Chapter 003
 

࿐ྂ

I had been staring at the letter on my desk for about an hour now. I just sat on my chair and did absolutely nothing at all apart from entertaining the debate in my head.

The other side of my brain told me that running away was such a cowardly thing to do, however, the other side convinced me that it was better to be a coward for a moment if it meant keeping yourself sane.

If I stay, I was certain that I’d be trapped in the same cycle. If I leave, I might actually figure things out and in fact possibly finally start living.

With the latter side of my brain winning over, I stood grabbing the letter before I walked towards Kim Eunhye’s office. That’s right, Kim Eunhye because at this point forward, she’s not my boss anymore.
 

࿐ྂ

4:10 AM

It was the morning of the following day.

I got off the cab and arrived at the train station where I agreed to meet him. I actually didn’t understand the need for us to leave this early but I did not dare question him anymore. I decided to trust him on this and yes, it sounded absurd even in my ears. How could I trust someone I barely knew about this whole thing?

Getting inside the station, it wasn’t a surprise that it was still almost empty except for a few passengers catching the first train of the day. Then, and of course him. I caught sight of him sitting on one of the benches near the platform.

It appeared to me that he was sleeping as his head was tilted down and there weren’t any movements from him as I neared his spot.

I took a moment to stand in front of him and gaze at him. He was dressed casually. Faded jeans paired with a black, long-sleeved top that showcased his broad shoulders and some decent sneakers. There was an off-white sweater on his lap a few inches from his arms that were crossed in front of his chest.

I took a moment to check what I was wearing. A little white t-shirt that went with this oversized, khaki long-sleeved blazer and loose high waist jeans. I was also wearing a pair of comfortable white sneakers. Hmm, I guess I was dressed properly for the trip after all.

I looked at him again and for a second, I asked myself if he could be someone with ill intentions. But then again I remembered what he told me when I went to his flat the last time.

“You told me that if I ever want to run away. I should come and see you.”

What could be his reasons for running away? Could it be that he already told me about it the night we first met and I was just too drunk to remember it now?

Cutting my overthinking, I saw him make a slight movement as he probably sensed my presence. Then he tilted his head up to meet my eyes before straightening his posture.

“You’re here.” He said, his voice a bit low and raspy from the nap. “I thought I’d end up being stood up.”

There was a slight hint of teasing in his tone which gave way to a subtle grin.

“I don’t break people’s hearts like that,” I replied with a growing smile on my lips which also made the corner of his lips turn upward. “I was a little worried though.”

“Of what?” He replied, looking confused.

“That you might be a whole scam,” I told him frankly which made him chuckle. “And that I resigned and was ready to turn my back on everything for nothing.”

Still, with a small smile, he shook his head before standing up.

“Please, I’m too good-looking to con someone.” He reasoned out as he carried his duffel bag by crossing the strap across his chest. “Don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” I replied quickly. “And I’m too pretty to be conned,” I added in a matter-of-fact tone.

We just had to take a few seconds grinning at each other’s remarks before we left to buy the tickets. He casually took my luggage and I didn’t even have time to refuse.

Checking the destination boards, he asked me where I wanted to go. Clueless, I shrugged my shoulders at him. He got the tickets and paid for the tickets while I stayed outside the ticket lane. When he was done, he went back to me and told me that he brought the tickets going to the last station.

“I thought that you might want to put as much distance as possible from your life here in Seoul.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, ready to .

“You seem to be an expert at this,” I stated. “This isn’t your first time doing this, right?”

He let out a small smile, amused with my remark just in time I faked a gasp.

“Tell me, how many girls have you run away with before?” I added, trailing behind him as he walked away. “Hey, avoiding my question, aren’t you?” I fastened my walk to catch up with him.

“You’re the hundredth.” He responded, quickly but it was obvious that he was just bluffing.

“Oh damn. Looks like I underestimated you in a sense.” I hissed, faking the hint of shock in my tone. “You’re kidding right?!” I purposely widened my eyes and stopped him from walking by standing in front of me.

He exhaled loudly before locking eyes with me.

“I did not expect this from you.” He told me which got me confused right away.

“Expect what?”

“You’re too bubbly for someone who showed up at my place last time and tried to have with me.”

Damn, did he have to remind me of that? I suddenly felt embarrassed remembering how that turned out. I was about to open my mouth to argue but he did not allow me to protest anymore as he left his spot leaving with his a little too handsome cocky smile.

