The next morning, she woke up with a massive headache. How many hours had she even been asleep for now? If not for the doorbell which had went off just a second ago, she would have stayed in bed until the sun went down. Fluttering her eyes open against the sharp rays of dawn light, Taegi pulled on the cardigan which was waiting for her attention on the bed post and tied her hair up in a messy bun before reaching the landing pass the boundary of her bedroom. The house was small, barren, but for some reason, today it seemed even emptier. Answering the rosewood door, Taegi was surprised to see Myungsoo waiting for her on the front side of the rooftop porch, his back to her.

He turned around when he felt her presence in the winterish air.

Myungsoo was dressed in his favourite ironed plaid shirt, his hair flat and fringe shading until the tip of his eyelashes. A silly smile was sitting on his lips and the crafty intention that Taegi never missed seemed to be tucked away behind his glinting eyes. She didn’t notice until later but he was keeping two ebony suitcases behind him, too. He pulled them forward with little effort, though they scratched noisily against the concrete path leading up their duplex’s doorsteps.

Then she remembered; it was the day Myungsoo was going to leave.

Taegi was unsure why she was shivering then. It was winter every Valentine’s Day, but for some reason, Taegi couldn’t help but think it was colder this year. Was it because it was breezy outside, or was it because the thought of leaving their estate so soon was suddenly just too overwhelming? Snapping her finally out of a daze was a click of his fingers and his rosy morning voice.

“You feeling okay?”

He reached over to cup her forehead in his right hand, and pulled away only when he could ensure the fever from the previous night had died down.

“Been better,” she croaked.

“Well, I brought breakfast, if that helps.”

“Thanks... But I can’t. I have to get to–”

“No buts. I already contacted them.” He grinned shyly, taking a step into the threshold of the house. “I told them you’ll be signing out, be on break for a while, you know.”

“Oh.” So he wasn’t only just bluffing yesterday. “What about abeoji and umma...”

Taegi didn’t finish her sentence, when suddenly Myungsoo exposed finally the two flight tickets which were previously buried up his sleeves. “They granted us permission.”

Taegi stifled a gulp. There was no going back now. “Great.”

'Looks like we're finally getting to run away with each other, like you've always wanted.'

If there was one thing Myungsoo was bad at, it was exposing her after detecting her lies, so he played along. Perhaps this was the best for her. “So, when shall you pack? Or did you want me to help you with it?”

A wilting rose stemmed from his fingers as he walked over to her desk. So Taegi didn’t come today. Sungyeol recalled with a bitter taste of anxiety at the back of his throat how Sungjong and the crew behind him came up and informed him that Taegi had, to his utmost surprise, dropped out of school without telling the any of them.

Myungsoo, too.

It did little to alleviate the stress he'd been feeling since morning after that phone call he'd taken in the infirmary.

Thoughts of them coincidentally eloping together crossed his mind, once, twice, until he realised how silly that sounded. What time frame were they still living in, the Elizabethan era? He snapped himself out of the thought, but it returned as easily as he let it slide when Sungyeol remembered how threatened his position next to Taegi actually was. Sungyeol knew Myungsoo liked Taegi, too. He made it so much more obvious to her--only because his sick mother had been admitted into hospital lately and he hadn't the time to care for Taegi. But it hurt Sungyeol to know that that didn't change too much. If need be, of course she would still choose the younger gentleman over himself...

Sungyeol called Taegi a few times already, but she hadn’t picked up. He wasn’t allowed to leave the campus grounds either until after school hours, and when he did later that afternoon, she wasn’t at home. Maybe she was with Myungsoo? As ridiculous as the notion seemed, Sungyeol knew it was the last straw. They weren’t exactly on bad terms with one another or anything either so… Pulling out his flip phone again as he began to search for someone who might have known Myungsoo’s number, a text message he would have never expected suddenly popped up in his mailbox. It was from the hospital again. At the worse time ever, too. He embedded the contents of it into his mind before taking one last glance at her doorstep.

Disappointed she had not stayed long enough to hear his confession, Sungyeol could only leave a second time that same hour empty-handed--this time to make a phone call, possibly regarding the life and death of someone he loved very much. He couldn't afford risking the loss of both on the one day, so he abused whatever time he had, however all the while with only one thought oscillating in his mind.

Taegi… where did you go?

Taegi grew impatient watching the people at the airport pulling their luggage past the gates. She couldn’t see it, but she could imagine people fumbling to their seats on the plane on the other end, and looked down at the two tickets she was holding in her frostbitten hands. Her gaze was only diverted when a pair of warm hands took them.

“Are you sure about this?”

She nodded her head, but without looking into his eyes.

“You’re not waiting any longer? Isn’t he even going to come and bid you goodbye?”

