Dimmed lights – the stage was lit.

Renjun distinguished his brother who was standing in the middle. It was a given, everyone literally had their eyes on Sicheng and the other dancer who was a bit shorter than his brother. They stood across each other, his brother wearing a blue grey turtle neck and black stretchable pants, while the other was wearing the same pants – white in color this time accompanied by loose and silky white long sleeves. They were both looking simple yet charming with the spot light on them.

“Isn’t he the son of the Yi Xing?”

“Oh yes, he certainly is.”

“So he followed his famous father’s footsteps, what a fine young man.”

Renjun’s ears perked up a bit at that. Many people were whispering, talking about his father albeit too excitedly after they saw his brother. It was too obvious with the way some people were glancing at their direction as they did so. He knew his father was extremely prominent in that world of dancing, but he had already retired. Renjun had not even bother asking before why after he found out about it. His father beside him unsurprisingly wasn’t fazed at all, eyes steady on the stage. So, Renjun was not going to let it get to him either. He reclined on his seat, settling down his arms on the arm rests.

The murmurs of the audience soon died down. Slowly, the sounds of Billie Eilish and Khalid’s song, ‘lovely’, streamed out the speakers, filling the room with its soft beat thoroughly.

Sicheng began. He held his left hand up to meet the other’s right hand in his, sliding down – letting go. Their gazes at each other were quite intense, emotional – almost a longing feeling mixed with apprehension.

The first heavenly vocals of the song crooned out, both holding out to touch the side of each other’s necks sensually. Snapping their hands outward, both then looked in opposite directions. They swept their arms outwards – meeting right in the middle, lifting their bodies up before going down in a sitting position, knees up, while facing each other.

They both danced on the floor, steering their flexible legs and arms with lovely and flowing lines. The shorter guy pulled Sicheng over to the floor in a routine and with one twirl of his knees, Sicheng was standing up behind him. Sicheng pulled up the other’s right hand, smoothly twisting their bodies to the left then to the right in a position that had his partner reach the floor with his left hand. Sicheng then advanced to the back of the kneeling guy, holding the front of the shorter’s neck – in a choking gesture with his right hand as his lips ran dangerously close, from the shoulders to the wide expanse of neck, barely touching. The shorter all the while reaching out with his hand dramatically – Sicheng lets go and the boy dropped to the floor.

They both spun in unison. Sicheng, with a lift of his feet, jumped off in a cartwheel in the air with great finesse. The other matched Sicheng’s pace as he also lifted his legs and effortlessly pivoted his hips from a lying position to a standing one.

It knocked the breath out of Renjun. He found his self not being able to look away, eyes hooked on the performance in front of him. His insides started to swell in an emotional turmoil. What he felt at the moment was indescribable.

The routine continued, and with the first strung of Bilie Eilish’s line, ‘Isn’t she lovely’, both had tugged at the heartstrings of every single person in the audience with their fiery passion for dance, Renjun included.

Both whirled in the air in a spin, continuing on with a vigorous yet harmonic and rhythmically sound contemporary dance routine. They both looked ethereal just like that, dancing their hearts out.

Unconsciously, Renjun slid his right hand to his right denim pocket, feeling if that special envelop was still there. For him, it had slowly become a reminder of his growing self-worth. That what happened at all earlier wasn’t a fantasy he had made up in his mind – that he wasn’t crazy as he thought himself to be.

It was there.

He fiddled with it lightly, letting out a big sigh of relief.

People slowly stood up. The rising applause signaled the end of the performance. His brother’s figure in the distance slowly thinned out, disappearing in a blur until all he saw were the backs of people in a standing ovation.

From the corner of his eyes, Renjun saw his mother stand up with a huge smile, whistling and shouting softly a ‘Bravo!’. Beside him, he also felt his father stand after his mother, a dimple adorned those cheeks as he proudly grinned at what his brother just exhibited.

Renjun squeezed the envelope in his pocket – fists clenching tightly.

When will his parents smile for him like that?

 

After his hyung’s recital was over, the family of four went to a fancy Chinese restaurant down town. Renjun had pulled up a chair as they got to the table Yixing had reserved for them and sat right across Sicheng. His father was to his right side while his mother sat to Sicheng’s left.

The food they ordered had yet to make its appearance and needless to say, Renjun found it relatively awkward. He couldn’t even bring his phone out of his pocket, he didn’t want to hear another set of scolding from his mother, on table manners this time. Especially not in the time where his brother was basked in the light of another life achievement. He’ll never hear the end of it.

He went for the disposable wooden chopsticks instead and pulled it out of its paper wrap. He snapped its interconnecting head into two then drew circles on the plate as if it was the most interesting thing in the world at the moment. Because one, he needed to stay sane – he can feel his brother’s stare burning into him.

