Tokyo, Japan

Jessica spends her time in the cab checking her emails and messages, moving the messages to their appropriate folders to clean up her inbox. She answers her phone when it rings, sighing when her secretary informs her of a request for a phone conversation to discuss the latest Blanc & Eclare collection.

“I’ll deal with that later. Let them know that I’m out on business and I’ll call them when I arrive back in Seoul,” She says, absentmindedly sketching the design of a dress on her iPad.

She hangs up on the phone call and switches off her iPad, spending the rest of her journey staring outside the window at the streets of Tokyo.

It turns out Jessica is still bad at reading a map and directions because she ends up at a different location to what she had expected.

“I’m so sorry,” Jessica says in Japanese, feeling terrible for confusing her taxi driver and making him spend another hour driving her to her final destination in peak-hour traffic.

She steps out of the cab after generously tipping the driver and waves goodbye, sighing when the vehicle disappears into the distance. She glances down at her phone and resists the urge to smack herself for being an idiot and not understanding the Japanese language as well as in the past.

Jessica’s startled when she hears a warm voice singing a few metres away. Her eyes fall on a comfortably dressed figure sitting on the steps with a cap pulled down so low that she barely makes out the person’s eyes.

A grin spreads across her face when she recognises who else is in Shibuya, excitement bubbling within her when she realises this is their third random encounter around the world.

Darling be careful with me
‘Cause there’s part of me that you don’t know
Darling be gentle with me
When you tell me that you need to go
And if you should miss me, don’t call me, don’t tell me, just leave me alone
Because you cut me wide open left teardrops on all my white roses

“We’ve got to stop running into each other like this,” Jessica says, wheeling her suitcase over and standing in front of the singer who raises their head and flashes her an impish grin.

“This is quite a late check in,” Taeyeon says, scanning her up and down and smirking in amusement.

“I got lost because I ended up on the other side of town. I only realised when I checked my phone and the taxi driver told me I was in the wrong place.”

Taeyeon snorts and takes off her cap to brush her hair. Jessica flashes her a glare and she bursts into laughter.

“Sorry, I just find this very amusing,” Taeyeon says, shaking her head at the absurdity of the situation. Jessica can’t help but break out into a smile when Taeyeon’s shoulders rise and fall as she tries, and fails, to contain her laughter.

“What are you doing here?” Jessica says when Taeyeon looks up at her again with intrigued eyes.

“I have a few concerts here and have the evening off from rehearsals so I thought I’d do a bit of walking and singing. What about you? What brings you to the bright streets of Tokyo? Other than finding your hotel of course.”

“Very funny, Taeyeon,” Jessica says, plopping down beside Taeyeon and resting her head on her propped up knees.

“I’m here on a work trip for creative inspiration,” She says, waving her hands at their surroundings.

“Japan’s filled with beautiful attractions and tranquil scenery. It’s a fantastic place to gain inspiration from.”

Jessica nods in agreement and stares at her boots.

“So which hotel are you staying at?” Taeyeon says, furrowing her eyebrows when Jessica shows her the establishment on her phone.

“Oh,” Taeyeon says, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she smirks at Jessica.

“What?”

“Funnily enough, that’s the one I’m staying at,” Taeyeon says, chuckling to herself as she pushes herself off the steps and spins around to offer Jessica her palm. Jessica accepts Taeyeon’s hand to pull her up, squealing when she misjudges her step and leans on Taeyeon. Somehow, she manages to slide her arms around Taeyeon’s neck and she gasps when she feels Taeyeon’s arms snake around her waist to steady her. Even though her shirt acts as a barrier between them, she can’t help but feel a burning sensation on her skin where Taeyeon’s holding her.

“Oh!” Taeyeon says, making sure she’s standing well before releasing her grip on her waist and stepping back to create some distance between them. Jessica notes the growing redness on her cheeks but Taeyeon turns her head before she can question her about it.

“Seeing that you got lost on your way here, I’ll walk with you to the hotel,” Taeyeon says quickly, making her way down the steps and onto the street without waiting for Jessica.

That’s odd, Jessica thinks as she drags her suitcase after Taeyeon.

Jessica frowns when the hotel receptionist looks up from his computer with a regretful and fearful expression.

“We’re very sorry about this but unfortunately we’ve overbooked you and all the rooms are currently occupied. I can try and contact some of the other hotels and see if they have any room availability,” The receptionist says, bowing apologetically as he rifles through some paperwork and folders to find a list of hotels nearby.

