His phone is ringing.

Please Jaejoong, answer the phone.

He decided to just leave it as he went out of his apartment.

All is set for that night. Even the papers needed for the next day—his big day. He decided to let it go this time. Almost 20 years in the industry and he just wanted to explain everything to his fans without any hold backs. He talked to his parents about his decision. His mom looked at him proudly, same with his father. Really, his parents are very supportive. He got emotional when after he explained to them everything and his plans, they just smiled at him and hugged him and tell him that he will be fine and that they will always be there for him. He held his cries that day and spent the rest of the day with his family. But after he went back to his own apartment, he called his manager and probably the closest person he has today and told him everything.

He decided to leave everything-- his career, the industry and most importantly, give his fans his one last performance and talk to them without holding back. His manager asked him million times if that is really what he wants and he answered him the same thing every time, yes.

The event is tonight. He did not accept any shows a month ago after he finalized his plans. Fans from social media are asking where he is every day. He was bombarded with messages and some even went to leave gifts outside his apartment and messages like whatever his decision is or wherever he is, just be sure that he will take good care of himself and that his fans will forever love him. Sometimes, he wonders if leaving them is the right thing to do but then his thoughts backfired at him and tells him, “you chose them for almost two decades, it’s time to choose yourself now.”

He decided to post a selca 2 weeks ago without any caption. The picture was captured when he went to Cebu to have his grand vacation after his concert tour. Nobody knows he went there. The place gave him the peace he needed and the people who guide him and tour him did not made him feel extra special just because he is Kim Jaejoong. They treated him as a normal person and Jaejoong enjoyed every minute and second of that vacation. He felt free. The place made him feel free and it’s probably the reason why he posted that picture. He decided to be free.

Jae, please.

A week ago, his company announced his one day concert. His company let him decide everything that is going to happen in his concert. Jaejoong wanted it to last for 7 hours. Many of the staffs and even his manager looked at him when he announced it to them.

“7 hours is too long. I mean, really?”  His manager looked at him worriedly and even the staffs around him had those eyes full of worry and it somehow made him feel sad because he’s going to miss those moments that he will spent time with the crew before, during and after his concerts. This will be the last time as he reminds himself and probably the last time he will coordinate with this team or friends.

“It’s final. I want it to be that long. Come on guys, we can do this. I know we can and just so you know, this might be the last time we will team up for my concert.” Jaejoong said while looking at them, feeling hopeful that he will convince everyone.

“But Jae, we are worried about you. 7 hours of performance. That’s insane.” One of his noona said to him.

“7 last hours to be with everyone. To perform. To sing. To talk to them personally, noona. I’ll be fine if you’re worried about me, I’ll be fine. Just trust me on this. Guide me for the last time. This will all be well. Okay?”

“What is the title of your concert again?”

 

“Tell me that it’s not real.”

“Hyung, we can’t do anything about it. I thought he was with you a month ago?”

Yunho, in a verge of crying, sit down in the hallway of their hotel. Changmin told him that Jaejoong decided to announce his concert yesterday and fans were telling that it might be the last time he will perform. Of course, they will not believe it unless it’s Jaejoong that confirms it. But the man is not answering to any of their calls and messages. They are in japan right now and to think that the concert will happen in a week, they knew that it is already planned.

“I’m with him and I explained everything. Min, it’s his dreams. It’s our dream. Now, we are very successful and I know that Jaejoong is happy with it now and I—“

“Are you sure, Hyung? Is he really happy?”

“Yes.”

“We’re in the industry for almost two decades, Hyung. I know Jaejoong hyung have his plans and maybe plans for the both of you too.”

“But Min…”

“Are you afraid, hyung? That maybe in his last concert, he will announce that both of you are together and explain why you don’t have any plans of getting married and finally after so many years, let yourself be free to be together?” Changmin is challenging him. But he knows that those words that came out from his maknae made him admit that maybe, he is afraid of it coming.

“So before you think there hyung, his concert is called Ominira.”

“And…”

“Freedom hyung, if you haven’t searched about it. It means Freedom.”

 

“Jae, ready?”

“how many minutes?”

“10.”

“Alright.”

This is it as he stands up and fixes his clothes. He likes his clothes though, it’s very comfortable and he feels like he is at his home. His last concert feels like home and people that he can hear shouting and cheering outside his room are his home. He sighed. This is it. He holds his microphone and get ready to present himself in stage. He had hundreds of concerts before but this concert made him feel nervous as hell. Like a newbie to his work but then he reminds himself that this is his home and slowly his heartbeat is going back to normal. The power of his fans to make him feel like this.