On the other hand, Sicheng was looking at Renjun with mixed feelings – he should be happy after just receiving endless praises from many different significant personalities who were present earlier in his recital. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to. Not when he was looking at his younger brother who had an expression close to hate and envy. He emitted a long, deep, sigh expressing tiredness, or of a similar feeling.

Renjun felt his heart squeezed a bit. If this were any other normal family, he could imagine himself talking to his hyung normally. They could even be joking around about random things right now. They could share their thoughts and sentiments on almost anything. They could be talking about that new episode of The Untamed series that they both civilly liked to watch as it aired on the television at their living room.

They could be.

The waiter arrived with their food at the right time. Renjun cleared his throat, his brother averting his eyes away from the younger. Now that they got out of that awkward silence, they gradually felt hunger knocking on their empty tummies. The scent of fried food run through their nostrils. It had both brothers almost salivating in a second.

Yixing smiled at them as food was served. “Eat up, boys.”

Renjun chewed at the end of his chopsticks as he stared at the sweet and sour shrimps. He glanced up to his parents. He held his bowl of rice in his left hand, waiting. As much as he was hungry, it would be rude to take a piece for himself. There was this silent rule in their culture that elders should eat first.

But it doesn’t seem like the rules applied at the moment.

“Sichengiee, here you go~” His mother cooed as she grabbed the biggest piece of shrimp off the oval plate and set it down on top of his hyung’s steaming bowl of rice.

Sicheng, a bit flustered at the gesture, thanked his mother softly. He nervously glanced at Renjun. Renjun was eyeing at the piece of shrimp in a subdued glare.

Renjun wanted that.

Renjun looked away and towards his mother expectantly. His mother was currently spooning out some beef stew from the pot to her small bowl. “Mom-?” He called out.

His mother raised an eyebrow as she placed down her bowl on the table. “What is it now, Renjun? Why are you not eating yet? Don’t let the food wait.” She chided without even paying the slightest of attention to his youngest son.

Renjun felt his heart broke a little. He grabbed a shrimp for his self, furiously stabbing at it, and stuffed it into his mouth angrily. He was fuming a bit. Sicheng sighed and shook his head as he was watching the younger the whole time. He grabbed his chopsticks and started to fill himself too.

It was silent for a while, everyone too hungry to talk. The chatter of other customers and clatter of utensils were occasionally heard. That was until the head of the family broke the silence.

Yixing sipped at his cold tea, placing it down the table. He looked at his oldest son with a warm smile. “Sicheng, you were great today. Your balance definitely improved a lot since the last show, you must’ve practiced a lot.”

Sicheng smiled back. “I’m glad my hard work’s paying off, thanks dad!”

“Oh honey, watching our son today brought me back to your golden days.” Victoria chimed in, giggling. She looked at her husband and then at her son with a doting smile. “You’re just like your father, he was also one of the best during the prime years of his dancing career!”

“But mom-“ Sicheng whined a bit, feeling embarrassed. “I’m not even at dad’s level yet.”

Rejnun almost rolled his eyes at that as he stuffed a shrimp ball in his mouth, chewing silently.

Yixing shook his head. “Don’t say that son. You don’t have to be like me. I know that you will be better than me someday.” He gave a fond smile. “After all, the harder you work the luckier you will be.”

Sicheng chuckled. “I’ll worker even harder then so that I will surpass all of your expectations.”

Renjun snorted loudly.

Victoria frowned at his younger son’s reaction, she reached for the pitcher of tea and poured some to her glass as she spoke calmly. “Renjun, do you think you’ll go anywhere with that attitude of yours? Did I raise you to be like that? Show some respect. You should be more like your brother.” She placed the pitcher down and lifts the edge of the glass to her lips.

Renjun’s hand froze midway in his conquest for another shrimp ball, looking up to see Sicheng’s eyes on him. His father had stopped eating with an unreadable expression on his face, eyebrows furrowed. His mother was drinking tea with her eyes closed.

He didn’t feel hungry anymore. He retracted his hand and forced himself to swallow the food that he is chewing.

“Look at your brother, at his age he garnered a lot of attention already.” She continued to speak, opening her eyes. “His grades are excellent and his dancing is flawless. He could be out there right now signing contracts with famous companies with one flicker. How about you, Renjun? What have you achieved-“

“Victoria…” Yixing interrupted in a warning tone looking at his wife across him sharply. Yet, she continued.

“You don’t even have any talent other than singing!” She rasps out. “You were always good at singing and yet you didn’t even try to develop it. What a waste! Look at Chenle and Donghyuck, they have beautiful voices. I’m frankly disappointed. You shouldn’t be all too comfortable, you’re being careless in your life.” She spat, placing down her glass to look at Renjun.  “You should learn from your brother, Renjun.”

