[info: In which you're a tsundere and a tough cookie, masking your feeling for Mina by acting unaffected and nonchalant. Some tough loving but at least Mina's not a third wheel^^]

You were never the person good with socializing, nor do you have many friends to begin with. It doesn't matter, really, not when you're also the most feared person in school. Everyone regarded you with respect with their heads bowed down, because if not, they knew better with what would happen to them after and they don't want bloods and bruises so they all stayed away from your gang.

Typically, you were never a violent person from the start, but a couple of bullying in middle school and with how horrible your parents treated you after you told them that you're gay -- you're at least thankful your sister was there for you -- all that toughened you and made you who you are today. Regarded as a ticking time bomb by all the students body, but you still liked to think that you're not that bad, just for those people wanting to pick a fight with you, and you're not entirely rude to ignore them.

On the other hand there's Myoui Mina, she was the exact opposite to your lame .

She's the perfect example of a good hardworking straight -- in more ways than one -- A's student, she does ballet, a (gorgeous) Japanese, intelligent, gentle with how she talks and carry herself. Everyone loves her, even your gang loves her.

Except you. Of course you hate her, it irritates you with how elegant she looks -- because she always made you feel weird with how your heart tingles with something unknown to you. You hate how straight her back was when she sits, cause basically you don't like straight things -- and it makes you unconsciously admire the extent of her being a ballerina for her to be like that now. You hate how she resembles a penguin when she walks, you don't know the reason but you hate it -- it's because even with that she looks prettier and cute in your eyes, if the indication of the slight tug of your lips whenever she walks towards your way is enough proof. You especially hate the noises she produces, whether it's her laugh, how gentle and soft she talks or just the sound she makes when she's happy, mad, excited, or doing her aegyo to you -- you don't know why it always made your heart beats faster than normal. You hate the bunch of constellation-like moles spread throughout her face -- you always clench your fist tightly to your side because if you don't, you're afraid your hands would move on its own to touch the black dots donning perfectly on her white skin.

And the most hateful thing was, she's the reason why you realized that you're gay, with her gummy smile and sparkling bright eyes -- the fact that she's straight irked you more. So you tried your best to stay away from her, it's futile when she does the opposite. Even though she knows your ual orientation.

It didn't help that you knew each other since you both were still in diapers, with how tight-knit your families were. She's always hot in her heels in following you around, making sure you don't cause unnecessary fist-fights with someone, always making sure you're well-behaved. Your friends was also very fond of her, always welcoming her on all your planned outings -- Jihyo once said to you, "We like having Mina around because she took good care of you and you were the happiest when you're with her." Of course you denied it.

But every time you deny and convince your brain that you hate the girl, your heart clenches the most painful way. And the more you push your feelings away, the more you found yourself falling and drowning for Myoui Mina. So at least now you can admit to yourself, you love her.

- - - - - -

It's another day and another one of your boring classes where you pretended to be listening to the professor. Thankfully you didn't suffer much longer when the bell rang for your lunch break. Just as you started to walk out the door, you saw Mina waiting at the side with your classmates who were going out looking her way. It's not surprising to see her outside your classroom by now, she always does that even if you told her she should wait in the lunch room instead.

You saw how she struggled to balance the several books in her arms, she looks so cute but then you frowned. That's another reason why you insisted for her to not wait for you, not wanting her in possibly tiring herself while she waited for your class to dismiss whilst she carried those heavy books.

Grabbing the items in her hold along with her bag just as you approached her, she stared at you in shock but then recognition merged her expression after she knew it was you.

"Unnie."

Dismissing how your ears tingle with how she called you, you started walking ahead with Mina on your tail.

"Tsk! These books are heavy, I told you to stop waiting for me and immediately drop these off to your locker."

You grumbled loud enough for her to hear. Instead of answering you, she only leveled your pace and clung to your arm that was't occupied with her things.

"If I do that then I can't get to have you carry my things like this and care for me."

She showed you her gummy smile so you can only turn your head away, clicked your tongue in (fake) annoyance and thanked god that you let your hair down or Mina would see your red ears by now.

"You should really stop saying nonsense or I'll leave you here alone."

You threatened like how you usually do when she throws you lines that made you flustered -- of course without her knowing its effect to you.

"I know you can't do that, you love me too much."

This is another thing you hate about her, not just the fact that she's not taking you seriously sometimes, she also makes you speechless with her chosen words. Mina was naturally a silent person in public places, she always stays in the background, opting to listening than talking herself. You know this since -- as embarrassingly as it was -- you always had your eyes on her, observing her every move, so you were totally lost why she's so full of energy when it's just the two of you. Occasionally she could even tease you, with how reserved she was with others it's quite a spectacle. Eventually you grew used to it, low-key liking your interactions and how unreserved she was at once she's in your bubble, her voice even grows louder and especially her laughs.

"Whatever."

You can only pathetically say.

- - - - - -

It was the weekend, you were at your's and your sister's apartment. You were coped up in the living room with different books that was all about how to learn Japanese around the coffee table in front of you.

You're still denying to yourself the true reason why you were studying the language -- totally not because of a certain Japanese girl that you knew, you're sure of it. It's just fun to learn another language, you reasoned.

