Authir's note: While writing chapter 2 I had a change of plan, so I'm currently working on a re-structure. Please bear with me while I work this out. Thank you to those of you who are still waiting! For now, here is a short preview of what's to come....

Sooyoung’s point of view, nine years ago 

Jinsol and I were lounging around on the campus recreation ground: books strewn across the grass behind us, bags wrapped in our jackets as pillows as we faced towards the sun. “So… run that by me one more time?” she asked, pouting, her face contorting so that her cheeks puffed up in the cutest way.  

“The business department requires us to help out on orientation day, we have to run the day to get experience with public engagement” I explained for what felt like the fiftieth time, turning to study her face – the way her eyes formed little crescents, and her lips pushed outward.  

“And remind me why I need to help? I’m not a business major” she turned to face me a little, catching me staring red handed.  

“Do I need to remind you what happened just yesterday?” I rolled my eyes at her.  

“It was no big deal! It was just a bit of weed! I don’t see why we have to make up for it” 

“Because you were caught right outside your classroom playing hooky, smoking a zoot. You know how much attendance contributes towards your grade. I don’t see how you could be so blasé about it, and dumb enough to get caught”  

“She promised me a lot more than a spliff if I skipped. And… not all of us have enough options to just pass up on an opportunity to get some” she said looking at me pointedly. 

“So, you agreed to smoke with that trash to get her in your pants? I thought you at least had standards” I said rolling back over to face the sky.  

“She’s not that bad. She’s smarter than she acts. She isn’t the sort to catch feelings or get clingy. She’s not so bad at kissing... if you don’t mind all the saliva…” her lips started to turn downwards, and her brow creased “Plus! Have you seen her ?” her eyes shot straight back up, the grin on her face was like a kid at Christmas “Besides… I can’t afford to buy any weed at the moment so that was pretty cool” I could only roll my eyes. She was amazing in so many ways, but it was times like this where I was reminded that she was still only human. 

“So, will you help me or not?” I asked, not wanting to spend another moment talking about the dog that she had nearly hooked up with. She smirked a little 

“Give me one good reason why I should help you” her eyes screamed mischief and her smirk only grew more and more vicious as my mind began to run in a thousand different directions 

“Because you said your professor said you had to give back to the university by doing some kind of community service to make up for it?”  

“Just admit it, Soo. You want to spend more time with me. How about I roll you a fat zoot if you buy me some weed… in exchange for my time obviously? We never get high together anymore!” She looked at me pleadingly, the pout returning in full force 

“I shouldn’t have to bribe you… but… whatever… fine. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve smoked. You help me next week at orientation day and I’ll buy us enough weed to last until the end of the semester” Her eyes lit up again. We shook on the agreement and we began to pack up our things as we headed to class. 

******** 

Orientation day had gone really smoothly. Jinsol had been on her best behaviour: talking to the students, finding out what they were interested in and telling them about all the cool opportunities and things they could find on campus to suit their interests. Everything they wanted and so much more. She was a fountain of knowledge as we gave guided tours around the campus, showing the students all of the best things we had to offer. The thing about Jinsol was… she never did things half-assed, it was all or nothing with her, and she was giving this 110 percent. We were just picking up our last group for tours before lunch, when I saw her: a cute girl with rosy cheeks, auburn hair, big doe eyes and a shy smile. She wore an oversized sweatshirt which made her look even smaller, and her rucksack was bulging with how full it was. I noticed that she kept avoiding Jinsol’s gaze when she tried to approach her. “Sol, why don’t we get this show on the road!” I said as she tried again to swoop in and talk to the girl who was clearly beyond nervous.  

“You got it boss!” she said saluting at me “Hi guys I’m Jinsol, I hope you’ve enjoyed the morning so far….” Her speech faded into background noise as I honed in on the little cutie who flashed me a shy smile and a small wave before blushing and looking at the ground. As we started our journey around the campus, I noticed she lingered near the back of the group, taking in everything, making notes about everything Jinsol said in a worn notebook.  

“Ummm… I’m sorry about Jinsol earlier, she’s too friendly for her own good sometimes. I’m Sooyoung” I said nervously. Why was I nervous? It’s just a conversation with a girl. Yes, but a really cute girl! Snap out of it, Sooyoung, you’re older than her… and you promised Sunmi you’d try and get over this. My thoughts raced about a mile a minute. She was looking up at me with her big brown eyes 

“Jiwoo. Kim Jiwoo” she said with a hint of a smile.  

“Not much of a talker, eh? S… sorry I… I’ll back off” I stuttered. Great! Great way to make an impression! 