She shook her head. She lied to Myungsoo about sending Sungyeol a text message last night, telling him that something had happened and that she would be leaving the country immediately. She then lied about giving him the hour, and how he wasn’t even here yet, when in all of reality all she wanted to do was to stay a little longer in the city that had given her the most memories. After all, she had always been on the move since she was little. There was never really a place she could ever form a genuine connection to, until she met Myungsoo and his parents, his home, but it looked like she would have to give this one up too. She wanted to be able to leave with happy thoughts, and if Sungyeol had come, she knew she wouldn’t be able to do that. It was crystal clear to her–the fact that she had now meant nothing to Sungyeol. What wrong would she have needed to commit to stay and pain herself more? The boy she loved was probably too busy spending Valentine’s Day with some sunbae he never even bothered to introduce to her anyway.

A few of his--along with the rest of the boys'--messages piling up in her inbox were convincing her otherwise, but she brushed them off. Sifting through and then wanting to reply to them would only make her more miserable. More confused. She was helpless enough the way she was. Taegi didn't think she had the nerve to handle another disappointment, either.

'Wonderful news to tell me, huh...

Congratulations in advance with unnie, Sungyeol.'

Taegi was clicking her nails again. Frustrated, Myungsoo slipped his hand into hers and his other hand took her luggage. Suddenly he felt uncertain about the whole path ahead of them. Sure, he wanted to take her away from Seoul and go live a life of their own out in the bigger cities; they were old enough now. But if it was because he was forcing her to, then he’d be happier knowing she actually wanted to stay. Myungsoo didn’t want to be remembered as the one who ruined Taegi’s future, or the one who took her love of her life from her. As much as he felt pressured by it, he was fully aware of the fact that Taegi had liked that Sungyeol kid a lot. For the last few hours he found himself sleepless thinking about what could have possible happened between them. Was it a couple’s quarrel? A misunderstanding? Not like they were a couple in the first place or anything, but the silent treatment seemed to be working.  But he never asked, because he promised himself to always respect her decision. Taegi must have had her own reasons. Besides, it wasn’t like they were never coming back.

Deciding to give her another chance to turn back before he officially took her away, away for himself, he asked her one last time.

“…Won’t you miss him?”

Pretending to be unfazed by the question, she took the luggage back from Myungsoo’s grip and pivoted on her feet in the direction of the terminal gates. Immediately he knew she didn’t want to hear anymore. She just wanted to leave this place. The quicker, the better. The quicker, the further away she could be from all these bad memories. Either way, the person she was going to have the hardest time forgetting was still going to be Sungyeol. She might as well as get everything over and done with before worse was to come.

Myungsoo stepped in to take the luggage from her, again, instead letting her hold his hand, again. “Here, let me.” She found herself doing so obediently, like a lost child finally reunited with her guardian. Taegi squeezed Myungsoo’s hand, as though to ask for his consent that she was actually making the right decision before taking a step.

Last time, Sungyeol didn’t wait for her.

She was determined to do the same.

“Ready?”

Taegi needed some time to start over--something she'd been meaning to do since her parents left her, something she would have achieved by now if Sungyeol had not been such a lovely distraction, dedicing unfairly to appear magically in her life when she felt most desolate.

Maybe she wasn't just selfish, leaving like this, after all.

Now they were even.

“I'll be okay.” She settled her breathing, and finally gave Myungsoo a reassuring nod. “Oppa, let’s just go.”

❖❖❖

Five years passed like a gust of wind, the last sigh of winter sweeping them off their feet, freezing their memories on the doorstep of eternity.

For a time Taegi actually shamelessly blamed her childhood friend for not stopping her, but ultimately, that did nothing to console her. Taegi never turned back after that, as though her mind had been a piece of her heart instead of her brain the whole time. The memories she accumulated with her one real source of happiness until now was never given the chance to bloom. Without the tendrils of the past gripping onto her however, she could finally view a newfangled path on the other side of the world that belonged to her, and solely, to her. Maybe the pieces to the jigsaw puzzle of her life would fit together better this way. Yes, that was right. She left it at that.

He was right--Taegi had to learn to love herself, before she could love anyone else. Letting go, and cherishing what you already had, it was all part of growing up.

Not struggling to reach a comforting point with Myungsoo, Taegi embraced this as an alternative route to a clearer future ahead of her, in pursue of her dream, as her childhood best friend liked to call it. Already she could see herself opening up just a little to Myungsoo, who had been readily there from the start, and she didn't regret it. They could turn over a new leaf together, for all they knew.

From a place where their memories could only be left buried in the snow, they flew to a place where the snow seldom fell. She boarded that plane, five years ago, and five years it took for her to truly move on, for all that snow clumped up around her heart to melt. And by the time deep down inside she knew it was really all just a façade for escape, a selfish escape from the whims of her imagination, it was already too late to go back.

The old Cho Taegi… and Lee Sungyeol... I guess this is goodbye.

--`,-{@}-`,--`,-{@}-`,-`-,-`-,--

a/n: finally edited everything up to date LOL. omg I took so long to perfect the mood and the whole thing still sounds shifty ;A; this is why I fail long chaptered fics!! but nevertheless, for new, old and silent readers, I hope it didn't that much! thanks for reading, this will be the last update for a while, comments would be naisu. owo