It was five days ago since her parents told her the news. She never imagined being far away from home; a place where her life began. She was born there, was raised there and she had memories there. They never left the country, not even once. Indeed, she went for short vacations once in a while inside the country.

Despite the traumatic memory, she would never leave her birthplace. She is too afraid of travelling, on top of that, a place with different nation language. Korea is her mother’s nation country, thus, she can speak Korean fluently per to her mother’s rules to speak Korean at home ever since she was just a little girl. She has always been a bright and intelligent girl in contempt of her medical condition. Her father once said, if she's ever become normal, she will surely, no doubt, going to be a successful woman just like her mother.

She packs her belongings in defiance of her heavy heart, she had to leave, leaving the memories behind. Her heart is thumping and pounding, hard and loud, people might even hear it. She is in complete denial, hoping to stay but she knew she had to follow her parents' decisions. Questions clouding up her mind, thinking how will she ever survive in a complete new environment, new people and new culture. Will she be able finds her happiness there, making new friends and finding new hobbies?

To her, she is just a weak and helpless girl.

 A seventeen year old girl with a serious illness. Kim Hannah, was born in England on May 15. Her mother, Kim Hee Ae, a pure Korean woman, married for twenty years to a mixed Korean-British man named Ricky Lee Neely. After three years of not having any child, finally they conceived a pair of beautiful female twins, taking the surname of their mother. Kim Hannah was born five minutes after her twin sister, Kim Hailey.

Although being born as twins, their personalities and characters are major different from each other. Even their health conditions were different which Hannah was born abnormal with a heart disease whilst Hailey was born healthy. Hailey was a sporty kind of girl who loves sports with a hint of ladylike manner. Hannah on the other hand, is a graceful, gentle and modest type of girl. One thing her family loves about her is she was always a cheerful girl who never gives up on her life knowing her family supported her. She was in fact the loudest one in the family, always making everyone laugh.

Kim Hailey was everything to her. She bet bottom dollar on her twin sister like her life depends on it. They were very indistinguishable by physical appearance but only their mother could tell the diversity. Sometimes, Hannah felt slightly jealous of her sister. Hailey was born healthy and lived her life perfectly the way Hannah fantasized of. Hailey was one of the best students in her school, ace most in her academics, conjointly loved by many teachers and students. Au contraire, Hannah has never; not officially registered in schools. Her indisposition has constantly stopped her from going.

In any event, Hailey constantly be her source of strength to cheer her up, taking care of her. Hailey skipped school once in a blue moon just to let Hannah disguise as her. Per to a mother's intuitions, Hee Ae perceived it right away but pretended to not notice, for a change, Hailey had to silently attend the class to watch over Hannah from a distance. Hannah has once lost consciousness at school, as a consequence, Hailey was blamed by their parents, instead of complaining, Hailey understood his sister’s situation. 

It has been a year since Hailey died after a tragic incident. Hannah began ultimately changed to the opposite of her natural character. She became quiet, in fact too quiet since the death of her twin sister. She lost her sister, her soul, her everything. Hailey was always there to help Hannah survives. Hailey took really good care of Hannah, as long as Hailey was there, Hannah will never be in harm.

Hannah is no longer the cheerful, bubbly girl. She always staring at bliss of nothing. She knew, Hailey will eternally be there with her, inside her; the heart that she has is the heart of Hailey’s. Hailey managed to donate her heart after she died, Hannah was devastated. Unfortunately, six months after transplanting the heart, it also failed to function like it used to, probably due to Hannah’s history of the illness and the heart was incompatible for her.

Hannah got the heart disease again, as she constantly felt useless for wasting Hailey’s good heart condition. Being identical twins does not really mean they are going to share everything. Hailey’s heart was in fact incompatible for Hannah to keep. Everything back to square one, Hannah has to find a new heart donor. She felt sorry and regretted but her mother always remind her of it was never her fault. She knew her mother was only trying to cheer her.