“Sorry. I… I’m just nervous… I’ve never been somewhere so… big” her voice trailed off at the end and her eyes lingered on the distance. I took a small step closer. Jinsol was still chattering away at the front of the group, talking to the rest of the group and spouting some of her knowledge. None of that mattered in this moment, I had this girl – Jiwoo’s – attention. “What do… What’s your major?” she asked looking up at me shyly. 

“I’m umm… I study business and digital marketing… What about you?”  

“That sounds cool. What comes next? I… I mean… what do you wanna do when you graduate?” her cheeks were dusted with pink, and it was adorable 

“Ummm… to be honest, I don’t know yet. I’m still figuring it out. Tell me about you though” despite how cute she was with that shy smile and slight blush; I couldn’t help but notice she’d completely avoided my question 

“Me? I want to major in performing arts, with a music minor… it’s… nowhere near as impressive as your programme though!” her voice tapered off again as if she wasn’t used to speaking so much and she’d run out of words.  

We continued to chat throughout the tour. Jiwoo really was something else. She was shy, but there was something about her that told me she had a story to tell, and I wanted to hear it.  

Later that afternoon, to wrap up the orientation day, the bars on campus were all open and it was half price on everything as a well done for all our hard work, and to give the newbies a taste of what university life could be like. Many just hovered around tables in groups chatting nervously amongst themselves while older students floated in and out making the most of the cheap beer. Jinsol and I had found a few friends and were playing drinking games around one of the larger tables in one of the smaller bars. There were fewer students here, so we shook some of our student ambassador-ness off, opting to have a few drinks and let loose. When we started to play drink or dare, and everyone was starting to get a little tipsy, I knew I had to slow down a little. I was expected to wrap up the day completely by giving a speech to the heads of faculty about our work today. I’d volunteered to do it to gain some extra credit because I was struggling with one of my modules. 

I was shaken from my thoughts when all noise picked up suddenly and I noticed all eyes on me… I looked down at the table, the neck of the bottle was pointing at me… oh no. I couldn’t drink again, not if I wanted to give my speech without looking like a fool. “Ahhh… Sooyoungie. Your turn” our friend David spoke up, he was an exchange student from Europe and he was the one who introduced me to Jinsol at the start of last year. “Umm… I dare you to kiss Jinsol. I’m not talking like a mwah kind of kiss” he said puckering his lips for a moment to exaggerate “I mean a….” he paused while he tried to find the words, instead opting to mash his hands together “kind of kiss.” Kiss Jinsol? Here? Now? I looked down at the glass in front of me… there was a lot of beer in there, I couldn’t down that much, not if I didn’t want to be a laughing stock of the whole department. I looked at Jinsol pleadingly, she’d had more to drink than I had so she just smiled dopily at me. I raised my eyebrows at her, as if to ask if she was okay with it. 

“Pucker up, baby. I don’t wanna have to carry your home” she said with a hint of mischief in her eyes. We leaned into the gap between our chairs and did what we had to do. My hands rested on her waist, and one of hers found my shoulder. She kissed me really softly and let me lead. For the most part it was sweet. I’d always imagined that if I kissed her there’d be some kind of fireworks. Obviously, I was physically attracted to her – I’m not blind. She was like my missing piece, the other side of my coin but always on the same page. And we have this amazing chemistry. But the kiss was just a kiss. A nice kiss, but nothing more.  

We broke apart and she giggled a little. “You taste like beer” she said quietly, with an indistinguishable tone to her voice. Everyone whooped, and I could just tell that David was impressed with himself. My eyes scanned across the group to all the expectant stares. As I swept the crowd around me, I noticed Jiwoo across the room, her eyes were on me and she had that blush across her cheeks again. I spun the bottle, it landed on a girl across the table from me. I handed her my glass and said  

“I dare you to finish this” it was still virtually full. “I need to go; I’ve got somewhere to be. I’ll see you guys around” I hugged Jinsol goodbye and left a quick kiss to her cheek as we usually would “See you at home” I whispered. And with that I left the room. The whole time Jiwoo’s eyes never left me.  

******** 

The kiss with Jinsol changed nothing about our friendship. She was still as comfortable as ever around me, if not more so, and it seemed like the action had successfully helped me to put my little crush on her to bed. Fast forward to the end of the semester and we were inseparable. We only had a couple of days left before we parted ways for summer; my parents needed me at home for a few weeks to help them move house, and Jinsol was going on an educational trip with students from her department (she’d told me this was going to be the highlight of her academic time at university). We’d be reunited in about a month, but that felt like forever away. 

