... / ...
 

...

Then came the next day which was a Sunday and should have been a day off for both of them and they could have spent together.

But Jongin had something to do, he made a final decision and he had to do that as soon as possible.

He pretended then a jump of one hour to make the theater and Baekhyun smiled by acquiescing, before taking it in a very long kiss at once soft and intense which covered the body of chills, then ...

"-I must go away, too. Said Baekhyun. I do not know when I'll come back, will you wait for me?

Jongin did not understand the real meaning of this sentence and nodded in turn. Baekhyun then kissed him again and Jongin left without turning, not seeing his companion reaching out to him without uttering a word, pierced by a pain he had never felt before.

...

And when Jongin came back, an hour later, the light heart to have broken with his paramour, it was unfortunately an hour too late ... Baekhyun was no longer there.

Baekhyun had left and left a letter for him.

* * * * * * *

Jong In,

I love you, but I'm leaving.

You need to live other than "us two" for now, so I leave my place to this other than me.

Because yes, I know for a long time that he is there.

And I tried, but I can not forget myself enough, as I have been doing for months, to pretend that everything was fine, last night I lost faith in ourselves ...

So, do not be angry at me, because I love you more than anything in the world and one day, I'll come back to ask you if you want me again ...

if you want an "us" again

But today I need to find myself, to be alone with Baek Hyun, to understand what's wrong with him, for you to need another.

So, don’t look for me please, wait for me.

I love you.

. Baek Hyun.

* * * * * * *

The tears he shed then, Jongin kept them for himself, he did not deserve the compassion of anyone.

Since those long months to believe that Baekhyun loved him too much to doubt him, during those long months lying to him openly ... Baekhyun knew.

Baekhyun loved him too much ... to tell him that he knew he might decide to leave him for the other ... And he, selfish and stupid, had not seen anything.

During those long months, he had hurt him ... Would he really come back? And him ? Did he deserve Baekhyun to return to him one day?

In any case he was going to wait for him and no matter how long it would take before he reappeared in front of him, the place next to him was his and no one could replace him.

And if by misfortune he never came back, if he found happiness elsewhere ... he would reduce his pain, would be very small and forget ... Baekhyun deserved to be happy, even if it was not with him.

...

And from that moment ... Jongin waited for Baekhyun's return.

...

The next five months, Jongin did not have any news of Baekhyun, neither from himself, nor from anyone, and he respected his wish not to be sought, just waiting for him as he had asked in his letter.

And one day, returning from the theater, he was surprised to find Kyungsoo.

They greeted each other. Kyungsoo was cold, but offered him a coffee. And when he refused, the young man did not give him a choice.

Jongin then followed him, ready to accept all the reproaches he was, he knew, about to make him.

He could never crush enough, or confuse himself in excuses, to be forgiven for the harm he had done to Baekhyun during those long months. So he was going to take everything Kyungsoo was going to tell him and get small, that would be it.

...

It was in a small bar a few steps away that Jongin followed Kyungsoo.

They did not take a word off, they settled at a small table in the back of the room, face to face. Then, waiting for a waitress to take care of them, they still did not say anything.

And Jongin, who was dying to ask him if Baekhyun was doing well, did not dare raise his head, so crushed was he by the disapproving look of his table neighbor.

The waitress came to take their order and when she slipped away, he finally decided to start.

"-Is ... Is Baekhyun doing well?

"You do not read the press?

" -Yes but...

"-What would you prefer me to say to you? That he is well, that he has recovered from you and that you should disappear, or that he is bad, that it is your fault and that I hate you for that?

"-...

Jongin did not answer, her heart twisted with pain and the waitress brought them their coffees, sneaking away again quickly.

"-Do you remember the last time you saw him or heard you laugh? Kyungsoo asked after a short silence.

Jongin lowered his head.

"-For me, the last time it happened before me was this day, remember? When we decided what gifts we would buy for Chen, for his birthday ... last year ... he said in a harsh voice.

And Jongin remembered that day very well. It was in September ... ChanYeol had said something about a camel suit and he had even gone on another nonsense, which he did not remember, but Baekhyun laughed, burst out laughing, would even a fairer word ... Was it really the last time for Kyungsoo? And for him? Reflecting quickly, it was with horror that he realized he could not find another one either ... Why? It was still last year!

"-Then what is it for you? Kyungsoo insisted, interrupting his thought.

"-...

Without a response from him, Kyungsoo winced, visibly displeased.

"-The same as me is not it?

"-...

" -You want to know why ?

"-...

"-Well, I'll tell you, why ! It's because the next day he saw you ... He said like a bomb.

The pain that ran through Jongin's heart to his words was violent.

"-He saw you ... and he was quiet ... he just went out and you, poor idiot, blind and insensitive, you didn’t see anything! He spat in a grin of hatred. You should have seen these changes! You lived with him! You should have seen! .... And me too ... he finally let go. I blame myself so much for not noticing his confinement ...

