“It’s… it’s not what it looks like.”

Taeil was still holding onto the doorknob when he noticed that his boyfriend Doyoung wasn’t alone in their shared apartment. He had already noticed the extra pair of shoes in the hallway and therefore knew that Doyoung had female company. Hence, he had carefully snuck towards the kitchen, following the noises coming from the inside. His boyfriend seemed just as surprised to see him so much earlier than planned as Taeil was surprised by the sight in front of him. Both stared at each other with pale faces and wide eyes. Both as if they had turned to stone, Taeil with the doorknob in his hand and Doyoung with a bloody knife in his.

And between them the dead body of a woman.

It was supposed to be a normal Thursday evening, nothing out of the norm. A nice evening with some wine and bread (maybe even some of the nice soft pretzels from the bakery just around the corner). They would have sat on the old and rickety folding chairs on their balcony, enjoying the fresh and mild air. Taeil would’ve rested his legs on Doyoung’s lap while they were eating and drinking. They would’ve watched the busy traffic on the streets below them and observed the sheer endless roads that made up the pulsing center of Düsseldorf. Both would have commented on how pretty the sunset was and waited until the city was doused in bright artificial light.

The air would’ve turned frigid at some point and they would’ve moved to the couch and watched some random TV show. Taeil might’ve tried to get some studying done until his lover convinced him to spend time with him instead of his medical textbook. He wouldn’t have touched the book again and instead focused on the sweet kisses they shared, which slowly would turn more passionate.

 

This Thursday however, seemed to turn into something more eventful.

Because instead of red wine, that Taeil, being as clumsy as he was, had spilled onto the floor a good number of times, the bright white tiles of their kitchen floor were now stained with blood.

“Well to me the situation seems to be quite clear.” Taeil placed a hand over his mouth. How much he would’ve loved to start screaming.

“She was one of them, Taeil.” Doyoung’s voice was quiet and his once shocked face was now weirdly tortured. Slowly he stepped over the body and threw the knife away. He didn’t appear to care that he stepped directly into the pool of blood and ruined his new slippers. He seemed to care even less about Taeil trying to evade him and turning his head away because he dragged the smaller man quickly further into the room and roughly cornered him against a wall.

He didn’t even have to put in a lot of effort since Taeil didn’t resist. He just continued to stare at Doyoung.

Usually the sight of Doyoung would be enough to calm him down and he loved to admire the fine details in his lover’s way too handsome face. This time however, he resisted the temptation and kept his face carefully blank. Instead of holding onto Doyoung, his arms stayed at his sides and his hands grasped onto the hem of his own shirt.

Clearly uncertain because of Taeil’s silence, Doyoung laid his hands on Taeil’s cheeks and caressed his soft skin. “She came to warn you. To warn you that I’m dangerous.” Doyoung started chewing nervously on his lip, not breaking eye contact. “I couldn’t let her. I couldn’t let her expose us. She didn’t seem to expect me to be here… and then she began saying all these awful things about me.” Doyoung contemplated something for a moment. “You know it was actually kind of funny how she tried to defend herself with a pair of children’s scissors, why ever she had those with her…”

Doyoung’s eyes were a little glassy as he seemed to let the scene play in his head again but Taeil interrupted him.

“You are dangerous.”

The words were spoken calmly; neither judging nor scared. The lines on Doyoung’s forehead disappeared. The atmosphere between them shifted immediately.

“Not as dangerous as you.”

The corner of Doyoung’s mouth twitched a little before he smiled the wide gummy smile that Taeil loved so much. This time however he didn’t let that show on his face. In general, Taeil’s surprise had faded. It was almost as if he had had a hunch before that was now confirmed. Instead of giving an answer he just laughed dryly.

“This has to be our secret, Taeil.” Doyoung’s serious tone mixed with the absurd statement elicited another snide laughter from Taeil.

“We already have a lot of secrets.”

“At least now there are none left between us.”

Doyoung’s eyes turned soft and he leaned down to kiss Taeil, who let him but did not reciprocate.

“Do you have anything to do with the murders from last week? Are you possibly the König der Herzen – the king of hearts?”