We had just spent the day packing up the last of our belongings we’d need to go away with, so were having a chill evening. The apartment wasn’t anything grand, but it was probably one of the best for student accommodation, and we made it homey. But now it looked bare, with the packed suitcases being the main feature of our living area. We were lounging on the balcony of our second-floor apartment, smoking the biggest spliff we were able to roll with what little weed we had left from the haul I’d bought after orientation day. I took a long drag as I looked up at the sky – it was starting to turn rosy as the sun set across the horizon. Jinsol was a bit spacey already, but I could feel her gaze on my cheek. Without bothering to look over at her, I breathed out the smoke and asked “What’s up? Something on my face?” She giggled 

“Yeah… you’ve got a whole lot of cute going on right now” I laughed a little and peeled my eyes from the horizon to meet her gaze. She was beautiful: the way her hair was tousled, her eyes gleaming, and the way that lazy smile gripped her features. I was completely wonderstruck. I handed her the zoot as I put my feet up to rest on the edge of the make-shift plant pot we had. “So…” she drawled 

“So” I replied, not taking my eyes away from her remarkable features. 

“Do you think you’ll ever see her again?” I cocked my head, confused by her question. 

“See who again?” she laughed that full laugh of hers, one arm coming to rest behind her head as she leaned back onto the balcony railing 

“Whoever it is that’s got you all starry eyed and wistful. You had the same look on orientation day” Orientation day?! The shock and confusion must have registered on my face. I started stammering but couldn’t even begin to try and articulate a full sentence. “Don’t look at me like that. And don’t even think about trying to lie to me. That little cutie was giving you heart eyes. And I have never, I repeat never, heard Ha Sooyoung stumble over your words like you did when you were talking to her” I was rendered speechless. I thought Jinsol had been too busy being tour-guide-extraordinaire to have noticed my conversation with Jiwoo. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been thinking about her since, but she was just a girl I’d never see again.  

“I… I thought you wouldn’t have noticed” I could feel the blush dusting my cheeks as I spoke. Why are you blushing, Sooyoung?! You never get shy about girls. You are a cool, collected heartthrob! Get it together! 

“Of course I noticed! I started paying attention as soon as you fired the warning shots not to bother her!” I felt the blush deepen, and something stirred in my stomach. For someone who seemed intent on getting herself kicked out of her degree for some weed and a bit of , Jinsol sure was an attentive genius.  

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about” Again with the stuttering?! I cleared my throat “She looked like she was shy, and your loud mouth would have done more harm than good. We wanted to encourage potential students, not scare them away”  

Just keep a straight face. She might buy it. You’ve always been good at- “Bull! You were smiling that smile from the very first second you laid eyes on her. Who is she? Did you give her a little something to remember you by?” She wiggled her eyebrows at me suggestively 

“What?! No! Sol, she’s probably about 16, and I’m…” I didn’t know how to finish that sentence. 

“And you’re what? Not looking for any more hook-ups? A smoking hot heartthrob who could have anything she wants? One of the absolute best at doing what she does? Worth a billion dollars and deserves someone who can treat her as such?” A shy smile crossed Jinsol’s lips as she spoke those words, a faint blush dusting her cheeks, but her eyes screamed sincerity. 

“I’m… just me. She probably doesn’t even remember me” Jinsol cooed at me and scraped her chair closer to mine to wrap me in a side hug.  

“Baby… if she doesn’t remember you, she must be crazy. Can’t have you running around after another crazy girl” I rolled my eyes. “Remember that one who got your number from whoever it was, and she didn’t stop texting you until you agreed to take her to dinner? We definitely don’t need any more crazy girls in your life” she was laughing a little too hard at this memory. But it brightened up my mood thoughts of Jiwoo going to the back of my mind. Jinsol’s expression turned somber. “Soo?” her gaze was serious, but there was a gentle smile on her lips. I hummed to let her know she had my full attention, my eyes never leaving hers. “Can you promise me something?”  

“Of course, Sol. Anything” I grabbed her hand that was resting in her lap, turning in my seat to face her. 

“If you ever see her again, promise me you’ll give her your number” shock must have registered on my face again. I clammed up. That devilish smirk crossed her lips.  “damn, Sooyoung! I didn’t realise you had it THAT bad!” she slapped my thigh gently. I felt myself blush, and I didn’t even try to hide it. “Well? Promise?”  

“I dunno, Sol…. I’m… she… She’ll be a first year, and I’ll be graduating soon enough. We’ll be at different stages of our lives, and she deserves someone on the same page as her” I could feel myself rambling, but I felt like there was sound reasoning behind my garbled speech. Jinsol grabbed my hand, gently but there was a firmness in the way she gripped me.  

“I’m not saying you have to promise her forever. Just… hang out. You never know, you two might be almost as good a match as we are” she chuckled as she slapped my thigh again.  

