Xiao Zhan had known this would happen.

 

From the moment he turned around and returned to Murong Fei’s side, he had known that one day, someone from Flowing Snow Pavilion would find him. And when that happened, he had been prepared to fight to protect Murong Fei to the end.

 

And yet, when Xuan Lu removed her hood and gazed at him, Xiao Zhan froze and stared dumbfoundedly at the woman he had treated as a sister for as long as he could remember.

 

“Lu-jie.” He breathed, his voice catching at the base of his throat. The corner of Xuan Lu’s lips quirked up slightly at the familiar phrase.

 

“It’s been a while, Ah-Zhan.” She said softly, flicking her sword back into its sheath in one fluid motion. Murong Fei peeked out from behind Xiao Zhan and tugged on his sleeve cautiously.

 

“You know her?” She asked quietly. Xiao Zhan swallowed hard and nodded, one hand reaching out to squeeze hers reassuringly. In a way, he had to count himself lucky. If it had been anyone else that had found him, Murong Fei would have been dead by now. Fortunately, Xuan Lu was more level headed than many others at the organization. Xuan Lu’s gaze moved carefully between Xiao Zhan, Murong Fei, and his protective stance in front of her. A tiny smile crossed her lips, and she scoffed softly as she shook her head.

 

“It seems like there are many things I need to know about.” She said, “Ah-Zhan, aren’t you going to invite me in?” Murong Fei’s hand tightened on Xiao Zhan, her body growing tense. Xiao Zhan hesitated, his hand tightening over Murong Fei’s smaller one. Xuan Lu sighed softly and placed her sword on the wooden table outside the house.

 

“I won’t touch her.” She promised. Xiao Zhan hesitated for another moment, then stepped aside to let Xuan Lu inside their little home. She looked around curiously as she sat down at the table. Xiao Zhan looked at Murong Fei’s concerned expression, then gave her a slight push towards the back.

 

“Stay back there until I come get you.” He said. Murong Fei shot him a startled look, but Xiao Zhan shook his head.

 

“She won’t hurt me.” He promised, “Of all the people that could have arrived, she is the safest of all of them.” Murong Fei’s gaze switched briefly over to Xuan Lu for a moment before looking back at Xiao Zhan. He offered her a reassuring smile and nodded. Blowing out her breath slowly, she pursed her lips and nodded before leaving in the direction she had been told. Xuan Lu’s gaze was thoughtful as she watched Murong Fei go.

 

“There’s more to the little lady than meets the eye.” She noted. Xiao Zhan chuckled softly as he poured out a cup of tea for Xuan Lu.

 

“Indeed.” He agreed, “She’s only a physician, but she understands many things about jianghu. I wouldn’t expect anything less of a woman who has survived on her own in this chaotic time.” Xuan Lu had a curious look in her eyes as she studied Xiao Zhan for a long moment.

 

“Is that why you fell in love with her?” She asked, cutting straight to the chase. Xiao Zhan’s grip tightened on the edge of the table, his breath catching in his throat at the question.

 

“Jie.” He began to protest, but Xuan Lu raised a hand to cut him off.

 

“I’m not blind, you know.” She said, her voice slightly teasing, “It’s written all over your face and body language.” Xiao Zhan swallowed hard. Had he really been that obvious? In any event, he knew there really was no hiding anything from Xuan Lu; besides the Master, she knew him best out of everyone at Flowing Snow Pavilion. He sighed softly and took a deep breath before answering.

 

“I owe my life to Fei’er.” He said, “When I was on the brink of death, she was the one who nursed me back to health, even when I attacked her and threatened to kill her. She was nothing but kind to me during recovery, and even afterwards. Murong Fei...she is unlike any woman I’ve seen before. And in front of her, I’ve felt so many emotions I never thought myself capable of feeling.” Xuan Lu gazed at him for another long moment before laughing softly.

 

“She’s a special one.” She stated matter of factly. Xiao Zhan looked at her curiously.

 

“Why do you say that?” He asked. Xuan Lu wasn’t wrong, of course. Murong Fei was indeed special. But the way Xuan Lu stated it made him curious why she was so certain. 

 

“Because” Xuan Lu replied, “Murong Fei has made you smile again.” Xiao Zhan stared at her for a long moment, startled. 

 

“Jie, you’ve seen me smile before.” He replied, confused. Xuan Lu smiled and shook her head.

 

“Not like this, you haven’t.” She replied, “Ah-Zhan, your smiles never reached your eyes before. But in front of this girl, they have.” She reached over and patted him lightly on the hand.

 

“Ah-Zhan.” Xuan Lu said, “You were born with a smiling face. You should use it well.” Xiao Zhan gazed at her for a long moment before scoffing softly.

 

“Jie, in our field, a man’s smiles will get me nowhere.” He stated firmly. Xuan Lu sighed and nodded in agreement.

 

“Still.” She replied, “I haven’t seen this side of you in a long time, and I’m happy to see it resurface. But…” Xuan Lu’s gaze flickered slightly in the direction that Murong Fei had gone before continuing.