“You can just tell me to shut up you know!” I said a bit louder. “You didn’t have to play me dirty like that.”

The way his head and shoulders shook, I was certain that he was laughing at me again.

࿐ྂ

We were standing next to the platform, waiting for the train to arrive at any minute. We stood quietly next to each other until we heard the train coming. I turned to check on the approaching vehicle but got interrupted when I felt him hold my arm.

I automatically looked at him, wonder painted all over my face.  

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” He asked, there was both concern and seriousness in his tone.  

“With what?” I gazed at him, trying to understand the meaning behind his question.

To be very honest, his question voiced out the hesitation I had been trying to brush off my mind.

“This.” He answered briefly, his eyes never leaving mine.

I momentarily looked away, my attention on the arm that he was holding.

“Doing this.” He added, giving my arm a slight squeeze. “With me. Someone you don’t completely know.”

I stared at him for a few good seconds before I glanced at the approaching train once more.

Turning to face him once more, it was obvious that he was waiting for an answer. It was as if he was giving me the chance re-think everything and back out if I wasn’t a hundred percent sure about this. Yet all I could do was just stare at him until the station made the announcement that our train had arrived.

The train stopped in front of us, making me fill my lungs with air.

“All my life…” I trailed off as I swallowed. “I’ve been surrounded by people who I don’t completely know anyway.”

His gaze intensified like he was making me think more about this carefully. Wanting to avoid it, I turned to the doors of the train, my brain ready to process the sound it would create as soon as they were opened.

“Haeyon.” He called my name with firmness, giving my arm a gentle squeeze once more. “I’m serious.”

Instead of meeting his eyes, I darted my attention to his hand that never left my arm since he held it.

“I am too.”

Thankfully, the doors finally opened and I took the chance to get inside but his hand stopped me again.

“Aren’t you scared?” He asked.

I couldn’t resist the need to face him anymore. He had a look on his face that seemed to remind me of how messed up my life already was and that there was no room for another mistake. But no, if I didn’t do this, I’d lose it. I definitely would.  

“Of you?” I replied when I found my voice.

“Yeah.” He nodded briefly. “Of what I can do. Of what could possibly happen the moment we step on the train.”

I didn’t know what exactly it was but it was in this moment I realized that I could trust him. There was something unexplainably consoling about him and his words right now.

“Well, what can you possibly do to me?” I asked back. “You can’t hurt me unless I allow you to…” I took a deep breath. “And what could you possibly want from someone who’s as broken and whose life is as messed up as mine?”

He looked at me as if searching my eyes for an answer beyond the words I just said. It was the announcement from the train that broke the eye contact. He left my eyes only to turn his attention to my hand.

“You know I’m just as messed up as you are.” He stated, slipping his hand into mine as he went back to stare at me once more. “Let’s go run away from here.”

I nodded in agreement.

With that, we stepped into the train.
Just in time, the doors closed behind us.

࿐ྂ

The train wasn’t like the modern ones. The set-up inside seemed old school and I liked it. The ticket he bought was for the ones with small rooms which contained a table in front of the spacious seats. I thought it was perfect for the long ride. We sat facing each other and had plenty of room to even lay down if we felt like sleeping.

“Why did we leave so early?” I couldn’t help but ask him as soon as I sat.

“Well,” he paused as he fixed his bag next to him. “The idea was to run away, right? It’s better done while the rest of the world is still fast asleep.” He added, sitting in front of me. “That way we won’t leave any trace.”

I nodded with the corners of my lips turned upward as I admitted the fact that there was something deep about this man. The way he formed his words and casually delivered them. It’s intriguing.

Taking my thoughts off him, I looked out of the window and watched the peeking sunrise through the tall buildings. I was amazed by the idea that this was the first time I ever got to beat the sun from rising. The first time in a long time that I was able to admire it.

Suddenly, I feel a bit sleepy and yawned.

“You can sleep, I’ll wake you up if you snore too loud.” He suggested and teased at the same time.

Turning to him, I saw him looking at the view outside the window too.  

“Are you sure you would still be here when I wake up?” I replied, teasing him in return.

“Why?” He smirked. “Are you scared I might disappear and take your stuff with me?”

I shook my head, unable to stifle a small laugh.

“No.” I disagreed. “If you should take something with you, it should be me. I’m way prettier than any of my stuff believe me.”

His chuckle resonated within the small room we were in.

