I take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds before I slowly breathe out again. Then I take another one and breathe out. But it doesn’t slow down my rapidly beating heart, or stop my body from shaking slightly. I’m so nervous that I can almost taste it on my tongue. My palms are sweaty and it feels like there isn’t enough oxygen in the air I breathe. But it’s not a negative thing, because besides nervousness, I also feel excitement. Because today is my wedding day. After 5 years with Jimin, we’ve made it this far. We’ve been through a lot and there have been a lot of ups and downs along the way. But we made it through them all together and now we’re ready to say yes to each other. I take another deep breath and feel the fabric of my wedding dress tighten around my chest. I’ve gotten my hair and make-up done as well and I’m just waiting for the ceremony to begin. Mum, dad and Jungkook left not long ago and we had some family pictures taken too. Jimin’s mum stopped by too and started crying when she saw me. Happy tears of course and she gave me a big hug too before leaving. So, when there’s a knock on my door, I wonder who it could be.

“Come in,” I say and the door slowly opens. I turn around and see Taehyung appear. “Can I still come in?” he asks and hesitates on the doorstep. “Of course,” I say without hesitation and he closes the door behind him. Taehyung and I started drifting apart about 4 years ago and haven’t seen each other much. We never lost contact completely, but we would rarely see each other. Not because I deliberately wanted to stay away, and not because Jimin asked me to either. It just happened naturally. There were moments where I would really miss my best friend and then I would text him or meet up. But those moments would happen less and less and he rarely contacted me first. This is the first time in about four months that I see him. But the fact that he would think I wouldn’t want to see him at all, hurts a little. That was never my intention. I also didn’t hesitate when I said I wanted him there at the wedding, and Jimin didn’t protest. We also invited Areum, but she declined. Her and Taehyung aren’t together anymore either and haven’t been for a few years now. He hasn’t found anyone new either.

Taehyung hesitates again by the door and I sigh. I sit down in the couch next to the mirror and fight a bit against my dress to sit comfortably. Not that it’s a big puffy dress, but it’s tight.

“Come sit,” I say and pat next to me on the couch. After a short while he comes over and sits down, but doesn’t look at me. “It’s been a while,” he says and I nod, though he doesn’t see it since he’s looking elsewhere, “and thanks for inviting me by the way.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t want my best friend to miss my wedding,” I say and Taehyung looks at me out of the corner of his eye. “Am I still though? Your best friend?” he asks and I feel sad that this is where our friendship has ended. “You will always be my best friend Tae Tae. Always,” I say and he looks away again. “It’s just that we’ve drifted apart, and you didn’t seem like you wanted to reconnect, so I thought you didn’t care anymore,” he says in a small voice and I reach out to take his hand. “Taehyung look at me,” I say and something in my voice makes him do as I say, “no matter what happens, no one can ever replace you as my best friend, and I will never stop thinking about you as my best friend. Even if we don’t see each other for months, I still care for you the same. I don’t want to ever lose you.”

Taehyung turns more towards me and he looks confused. “I thought you didn’t want to be friends anymore. We rarely ever see each other and don’t talk much either. Several times I was sure I was gonna lose you. I knew you meant a lot to me, but when I thought about my life without you, I suddenly realised just how much. You often forget to appreciate and enjoy things that are there within reach all the time. Only when it’s not there, you realise how lucky you were to have it. So, I’m really glad you say we’re still friends.”

I give his hand a squeeze and smile at him. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say.”

“Yeah guess you’re right,” he says with a small smile. As I see him sit there and tell me he never knew how much I meant, till he thought he had lost me, I decide it’s time to tell him. Tell him something I should have said years ago.

“I have something I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time now, and today seems like the right time,” I say and take a deep breath, “I don’t know if you noticed, but about a year before you started dating Areum and I started dating Jimin, something changed for me.”