 

“Does she know?” She asked, lowering her voice, “About your identity?” Xiao Zhan sighed deeply and shook his head.

 

“I’ve never told her, and she never asked.” He replied, “I’m sure Fei’er has her suspicions, but there’s nothing concrete that she knows.” Xuan Lu blew out her breath and nodded, visibly relieved.

 

“Good.” She said, “Then even if someone else comes across her, it won’t be a problem.” Xiao Zhan raised an eyebrow at the statement.

 

“What do you mean?” He asked. Xuan Lu’s gaze was solemn as her finger turned her tea cup around aimlessly on the table.

 

“Ah-Zhan.” She stated, “Do you intend to stay here with Murong Fei forever?” Xiao Zhan felt his heart begin to hammer in his chest, his hand clenching slightly into a fist on his knee.

 

“Jie…” He protested softly, not sure what to say. Xuan Lu sighed.

 

“I know.” She said quietly, “But Ah-Zhan...in the end, you two are from different worlds. Do you really want to bring her into our chaotic world? Even if you stayed here, what’s to say other assassins won’t find you tomorrow, or the day after?” As much as he wanted to ignore it, Xiao Zhan knew Xuan Lu was right. He wouldn’t be so lucky as to be sitting here sipping tea if anyone else from the organization came across his little haven here with Murong Fei.

 

“Give me some time.” He said quietly, “Just one week. That’ll be enough.” Xuan Lu was silent for a long while, and for a moment Xiao Zhan feared that she would refuse. Then, she sighed and nodded. 

 

“I’ll be waiting at the local inn.” She said, rising from her seat. Xiao Zhan smiled, relieved.

 

“Thank you, jie.” He said softly. Xuan Lu squeezed him gently on the shoulder, her gaze flickering slightly behind them.

 

“Please take care of my little brother.” She said, and Xiao Zhan turned to see Murong Fei standing cautiously in the doorway. For a moment, Xiao Zhan feared that Murong Fei had heard everything, but her expression was calm, giving away nothing that indicated she had heard about the promised one week. She dipped her head slightly in acquiescence to Xuan Lu’s request, not moving from her spot until the female assassin had left in a rush of wind. Then, she rushed to Xiao Zhan’s side, her hands running quickly over his arms and chest.

 

“What happened? What did she say? Did she do anything to you?” Murong Fei demanded, her eyes wide. Xiao Zhan grabbed her hands and gazed down at Murong Fei. Her eyes were wide, her lips parted slightly in concern as her hands trembled ever so slightly in his grasp, the sole sign of the fear that she was surely feeling inside. After a long moment, he pulled her into a huge, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist. 

 

“Ah-Zhan?” Murong Fei asked, sounding confused, “What’s wrong?”

 

“Just let me hold you for a moment.” Xiao Zhan murmured, burying his face into her shoulder. After a few seconds, Murong Fei relaxed and wrapped her arms around his waist.

 

“Gladly.” She replied softly, “For as long as you’d like.”

 

For a long while, the two stood frozen there in the doorway of the little house, Xiao Zhan’s arms tightly holding Murong Fei’s slender body close to him. But no matter how long he held her, one thought wouldn’t leave Xiao Zhan’s mind.

 

What should I do?

 

____________________________________________________________________________

As fate would have it, the answer presented itself to Xiao Zhan before he could think much about it. In the days following Xuan Lu’s sudden visit, Xiao Zhan stayed as close to Murong Fei’s side as possible. Whether she was picking herbs on the hillside or selling medicine in town, he was like a shadow following silently right next to her. If she told him to wait at home, he would shake his head and insist on going with her. Thankfully, Murong Fei never asked for a reason behind his sudden change of behavior, although he could tell through the way she looked at him sometimes that she had guessed that something was wrong. It wouldn’t be long until his secret was out.

 

And then, a few days after Xuan Lu had departed from their little home, Xiao Zhan realized that danger was beginning to come closer than he had ever expected. As he and Murong Fei walked around the market one day, he kept his gaze searching around the marketplace as usual, just in case someone from the organization happened to be nearby. And then, he saw something.

 

A figure, dressed in deep blue robes walking near a set of food stalls further up the street. The figure held a long sword in one hand, a silver tassel dangling from its handle.

 

Just the sight was enough to make Xiao Zhan’s blood run cold.

 

No matter how long he had been away, he would recognize the design on the end of the silver tassel anywhere.

 

Flowing Snow Pavilion.

 

Specifically, the tracker team. Trained specifically to hone their skills in hearing and smelling, these assassins were usually tasked with tracking down targets that attempted to flee. No matter where someone went, they would never escape once these assassins were sent to hunt them down. In short, they were the organization’s hunting dogs. Xiao Zhan wasn’t sure whether to be honored or horrified that the organization had seen it fit to send out these people to look for him.