Silence. They didn’t need to talk since their eyes conveyed much more than words ever could. It was something that distinguished them from most couples. Instead of having to discuss everything in detail for them to reach a point of understanding, that wouldn’t offend anyone they only needed a look into each other’s eyes.

There was no denying that all those murders lately had occurred at the same time Doyoung went out. The police quickly concluded that they were dealing with a serial killer. Even though the murder weapon was never the same and the victims seemed to be chosen at random they all had one thing in common. Their murderer had cut out their hearts.

A missing alibi on its own wasn’t strong evidence, especially in a crime case as complex as this one. Nevertheless, Taeil was sure. He had known Doyoung long enough.

“They could’ve put in a little bit more effort into the name, don’t you think?”

Taeil rolled his eyes. And pushed Doyoung away from him, giving the third person in the room his undivided attention. Carefully he stepped closer and knelt next to the woman. As he turned around her head to get a better look at her he hissed and closed his eyes. He recognized her. Seeing dead bodies was something he was used to at this point but seeing someone he knew before still hurt.

“What happened anyways?” Taeil got up and left red footprints on his way to the sink. He thought he had bought bleach a while ago.

Meanwhile Doyoung didn’t feel the need to make himself useful and nudged the body’s head with his foot. Her beautiful face was now turned towards him and he couldn’t quite look away from her blank dead eyes.

“Well… as I said, she tried to threaten me with her scissors, and I tried to calm her down…. I… I’m not the most patient person…well you know that.”

“Oh yes I do.”

“…yeah and I tried to throw her out, but she knew too much and you know how much I hate blackmailing people…”

“Doyoung…”

“Well yeah she suddenly ran into my knife.”

Silence.

“She ran into my knife ten times.”

 

 

After Doyoung had explained the course of events in such an enlightening way, Taeil needed a moment before he opened his mouth again. Meanwhile the two of them had wrapped the body into a bedsheet. With great effort, Taeil had removed the bloodstains from the floor.

Now that the puzzle pieces were slowly coming together everything appeared to be even more complicated.

Was knowledge enough to justify death? If this were a mafia movie the answer would be clear. Taeil however, preferred to think he was part of a hero’s story. With Doyoung as the main character. He never said it out loud, but he admired the man at his side a great deal. Doyoung was a good person. Someone that helped the oppressed and took care of the bad guys…. In his way.

Sometimes his sense of morality was a little crooked and now he had shown his impulsiveness too, but Taeil was completely whipped for Doyoung and knew how to ignore all those things.

“I can’t believe I’m in love with such an amateurish murderer.”

Taeil threw the third blood-soaked rag into the trash can. Right, he would have to dispose of those later as well. Maybe burning everything would remove most of the traces. The same would happen to the woman who was now chopped up and stuffed into Taeil’s favorite sports bag. (“HEY, I STILL NEED THAT” – “It’s the only one that can fit all of her…. I promise I’ll buy you a new one…”)

“This is an exception. I didn’t plan this.” Doyoung began and didn’t appear to be disgruntled in the slightest. More like the opposite. Taeil’s comment had put a stupid grin on his face. Slowly he stepped towards his lover and put his hands on the smaller man’s shoulders.

“That won’t make a difference to her.” Taeil looked at Doyoung and pulled up an eyebrow.

“She kept her heart….”

“Instead you chopped her into pieces and stuffed her into my new sports bag.”

There was no answer, just a small sigh as Doyoung pulled the other into his arms, those strong arms that Taeil adored so much. The feeling of security always gave him the chills and made him nuzzle closer to the other’s body. Over the years things tend to fade away or lose their magic, yet Doyoung’s touch never failed to make Taeil fall for him a little harder.

 

“Thanks for staying by my side, no matter what.” Doyoung’s voice was nothing more than a whisper, his eyes were closed shut. He meant it. All of Taeil’s affection was only worth so much, because it was being returned equally.

 

That’s why he could only smile coyly and place his hands on both of his lover’s cheeks, framing his face carefully like it was a treasure. Being the smaller one, Taeil had to get on his tiptoes to peck the other’s lips gently, making him open his eyes. Both exchanged soft smiles.

 

“Always.“