She continues packing every little thing she used to have. Hannah grabbed a picture frame from her dresser, staring deep on the picture; a picture of her and her dead twin. They were each, holding an umbrella under a drizzling rain. Both wore short skirts and plain short sleeves T-shirt as they were smiling and laughing in the rain. Tears began rolling. Kim Hannah misses her twin sister a lot.

It was indeed, a great memory.

'Hailey, I'll be leaving now. Take care of our house. I'll be back soon.'

It took 30 minutes to arrive at the airport. They were late for their departure. Luckily, they made it. Hannah is wearing knee length skirt in white, a long white blouse with pink floral patterns and cute pink ribbon headband while listening to her iPod. Her white sneakers matches her outfit, fancy and stylish.

Hannah steps into the plane, meeting the eyes of a beautiful Korean stewardess. Her hair was in a low bun hairstyle, wearing quite heavy makeup, a flawless touch like professionals, a ribbon scarf tied on her neck matching her neat stewardess uniform in red colour. The stewardess smiles brightly to Hannah, welcoming her. Hannah replies with a low soft tone thank you to the stewardess, admiring her at the same time, wishing to be as tall and as beautiful as the woman.

There are two seats in every row in the airplane for business class, Hee Ae will be sitting next to her daughter. Hannah naturally picks the window seat and slowly sat down while her father took their hand carries away.

"Are you sure you want to sit by the window? Or maybe we can exchange our seats?" Hee Ae asked, worried as her daughter wishes to be seated by the window. 

Hannah flashes a cute smile to her mother and showed her a thumbs up, "it's ok mom. I want to see the plane takes off and I want to take pictures of the sky. I'll be fine." 

Several hours passed since they flew to Korea. Still, the girl stares outside the window, watching the beautiful sky. Only white, empty sky. But she almost saw her passed memories, her future and everything in the white sky. It was beautiful.

While enjoying her view, her chest abruptly felt a slight of pain; her heart is throbbing painfully. She held onto her chest, her expression immediately turns bitter. She glances to her right side; where her mother is seating. mutters, calling for her mother but unfortunately, her mother was soundly asleep, wearing a pair of eye cover. She turns away, refusing to burden her parents for unnecessary thing, try and be more independent. Hannah leans back on the seat, slightly rubbing her chest while taking several deep breaths. She felt her pulsing heart, trying her best to ease the pain on her own. In a swift movement, Hannah grabs her iPod on her lap slowly plugging a pair of earphone in her ears, switching to her favourite songs and eventually falls asleep.

A few blinks through a high sky all the way to Korea, they finally arrived. They are standing in front of a beautiful medium sized bungalow in a beautiful neighbourhood. The house is a perfect size for Hannnah and her family, probably has five bedrooms with five bathrooms, one kitchen, two living rooms and a small house pool. Hannah, the first one to step inside the house getting an eyeful of the beautiful furnitures, ideally organized. The designs are amazing just like a dream house; a perfect house for a small family.

Hannah inspected the house even more, surprisingly took a sharp breath as she sees a medium sized white piano in the middle of the house. She drops her bag from her hand, slowly approaching the piano. She brushes gently the piano with the tip of her fingers, a big smile creeps on her face, moon over the precious piano. Hannah is the only family member who is very good at playing piano. Even Hailey was not as good as her, just like Hannah could not be as good as Hailey in sports. Both have each others’ talents and they all different from one another.

A hand smoothly landed on her left shoulder. Her mother, smiles at her, "go on, this is for you." Hee Ae whispered, encouraging to her daughter.

Hannah rolls her eyes back to the piano. She slowly placed herself on the stool, her hands still on the cover of the piano, slowly lifting the cover and gasps amused. 

"It's been a while since I played a piano," she admitted. 

Mrs. Hee Ae only smiled to her daughter who is pleased, having a piano as a gift. Her husband who was bringing the luggage inside, stopped as he sees his beloved daughter admiring his gift for her.

"Play a song for us," her father proudly requested. Hannah glimpse to her father and shot a sincere smile. 