“Okay, Miss Pretty.” He said emphasizing his last two words.

I did not see the rest of his reaction as I had shut my heavy eyes closed the next second.

࿐ྂ

When I felt the train pull to a full stop, I opened my eyes and was welcomed by the screaming daylight coming from the window. Squinting my eyes so I could adjust to the light, I stretched my arms forgetting that I was not alone.

“Morning Sunshine.” He greeted which startled me.

All of a sudden, I was brought back to the reality that I was on a runaway train with him.

“Where are we now?”

“Not there yet.”

He was still seated in front of me and was reading.

“So, you’re a reader…” I trailed off in a matter-of-fact tone.

“No, I’m just holding this to look cool.” He replied, his subtle sarcasm did not go unnoticed.

I automatically rolled my eyes at him while trying to stifle a smile.

“Yeah, I bet you have not turned the page for hours,” I told him.

Just as I finished my speech, he turned the page. Obviously and slowly.

“I did now.” He told me with a smirk, his eyes never leaving the pages.

I swear this man has his own ways of being sarcastic in a forgivable manner. The silver lighter on the table caught my attention making me change the topic.

“You smoke?” I asked but immediately thought of his response with the book thing. “Or do you carry it just to look cool as well?”

“I smoke.” He answered directly this time. “But only when I need to.” He went on as he glanced at me. “So, you don’t have to worry about secondhand smoking. I won’t ruin your lungs.”

I shook my head as I laughed at his remarks.

“Tell me now, are you always this sarcastic or…” I trailed off as I momentarily met his eyes when he took his attention off the book. “You’re always this sarcastic.”

“You should know the answer to that by now, considering that we kissed already.” His response caught me off guard.

“What are you suddenly talking about?”

“Ah. We did more than just kiss, as a matter of fact.”

“What else did we do?”

“Stuff that you obviously can’t remember.”

“For example?”

He raised an eyebrow, once again tearing his focus off the book by glancing at me.

“My hands,” he lifted a hand. “For instance…they’ve explored several parts of your body…some curves a stranger shouldn’t have…”

“Okay STOP!” I explained.

I took a deep breath.

“I want you to continue your fake reading,” I told him. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

“Why? Don’t tell me you’re not brave enough to know what else we did that night?” He let out a brief chuckle. “Didn’t you ask me if we had last time?”

I could see that he was enjoying this. He was teasing me, not mocking me for not being able to remember some stuff that night.

“Yes,” I answered, “I want to know but I don’t appreciate you making fun of me like this.” I reasoned out, my eyes on his hands which probably caught his attention.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to continue? You can’t seem to suspend the thought of my hands touching-”

“Oh damn it!” I hissed as I stood, sounding fed up. “It’s either you stop or I’ll throw your little book out the window?” I threatened him which only earned a little laugh from him.

“Violent, aren’t we?” The corners of his mouth turned upward.

“My god Baekhyun, stop talking already,” I said, feeling stressed out as I got out. “You’re making my head ache.”

I heard his faint laugh as I stepped out into the hallway.
 

࿐ྂ

When I got back to our spot, he seemed to have decided to sleep. He still had his arms crossed over his chest, his head tilted down.

Not wanting to wake him, I went back to my seat as carefully as I could. However, my hadn’t landed on the chair yet when I heard him speak.

“Wake me up when we get there.” He said, unmoving and with his eyes still closed.

“How do I know if we’re there?” I asked.

“The ocean.” He replied briefly.

Ocean? I thought, so we were heading east I guess.

I decided to take my phone out to check it. There wasn’t any notification at all and I didn’t know if I was supposed to be happy or annoyed by it. Staring at it a little bit more, I decided to deactivate my social accounts before shoving it back into my purse.

I spent a few good moments looking out the window at the view that was far different from the city we left hours earlier. As I continued to admire it, I realized that I couldn’t even remember the last time I took myself on a trip. So, this was going to be a breather for me. A breather from my suffocating, chaotic life.

The need to forget everything I left behind was strong. Closing my eyes, I imagined mentally dismissing the different tabs I want to get rid of in my head.

I didn’t know how long I had my eyes closed but when I opened them once more, I directly gazed at the man I was with right here. He was still in the same position.

I was really curious about him. He was hard to read and I felt the need to learn more about him. But that’s maybe because I should at least know stuff about him. I recalled how he looked that night at the bar. As a matter of fact, he was pretty decent at that time. The way he entertained me and saved me from that ert Hyojin.