“Great,” Jessica says, running a hand through her hair in frustration and unconsciously tapping her foot on the ground. She jumps when Taeyeon touches her elbow, forgetting that she’s there, and notes the curious expression Taeyeon wears.

“I have a spare bed if you want to share my room.”

“Taeyeon, I can’t ask that of you.”

“It’s either my room or the streets,” Taeyeon half-jokes, tilting her head to the side. The action causes her hair to sweep across her shoulders and Jessica purses her lips. She nods in agreement, raising her eyebrows when Taeyeon wiggles her eyebrows at her. Taeyeon places an arm on the counter and leans forward to speak to the receptionist, leaning her head on the palm of her hand in an endearing manner.

“You wouldn’t mind if I had a guest join me in my room, would you?” She says, a dazzling grin on her face as she turns her head to the side to look at Jessica.

Jessica thinks the receptionist must have the same thought as her because he fumbles for the phone and hands over a second set of keys to Jessica.

“N-not at all Taeyeon-san! I’ll inform my staff to bring an extra set of amenities and toiletries to your room. And there’s no need to pay; it’s our fault for not letting you know we’re overbooked so we’ll refund you Jessica-san,” He says, nervously pressing the upside down receiver to his ear.

Taeyeon nods, satisfied, and spins around, a small smile playing at the corners of . Jessica feels her voice disappear when her eyes crinkle at the corners and she studies Jessica with a sparkle in her brown irises (Jessica convinces herself that it’s probably due to the reception’s bright lighting).

“Shall we?” Taeyeon says, holding out her hand for Jessica to hold.

It brings back memories to when Taeyeon had asked the same question in Nice, only this time Jessica doesn’t hesitate to slip her hand into Taeyeon’s.

Jessica unpacks and takes a quick shower, slipping into a comfortable set of pyjamas and a woollen sweater. She takes her time to do her night-time skincare routine and slides the door open when she’s done, furrowing her eyebrows when Taeyeon’s back greets her.

“Cabernet Sauvignon?” Taeyeon says, turning around and pulling out a bottle of wine from the minibar. Jessica nods and settles on the windowsill as Taeyeon approaches her with the bottle of wine and two empty wine glasses. She sits down on the edge of the windowsill and carefully pours Jessica a glass of wine, who gladly accepts the glass and takes her time to smell the drink.

Jessica grabs the wine bottle with her free hand and inspects it under the room light, her eyes quickly scanning the ingredients section on the label.

“There’s merlot in this,” Jessica says, nodding her head in approval as she returns the favour and pours Taeyeon a glass of wine.

“It’s not Ornellaia but this is the only wine bottle here that contains merlot, and I know merlot is your favourite grape in wine,” Taeyeon says, swinging her legs onto the windowsill and holding her glass in the air. Jessica raises her eyebrows at the observation – she’s astonished Taeyeon even remembers that small detail about herself – but keeps it to herself.

They clink their glasses together and drink, allowing the silence to envelope them as they savour the taste of the wine.

Maybe it’s the liquid courage within her or perhaps it’s the fact that she’s drinking with Taeyeon again that she speaks before she thinks.

“About what happened in Vegas...I’m sorry I kissed you like that,” Jessica says, her eyes widening at her choice of topic for conversation. Taeyeon looks at her for a brief moment before redirecting her gaze behind Jessica.

“It’s fine,” Taeyeon says quietly, placing her half-full glass of wine to the side.

“No, it’s not. Being drunk isn’t an excuse for being an idiot and acting in a silly manner.”

Taeyeon nudges her leg with her covered foot and Jessica yelps in surprise, glaring at Taeyeon who giggles to herself.

“You didn’t do anything bad so it’s all good,” Taeyeon says, the gentle smile on her face making Jessica’s doubts dissolve.

There’s a pause between them and Jessica glimpses at the glass of wine sitting beside Taeyeon, untouched.

“I got back with him,” Jessica confesses, propping her legs up on the windowsill to mirror Taeyeon. 

“I heard,” Taeyeon says quietly, continuing to stare at the night sky through the window.

“I’m engaged,” Jessica adds, a part of her feeling as though she owes Taeyeon an explanation. An explanation for what, she doesn’t know.

Even though Taeyeon’s gaze falls in her direction, Taeyeon still doesn’t look at her.

“I know. Congratulations.”