Renjun bit his lower lip. He sees Sicheng glancing at him with an apologetic expression in his eyes.

Pity, Renjun didn’t like that.

“Your grades are nothing close, and all you have done this summer was go outside and play with your friends. For pete’s sake! You’re 18. What are your plans son-!? You have not even made a decision for your future! Don’t go off being the failure son of mine, what would others say about your older brother if they found out about you-“

“Enough!” Renjun slammed his hand on the table, shooting up from his seat. His ears were red from hearing all of that bull. He was beyond pissed off, a scowl was on his face. His arms trembled slightly.

Everyone froze, looking at their youngest with shock. Other people from nearby tables started looking at the commotion, some stopped eating to look, and some restaurant employees peered at them from the countertops. Whispers of people had Yixing to first snap out and break the tense atmosphere. He stood up and inclined his head and body downwards at the people who got their meals and work interrupted.

“My apologies everyone, there’s nothing to look here. Please continue your meals.” He gave a bright smile, everyone shrugging off to mind their own businesses. After a bit, he returned to his seat as the talk died down.

Yixing sighed deeply, looking up to his son who was still standing to his right. “Injun.” He calls.

“My apologies, father.” Renjun mumbled softly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. He sat back down on his seat.

Victoria was gritting her teeth. She opened to scold Renjun. “Huang Renjun, you-“ Yixing placed his hand on top of hers that was on the table, squeezing. He looked at his wife with a warning expression that had her close in an instant.

Yixing smiled, he turned to his son. “Injun, do you have something to say?” He asks sweetly.

Renjun shut his eyes, groaning. Does he? He reached for his pocket hesitantly, pulling out the envelope and placing it on the table as he tried to calm himself down.

Sicheng’s eyes widens at the really familiar insignia planted on the wax seal – it was of NCT University of the Arts, the one and only most prestigious art-centered university in their country where only the best of the best students are invited to come and study under various famous instructors. It was every artistic child’s dream school, and is also currently the one Sicheng is attending to.

So why does his young brother have a recommendation letter?

Victoria gasped as she slowly recognized the piece of object that Renjun just showed. It was the same one Sicheng had received around two years ago. Yixing looked at it with interest. “Oh?” He mused.

“I-I... I got it earlier-” Renjun fidgets a bit in his seat as he explained. “There was this amazing artist at uncle Myeon’s café! He was the one that made that fresh beautiful painting on the wall you liked earlier mother.” He glanced up to his mom, the fire in his eyes growing. “He said… He said I have the talent and potential – contrary to what you just said of me not having any. For once in my life, I think I can actually do it, if you both just allow me to-“

“No.” His mother rebuked. Renjun’s heart fell.

“But mom-“

Victoria seethed. “Renjun, how many do I have to say no? No.” She glared. “Talent? Potential? For what? Young man, don’t bring any more shame to this family-“

“No.” Sicheng broke in, tapping his fingers on the table.  They all looked at him in surprise. He looked up at their parents with a firm gaze. “I think Injun can do it, father… mother…”

Victoria shuts up again, contemplating what to say next. Sicheng saw that and continued.

“I don’t know about shame, mother. For all I know, Renjun has not done anything bad to bring shame into this family.” Sicheng looks at Renjun with soft eyes. Renjun’s cheeks light up in a pinkish tint. He grunts and looks down. Sicheng tittered. “You have my support, little brother. Go for it.”

Yixing sighed and turned to his youngest once again. “Are you sure about this?”

Renjun nodded slowly. “I-I know I have no outstanding qualities, as you implied so, mother. I don’t know what I want to do, all I know is mediocre singing. I know-“ He looks up to meet Sicheng’s eyes. “I’m never gonna be like my brother… I know-“ He then turns to meet his father’s eyes. “I know that I have bad abilities or neither do I have the experience but after meeting that hyung, I began to dream. I want to make amazing pieces like him.” He had never been this sure in his life before. “I want to be a full-fledged artist.”

“Well then,” Yixing clasps both of his together and gave his son his famous dimpled smile, “Excellent! You have my full support too, son.”

 

Sunday rolled around. Renjun plopped himself on the white ceramic floor tiles of his small room. His luggage and things were sprawled out in front of him. He grabbed his phone and messaged his friends in their small group chat, snickering.

IMoomin: I’ll miss you two, rascals.

He then pressed his finger on the little camera icon, lifting his phone – free hand in a peace sign. He grinned, clicking on the white round button. He sent the picture of him packing up his things to the two.

Hyuck almost immediately replied.

FullSun: We love you too Injun, just be straight with us- though we’re not straight, be straight- ;)

PresidentLe: wenk wenk ;)

Let’s just say that Renjun left his friends on seen after. They can manage.

