Hitomi is content about where she is in life, most of the time.

And whenever she isn’t, she would try to do everything she could to rectify that. She practiced dancing under her mother’s watch when she discovered that she loved the art. She learned handcrafting so pretty things could be created through her own hands. She took up writing so she could reflect more clearly on herself. She signed up for Produce 48 because staying still made her unsatisfied—

And on, and on, and on.

So when the phrase ‘I hate it here’ becomes a buzzword among the maknae line of IZ*ONE, Yujin and Nako throwing it into the chat every ten or so posts, she doesn’t really use it often. Because she rarely feels that way, feeling mostly fine with where she is—both figuratively and literally.

Well.

Well, except perhaps right now.

“I,” Hitomi enunciates, “don’t like that look on you two.” She squints her eyes at Nako and Minjoo who are now busy crowding at the door of her bedroom, blocking her way out.

“But Hii-chan!” Nako sings, “We just want to ask you a question—”

“The answer is always no.”

Minjoo feigns a pained gasp. “We were going to ask if you liked me!”

“Wednesday, January 8th. Dear diary, today Kim Minjoo burnt a hole through my left sock because she got distracted while ironing—”

“Okay maybe you had a good reason to not like me,” Minjoo weakly amends.

“Wait, you start your daily entries with ‘dear diary’?” Nako asks, sounding worryingly interested.

Hitomi ignores Nako’s question and crosses her arms in front of her chest, staring at Minjoo with lips pulled down into a frown. It was her favourite pair of socks and while her mother had gotten her a new pair—the exact replica of it—she still hasn’t gotten her hands on them yet, for various reasons. At the look, Minjoo shrinks a little, sheepishly scratching her right cheek with one finger.

“No but seriously,” Nako starts, finally stepping through the door. “This is a very important question for us.” Minjoo follows her quietly, towering from behind. Nako grabs the nearby chair and promptly flings one leg over, sitting on it backwards and propping her arms on its headrest.

“Today is Saturday,” Hitomi begins warily, glancing at the calendar hung on the wall. “Shouldn’t you two be with Chaeyeon-unnie, learning English? I thought that was your plan yesterday?”

“That’s the thing,” Minjoo amicably replies, standing straighter to appear reasonable. Damn tall people and their advantageous height. “We were actually studying with her an hour ago and in the middle of a discussion we just—”

“What would come up in your mind when we mention Aphrodite?” Nako cuts in.

Hitomi blinks. She looks at the both of them and sees them staring at her right back, expressions unnervingly serious. Nako would have had a twitch to the corner of her lips if this would end in a meme while Minjoo has a problem hiding things from Hitomi even though she has starred in a movie before, so the absence of these quirks is… concerning. Yes, that should be the word.

“Aphrodite,” repeats Hitomi uncertainly, “…what would come up in my mind?”

“Wait why are we asking her?” Nako asks suddenly, turning to face Minjoo. She swings one hand up to point at Hitomi without looking, “We both know she’s gonna think of Chaewon-unnie!”

Hitomi chokes on air, not expecting the attack. “Okay hold on—”

“Nako,” Minjoo patiently says, ignoring Hitomi’s metaphorical injury, “we were planning to prove a point out of two. Out of TWO. Either yours or mine, we need to find out which one is right and Yuri is currently sleeping—”

“Then the question shouldn’t be like that! Hii-chan,” turning back to face Hitomi now, “do you think Aphrodisiac—”

Minjoo pinches the bridge of her nose, “Aphrodite.”

“—farts?”

Hitomi blinks again, the spinning of the world seemingly slowing down around her. “I’m sorry, do I think who what now?” She feels eerily like she is losing her grip of the situation and these two are, in fact, talking about an at all different figure than the one she has in mind.

“Aphrodite?” Minjoo faintly repeats, perhaps just now starting to realize the absurdity of the situation. “You know… the goddess of love?”

The confirmation only serves to make Hitomi more confused. “Why are we wondering whether the goddess of love farts?”

“Because!” Nako passionately advances on her, “Because, Hii-chan, Aphorize—”

“Aphrodite!”

“—embodies too much of a perfection, don’t you think? Where’s the relatability amirite? Besides, people characterize her as this picture-perfect figure all the time throughout History—"

“I’m sure Aphrodite farts,” Minjoo interjects, and Hitomi whips her head to look at her, wide-eyed. Now she doesn’t expect that; when the two said that they got into an argument, Hitomi has thought that Minjoo would be on the less crack side, like usual. The side that would be a little more sane, the side that wouldn’t be having a farting Aphrodite agenda—

God, now that her mind puts it that way, it sounds even more ridiculous.