"-You have nothing to reproach yourself for ...

"-Oh, but I know it ! He cut him. Everything is your fault ! But Baekhyun did not tell me anything, he did not tell anyone, he kept everything to himself. You understand ?

"-...

"-Then keep your compassion for yourself! I have nothing to do with your opinion of my role in this story. If I had known, believe me, I would have told him to leave you right away! You are no longer my friend Jongin. You did the worst thing. You hurt the sweetest and kindest of this ing planet, you ... you're a junk, for me you ...

Interrupting, Kyungsoo frowned.

"-Wait two seconds ... you don’t care what I tell you, you don’t even defend yourself?

Jongin stared into his, gritting his teeth, while that left leg jumped under the table and when he finally opened his mouth to speak, Kyungsoo went faster than him:

"-So, you're not supposed to know that, but I tell you that Baekhyun has found someone else ... and this guy is a kind and funny guy who, I'm sure, will be able to do it again smile and laugh ... he revealed, before being interrupted ... well ...

Because Jongin burst into tears and he smiled.

"-I prefer that ..." he continued, as his neighbor finally revealed his grief.

Waiting a little, for the sake of revenge, he had to admit it, Kyungsoo drank the rest of his coffee in one go and put down his cup, before pushing it aside and leaning toward him.

" -It's wrong ! He said dryly. Stop crying, I made you walk, I wanted to make sure you really had something to and I got my answer.

Looking up at him, Jongin still crying, said nothing, his hand shaking in front of his mouth. But his relief was seen in his flooded eyes and Kyungsoo shook his head.

" - ! If you love him that much, why did you do that to him? You ... you were the nucleus of his life, you ... he always loved you like a madman, he admired you, even belated you ... you were everything for him and you, you love him So how can you be so stupid?

Jongin lowered his head.

"-No no, he's not doing well. He is unhappy and does not overcome his sorrow, because he thinks it's his fault and ... "he interrupted himself, fluttering his eyes, suddenly overwhelmed by his own emotion. And I can not convince him otherwise because ... but because I do not know ... Did he do something? Or not done? Why did you need another? What did you miss?

Jongin shook his head and ran his hand over his face to remove his tears, though his eyes still clouded.

"-It's not his fault. It's me ! Me and a sudden temptation of the forbidden .. but it's ... embarrassing to talk about it ... we ...

"-I do not care that it's embarrassing for you, I want to know! There was a click and one day you cheated on it for the first time. Why ?

"-...

Hesitant for a moment, Jongin took a look at the room around them, before looking at his neighbor again and launching himself.

"-It's ... a ..." He hesitated again. One evening, very late, leaving the theater ... A guy was there ... in front of the artists' exit and ... he was waiting for me ... he ... and he ... flattered me, said lots of things ... about his admiration and his ... desire for me and ... he found direct access to my ego, he ... he started to touch me and ... and I let it go, it was ... it was exciting and ... and I ed it there ... I ...

"-Oh damn ..." Kyungsoo interrupted him. Never underestimate the ego of a guy ... I presume he came back ...

"-Yes, every night he was there and ... and every night it ended the same way ..." He said closing his eyes, gnawed guilty to mention these things .. And one day he has We wanted to see each other again in broad daylight, elsewhere, the first date, which I accepted ... and ... things became different ...

"-He knew you were already in a relationship?

"-Yes ... he had already seen us together ... but ... I was disappointed ...

"-What?

"-This ... this thing ... she was no longer there ...

"-You mean that from the day it became something other than a in an alley, you did not want it anymore?

" -That's it. He said, lowering his head.

"-Then why have you continued?

"-By cowardice ... He was in love with me and ... I did not want him to take revenge by telling Baekhyun, I did not want to lose Baekhyun.

"-In the meantime you spent more time with him than with Baekhyun!

" -I know...

"-And you did not even bother being there at his first.

"-Oh I know too ..." he said, his hand on his mouth, when he nearly started crying again.

"-Baekhyun was in the room on the day of the first presentation of your show.

Eyes fogged again, Jongin frowned.

" -It is true ? He said in a hoarse voice.

" -Yes. He would not have missed that for anything in the world. He follows you, he follows you in the press and everything, he ... you remain the center of his world, despite everything.

Jongin lowered his head and Kyungsoo bit his lip nervously.

"-Do you want him to be gone?"

" -Certainly not. But I sometimes wonder, what would have happened, if I had broken by phone, rather than go face-to-face.

"-What?

"-The day Baekhyun went away, I went to the house ... the other one, to break up ... I only left an hour, but when I came back ...

"-Baekhyun was no longer there ...

"-What ... but I wonder if he would not leave anyway, because his confidence in me was ... dead ...