Her fingers gently touches the piano keys, starts to play a song; a favourite melody of her dead twin. She played the melody with full concentration, feeling and reminiscing the memories in her heart. Those memories between she and her twins can never be destroyed. Those memories will remain in her heart. Literally.

After setting her things in the bedroom, Hannah went outside to take some fresh cold air. As she was standing on her bedroom balcony, she saw some students walk themselves home after their school day. She smiled to herself imagining herself as one of them, thinking how much she misses her moments of sneaking herself with the help of Hailey to school. Before she realized, tears rolling down her pink cheeks.

"I miss Hailey too," her mother appeared, gently placing her right hand on Hannah’s right shoulder, expressing her feelings as she understands her daughter's true heart. 

Hannah looked up to her mother and forcibly smiled, "it was my fault. Right, mom?"

"Stop blaming yourself, sweetie. It was definitely her fate and destiny. Besides, she wouldn’t like it if you keep on blaming yourself though." 

Her mother has always been the best at comforting. Hee Ae comforts her daughter with a motherly hug. She never blamed Hannah for the death of her first child. She knew, Hailey sacrificed her life for her beloved ill twin sister. 

A few days of getting to know the neighbourhood, on a refreshing morning, Hannah goes for a morning walk and stopped by the nearest convenient store to buy some food for afternoon snacks. Her small steps eventually led her to a school nearby and see many students walk into the school, wearing uniforms. With a cold breeze blowing her face, her eyes flickers and on spur of moment a body knocks her body hard from behind making her fall to the ground.

“Hey, are you okay? Here, take my hand,” a school boy probably older than her, holding out his right hand to her.

Hannah gently takes his hand and the boy helps her up, her stunned face still showing after knocking her off. The boy is wearing a neat school uniform with a blue school blazer and his hair is very neatly combed. The boy is quite handsome in her silent opinion as she stares at the boy’s face. However, the boy has sharp features which he looks fierce but gentle at the same time; a stoic looking boy. Hannah was too immersed, staring at the boy, she does not realize the boy’s calling out for her.

“Excuse me? Are you okay? Can you hear me?” the boy waved his hand in front of her face a few times since she is almost likely being hypnotized.

“I’m sorry for knocking you off. It was my fault because I was busy checking on my phone,” he continued as soon as Hannah broke out from her long stare.

She slightly shakes her head,“em, yeah I’m fine. I-”

“Hey, what are you still doing here? I thought you went on ahead,” another male student around the same age, looking as handsome as the first one, lightly smacking on his back.

“Oh hey, who’s this? Is she your friend?” the same boy asked as he sees Hannah standing in front of his friend, still looking stunned for absolutely no reason.

“Look, we’re late so we better go now”, the first boy who knocked her off announced, not moving his gaze from her.

“Yeah you’re right. And you, see you soon.”

Hannah didn’t get the chance to respond to any of them as the stoic boy turned his heels on, walking away after sharing a warm glance and a short nod to her. Although, the other boy managed to wave his goodbye, smiling at her and followed behind his friend. Hannah, who is still mesmerized by them, continues to watch them until they disappear from her sight.

‘Must be fun to be a student. I wish I could be like them.’  

Hannah’s situation has never been easy, she is not like her late sister who got to do everything, ever so freely. As of Hannah, there is always something in her way, her illness never allows her to do anything without having herself feeling sick and weak. Kim Hannah is just a burden to everyone. She missed her days sneaking out to disguise as Hailey just to go to school, doing activities which she barely allowed to do, as long as Hailey was there to keep an eye for her. She missed communicating with people around her age. A burden indeed she is. Even her mother; a successful doctor had to quit her job just to look after a sick daughter like herself.

Hailey gave her the heart she needed but she failed to keep it well. Everything about her will only leads to a failure. She does not deserve to be loved by anyone, not even her own family. Seeing upon the school environment making her crave for that kind of opportunity. She needs that opportunity. 

‘What if I talk to mom and dad, make them believe I am capable of going to school? At least before I die..’