“You-what? How did you know?” Jessica says, blinking at the revelation. She’s sure the only ones who know of the important news are her family and close friends, who she made swear not to disclose any information. If Taeyeon knows, adorably oblivious Taeyeon, then she might not be doing a fantastic job of keeping the news under wraps.

Taeyeon finally looks at her and shrugs. She brings her glass of wine to , taking a calculated sip and her lips.

“I hear a lot of rumours but you just confirmed it to me. It’s not obvious though.”

“Good. I don’t need people prying into my personal life.”

“No, you don’t. People can be brutal anyways,” Taeyeon says with a half-smile, her gaze flickering back to the spot on the window behind Jessica as she pulls on the end of the sleeves of her jumper.

Jessica immediately remembers all the incidents Taeyeon’s gotten into over the years; the Hong Kong clubbing controversy, her dating scandal with Baekhyun and everything that happened after she was removed from the group – the fan-meetings, the tour, the performances, the interviews. She remembers typing those messages in Korean and English, choosing to allow the fans to know the truth. Jessica recalls the backlash Taeyeon had received – she knows Taeyeon carried the brunt of the repercussions as the leader of Girls’ Generation – and grips her glass of wine with guilt, placing it down gently beside her as she trembles with shame.

“I’m –”

“It’s fine,” Taeyeon says resignedly, closing her eyes for a moment as a ghost of a smile flickers on her lips and disappears just as quickly.

Jessica finds herself staring at Taeyeon again, not knowing what else to say other than ‘sorry’. She’s surprised when Taeyeon initiates the conversation again, her eyebrows furrowed as she leans forward to speak.

“Was that what you were arguing about for months? A marriage?”

“I’m surprised you remember that,” Jessica says, a small smile appearing on her face when Taeyeon covers and giggles.

“Well you got very drunk that night when you were telling me that the both of you have been arguing for months,” She says after she recovers from her laughter, winking for good measure.

And there’s the confident Taeyeon she knows and remembers.

“Right. I’m sorry again,” Jessica says, releasing a laughter of her own when Taeyeon waves her hand to dismiss her apology again.

They fall into another round of comfortable silence, their legs beside each other as they sip their wine. She holds her glass of wine out to Taeyeon, smiling gratefully when Taeyeon pours her another glass of Cabernet Sauvignon.

“I’d love it if you sang at my wedding,” Jessica says, scrutinising the way Taeyeon blinks and pauses before carefully placing the bottle of wine on the ground.

“Do you want me to sing at your wedding?” Taeyeon says softly, bringing her knees up to her chest and looking at Jessica with an unreadable expression on her face.

“Do you want to?”

“I charge a pretty high rate,” Taeyeon says, wiggling her eyebrows in a lighthearted manner.

“I'm a creative designer who is going to be married to a CEO. I can manage. Drinks are already on the house.”

“Wow, do you want me to die of alcohol poisoning?” Taeyeon says, throwing her head back to laugh and wincing when her head comes into contact with the hard wall behind her. Jessica sniggers in amusement when Taeyeon pouts and rubs the sore spot on her head.

“Shut up,” Taeyeon says, causing Jessica to bend over and guffaw. She wipes the tears coming out of her eyes and sits upright, reaching out to hold onto Taeyeon’s hands.

“I’ll pay you.”

“I was joking about the pay. I was going to sing for you for free,” Taeyeon says, tilting her head to the side.

“I’ll still pay you,” Jessica presses, frowning when Taeyeon shakes her head and flashes her a grin.

“I’m doing it for free and that’s final,” Taeyeon says, squeezing her hands in reassurance before letting go.

Maybe it’s the alcohol in Jessica’s system that’s clouding her judgement but she thinks there’s something more to Taeyeon’s words and actions.

She pushes that thought to the back of her mind, instead appreciating the way the moonlight illuminates Taeyeon’s features.

Taeyeon disappears for a couple of minutes to go to the bathroom. Jessica takes this time to admire the night skyline, trying to imagine the very thing Taeyeon saw just moments ago when she was staring out of the window. She smiles at the silly thought and sips on her wine, savouring the taste of black cherries and blackberry from the alcoholic drink.

Jessica swivels around when she hears the bathroom door open and Taeyeon’s soft footsteps padding across the floor. She arches her eyebrows when she notices the instrument in Taeyeon’s hands.

“I thought you stopped playing guitar after that musical you took part in years ago? Midnight Sun?”