Nako lets out a frustrated noise, very much echoing Hitomi’s sentiment but for an entirely different reason. “Okay listen, Aphrodite is perfect,” Nako begins. Hitomi blinks and chooses to ignore the fact that Nako can actually pronounce the goddess’ name right all this time and has been butchering it just because she can. She gestures to Nako to continue, and so Nako does:

“Aphrodite is like, like—she’s like the best of the best, right? Goddess of love would have to be a figure that’s practically everyone’s ideal type, yes? So the conclusion I want to propose is that—” Nako waves her hand frantically to Minjoo’s direction, “not everyone can be Aphrodite! Right, Hii-chan?!”

Hitomi takes a step back, slightly fearing for her life. She looks at Minjoo to silently ask for help because she isn’t sure agreeing to Nako out of fear is ever the wisest thing to do, and Minjoo heaves out a sigh, rubbing her temples.

“Look,” Minjoo states wearily, sounding so tired as though this debate has been going on for hours, “all I did was stating that Nako can be an Aphrodite.” She places one palm over her heart, her other hand forming a peace sign. “I swear on my future lines in our albums—”

“BUT PEOPLE NEVER ILLUSTRATE APHRODITE AS SHORT, MINJOO!”

Hitomi lifts her hands up, burying her face into her palms and letting out a muffled groan.

Oh how she wishes to be anywhere but here right now.

*

“Do you think Aphrodite farts?”

“Nako, we really should stop starting out our interviews with that.”

Wonyoung blinks up at the three them, Hitomi having been dragged into interrupting Wonyoung’s safe corner because of some bull about 01z solidarity. Ride and die, Hii-chan, Nako yelled over her attempts to protest. All Hitomi wants is to maintain her reputation as someone well-adjusted and sane, man, why is it a hard resolution to live up to when you’re a member of IZ*ONE?

“Um,” Wonyoung carefully starts, which is already miles kinder than Hitomi’s response a while back. The youngest furrows her eyebrows and raises a finger, “Unnies are—are you well-rested? Are you okay? Do I need to phone Chaeyeon-unnie?”

“Please don’t she’s busy studying English,”

“Wonyoung this is important for the humankind!”

Hitomi refrains from facepalming herself as Wonyoung’s gaze settles on her. “Please just answer them,” she begs.

Wonyoung hums wonderingly, the finger now making a detour to tap onto her chin. Hitomi can’t believe she’s taking this seriously, but then again it might be why they’re showing up in her room instead of Eunbi’s.

“Okay so,” Wonyoung begins, wringing her hands as she tries to put thoughts into words, “Minjoo-unnie should know this already, but we don’t really call the goddess of love Aphrodite.”

Minjoo’s mouth takes the shape of an O. “Right,” she says, seemingly not having considered that at all. “Wonyoung’s right! For us her name would be Jacheongbi, she’s also known as the goddess of Earth—”

“But does she fart?” Nako insists, Hitomi actually facepalming this time around.

Wonyoung purses her lips, the scrunch of her face forming a crease between her eyebrows. “Well her characterization other than being a goddess of love and Earth is more in line with independent, and courageous…? It doesn’t say anywhere that she can’t fart.”

Hitomi blinks. That’s new information and an interesting one, actually. Maybe this visit isn’t completely useless in the grand scheme of things, after all. She glances at the two, Nako huffing and Minjoo suddenly having a smile on her lips.

“Wonyoung,” Minjoo lightly says, “if we ever to hold a play involving Korean gods and goddesses, do you think Nako can be Jacheongbi?”

Nako’s eyes dramatically widen, but before she can jump to clamp her fingers over Minjoo’s careless mouth Wonyoung easily answers,

“Of course.”

So Nako stands still in her spot instead, blinking profusely like she’s heard wrong. Minjoo smiles winningly while Hitomi starts to reconsider her life choices (because where did she go so wrong that she’s now stuck standing here discussing the biological business of the goddess of love?)

“So wait,” Nako croaks after a brief bout of silence, seemingly getting ahold of herself, “I can be what?” She swallows and waves her hand in the air, uncertainly adding, “But I’m—I’m—Wonyoung you know very well that I’m s—vertically challenged.” She huffs out the last phrase, the tips of her ears turning red.

Minjoo coughs into her fist, visibly holding back a snicker. Nako’s left leg visibly twitches, perhaps wishing to kick her in the shin.

“I mean, many stories have spoken of Jacheongbi as a shapeshifter too,” Wonyoung explains, rubbing her chin like she’s trying to recall bedtime stories of the old days. “There’s also a portion of her legend where she needed to travel to the Garden of Heaven to bring her lost husband back,” Wonyoung recounts, “and the Garden of Heaven was like, obviously a hard place to reach, almost impossible—”

“She had to go through a long odyssey involving shrinking then being restored back to her normal size,” Minjoo chimes in.

“Is this Alice in the Wonderland?” Hitomi can’t help but question, wondering if Minjoo and Wonyoung are actually pranking them.