Renjun put down his phone on the floor to the right side of his legs. He grabbed his clothes and folded them before neatly arranging them on his luggage. He also grabbed some of his essentials, the usual toiletries, and some skin care products and tossed it on top of his pile of clothes. He moved to his knees then stood up as he took a look over his desk. He saw the documents again, that one unanswered question he left winking back at him.

He smiled, grabbing a black pen and without hesitation marked a check next to his desired outcome, Fine Arts.

He grabbed his cream folder and shoved the documents inside carefully, hand stopping over the envelope that Taeyong had given him. He sat on his bed as he stared at it for the umpteenth time that particular day, eyes twinkling. He thought about his artist hyung again, reminiscing their brief encounter yesterday. He let his back fall freely over the soft confines of his bed, landing in a soft thud as he stared at the white ceiling above him.

Renjun can’t get the other out of his mind. He wondered if they’ll be able to meet again, at all.

“Tomorrow will be good.” He whispers, eyes gradually falling to the temptations of slumber as he imagined Taeyong waiting for him at the flower fields with a beautiful smile etched on his face.

 

The morning rays slipped through the glass windows of the Huang household. Renjun regretted under his breath for packing so much as he lifted his pretty heavy luggage in small steps down the flight of stairs. He peeked, groaning in realization that he still had a long way to go.

“Great-,“ He didn’t even get to start complaining, “Ahkk-!” He yelped loudly as the handle of the baggage slipped away from his hands. He shuts his eyes, not wanting to see what would happen next, and waited for the loud slam of the luggage when it lands at the bottom of their stairs.

But it never came.

He blinked once, then twice, then thrice.

“Clumsy, aigoo~” He felt a breath giggle down his neck, he yelps again and turns around to see his older brother with a beguiling smile. Sicheng, who happened to follow behind him shortly, had grabbed the handle of his luggage with his quick reflexes. “Let me carry this for you, xiao di~” The older teased, bringing Renjun to a blushing fit.

Renjun huffed and arranged his white cap on his head, pulling tightly on the strap of his small black backpack on his back. “Gee, thanks.” He grumbled as he stomped down the stairs.

Sicheng didn’t mind as he followed the other downstairs, smile never leaving his face. His brother just talked to him, it was more than enough already. At least, something was changing, and it was good.

After Sicheng settled Renjun’s luggage on the compartment at the back of the car, he dropped himself inside the passenger seat of their car, just beside Renjun. Sicheng blinked as he came in with the other’s eyes staring holes into him.

“Is something on my face-?” Sicheng asks, patting his cheeks with his fingers. He felt nothing out of the blue. Renjun shook his head in response and looked away. Sicheng smiled, shrugging as he closed the door behind him.

“Ready to go, kids?” Yixing, from the driver’s seat, glanced at his two sons from their reflection on the rearview mirror. Sicheng smiled and nodded at his father.

Renjun sighed. His mother apparently did not want to come with them. He then snorted at the thought, but still nonetheless she was still his mother even if she did not believe that Renjun is capable of achieving something. Not to mention that he will surely miss his mother’s pies.

As the car made its long trip down the city, Yixing the radio to some new trendy song that Renjun somewhat recognizes is from some idol group in one of his two friends’ bickering episode on who was the most handsome and what not. Yixing was glancing at them from time to time, but Sicheng was minding his own business texting someone on his phone while Renjun was glancing at the sceneries they were passing by outside the window. Yixing smiled at that as he stepped on the pedal, prompting the car to go faster and arrive at their destination quicker.

 

As they arrived at the city, Renjun felt his stomach churn. His white cap was long forgotten, thrown away somewhere on the space between him and Sicheng. Was it nervousness? Excitement? Renjun couldn’t comprehend but all he knows is that his nerves were tingling in the prospect of what would be waiting for him as they got nearer.

“There’s no turning back.” He thought silently, the car going further into the city and with a turn of the wheels, it broke into a gradually elevating road with trees abundant on the left side and the view of the city growing smaller on his right.

They were going up, Renjun realized in slight panic as he whipped his head to look at Sicheng who didn’t seem bothered at all.

“H-Hyung..” He called out meekly, bringing the other’s attention on him.

Sicheng tilts his head a bit, his brother was talking to him again. “Yes?” He sits up properly, turning off his phone.

Renjun looked at him with wide eyes. “Why do I feel like there are less and less people around? I never knew the university was located upwards- Heck, I didn’t even know there was a mountainous area within the city-,“ He wheezed out, emphasizing his point by looking outside the window again. So far, he had only counted one vehicle that passed by their own – and it was a small bus.

Sicheng giggled at that. “I was surprised the first time too, honestly. There are a lot of things