When he was 19 and she was 16, Zhang Yixing met the love of his life once again.

 

He hadn’t expected it to happen so suddenly. Many times, he had imagined how things would go when he came across Su Yingyue again. Would she be married by then? Would she be with her husband, with her children? Or perhaps she wouldn’t be, and neither would he, and they would smile at each other and reminisce about their childhood together while they caught up on what had happened since they were abruptly separated. He would tell her how much he had missed her companionship, how much he had missed her laughter and chatter in his ear. She could show him her sewing, and he would about how bad it looked before she got angry and he would tell her the truth, that it was beautiful handiwork and ask her for a handsewn sachet he could wear from his waistband. 

 

And maybe, just maybe, after they had become comfortable around each other again, he would bring up the topic of marriage. 

 

Of course, things don’t tend to turn out the way you imagined them to go.

 

When Yixing was 19, he entered the palace with his family to celebrate the Emperor’s birthday. As the richest merchant family in the capital, it was natural that they would be invited to attend as well. Yixing couldn’t help but wonder, however, if he would see Yingyue at the banquet. The Su family had long held favor with the royal family, with Lord Su having successfully served as the Crown Prince’s tutor for many years. Unless he had committed any wrongdoings recently that Yixing didn’t know of, it made sense for him to attend. And if Yixing remembered correctly, Su Yingyue was now 16 years old and of the age to begin attending these banquets. It allowed her to show off her talents in front of the most eligible men in the entire country, and perhaps attract a husband at the same time. 

 

The thought both worried and excited Yixing at the same time.

 

At the banquet, he made sure to carry himself as he knew he was expected to, a small polite smile on his face as he greeted and held small conversations with the guests he came across. As he spoke to them, he carefully looked around the room without seeming like he wasn’t paying attention, searching for Su Yingyue’s familiar face. To his dismay however, he failed to come across her familiar smiling face. Plenty of other young noblewomen came up to speak to him though; as an unmarried young man with a reputation for good looks and martial arts skill in the capital, he knew he was a desirable catch. And yet, his eyes only searched for one woman. 

 

Yixing couldn’t help but feel disappointed as he was called to his seat with his parents. Further up the room, he saw Lord and Madam Su, but they seemed to be alone. Had he been wrong in expecting Yingyue to attend? The Emperor arrived in the main hall, and all the guests went through the usual formalities. All of that, and the performances that began as the guests began their meal, went right over Yixing’s head though, even as he robotically went through the motions. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed; he had been looking forward to seeing Yingyue, and had even been extra careful in choosing his attire for the banquet today. His mother, of course, thought he just wanted to look his best in front of the top ranked nobility in the country. 

 

Then, as the group of dancers and musicians in the middle of the hall cleared away, and a figure in a light blue dress approached the center of the room. Despite his earlier disappointment, Yixing suddenly found himself transfixed as the girl began to dance. Her steps were light and graceful, her body moving elegantly to the music. It reminded Yixing of a lotus flower, flowing lightly along the river. She looked oddly familiar somehow, but Yixing couldn’t place where he had seen her before.

 

 And then, she smiled, and Yixing felt his heart skip a beat. 

 

Yingyue.

 

Yes, it definitely had to be her. There was no denying it. She had changed in the time they were apart, the young girl with soft fluffy cheeks and bright inquisitive innocent eyes replaced by a blossoming young lady. Her gaze flitted lightly around the room as she danced, capturing the attention of the princes and nobility watching her. As the music faded and Yingyue came to a stop, the room fell so silent you could almost hear a pin drop.

 

Then, the emperor laughed, and the entire room burst into applause. The young woman smiled and bowed politely. 

 

“Your subject, Su Yingyue, wishes Your Majesty a happy birthday and a life of health and vitality.” She said with a bright smile. Yixing felt his heart pound in his chest.

 

Su Yingyue.

 

It really was her. 

 

The emperor chuckled.

 

“The little daughter of the Su family has grown into a young woman.” He observed, “Lord Su, you have raised a good daughter.” Lord Su smiled and bowed to the Emperor.

 

“All thanks to the grace Your Majesty has shown to our family.” He said. 

 

“If I remember correctly, Miss Su should be around the age to be married, isn’t she?” the Emperor said, “Is that correct, Miss Su?” Yingyue smiled and dipped her head affirmatively.