However, I wasn’t really keen and good at judging other’s characters correctly which explained why my life was a mess currently. All three ex-boyfriends I had were a testimony of how my taste in men . The first one was too boring, and the second one was too aggressive and had an ego as huge as the Pacific Ocean. The third one of course has the cheater .

That was why I had chosen to remain single for the time being. I didn’t want to add any more complications to handle. I got a lot on my plate already and the urge to break that plate was tempting.

I wasn’t sure how long I had been entertaining random thoughts in my head when a refreshing view caught my attention. The trees outside the window were gone and were replaced by the azure meeting the sea from afar.

The ocean was the perfect blue, the water glistening due to the sunlight. From where I was I could see the waves, both calm and raging.

The sight, all of a sudden came like a rush of comfort. I was too engrossed in it, taking it all in. I could perfectly imagine how it would feel like breathing in the air at the shore.

“I thought you were supposed to wake me up?”

He spoke out of nowhere, catching my attention.

“Oh,” I muttered. “Sorry,” I added. “The view’s too perfect, I can’t compromise.”

“Compromise?” He smirked, as he fixed his hair by raking his fingers through it. “Big word. Deep.”

I laughed at his remark.

“Yeah,” I replied quickly. “I think deep.”

It was his turn to smirk.

࿐ྂ

10: 04 AM

I could already sense and smell the nearby beach, the moment we got out of the station. I unconsciously raised both my arms over my head to give my body a good stretch. I also filled my lungs with air in the process.

“Ah. The air here is so nice.” I started as I stretched a little more.

“Yeah.” He muttered and there was a hit of amusement in his tone. “The same air that will give you a stomachache if you keep you keep doing that.”

My eyebrows furrowed at his remark. Wondering, I thought of a possible reason for what he said. Then I remembered that I was wearing a little shirt inside my blazer. My eyes darting to my exposed skin, I immediately put my hands down and wrapped my blazer around my body tightly.

He must have sensed how I slightly panicked, causing him to let out a small laugh.

“What’s funny?” I asked him, my forehead creasing.

He still had that grin on his face when he leaned closer and whispered something to me.

“Don’t worry I’ve seen that part already.” He said, ending his sentence with a smirk before leaving me.

I scoffed as I glared at him, convinced that he was having so much fun doing this to me.

“Yah!” I called as I dragged my luggage with me as we walked. “I was wearing a dress that night, how could you possibly have seen it.” I reasoned out, getting in the mood to argue while I trailed behind him.

“Well.” He uttered as he swiftly turned around to look at me. “As far as I know I have two hands Hayeon.”

“Uhuh?” I mocked him, laughing as I found his reason absurd. “Who doesn’t?”

He smiled cockily with a little bit of handsome eyebrow raise.

“You’ll be surprised when you know what I can do with…” He paused, and stopped walking to show both of his hands. “These hands can do wonders.”

I stared at them as my brain tried to invent possible scenarios pertaining to the wonders done by his hands. When I felt a tinge of warmth on my cheeks, I cleared my throat.

“Whatever, let’s go.” I walked hurried steps towards the bus stop.

When I saw one approaching, I turned around to signal him to walk faster.

“We’re going to ride a bus, aren’t we?” I asked him when he was next to me. 

His reply came in the form of a shrug as he shoved both of his hands inside his jeans pockets. His hoodie was placed over his right shoulder.

“Well, I’m too tired to walk. Let’s just take the bus.” I suggested the exact time the bus stopped in front of us.

He nodded without any word before he took my luggage from me. He signaled me to get on the bus first as he followed suit. There were only a few locals on the bus. I walked towards one of the vacant seats. Occupying the window seat, he sat next to me.

“Where are we going?” I asked, realizing that we had not really talked about it.

“I have no idea.” He replied, shaking his head sideways.

I sighed before my stomach growled.

“You hungry?” He asked.

 There wasn’t any form of teasing both in his tone and facial expression but my stomach growling kinda embarrassed me.

“I wanna act demure and say I’m not but my stomach gave me away already, so…” I trailed off as I saw him leaning towards the aisle to the passenger on the other side.

It was an old lady who he politely asked for the best food to eat in the place. I must admit, he seemed very sociable. The elder lady smiled at him when he thanked him later on.

“She said there’s a famous Kalguksu restaurant that’s fifteen minutes away.”

