her hair.

“I slept in so I couldn’t be bothered running after the plane,” She jokes, laughing brightly when Taeyeon dramatically rolls her eyes and sighs. She reaches over and gently places her hand on Taeyeon’s knee, squeezing it when Taeyeon raises her eyebrows in confusion.

“You’re flying back alone. I thought you needed some company.”

Taeyeon nervously coughs and shyly shifts her gaze away from Jessica. She takes a deep breath to control her nerves and finally glances back at the woman beside her.

“You didn’t have to stay back for me,” Taeyeon says quietly.

Jessica smiles, her eyes gleaming with mirth as she reaches for Taeyeon’s hand.

Jessica doesn’t have to say much – she doesn’t have to say anything at all – but the three words that leave make Taeyeon’s heart skip a beat as she softly smiles at her.

“I want to.”

Jessica looks at Taeyeon and shyly turns her head away as she stares up at the departure board, a faint pink blush appearing on her cheeks when she catches Taeyeon staring at her through the corners of her eyes.

Taeyeon regards Jessica with a long look, a half-smile appearing on her face as she spins around and leans on the railing to stare at the planes flying away in the distance.

She just misses Jessica turning her head to look at her.

*So I love you
Oh I love you
From the moment I saw you, always
You’re the one who opened my closed heart
Love you

There are a couple of things in this chapter that I initially did not plan to happen. I never planned for another drunk kiss to happen but I kept thinking of Taengsic singing karaoke together and getting drunk. 3 months ago I promised driftingbth that I’d write my version of Taengsic in a noraebang au or karaoke scene. I hope you enjoyed it despite how short it is! (and please go check out their Taengsic fic of soju, noraebang and regrets!)

Additionally, Taeyeon and Jessica were supposed to perform Jessica’s song Love U live at Grand Central Station, but I scraped that idea because it felt a little clichéd in a way haha.

There were a lot of songs that I considered including in this chapter – The Way You Look Tonight was a late inclusion. Maybe one day I'll tell you what those songs were.

Songs included in this chapter:

• Lauv – I Like Me Better
• Frank Sinatra – The Way You Look Tonight
• Lawson – Animals
• Jessica Jung – Love U