The music started and the fans cheering louder and some are crying. When the light of the stage touched his face, he closes his eyes. He wanted to feel everything from the first song until the last. He wanted to focus on the way he sings and will make sure that he will not mess up even once. But after singing the first line of his song, he can feel he is becoming unstable. It’ll be okay. He keeps repeating to himself. It’s okay to let go, choose yourself this time. It’ll be fine Jaejoong.

But as he opens his eyes, he knew that he lost it. He looked at his fans, his family and some of his friends from the industry are present and seated in front.  He stopped singing. The song is abandoned and all he wanted is to look at the crowd in front of him. He didn’t know what happened to him. All these people who love him, supported him to all his decisions and were with him no matter what happens, looking at him with sadness and happiness at the same time. He wanted to apologize for being selfish but some of the messages he received last night went back to him..

Jaejoong, whatever it is, always choose to be happy. Don’t mind us. Choose yourself this time. We are going to be fine. We will continue to support you even if you’re out of the industry. We don’t know what will happen during your concert or whatever you will announce to us but remember that we are your family. We will always be here.

“Please stop the music.” And as if the world stops too as Jaejoong finally uses his mic again. The music instantly stops. Staffs at the back went to the monitor behind the stage to see what’s happening. It is not their time to get to the stage. They look at Jaejoong worriedly as the camera focuses on him. His sad eyes revealed to them and to the big screen. Fans are crying and staffs at the back too.

Jaejoong laughed. But he knew that he did that to break the awkwardness.

“I’m sorry. This is too overwhelming and I should not laugh.” He chuckled and the fans look at him lovingly. Their favourite man is in front of them, totally being himself and they can’t do anything but to love him even more. But the fear in each fan’s heart that maybe this will be the last performance of Jaejoong will have its confirmation later. They all just want to cherish every moment because they are not sure what will Jaejoong announce later.

“But yeah, I will continue the song later. My technical team, my band, staffs behind this stage, I’m sorry. We’ll change what is planned before. I know you will hate me for this but I know you love me so you will still forgive me.” Then he laughed.

“My girlfriends around the world and boyfriends too? I’m not sure. Can I atleast hear the cheer of all the fanboys out there?” and the shout of the fanboys can be hear clearly and Jaejoong can’t help but laughed.

“Thank you for being here. I promised that I will not mess up this concert but here we are in the first part of it and I can’t stop talking instead of singing. But you will forgive me right?” fans shouted ‘yes’ and keep on cheering for him.

“Thank you.” Jaejoong smiled genuinely.

“Some of you probably know and maybe assumed that this might be the last time I will perform in front of you.”

“I LOVE YOU KIM JAEJOONG!” one of the boys in the audience shouted and Jaejoong just cover his lips with the back of his hand and giggles.

“I can’t say I love you too right?” he replied while laughing.

“You caaaaaannn!”

“I can?”

“Yessss!”

“But someone might get jealous?” the arena is filled with lots of cheering from the fans.

“Yunhoooooooo!”

“Yunho, huh?” Jaejoong smiles shyly at them and the fans cheer loudly and he chuckled. Yunjae fans are still alive and probably wishing for them to be together even after so many years of not being seen in public together.

 

The concert went well, it’s the last part and there will an hour left for him. Fans are patiently waiting for his announcement that every time Jaejoong will sit and talk to them every after 3 songs, they will get nervous. The last hour is coming and once they saw Jaejoong sit in front of them with his ‘comfy’ clothes ready to talk to them, they feel that heartache already and the excitement that maybe, their greatest oppa will say what he wants to say. The concert is made for this. They have to be prepared for it no matter what.

“Hi…” Jaejoong shyly said to his fans and looked at them quietly after.

Fans did not make any sounds. Their silent cries are hold back and some are just looking at Jaejoong. The way Jaejoong looks at his fans with so much love, some cannot handle it. Some tried to just bow their heads and hold their sobs. Some are just smiling at him, probably returning the way Jaejoong is looking at them. As if he has all the time in world to glance to all his fans, Jaejoong continues to look at them. No words. No sounds. Just him, looking at them and smiling from time to time. Until, he finally speaks again.