 

“I am 16 years old, Your Majesty.” She replied. The Emperor smiled.

 

“I have heard that Miss Su is an accomplished dancer and painter.” He said, “It seems that those were not empty praises.” Yingyue dipped her head humbly and curtseyed to the Emperor.

 

“No, Your Majesty.” She replied with a demure smile, “I still have many things to improve on. Those rumors are simply exaggerating.” 

 

“Miss Su, please enjoy yourself tonight, and please do not forget to say hello to the young men in attendance today. Perhaps one of them will be to your liking.” He said. Yixing felt his throat go dry. The Emperor’s statement was innocuous enough, but the implication was clear. With one dance, the Emperor saw Su Yingyue as a potential daughter in law for one of his sons. It did make sense; her father was one of the most favored subjects. It made logical sense for her to marry into the royal family. 

 

And yet, Yixing felt his heart clench at the idea of someone else marrying Yingyue. 

 

As Yingyue bowed and took her leave, she turned and her gaze caught onto Yixing. For a moment, time to freeze, and her eyes widened slightly as her eyes met Yixing’s. Yixing felt his heart start to pound in his chest again as a delighted, barely suppressed smile lit up Yingyue’s face.

 

She recognizes me!

 

Then, to maintain propriety, Yingyue hurried on, and disappeared out of the main hall. For the rest of the night, Yixing could barely keep himself from walking directly over to where the Su family was sitting. He wanted to pull Yingyue away from the eyes that were watching her, but he knew better than to put his thoughts into motion. As soon as the food had been finished, several princes and dukes were already surrounding the Su family. Even from his position further away, Yixing could tell from their smiling faces and Yingyue’s blushing cheeks they were showering her with praise. That went on for the entire night, and by the time the banquet finished, Yixing hadn’t managed to get in a single word with her. Sighing, he rose to his feet and began exiting the main hall with his parents. He would have to find another excuse to go to Su Mansion, and perhaps he would be allowed to see Yingyue despite their unmarried status.

 

And then, as he stepped outside of the main hall, he heard a voice call out to him.

 

“Xing gege!” The voice was a chirpy, cheerful voice, and very, very familiar. Yixing turned as Su Yingyue dashed up to him, her eyes lighting up in delight as she looked at him. 

 

“Yue-er.” He said softly, “It’s been a long time.” She nodded in delight, then pouted at him. 

 

“Xing gege, are you trying to leave without saying bye to me?” She asked with a slight huff, “I’m going to be angry if you were!” Yixing chuckled softly.

 

Yes, there she was, the vivacious little lady he had grown up with. 

 

The prim and proper lady was simply an act that her parents had taught her to use every time they were out in public.

 

“Of course not, Yue’er.” He said softly, “You had so many people surrounding you, I couldn’t get close.” Yingyue thought for a moment, then nodded.

 

“I guess that makes sense.” She replied. 

 

“Yixing.” He turned as he heard his mother’s voice, and saw her motioning at him to keep up, “It’s time to go.” Yixing dipped his head in acquiescence. Yingyue was the center of attention tonight; it wouldn’t look good for him, an unmarried man, to spend too much time close to her, regardless of their previous friendship. 

 

“I have to go, Yue’er.” He said, “Take care of yourself.” Yixing took a step away, then paused as Yingyue called out to him again. 

 

“Xing gege!” She called, causing him to turn back to look at her. As he did, he saw a shy, pink cheeked expression on her face, a warm smile turning up the corners of her soft red painted lips. 

 

“I’m happy to see you again.” She said, “Truly.” Yixing smiled and nodded.

 

“I’m happy as well, Yue’er.” He replied.

 

I hope we can meet up again.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

In the days following the emperor’s birthday banquet, Yixing found himself occupied by matters at home. As he grew older, his father expected him to take up greater responsibility in the family business alongside his brother, and that often involved traveling among the various stores his family owned in nearby cities as well. Yixing didn’t mind, of course; he had grown up expecting this to happen. 

 

But this all also meant he couldn’t pay a visit to Su Mansion as he had intended, in an attempt to see Yingyue again. 

 

Before he knew it, two months had passed after he had last seen Yingyue. And in that time, there was more than enough that occurred that began making Yixing uneasy. 