It was a quiet moment at the dining table. The Kim family is having a dinner together; serving each of them a plate of 2 large pieces of fish fillets with side dishes and some vegetables with sauces and a glass of orange juice. Hannah sits across her mother while her father is at the head of the dining table. Her whole body is fidgeting, feet tapping anxiously and barely feed herself the food in front of her. Hannah puts her fork and knife gently on the plate, stealing a few glances towards her parents, still anxious.

"Mom, dad? Can we talk?" she finally voiced out.

Both Ricky and his wife share the same curious expressions. Hannah breathes heavily as she is too nervous to speak out her mind, she knows where the conversation might lead too, although, she has to try. Her voice becomes shaky. 

"What is it honey?" her mother asked, paused in the middle of eating. Her husband lifts his eyebrows showing his curiosity.

Hannah inhaled deeply, staring at the food on the table. She blinks her eyes once, "I- I think I've made my decision."

"What decision?" Ricky who is still dumbfounded, stabbing the fish from his plate into his mouth. 

"I want to register in school," she finally spoke out.

"Please mom, dad. Please let me do this. Just this once," she continued.

Her bravery made her father who was chewing his food, choked uncontrollably. He reached his left hand out grabbing his orange juice, taking a few sips before regaining his breath again. 

"What do you think you're doing Hannah? Do you even realized how sick you are? Why do you even want to go to school? You've been home schooling just fine. If you are worried of your future, well you don't have too. My wealth is enough for you and your future family!" 

Ricky has never been so straightforward to his children before. He was always the cool type of man, listening to his family and smiled once in a while as a respond. Not once he'd ever raises his voice towards them; a patient man he is. This time around, he is slightly angry with Hannah's bold and ignorant statements. Surely, him and his wife sacrificed a lot for their child. It was different back when Hailey was still alive. Both parents did not need to worry too much on Hannah because of their first child being very mature and responsible looking after Hannah. Their youngest child was quite mischievous, causing all of them worried of her well being, refused having her doing vigorous activities which eventually tire herself down. 

After the death of Hailey, Hee Ae quit her job as an associate director at a hospital in their home country. Her mother has been a doctor there for the longest they can remember and people were fond of her very much. It was a shame for her to quit her job. However, everyone was being very understanding of their tight situation, not having a trustworthy guardian for Hannah. They used to have 3 so-called responsible babysitter for Hannah in within only 4 weeks and all of them turned out to be very irresponsible; one of them invited her boyfriend to the house, asking Hannah to stay up in her bedroom throughout the day; another one always sleeps on her job, leaving Hannah all alone, having herself to find her own food; and another one was an unlovable person who gets cranky all the time. 

Still stunned with her father's slightly higher voice tone, Hannah looked at her father deep into his eyes, looking for an answer why her father got angry in the first place. Hannah has always been a strong girl but being scolded is one of her weakness, causing her legs turned to jelly. She could not hold her tears much longer especially after the high voice tone from her father, her tears rolled down her cheeks drastically. She jumps from her seat, slightly bowing to adults and run upstairs. 

Hannah slams the door shut, throws herself on the bed, smacking the pillow with anger and regrets, "why do have this illness? Why is everything so difficult with my life? Hailey died.. because of me! I brought adversity to my surroundings. I hate myself! Why din't I just die?!"

Just then, a soft knock came from the door. Hannah ignores, continuing her cries. She covers her face with the pillow. The door slowly opens exposing her mother at the door with a soft smile. Hee Ae gently approaching her crying child, sitting on the bed next to Hannah, her left hand grabbing Hannah's arm which were both already on the pillow above her face. 

"Hey, remember when we were baking a cake for dad?"

Hannah who intended to ignore her mother, slowly removing the pillow from her face, attracted her attention with an approachable topic. Her mother knows her very well, Hannah loves topics related to Hailey. Hannah took a peak at her mother who is already smiling softly to her with a cute wink. Hannah gently fixes her position as her mother fixes hers, laying herself down beside her child.