“Ominira, I know some of you search for the meaning of it. I’m planning to explain it but I think I will be wasting my precious time if I did that and will miss the chance to talk about the important things.” And he laughs and his fan lovingly looks at him in return.

“I decided to use that word only for uniqueness. I want it to be unique and meaningful. I want you guys to search for it. To think about it, to be curious. I want it to be special.” The crowd is cheering for him. They know Jaejoong to be extra all the time and they expected those words from him. They cannot unlove this person for real.

“I know guys. It’s funny. Oh god, you guys know me well.” Jaejoong said and laughs again as the fans continue to cheer.

“For some reason, I don’t want this end. This concert I mean, that’s why when we’re planning about this, I told them that I want it to be 7 hours. It’s impossible. So impossible. But I got the best team. The best home, which is you guys, I got the best noonas and hyungs and the best manager. All of them made efforts to make this successful. I want to start thanking them now. Thank you to one of my pillar of support. You guys don’t know how much I love you and I just want to cry right now and hug all of you. Thank you for all the encouragement and support. To my manager, I love you Hyung. I love you all.” Jaejoong smiling with his teary eyes and he continues.

“There are times when I wanted to give up. Like almost all my tours I will always have this feeling. I’m a person, with feelings and limitations and even if I tell you guys how much I love to perform in front of you, I also have my down moments. But you will always be the one who also lifts me up. Every concert is special because I will always realize something while seeing you all. There are times when I break down in front of you because it’s too overwhelming. I always ask myself how can I be the person that makes you happy, gives you strength or lifts you up whenever you’re down. Am I even worth of this?” He cries silently. Fans are crying with him. Some are shouting that he is worth it. He is loved.

“Like this. I can’t thank you enough for all the things that you’ve done for me. You guys are my home. You guys are my strength and your love is what keeps me going until now. Some may have left, but I still feel happy knowing that once in their life, I was part of it. And for all of you who stay until now, I…” Jaejoong hold his mouth and cries. He cannot continue. He needs to cry. He needs to calm himself.

“I love you..” fans are crying and cheering. They shout their love to Jaejoong and seeing him like this, if they can only hug him altogether, they will do it. They know right at that moment that Jaejoong really love his fans. His home. They’re all crying. Soft music is playing since Jaejoong is bowing while crying his heart out. He lifted his eyes and look at his fans again. This time, he smiles.

“This will be my last concert and maybe the last performance in front of you…” he continues while stopping himself to cry.

“I know that you guys will get hurt because of this and I want to explain myself. Hear the reason straight to me and not to other people. I will not leave you like that. I owe you everything that I am now. So you deserve to hear this, straight from me. I want to have my freedom and I want to let you know that I want to choose myself this time. I know you wanted me to do this ever since I got problems, real problems and you just want me happy. Now I’m claiming it. I’m doing it not only for myself but also for you that wanted me to be happy always.”

“You are my happiness, no doubt about that. You make me happy all the time. You make me feel love, but as I ponder and reflect in life, I want to free my life from this set-up. Some might say I am being selfish and I’m sorry…” Jaejoong cries again.

“I’m sorry if I’m making you see me like that, I just want to do life. Life where I can be myself in the truest set-up. No pretentions. No holding back. No cover up because there are times when I just want to talk to you guys and tell you how I really feel. How sad I can be sometimes and how I want to share with you, but I can’t. I hate misunderstandings that’s why I’m doing this. It’s like I’m breaking up with all my girlfriends and boyfriends out here. I want to be happy with me. Myself.” Jaejoong cries while looking at them. Oh how can he do this and for making them sad. You are so cruel, Jaejoong.

But he needs to do this. He wants this.

He hopes that they will understand it too.

“Jaejoong…” Jaejoong was shock to hear a voice. His hyung from the technical gave a mic to one of his fans. He looks at the fan and smiles at her.

“I’ve been with you for 12 years. I have my own family now and has a son. I have to mention that because once in my life, I also want to be free. I understand what you’re feeling and as much as I want to hold you back, I will not do that. You need to have life like everyone else. I want you to be free. Your fans are not selfish to hold you back, I know because they also want you to be happy. So go, do it. We will always support you even if you’re not in public eyes anymore. You are and will always be our Jaejoongie.” The fan gives back the mic to hyung and Jaejoong was covering his face after he hears all those words. If you ask him now, he want to cry his heart out, how can he deserve this kind of love they have for him?