 

Rumors began spreading not long after the Emperor’s birthday feast, that Young Miss Su had become the object of attraction among the young royal princes. One after the other, they repeatedly invited her to spend time with them, from meals to boat rides on the river to outdoor picnics and trail rides. It was clear what they were going after; her hand in marriage, and with it, the powerful backing of the Su family. And yet, after two months, none had managed to win the young lady’s favor. It was unclear what she was holding out for. A higher ranked prince perhaps? Or one who was more favored by the Emperor? Perhaps even the Crown Prince? 

 

The thoughts whirled around Yixing’s head so much that it distracted him even at work, earning him a multitude of scoldings from his father and brother. 

 

Rumors soon began spreading through the capital that the Sixth Prince had grown rather close to Yingyue, and was going to ask the Emperor to grant marriage to them. Once the decree was announced, Yixing knew he wouldn’t have a single chance anymore.

 

“You’re in love.” His elder brother, Yifan, noted as he saw Yixing pounding away with more force than necessary at a table he was helping to make. Yixing froze and looked at his brother in confusion.

 

“What are you talking about, ge?” He asked. Yifan walked over and gently pried away the hammer Yixing was holding tightly in his hand.

 

“It’s written all over your face, little brother.” He teased, “You’re jealous that Miss Su is getting so close to the princes. You’re afraid she’ll marry one of them, aren’t you?”

 

“I...I…” Yixing stammered as he searched for the right words to say, “I simply want to protect her! The royal family isn’t the place for someone like her. It’s too stifled, too full of rules. She could never be herself there.” Yifan laughed and shook his head.

 

“Yixing, does your heart pound when you see Yingyue?” He said. Yixing thought for a long moment, then nodded. 

 

“Ask yourself carefully.” Yifan said, “Do you simply want to protect her, or is there something else to it?” Yixing hesitated for a moment, then closed his eyes as he thought over it carefully.

 

What is it...that I want…

 

I want...to see Yingyue’s smiling face by my side at all times. 

 

I want...to keep her safe and protected from harm at all times.

 

I want...her to be herself, to laugh and learn and do whatever it is that she wants.

 

I want...to hold her, and tell her how much I missed her during our years apart.

 

I want to see her every day, to see her smile at me and laugh and hear her call my name.

 

Not as a sister, as a little friend following by my side…

 

But as...a woman, my woman.

 

Just the thought that Yingyue could marry someone else, spend the rest of her life with one of the princes, was enough to make his heart ache so much he could barely breathe.

 

A rush of emotion piled up in Yixing’s chest as these thoughts arose, so much that he opened his eyes with a gasp. Yifan smiled, seeming to know what conclusion his brother had come to.

 

“And?” He said, “What is it that you want, little brother?” Yixing swallowed hard and looked up at his brother.

 

“Ge.” He said softly, “This rush of emotions I’m feeling...is that what it feels to fall in love? To want to see a woman all the time, not as a friend, but as your lifetime companion? To want to hold her in my arms forever?”  Yifan smiled and squeezed his brother on the shoulder.

 

“Don’t hesitate. Go find your beloved, little brother.” He said. 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

The watchmen at the front of Su Mansion were shocked to say the least when the second young master of the Zhang family rushed straight through the front gates, pausing only to ask where Lord Su was to be located. Thankfully, Lord and Madam Su were both in the main hall, and they looked up in surprise as Yixing rushed in.

 

“Zhang Yixing, what is the matter?” Lord Su asked, taking in Yixing’s frazzled state. Gasping for breath, Yixing bent over to catch his breath, his chest heaving. When he had finally caught his breath, he straightened his back and folded his hands in front of him politely.

 

“Lord Su, Madam Su.” He said, “Forgive me for being so frank, but there are some words that I must say today.” Lord Su motioned for him to continue, and Yixing took a deep breath to steel himself.

 

“Lord Su, Madam Su, please let me marry your daughter!” He declared, “I promise I will make her happy!” Yingyue’s parents were, naturally, taken aback by his sudden request. The couple exchanged glances with each other briefly before Madam Su looked at Yixing cautiously.

 

“Yixing…” She said, “I know you grew up close with Yingyue, but marriage is not a matter to be joked about.” Yixing shook his head.

 

“Madam Su, I am not joking.” He said, “I am sincerely asking for your permission to marry Yingyue. I have thought about it many times, and this is the only conclusion that I could come to. I am in love with your daughter, and I am certain no one knows her better than I do.” He cast a pleading look at Lord and Madam Su.