"Hey, I'm going to Nayeon's place, so maybe I can't be with you for dinner tonight. Is it okay to leave you alone?"

Your Jeongyeon-unnie asked you, but you didn't dare to look up and only answered a "yeah, take care" and a nod, still focused on the book in your hand.

Since you were preoccupied, you didn't hear the familiar voice that greeted your sister when she went out and asking if you're inside. You definitely didn't even feel that a certain penguin was already at your back, peeking to your shoulders to see what you were doing.

"Why are you learning Japanese?"

Immediately jumping on your feet when the voice startled you, you looked at the back and saw a giggling penguin covering in amusement, looking so cute for her own good.

"Yah, can you not do that. You almost gave me a heart attack."

You grumbled and sat back again, you just can't be angry to the fullest when she was at her penguin-printed pajama's.

Mina rounded the couch and sat beside you, sticking on your side and completely intrigued to the book you were holding which you pulled away from her insistent eyes. That did not stop her from her prying and only turned to the opened books on the coffee table instead.

Making haste to close all the books out of her sight, the two of you scrambled into a push and pull battle.

"Can you not. Why are you here anyway?"

You asked while making her sit back on the couch to behave which she obliged but with a pout on her lips that almost made you smile.

"I asked you a question first."

You chose to ignore her and completed the task in stocking the books on one pile and standing up to head to your bedroom, said books in your clutches.

"Ah, unnie~"

She whined that made you totally smile, good thing you're already back facing her.

Hearing her footsteps following towards inside your bedroom, you decided to paid no mind to it and placed the four or five books on your study desk. You turned and saw she was already cozy on your bed while hugging the penguin stuffed toy she gave you last year on your birthday. Of course you need to act like you're not affected at the sight, so you crossed your arms and acted like you were not amused by her.

"I'll ask you again, why are you here Mina?"

"Am I not allowed to be here? It's so boring alone next room so I came here to bother you instead."

How could you forget, not only the fact of being with each other since childhood you two were also neighbors. So even if you wanted to escape from her, you just can't.

"And I already asked permission to Jeongyeon-unnie, she also told me to stay for dinner to accompany you. Isn't that great?"

Mina enthusiastically added whilst rolling all around your bed, most of her words were muffled from the pillows but you understood it anyways.

You found it hard to continue your act of being annoyed when she's this adorable in front of you.

"If that's the case then you'll surely starve here. Jeongyeon-unnie didn't cooked and I don't want to set the apartment on fire."

You're worried for a little while when she bolted up suddenly, afraid that maybe her neck broke from the abrupt motion but released a sigh when she was still smiling.

"I'll cook!"

The octave of her voice raised by ten times higher than when she talked in public places, gone was the elegance that she has whenever she act around everyone. This was that rare loud and inelegant Mina that shows when it's just the both of you, and you're both honored and devastated because as much as it brings you happiness in knowing that she's comfortable around you, you still don't want your ears to suffer.

She started marching towards the kitchen, it was your turn to follow her and watched her roam around the space for the needed ingredients, opening the cupboards and the refrigerator as if it was her own. You can only watch at the side as she started to cut the vegetables.

"So I was thinking..."

Mina started to talk while still cutting the carrots to pieces.

"Maybe you could join me tomorrow."

Even if she's not looking at your direction, you could still hint the slight hesitancy in her tone.

"Where to?"

You leaned your elbows on the counter with eyes trained at her.

"I'm planning to make my hair blonde, so please-"

"Nope."

You heartlessly rejected that made her gasp in disbelief, it made her halt in what she was doing but after a second she continued anyway.

"Why are you like this, unnie~ I asked you nicely, at least think about it first."

If you were not so far from her you could've pinched her bloated cheeks by now with how much she's sulking. You reveled at the pleasing sight presented to you, you're sure she'll be the death of you one day when she continued to be this cute. Who would have known a pouting penguin can be appealing too.

"It could take hours to finish, and I don't want to wait."

You argued.

"It won't be that long, I promise."

"With how long your hair is, I doubt it."

"Unnie, just go with me. Pleaaaase?!"

"I told you, I don't wanna. And why are you bothering to change your looks, you're already beautiful enough."

You swear it just slipped out of your mouth without a brake.

"Ah!!"

But before you beat yourself up for the sudden compliment you threw just like that, you heard a pained cry from the penguin. Turning your head quickly, you saw her left forefinger bleeding.

Without a second thought you closed the gap between you two and held her wrist before dragging her to the sink to wash the blood caused by the cut.

"Aish! Why are you so clumsy."

You clicked your tongue in annoyance when you inspected the gash that was quite deep.

Mina flinched when you tried to touch it, out of instinct you started blowing it to ease the pain after shutting the flowing water. You didn't even noticed how the girl in your hold blush with your action since you're so focused on blowing air on the finger that thankfully stopped bleeding.

"Wait here, I'm going to get the first aid kit."

You didn't wait for a reply and already made your way to the bathroom where the kit was placed. When you returned you saw how Mina obediently staying in her place, you wanted to pat her head badly for being such a good girl.

"You should be careful, you silly kid. What if it's not just as simple as this and cut off your finger for real? Do you wanna lose a finger that bad?"

Y