“Oppa!” He heard another voice again and he looks at the crowd again and saw that the fan is from the other side of the arena and looks younger.

“I want to punch you right now because you made us cry. We’re not kids anymore. Your fans are all married or engaged or working or matured enough. I’m 23 and working now and I want you to know that I love you no matter what. It may be hard for you to do this but always remember that choosing to be happy is what makes you do life. So be free. I’m here to support you but promise us that you will update us from time to time, little updates I mean. And if you can, post a picture with the gang. And by gang, I mean with chunnie oppa, junsu oppa, chami oppa and yunho oppa. I love you!” and the crowd cheer and laugh at the same time.

Even before that fan finish her talk, Jaejoong is laughing already. So much for a 23-year old girl. He laughs and holds his mic.

“I promise but promise also to update me if you get married already. Hahahaha..” he replied. The fans grow wild as Jaejoong said promise to that girl about the picture. Some got teary, their ot5 heart is screaming inside and crying and shouting is the only way for them to show their excitement. Some are hugging each other. The support they have as a family.

The fan replied as she shouted “I WILL!” to Jaejoong.

“Good!” he replied again while laughing this time.

“Oppa..” until he heard another voice from crowd again. But he was confuse because he clearly heard manly voice. He is searching now who could that be and he’s shocked as he saw one of his fanboys. He smiles right after and waits for him to say anything.

“I came out to my parents a week ago and they accepted me so don’t be shocked anymore. Uh..oh.. you’re smiling. Wait..” Jaejoong giggles as he gestured for the fan to continue.

“I just want to let you know that, you are one of the sources of my strength to come out to my parents that day. Jaejoong oppa is an inspiration to all of us and if he says he wanted freedom, we need to give it to him because he made us all free from every pain, doubts and challenges that we face. I’m not speaking for myself but for also for those fans who experience pure sadness and Jaejoong oppa became their strength, their reason to continue in life. I know that you don’t need permission from us but I also know that deep down in your heart, you wish for us to say this to you. So I’m saying it, be free. Freedom not only from your public figure, but also freedom from yourself. We love you oppa and I-“ the fans was cut as Jaejoong speaks.

“I loved a man before.” after he said those words, everyone was shocked from the confession. They knew it from the start that there will be revelations but this one is another thing. They did not expect it hearing from Jaejoong.

“Thank you for making me your strength.” He said to the fan and show a heart finger for him. The fan replied with the same gesture and smiles at him.

“I loved a man before but I made that man sad and hurt when I let him go.” Jaejoong said while smiling. “I loved that man because of his personality, looks is a bonus but I mainly love him because I woke up that one day and I looked at him while sleeping and then I saw right then and there that I want to spend my life with that man. I loved that man because I know that I’m destined for him. We are destined for each other. I might share some more in future but not now. It’s not yet the right time, I will get there soon and hope you can read my story that time..” Jaejoong said while smiling in front of the fans. This will be the last time he will cover it up because it’s about Yunho. He needs to settle things first before saying this.

“I’m so proud of you, Hyung!” Jaejoong is hugged by his two dongsaengs.

“Yahhhh! You guys are heavy. Stop! You’re making me cry again as if I had enough while I’m on the stage.”

“Hyung, let us hug you this tight and long please. We’re so happy!” Junsu said as he continue to hug Jaejoong. Jaejoong just smiles and hug them back.

Until Yoochun let go and and looks at his Hyung. He’s crying and he’s trying to hold it back but as of course it is Park Yoochun we are talking.

“Hyung, be free.” He simply said to Jaejoong.

Yunho is anxious and waiting for Jaejoong at his apartment. He went back to Korea right after their concert in Japan. Just in time that the concert was finished. He planned to go straight to the concert to see Jaejoong but he wanted to be with the man and have his time alone for now. He needed time to think how he will talk to Jaejoong. He received a lot of messages from his friends and he knew that it is about Jaejoong’s concert but he wanted to talk to the man first, alone. He wants to know what happened to the concert straight from Jaejoong.

He heard the door opening and he ready himself. He saw Jaejoong removing his shoes in the doorstep and he patiently waits for Jaejoong to see him in the sofa.

“I’m so—Yunho??” Jaejoong said as he sees Yunho sitting in the sofa looking at him. “You’re here? I thought you have a concert?”