Taehyung looks confused, and with good reason, so I continue. “Around that time, I stopped thinking about you as only a friend and developed feelings for you,” I say and Taehyung’s eyes widen. Before he has time to say anything I talk again. “I couldn’t get myself to tell you because I thought it would make it weird between us, so I just tried to act like everything was normal. But I would often cry because of my one-sided feelings and I couldn’t stop myself from hoping that you would suddenly fall for me too. So, when you told me you were in love with Areum, I was heartbroken.”

Taehyung is silent, and is probably processing all this information I just told him. “So, you were in love with me for a year, but never told me, or tried to get me to fall for you?” he asks after a minute of silence. “I thought it would ruin our friendship if I did, and the thought of losing hurt more than my one-sided love,” I admit and he’s deep in thought again. “Were you still in love with me, when you and Jimin got together?” he asks and I nod slowly. “At that time he was in love with Areum and we used each other for comfort,” I tell him honestly and he looks shocked, “but then we developed real feelings for each other and managed to forget our feelings for you and Areum.”

“Jiwon…” Taehyung whispers and holds my hand tighter, “I wish you would have told me.” 

“Would you have returned my feelings if I had?” I ask and he looks down. “Had you told me when you first developed feelings, I honestly can’t tell you what would have happened. I always thought of you as family, and imagining you and I in a relationship never crossed my mind. But if you had told my, maybe I could start seeing you differently,” he says and I smile wryly. “Guess we’ll never know,” I say and shrug, “but that’s the reason why I acted weirdly when you first got together with Areum and pulled away. But because I later developed feelings for Jimin, I managed to stay friends with you till now. It’s true though that our friendship can never be like it was before I fell in love with you, because I will forever see you differently. For me it will never be the same again.”

Taehyung nods and sighs. “Even though it’s a lot to take in, because I never saw it coming, I’m actually glad you told me. It explains a lot,” he says and smiles, “I could never really figure out why you acted so distant after Areum and I got together. I just dismissed it as the way you changed after getting a boyfriend. And I’m sorry for never noticing your feelings. I never meant to cause you pain.” 

I smile and move closer to him. “No need to apologise. I did everything I could to hide it from you and the pain I felt, you didn’t inflict. It’s just how it feels to have a one-sided love. Besides all that is in the past now, so no need to feel sorry.”

His signature wide smile finally spreads across his lips and I can’t describe how happy I am to see it again. We hug each other tightly for about a minute and I enjoy every second of it. It’s so good to have him back. Just then there’s a knock on the door and we pull away from each other. My dad steps in and looks at me with teary eyes.

“It’s time, Jiwon,” he says and I breathe out slowly. I look at Taehyung again and he gets up from the couch, so he can help me to my feet. We all leave the room and walk to the closed doors that lead to the hall where Jimin is waiting for me. Taehyung walks in another door so he can go take his seat and I stand by my father’s side. He holds on to me and right now my legs feel like they really need the support. 

“Are you okay?” he asks and I nod slowly. I turn my head to look at him and see tears fall down on his cheek. “Are you okay?” I ask and can’t hide a smile. He nods too and dry the tears away. I give his arm a gentle squeeze and he sends me a reassuring smile. Just then the music starts playing and the doors slowly open. I take a gasp of air when I see Jimin at the other end of the room. He’s wearing a black tux with his black hair to match it and his face is one big smile. If my dad wasn’t holding on to me, I would probably run to him. But we have to walk slowly and it feels like forever until I finally stand next to my soon to be husband. The officiant begins talking, but I barely hear anything he says, because I’m busy looking at Jimin. Even though we met under the circumstances that we did 5 years ago, there’s no one else I would rather be standing here with than him. I’m extremely happy that I get to say ‘I do’ to him today and make him mine for the rest of our lives. 

We both make our vows and say our ‘I dos’ to each other before finally putting a ring on each other’s finger. I look at mine for a short while before I find Jimin’s face again and I’m smiling from ear to ear.

“You may kiss the bride,” the officiator says and without hesitation Jimin pulls me in for a deep kiss. Park Jimin, my husband now and forever.