 

“Forgive me for being too frank.” He continued, “But you know your daughter’s personality. The royal family might provide great backing for Yingyue, but she would only suffer there. The royal family doesn’t suit her.” If it was any other family, Yixing would have been in trouble, but he knew that the Lord and Madam Su would agree with him, even if they didn’t say anything. Lord and Madam Su were silent for a long moment. 

 

“We will have to think this over.” Lord Su finally said, “We will speak with your parents about the matter as well. As you know, Yingyue is currently being pursued by some of the royal princes as well. It is not a matter that we alone can decide.” 

 

“There’s no need to think about it!” There was the sound of soft rustling fabric, and a figure suddenly hurried out from behind the set of curtains leading into the innermost part of the house. Yixing’s jaw dropped. 

 

“Yue’er!” He exclaimed, “How long have you been there?” Yingyue grinned.

 

“Long enough to hear what I wanted to hear most.” She replied with a smile. Bowing politely to parents, Yingyue’s next words startled Yixing to the core.

 

“Mother, Father. I am willing to marry Zhang Yixing and be his wife instead of becoming a princess consort.” She declared. Yixing stared at her in shock.

 

“Yue’er...are you sure?” He asked, dumbfounded at her straightforward answer. Yingyue smiled and dipped her head shyly.

 

“Xing gege.” She said, “Truth be told, the only person I ever wanted to marry....was you. I’ve been waiting for the moment when we could meet again, when I could confess how I felt, but the chance just never came. And now, finally I can hear the words directly from you first.” Yixing felt his cheeks flush hot as he realized what Yingyue was saying.

 

“Yue’er...you mean…?” He trailed off, not daring to finish the sentence. Yingyue blushed as she looked up at him, then over at her parents.

 

“I...I…I like you, Xing gege.” She blurted before turning around and covering her blushing face with her hands. Yixing stared at her, the words ringing in his head as his cheeks flushed hot, one hand clasped over his mouth.

 

She...she...she likes me! 

 

Su Yingyue likes me!

 

Yixing wanted to run out of the house screaming in joy, yelling down the entire street to make sure everyone in the capital heard him. He wanted to run to his parents, his brother, and tell them that he and his childhood friend were in love, were going to pledge their affection to each other and spend the rest of their lives together. If it didn’t look rather unseemly for a rich nobleman to do all those things, he might actually have done them all and more. 

 

He heard Lord Su clear his throat, pulling him from his daze.

 

“Children, this is still not a matter for you to decide on your own.” He said gruffly, “Yixing, you are a good child, and you come from a good family. But the royal family has taken an interest in Yingyue as well, and that makes things much harder to deal with.” After all, one wrong step, and the Su family could insult a member of the royal family, thus leading to a loss of favor and status. Yingyue smiled, and bobbed a polite curtsey to her parents.

 

“Mother, Father, don’t worry.” She said, “I will have the matter settled. Neither of you will have to do a thing.”

____________________________________________________________________________

As it turned out, Yingyue already had a plan for how to settle the princes’ attempts to court her favor. The Sixth Prince, who seemed most likely to become her husband, was actually in love with another noble lady, of lesser status than the Su family. He had only courted Yingyue because his mother had forced him to. In order to allow the lovebirds to be together, Yingyue arranged for the Sixth Prince’s lady love to become the goddaughter of a high ranking official, thus raising her societal status and making her eligible to marry the Sixth Prince. As for the other princes who were interested in her, she invited them all out together to a teahouse together, and explained bluntly that she was not interested in any of them. It ran the risk of insulting the royal family, of course, but with the princes all together in once space, it meant none of the princes would think she had chosen one brother over the other. In order to solidify the matter further, Yingyue went to see the Empress. Yixing wasn’t sure how she did it; he only heard that the Emperor and Empress had been first loves, and had almost been unable to marry because the Empress’s father wanted to arrange for her to marry someone else. Yingyue somehow played on this point, and even the Empress agreed to let her marry outside of the royal family.

 

And then, before he knew it, the Zhang and Su families were discussing the marriage union between their children. The date, the banquet, the guests, the dowry. Everything had to be perfect. 

 

Then, when Zhang Yixing was 20 and Su Yingyue was 17, he finally married the love of his life.