My phone’s dim brightness is the only light in this room as I type this.

I have been typing, deleting, and retyping for the past hour, struggling to find the right words to say how I feel right now. How do you encapsulate years into a thousand words?

Meeting you has always been such a blessing to me. Many would argue that it is only a rare chance that you would encounter someone with whom you immediately perfectly mesh with, but I have always credited it to fate.

Or perhaps it was destiny that brought us together. How else could I explain our perfect chemistry right off the bat?

Since then you became my sunrise – the light that illuminates the path to my dreams and the clarity to the darkness in my soul. There was suddenly a warmth in my heart whenever I smile because of you. I wake up looking forward to another day to make memories with you.

And oh, how I remember everything in detail – like photographs engraved in a special corner of my brain marked with your name.

Myoui Mina.

I still find it funny how I managed to get your number. It was two months after we first met, and even if we spend almost every day together discussing the story you have been writing, I never had the courage to make a move. And when I finally did, I was such a mess I could only cringe at the thought.

“Hey Mina, I really don’t want to miss you in any way so if you feel like talking to me, here’s my number: 09*******58.”

It did not even take you long to send me a message. “What name do you want me to put in my contacts?”

And I, being the doofus that I am, replied with a cocky “Hello, love!”

Your name in my phonebook? Mina My Love Author-nim.

It has always been that. Right from the start.

Because I have always loved you.

You captivated me with your carefree spirit and just how relaxed, calm, and composed you always are. I have never laughed so hard as when you make me laugh with your witty remarks and clever comebacks whenever we tease each other. Don’t you know it breaks my heart whenever you cry, especially when we were working on the emotional chapters of your novel?

The only time I was ever happy seeing your tears was when we were happily celebrating the success of your novel. It was such a hit – something you dis not expect, no matter how many times I told you how brilliant a writer you are. What made it even more special was the fact that it was the day before your birthday. You were crying and laughing at the same time I did not know whether to console you or congratulate you.

I chose the latter, and we drowned ourselves in alcohol.

But oh, I was drunk in love with you. My feelings for you intensified that night, so much so that I promised myself I would do everything I can to stay with you and give you all there is in the world that would make you happy.

There is nothing in this world that is more precious than you, and I would gladly live to see you smile.

You, my love, are my sunset. There is an undeniable beauty in the varying hues created by the light of the setting sun – a touch of blue with a blend of red and orange bleeding through, but sometimes a streak of purple pushes its way over the other colors. Your love for sunsets reflects how you are as a person, what with all the different shades of you perfectly merging effortlessly.

Just like how I keep finding reasons to stay in love with you.

I could never forget how you smiled at me earlier. I could feel just how happy and excited you were. I know, we talked about it for weeks. You have been looking forward to it for the longest time. We hardly slept the night before, because you could not force yourself to sleep with your heart racing with anticipation for morning to come.

We held each other’s hand inside my car throughout the long ride. I don’t know if you felt the electricity coursing through my skin whenever you run your fingers over my palm. You have always had that effect on me, I’m not sure how I managed to concentrate on my driving every single time we are in the car together.

I guess I just really want to make sure you’re safe.

“Enjoy your day with Jeongyeon!”

“Thank you, Chaeyoung! You’re the best!”

“Congratulations, love.” I smiled and turned to go back inside the car.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?”

“I’m pretty sure the love of my life and my best friend will forgive me, right?”

“Have you forgiven me?” I heard your voice crack but I refused to look back. 

“Of course, Mina. I love you, and your happiness is all that matters to me.”

I quickly went inside the car and sped off. I did not bother looking at the rear view mirror to check if the girl in the beautiful white dress would take off her heeled shoes to run after me, because I know she won’t.

Or else I will not be here typing away.

Instead I would be the one standing in front of the altar this morning, proudly declaring my vows and wiping your happy tears as I kiss you blissfully.

“I appreciate you a lot, Chaeyoung, and I don’t want to lose our friendship. You are important to me.” That was all you managed to say the night I confessed my love to you. The night you broke my heart.

But I kept my promise. I stayed and did everything possible to make you happy.

Even if it meant seeing you happy with someone who isn’t me.