“I have and I went back immediately because I’m so worried. You don’t pick up my calls baby…” Yunho said while standing up and facing Jaejoong. Jaejoong just sighed. He hugs Yunho and sighed again as if he’s back to his happy place. To that one place he want to rest for his whole life. Yunho’s arm it is.

“I’m so tired, Yunnie. I’ve been preparing for the concert that’s why. I don’t want to look at my phone. I forgot to tell everything to you and what are my plans before because I’m afraid that you will not accept it so I just did it after we had our vacation. I’m so sorry..” Jaejoong was teary as he was explaining everything to Yunho. He knew that Yunho will not accept his decision and he’s waiting for the man’s word or a break-up for the worst scenario.

“Baby, look at me..” Yunho encourage Jaejoong as he pulled his face close to him and look into his eyes.

“Freedom. You want freedom?” Yunho ask Jaejoong as he hold his face and look into his eyes.

“Yes… I want freedom to be with you.” Jaejoong said while tears flowing in his eyes.

“You know how scared I am when you announced the concert and Changmin was beside me that time scolding me for not knowing the reason. And I thought I’d lost you right at that moment.” Yunho said while holding back his tears.

“I’m sorry Yunho. I don’t want to put pressure on you just because I yearn to be free. But I did it, baby. I’m so sorry. I’m so fed up with our situation that all I want to do is to be with you and just let the people say whatever they want say. We’re too old to hide whatever we have for each other. We’ve been together for almost 2 decades. I don’t want to hide you anymore. I don’t want to hide this beautiful love that we have. Yunho, we both deserve to be happy. I want us to be happy.. and free.” Jaejoong said as he cries in Yunho’s arm. Yunho holds him and cries too but he is ready for this.

“Baby, will you marry me?”

“I told you how many times that I will answer yes to that. Just let me be emotional for now and I miss you. I miss you so much.” Jaejoong rants but he is immediately pulled out from Yunho’s arm and he’s about to rant again when he saw Yunho kneeling down and while holding a ring.

“Yunho—what? I mean- I” Jaejoong cannot continue. He is shock.

“Will you marry me and spent the rest of your life with me?” Yunho said looking at Jaejoong with his teary eyes. He will never let go of this man. This time, he will make sure of it. He was so scared when Jaejoong did not even let him know his plans and everything that he wanted to do after their vacation but after spending those sleepless nights thinking about his love, his Jaejoong, he decided to be free. Yes, free.

“I know that you did not tell me your plans of resigning from the industry because you are afraid of being held back from your decisions and I understand. I also know that you will never tell it to your fans about us because you are thinking about me again. This time Jaejoong, let’s do it together. I want to be free with you.” Yunho said and he can see Jaejoong crying again. This man, he got swollen eyes because of crying during his concert and Yunho doubled it for making him the happiest man on earth.

“I talked to your parents and ask permission for this. Your mom laughed at me because according to her I don’t need any permission from them because they knew that they gave their son to me the first day I was introduced as your boyfriend to them. Your father wanted me to make our ceremony as intimate as possible because he knew that you want a wedding like that.” Jaejoong laughed while tears are flowing down on his cheek.

“Marry me, Jaejoong. Make me the happiest man on earth.”

“GUYS JAEJOONG POSTED ON HIS IG! LOOK! GO!”

“WAIT!”

“OHMYGOSH! NO WAY!”

“GUYS IM CRYING LITERALLY.”

“SHUT UP!!!!”

“Guys.. this is it.”

“AS PROMISED, HE POSTED IT. NOW TIME FOR ME TO KEEP MY PROMISE.”

“JAEJOONG! THANK YOU FOR KEEPING YOUR PROMISE!”

“SKFLJSFKSAFLSDS CASSIOPEIA, THIS IS IT!!”

Different reactions from the fans after Jaejoong posted a picture on his Instagram account. His groupie with the gang with a caption “The FIVE major organs, reunited.”

Three days later after dropping the bomb to all the cassies, Jaejoong posted another one again and this time. It’s not five but two.

It’s him and Yunho. He posted it during the celebration of their anniversary together with their fans.

IG POST CAPTION:

“No more holding back. I love you, Jung Yunho. Let’s start with forever?”

Yunho replied: “Forever it is, Jaejoong. I love you too.”

And the fandom? Don’t ask anymore. Just imagine the chaos and the number of dead fans tweeting about it.

----------

The end.