" -No ! ... No it ... It's the fact that you go to see this guy that morning, that made him make this decision. After what had happened the day before ... The fact that you go to see each other, instead of staying close to him, was awful for him ...

A tear fell on Jongin's cheek and Kyungsoo straightened, leaning on the back of his chair.

"-I can not help but wonder if you would do it again ..."

" -I can not blame you...

"-Are you doing it? Would you let yourself be diverted from Baekhyun to the first speaker who would flatter your ego?

"-No ... No, it can not happen anymore, I ... by losing Baekhyun, I lost the most beautiful part of myself and ... and if my ego needs something, it is. .. it's him he needs, that's all ...

"-Wow ... I'd like Chan to tell me half of all these things ..." he said, closing his eyes for a second.

"-Start by telling him yourself ..." Jongin whispered.

Kyungsoo then stared into his, frowning and Jongin shook his head.

"-Excuse me I ... I have no advice to give you ... it came out alone ...

"-No, but, you're right ... We rest on what we have and the daily makes that we do not find any more useful to tell the other that we love it and ... and c is very stupid. We need to hear that from each other and ... and we need to tell him, too ... It's just that we do not realize it ... and ... we Let yourself be tempted by these words that a stranger tells us at the corner of a dark alley ... We live too much on our achievements, while love, it must be maintained every day, like a small garden, our secret garden in sum ...

Then he smiles.

"-Today, it's decided, I change my way of being! Besides, it makes me think that I will not hang out any longer, I have races to do. We are both going to Jeju Island during the last two weeks of August, our first vacation for a long time ...

" -You are right.

"-Oh, but it's not us! It was Baekhyun who organized this for our five years, he finds us a little too pale do you see? He said amused.

Jongin smiled as well and Kyungsoo tilted his head aside.

"-He has been living at home since ... Since he had not planned anything, he did not know what to do or where to go, so we kept him with us ...

Then he frowned exaggeratedly.

"-Hey! But he is turning us out of us actually! And when we go home he will have changed the locks! He said, before laughing.

Jongin smiled, amused, shaking his head, and Kyungsoo looked at him for a moment before getting up.

"-Good! I go. I'm glad I could speak with you and clarify some points. Let's say I hate you less now than before ... it's a good thing ... Do you want me to say something to Baekhyun?

"- .. He ... he doesn’t want me to seek or contact him, I ... I just do what he asked me ... I wait for him, that's all. .. then no, thank you. He said, looking down at his hands on the table.

" -Okay ! Kyungsoo said in a smirk. At one of these four then.

" -Yes. Jongin said, watching him walk away. Have a nice holiday.

"-Do not worry about that, we'll savor them ....

Jongin smiled and Kyungsoo nodded before leaving.

...

Once alone, finishing his now cold coffee, Jongin paid the bill and walked out of the bar.

Then, narrowing his eyes to the sun, he took the direction of his home, his head down, with the impression of being emptied.

...

Two days after this conversation with Kyungsoo, Jongin received a message from him that surprised him.

Observing the picture, who represented him with ChanYeol and obviously on the boat that would take them to Jeju Island, he smiled but narrowed his eyes. ChanYeol was holding a small piece of paper in front of them, Kyungsoo was pointing, and Jongin had to zoom in on the area to read what was written there.

Then we knocked on the door and he deciphered the letters: "We've been watching you"

Frowning, he shook his head and the person at the door knocked again, a little louder.

Laying down his phone, puzzled, he finally went to open his visitor and his heart jumped as he took a step back.

"-Baekhyun ..." he said, his throat tight, immediately overwhelmed by his emotion.

"-Hi Jongin ..." said Baekhyun, eyes bright.

Then as he was frozen, Baekhyun came in and closed the door behind him, before facing him again and staring into his.

He was there to ask a question ...

"-Do you want to again ...

" -Yes ! Jongin cut. That you only Baekhyun. He said, shaking his head, eyes flooded, without moving any more.

Moved, wiping a tear on his own cheek, Baekhyun took the two steps that separated them to snuggle against him and Jongin hugged him with all his might.

Nose buried in his neck, breathing in the smell that he had missed so much, Baekhyun then gave him his hug and they stayed for long minutes, cradling each other, murmuring these words that he had not not said for too long.

Then came the first kiss of this second part of their life together, sweet and almost shy, at first, but quickly filled with passion.

And it is devoured by this passion and lack of the other in the belly, the blood and the heart, that they unite for hours, to lose reason and woke up in the arms of one of the other in the early morning, in this bed which had always been theirs.

...

Of course, for Baekhyun forget was not so easy, but he had decided to trust him again and Jongin never made the slightest cut in the contract of their lives.

And after a few years, this memory had vanished, leaving their relationship clear and without erasure in his mind. Proof that their love deserved to be saved.

End.