"Mom, we've reached," called a soft voice from the driver's seat. He was trying his best to hold back his tears but failed to hide all of his sorrows, so his voice cracked slightly.

On the passenger's seat, mom gave him a nod with her eyes still shut. She took in a deep breath and held it in for a few seconds before breathing out. It was her way of gathering courage. When she felt like she had enough, she slowly opened her eyes and looked outside.

The car park was right across the hostel building. The building she had been wanting to visit since the last four years - to see her living condition, to bring her good home cooked food, to spend some quality mother-daughter time.

She keenly imagined her first visit to her daughter's place. It could even pass as her favorite hobby. But never once would she have guessed that the reason for her first visit would be to take her daughter's things back.

Seeing his mom let out a sigh again, he put his hand over hers and held it tight. "Are you okay?"

She looked towards him and smiled, "I'm okay. Don't worry." She looked at the building once more and strengthened her resolve. "I'll be back."

She put on her mask before opening the car door and walked out towards the hostel.

She went to the receptionist and asked for the key to her room.

The moment she opened the door, the nostalgic smell, her daughter's smell, gushed at her. She cleared her dried up throat and entered in.

Rubbing her hands with sanitizer, she looked around.

This is how she had been living. This kid, I told her so many times to put away the things after use, she still always leaves it lying around everywhere.

She shook her head as she picked up the two books lying on the floor and proceeded to take out a luggage bag from the closet. She neatly arranged the clothes in one bag and the books along with miscellaneous in another.

As she was clearing out the study table, her eyes landed on the photo frame standing atop. Her eyes softened and a gentle smile graced her face.

Ever since little she hated getting her pictures taken. Even on that day her father had to go to great lengths to have her agree to get her photo taken. It was a commemorative day indeed. She got her admission in another city and was moving out. For the first time, she was going to live alone, away from home.

I was worried sick. I remember not sleeping a wink that night.

She took both the bags out to the corridor and took one last look at the room. She felt a lump in . Swallowing back her tears, she lightly shut the door.

 

 

Mom let out a sigh. Just like that a week had already passed by.

"What's wrong, mom?" he asked as he entered the kitchen.

Mom looked at him and smiled, "Nothing. I'm preparing afternoon tea. Will you join?"

"Of course! Oh and there is a letter for you."

"A letter? Who is it from?"

"Um… Dr. Fatima?"

Mom looked confused.

"Okay, I'll look at it later," she said as she prepared the table.

Finally after sitting down and having sipped at her tea once, she opened up the letter.

Her eyes widened as she read the first two words.

It read:

 

"Dear Mom,

I am writing this letter to you hoping you will never have to read it. But if you are then that must mean I have lost my battle.

I'm sorry I cannot be your support in your old age. I won't be there in your time of happiness or comfort you during your hard days. But I’m most sorry for being the reason for your worries these couple of weeks. I’m so sorry, mom, for not being strong enough, for not being able to make it out alive, most of all for going before you.

As I write my goodbyes I’m not at all worried. That little brat is more responsible now and he has grown into someone I respect (please don’t tell him I said this, mom, I’ll roll in my grave out of embarrassment if you do). Even without me there, I know bro will take good care of you.

I know I complain about my job every time we talk, but to be honest, mom, I'm proud I chose this career. You have been the strength behind everything I have become. And the different people I met through this profession, their raw emotions, be it of relief or of grief, has helped me grow as a person.

Mom, you always tell me that you love me. I know you know that I do too. But I'm awkward and never say it to you properly. I wish I could hug you right now. Mom, I love you! Thank you for bringing me into this world. If there is a next life, I wish to be born as your daughter again. A daughter who will stay with you till the end.

I saw your weakness when we lost dad. I don't want to be another reason for your weakness. I want to take all the pain and sadness away, leaving behind only beautiful sunshine for you. So, please don't grieve for me for long. Actually, I hope to see you already back to your daily life when this letter reaches you. I love you.

Your loving daughter,

Amber"

 

Smiling, she wiped away her tears that had escaped unnoticed. As she was folding the letter back into the envelope, she saw, on the inside of the envelope there was something written with tiny letters. 

She squinted her eyes trying to read it.

 

"Please don't regret making me a doctor. I had a fulfilled life. I hope you are proud to have had me as your daughter."

---

END