“Fine. Whatever. She might not be as big a pain in my ” I laughed while swatting her away.  

After that conversation on the balcony, something kept swirling round in my mind. I let my memory take me back to orientation day, when I’d walked out of the bar after kissing Jinsol. “Sooyoung! Hey, wait!” I heard brisk footsteps behind me as I left the bar. I turned round and Jiwoo was rushing out after me. She looked distressed. I’d only known her five seconds, but the thought of her being anything less than peachy didn’t sit right with me. I stopped walking, and leaned against the lamppost beside me, an easy smile forming on my lips. As she caught up to me, she took a rather deep breath. I’m not sure whether it was from the speed she must have left to catch up with me, or whether she was simply trying to collect herself for whatever it was she was about to say. 

“Jiwoo… what can I do for you?” 

“Sooyoung… I… umm… I didn’t think this far ahead… here” she a partially torn up beermat into my hand. I raised an eyebrow at her. She looked adorable with her cheeks all flushed and eyes shining like stars. And her smile. Oh God, don’t get me started on that smile! I smiled warmly at her. She blushed even deeper and bowed to me “I’m sorry, I’m taking up your time. Umm… just…. Sorry. Forget I said anything. Have a nice night, Sooyoung. See you around” and before I knew it, she was heading off in the other direction.  

“Jiwoo!” I called after her, but she was already far enough away that she didn’t hear me. I chose to take a closer look at the beermat she’d handed me. At first glance it was just a run-of-the-mill beermat with the edges torn. There had to be more to it than that. I flipped it over, and there it was, written in blocky handwriting, in what looked like eyeliner ‘Chuu – XXXXX-XXX-XXXX call me 😉’ Had she just handed me her number? On a beermat? And then walked away?! DAMN! I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. In my excitement I giggled to myself, and pinched myself to make sure this was real.  

Jinsol must have seen the change in my expression because she smirked. “What you thinking about? Did something happen and you aren’t telling me?” She put what was left of the spliff in the ashtray on our makeshift table as she turned to face me completely. I smiled; it was a far-away kind of smile. 

“Umm... yeah, something happened. I’d kind of forgotten about it until just now though” She perked up, all excited. 

“I knew it, you dog! What happened? Were you all Cassanova, or did you play nice?” 

I laughed as I interrupted her tirade of questions. “No. It was nothing like that. Wait here” I stood up and left her on the balcony as I went to find my jacket. I hadn’t worn it since that day, because the weather had been awfully warm. I was hoping it was still there, and that I hadn’t lost it in the meantime.  

I returned to the balcony mere moments later, where I handed Jinsol the ratty beermat Jiwoo had given me – just as I remembered it, torn edges and all. She began to inspect it with curiosity as I spoke. “This happened. She caught up to me on the way to make my speech and she handed me this. Before I could even figure out what it was, she took off” She was gobsmacked. It took a lot to silence Jung Jinsol, but this did it. She turned her eyes to look at me, they were soft and warm.  

“Oh my god this is so sweet! Please tell me you called her, and all that bull two minutes ago was just...” she trailed off as she looked into my eyes “You genuinely forgot about this didn’t you?” I nodded. She threw her hands up in the air in frustration “You idiot! You have to call her! You’ll traumatise her forever if you don’t!”  

“But... I... what if she doesn’t want to hear from me now?” I’d never seen her look so exasperated as she did in that moment. 

“For a womanizer, you really are dumb when it comes to women. Of course she wants to hear from you! It must have taken her a lot of courage to give you this, she’s probably at home thinking she messed up giving you her number!” She reached over to lay a hand on my knee. She must have felt my nerves, my resignation “Okay. You don’t have to call her. But at least text her. Tell her you’ve been really busy but that you’re glad she gave you this... this... pathetic excuse for a beermat.” After just a moment of thought, her eyes widened and formed an O shape “People like her are the reason drinks on campus are getting so expensive! They have to keep replacing all the beermats and as a result they’re driving the prices up! Maybe this isn’t such a good idea Soo” I laughed at her silliness. Even though she was being serious, I knew it was her attempt of putting me at ease, and I was grateful for it.  

“I’ll text her. But if she doesn’t reply before we leave to go home tomorrow, you’re buying me dinner when we get back” I tried to put on a brave face, like the very idea of texting the girl who I’d been silently thinking about for weeks didn’t bother me in the slightest.  

“Deal” 

Author's note: So while I was away I had EVEN more ideas for this fic. Consider Chapter 1 the end of the story, and everything afterwards a preface to it. This is going to have a few more installments. Sorry for being away for so long, and thank you if you've read this far. Looking forward to continuing this journey with my readers. See you soon! Lala xoxo