“It sure has that vibe, isn’t it!” Wonyoung chirps, grinning broadly. “But it’s true, it’s written in her legends. She can shapeshift and there are times where she’s short or tall, or female or male—”

“It was a whole trip and a half,” Minjoo vaguely gestures. “I can show you the complete story if you’d like. Maybe drag Yuri along too, she might have forgotten about the legend entirely—”

Throughout this explanation, Nako blinks slowly, staring at Wonyoung and digesting the information. “I… can be Jacheongbi?” Minjoo forms a triumphant fist outside of Nako’s sight, and Hitomi wishes she at least had a bag of popcorns to go with.

“Why not?” Wonyoung innocently asks. “Nako-unnie is very pretty.” She beams, blissfully unaware of the flush stealing across Nako’s cheeks.

“B—but Minjoo would’ve suited—”

Minjoo makes a sound of protest, “How many times do I have to tell you that I want to be a tree—”

“What kind of English material did you two study with Chaeyeon-unnie?” Hitomi asks, absolutely bewildered.

“Don’t mind about it,” Minjoo immediately says, Nako nodding vigorously in agreement while Wonyoung laughs. Hitomi suppresses a sigh, walking over to sit next to Minjoo on the floor and just looking on as the latter begins to chat Wonyoung up about the more in-depth story of the Jacheongbi, while Nako is flip-flopping between contributing to the discussion and freezing up when Wonyoung reiterates that yes,

of course you can be the goddess of love, Nako-unnie.

Hitomi sighs, shaking her head.

Well, at least they have an answer now.

*

(“Eunbi-unnie do you think Aphrodite farts?!”

Eunbi chokes on her can of carbonated drink and Minjoo yelps, immediately grabbing the other two and dragging them outside of the kitchen.

“Don’t worry about it Unnie we’re sorry for asking goodbye!!!”

“But Minjoo, our question—”

“Do you want to live or not???”)

*

Wonyoung’s explanation should have been enough.

That should have put a stop to the entire ‘can Aphrodite fart’ debacle, especially since the world doesn’t seem to want them to interview anyone else. Eunbi nearly died over their question, Chaeyeon’s currently taking a nap, Yujin is busy camping inside Sakura’s gameroom with Chaewon while Yena has the knack of making every debate messier than it already is so they have agreed to eliminate her from the consultable pool of people.

This discussion should have been long closed, concluded, solved, never to be debated ever again—but somehow here they are, in Yuri’s bunk, staring down at the owner of the bed who has just groggily woken up. Hitomi kind of feels sorry for her; it can't be pleasant to have your dream suddenly broken by Nako yelling 'Jo Yuri wake the up we have an urgent matter at hand and I need you to answer some questions about Aphrodite!' The only consoling thought is that Nako seems to have dropped the farting angle, but it barely eases the disconcerted look on Yuri's face right now.

“Bwuh,” Yuri sluggishly blinks, looking at each of them while still being entangled with her blanket. “Is this Hell?”

A snort comes from Hyewon who happens to be coincidentally passing by.

“Jo Yuri,” Nako gravelly says.

“Oh no,” Yuri sleepily moans, turning around to sink deeper into her pillow, “I’ll wash the plates later, I promise—”

“Wait, that was you?” Hitomi gapes in disbelief, almost jolting forward to grab Yuri’s shoulders and shake her awake. “I had to wash twice as much dishes to avoid Chaeyeon-unnie’s wrath!”

Yuri mumbles out a series of unintelligible words, her voice muffled by the fluff she’s covering her face with. Minjoo smiles in amusement, moving to sit gingerly by the edge of the bunk. She reaches over to carefully poke Yuri’s cheek, her hand immediately being swatted away.

“Yuri,” Nako impatiently sighs. “Yuri this is important. You need to wake up.” She goes to the side where Yuri’s legs are and pulls at one of her toes—a most dubious method if Hitomi ever saw one—and loudly nags, “Yuri! If you don’t wake up now Aphrodite will appear in this room to fart on you and—”

“Will you ever stop with the fart thing?” Hitomi weakly asks.

“Sssh, Hii-chan, I’m on a mission read the room! Jo Yuri, I know you’re listening. Yuri we don’t have much time, Yuri we need to—!”

“Why’dya need to ask me?” Yuri groans, head turning slightly to glare at them (or, well, at Minjoo since she’s the closest to her) with one eye. “Jus’ ask Min, she’s one.” She produces a loud huff and buries her head into her pillow again.

Hitomi blinks.

Nako blinks.

Minjoo blinks, then colours slightly in red.

Yuri softly snores, unaware of what she has just announced to them.

*

Tracy | Picup @EiyuuPicup · 17 hr
hii-chan! thank you for opening the Q&A, I hope everyone is healthy nowadays ^ ^ is there any funny 01z episode lately? #ひいめーる

Hitomi stares at the question, thinks back to the latest Aphrodite debacle, and heaves out a sigh.

She scrolls onto the next tweet in line.

[01z]