“Okay, I love Kalguksu. It’s been a while since I last had it.” I replied and just had to cover my stomach when it let out another growl.

I expected him to say something annoying but to my surprise, he didn’t. In fact, what he did was something crazier. He hummed a famous Korean song from EXO called Growl.

I was so tempted to open my mouth and yell at him but for the sake of my dignity, I kept my mouth shut. As a result, I pretended not to know the song.

࿐ྂ

It turned out the famous Kalguksu place was located in the small town’s center. A few meters from the place were a small shopping store, a few humble eating places and I think the town’s market was only a walking distance as well.

We ordered and ate as soon as we got there. The servings were a lot huge compared to the ones in Seoul and it was even cheaper here. Not to mention, the ones we ate here were tastier.

“Ugh, it’s so good!” I exclaimed when I finished the whole bowl as I leaned on the chair. “It’s the best Kalguksu I’ve ever tasted.”

I saw his mouth form into an upward cave as if he was trying to stifle a smile while still trying to eat.

“I wanna have this again tomorrow, can we go back here?” I leaned closer to him and waited for him to meet my pleading eyes.

“Tomorrow?” He muttered.

I nodded like an excited child.

“And the next day, and the next day after that, and then the next after that…” I added, wearing the same tone.

“Do wanna live here instead?” He asked with a cocky smile.

My lips formed into a line as I leaned away from him.

“Fine, if you don’t want it. I can go here every day and enjoy it alone.” I glared at him.

A few minutes after, he went to the cashier to pay for what we ate. While I waited for him, I took my fixed my hair up in a loose ponytail.

࿐ྂ

We were a few steps away from the Kalguksu place when he asked me what I want to do next. I couldn’t really answer the question since I didn’t know the place. So, we decided to just walk for now.

There weren’t a lot of people in the street. Maybe because it was a weekday or it was just like this here in this small town. I had seen a few ones but they were mostly elders going to the market, some riding their bicycles and the others were walking.

“Why didn’t we bring a car?” I asked Baekhyun out of curiosity. “I mean it’s not that I don’t like walking, I like it for now but don’t you think that it would have been easier to explore if we didn’t have to worry about what to vehicle to take,” I added, explaining not wanting to sound ungrateful.

“You’re right.” He answered without glancing at me. “We could have gone to places easily. But don’t you think it’s more interesting to experience life in a whole different way? Without the things you have gotten used to.” He went on, his tone calm as he explained.

I gave him a short nod, realizing what he meant.

“I don’t know about you but I want to try to live differently while we are on this. That way, I’d be able to convince myself that I left the toxic part of my life back at the place we departed.”

“You. Think. Deep. Too.” I replied in syllables, and my grip on my luggage’s handle tightened.

“How about you?” He turned to me. “What do you want to do now?”

I took a deep breath, trying to process his question.

“I want to…” I thought hard. “I want to be…I want to be good to myself.” I added, momentarily meeting his gaze before I turned to the long road ahead of us. “I want to allow myself to be happy with the little things. I want you to forgive me for being so hard myself. You know?” I chuckled when I realized that what I just said must have not made sense. “I want to feel good, I want to make up for all those years I spent making myself work hard for other people. I wanna work hard for myself now.” I trailed off, feeling a bit sad recalling some of the instances in my life.

I suddenly stopped walking and he did too. I took a good deep breath before I faced him and looked him in the eye.

“I just want to give all the love I owe myself,” I said in a gentle tone. “This time.”

He did not reply but there was something in the way he gazed at me. I could somehow sense that he understood me. I saw how his lips formed into a subtle smile.

“I hope I didn’t sound selfish,” I remarked with a small laugh as I looked away.

I attempted to walk with my luggage with me. However, I felt his hand on mine as he took my luggage from me.

“No, you don’t.” He muttered, his eyes boring into mine. “I’ve seen many faces of selfishness and that’s definitely not one of them.” He went on, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

There was something about what he said that made me feel better. It was consoling.

We walked on, slowly.

Knowing that we didn’t have to hurry.

࿐ྂ

We saw a small waiting shed after fifteen minutes of walking. It was empty, so we decided to take a rest for a bit. There were only a couple of cars that passed since we got here and there were a few buses too.

I looked up and admired the clear sky. The weather was good and the wind was cool. Late spring was the best, I thought.

“I can’t believe I’m right here with you on a day like this,” I s