“I did but then I have a lot of time on my hands so I decided to learn to play again,” Taeyeon says, returning to sit opposite Jessica on the windowsill and gently strumming the instrument.

Jessica watches as Taeyeon’s nimble fingers expertly move across the fretboard to change notes. She studies the way Taeyeon closes her eyes and gently rocks her body from side to side, enamoured by the way her lips turn up at the corners. Jessica feels warmth spread to her chest when Taeyeon’s hair falls over her shoulders and partially frames her face. She suddenly feels the urge to reach over to tuck the loose strands behind Taeyeon’s ear but stops herself when Taeyeon pauses her playing.

“Any particular song requests?” Taeyeon asks, opening her eyes and staring directly at Jessica.

Jessica’s reminded of their encounter in Nice when Taeyeon had asked the same exact question. She grins and decides to honour that memory with the same exact response.

“Surprise me.”

Taeyeon’s lips curl into a content smile and she begins to strum an unfamiliar melody to Jessica.

(It’s one of the things she loves about Taeyeon; her appreciation for music is remarkable.)

I teach love is the fluid in all my songs, mm-mm
But then I faked my way through it with alcohol
I speak the language so fluent, lost in translation
But I guess they don’t see you in their camera phones, oh no

Sometimes I feel nothing at all
Sometimes I want someone to hold
Sometimes I carry on
Just to stumble down once more
Sometimes I, I, I wanna fall

Taeyeon’s vocals casts Jessica’s mind back to a time when Sunny, Sooyoung, Tiffany and herself had guested on Radio Star and the hosts had asked her who was the better singer between the two of them.

“Taeyeon is really good at singing. I just like singing and Taeyeon is the really good one.”

Jessica smiles fondly at the recollection and watches Taeyeon sing softly and play the guitar.

She knows one thing is for certain.

Taeyeon is still really good at singing.

When Taeyeon’s voice trails off and she stops singing and playing the guitar altogether, Jessica brings her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around her knees. She takes in the way Taeyeon’s eyes remain closed and how her chest rises and falls to her steady breathing. She notes the tight grip Taeyeon has on her guitar, as if it’s an extension of herself. She studies the way Taeyeon’s white sweater exposes one side of her collarbone and how the moonlight beautifully shines on her skin.

She blinks when Taeyeon opens her eyes and coughs, her gaze flittering everywhere and anywhere but on Jessica.

“Sorry about that. I got a little too emotional about this song,” Taeyeon says, rubbing the back of her neck in shyness. She ducks her head and her hair covers her face again.

This time, Jessica doesn’t hold back when she extends a hand to tuck Taeyeon’s hair behind her ears.

“I should get you to drink more often so that you’ll sing me emotional songs or break up songs. They say you’re a woman who sings as though they’ve been divorced seven times,” Jessica quips, smiling widely when Taeyeon throws her head back and laughs, this time being careful to not hit her head on the wall again.

“Like I said, do you want me to die of alcohol poisoning?” Taeyeon jokes, sticking her tongue out when Jessica reaches over and pinches her leg.

“I’m going to sleep first but I want you to know that I always have a fun time talking to you like this,” Jessica says, standing up and stretching her body.

Taeyeon gives her another half-smile and nods.

There’s something odd about the way that smile never reaches her eyes (Jessica notes the increasing number of half-smiles Taeyeon’s given her in this one night) but Jessica pushes that thought aside like the many other thoughts of Taeyeon she’s been having recently.

“Goodnight,” Taeyeon says as she returns her attention back to her guitar.

Jessica watches as Taeyeon sits still under the moonlight with her eyes closed and her hands absentmindedly strumming the guitar strings. The tune sounds familiar to Jessica, whose eyes fall on the time on her phone.

11:11.

Of course Taeyeon would play one of her songs.

Jessica drifts off to sleep to the sweet lullaby of Taeyeon’s voice as she continues to sing into the night on the windowsill.

계절틈에 잠시 피는 낯선 꽃처럼
하루틈에 걸려있는 새벽별처럼
이 모든 건 언젠가는 다
지나가고 말겠지*
 

*Like a strange flower that blooms between seasons
Like the morning star that hangs between days
All of this, some day, will pass

This chapter is sponsored by drinking and intense emotional honesty. If you follow me on Twitter, you might have realised that I indeed hinted about this chapter.

Songs included in this chapter:

• Greyson Chance – White Roses
• James Arthur – Fall
• Taeyeon – 11:11