 

Of course, it could be just a coincidence that they were nearby, but something told him it wasn’t that simple. In any event, it was impossible that the seekers didn’t know by now that he had gone missing while on a mission. If they so much as caught a hint of him being nearby, even he would be unable to escape their pursuit. 

 

“Fei’er.” He said, “Why don’t we go home? It’s going to be late by the time we get back.” When he didn’t get an answer, Xiao Zhan looked down to see that the place Murong Fei had occupied next to him just a moment earlier was now empty, the young healer gone from his side. 

 

“Fei’er?” Xiao Zhan turned quickly in a circle, but was unable to spot his little songbird anywhere in the throngs of people crowding the marketplace. Panic began to rise in Xiao Zhan’s chest. It was nothing like he had ever felt in a long time; he had been trained to be calm no matter what situation he came across, but now, terror arose and pushed away all semblance of rationality in Xiao Zhan’s mind. 

 

If the trackers see her…

 

Xiao Zhan and Murong Fei were together all the time; there was no way the trackers would miss that fact. 

 

A panic induced haze seemed to settle over Xiao Zhan’s mind as he ran through the crowd away from the tracker he had seen, all sound fading to a dull thrum around him. His voice stuck like thick paste in his throat, half out of panic and half out of concern that any other trackers nearby would hear him. 

 

Murong Fei!!!

 

And then, after what felt like a lifetime, something closed around his arm, and a voice broke through the haze that had settled over his vision.

 

“...Zhan! Ah-Zhan! Hey!” Xiao Zhan froze, slowly turning towards the sound. His gaze fell on a lithe figure dressed in peach colored robes, hands closed around his arm, eyes wide with concern.

 

“Are you okay? Where did you go?” Murong Fei asked, her brow furrowed in confusion. Relief washed like a wave over Xiao Zhan, and in one motion he yanked Murong Fei into his arms, eliciting a yelp of surprise from her. 

 

“Zhan, we’re in the middle of the street!” She protested with a futile little shove against his chest, but he didn’t move. 

 

“Who cares.” He muttered, tightening his grip around her. He could feel his entire body shaking, his heart pounding loudly in his chest. It was nothing like he had ever felt before in his entire life. As he had run around the marketplace, he had imagined all the thousands of ways the trackers could have tortured Murong Fei, just to know where he was, to find out what she knew, and whether she could be kept alive. After a few seconds, he felt Murong Fei return the hug, her hand gently patting him on the back.

 

“It’s okay now.” She said soothingly, “It’s okay.” Xiao Zhan swallowed hard, but didn’t respond.

 

Murong Fei...if only you knew.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

After the marketplace incident, Xiao Zhan knew his decision had been made for him. He had dragged things out for as long as he could, but at this point he could no longer ignore the problem at hand. It was time to end things.

 

He had to leave.

 

He didn’t want to leave Murong Fei’s side, not ever. But she belonged out here, where she could freely spend her days doing what she liked. She didn’t belong under the strict rules of Flowing Snow Pavilion, where it’s elaborate buildings hid the dark missions that had provided the money to build its elaborate structure.

 

A day later, he and Murong Fei were sitting outside their house on a cool night, gazing up at the moon. It was a clear cloudless night, the moonlight casting a warm glow on their little haven. Xiao Zhan turned to gaze at Murong Fei for a few seconds before speaking.

 

“Murong Fei.” He said softly. She turned to look at him curiously.

 

“Yes?” She asked, a small inquisitive smile on her lips. Xiao Zhan took a few breaths before speaking.

 

“Let’s get married.” He declared. Murong Fei froze, her eyes widening in surprise.

 

“Ah-Zhan.” She said, “Marriage is not something to joke about.”

 

“Do I look like I am joking?” Xiao Zhan replied seriously. Murong Fei gazed at him for a long moment, a multitude of emotions running through her eyes. Then, she smiled faintly.

 

“When?” She asked. Now it was Xiao Zhan’s turn to be surprised. When he had asked, it had been on a whim, the product of an afternoon of thinking of what he could do to show his love for her before he left forever. He hadn't expected her to agree so quickly though.

 

“Tomorrow.” He replied. Murong Fei frowned.

 

“How am I supposed to have anything ready by tomorrow?” She said, “there’s wedding decorations to buy, a small feast to prepare, invitations to the people we know in town…” Her voice trailed off as Xiao Zhan cupped her cheeks in his hands and pulled her into a gentle kiss. Her cheeks were flushed in the moonlight as he pulled away from their kiss.

 

“I don’t want guests. I only want you.” He said quietly, “Can’t we do that?” Murong Fei gazed at him for another long moment, then leaned in and brushed her lips against his.

 

“Then...please take care of me from now on, Husband.” She said softly, smiling. A shiver ran down Xiao Zhan’s back as he heard the phrase.

 

Husband.

 

Never in his entire life had he dared to imagine he would hear someone call him that one day. And here he was, the one woman he loved letting the word roll off her tongue as naturally as she said his name. Reaching out, he pulled Murong Fei into his arms.

 

“Thank you, Fei’er.” 

 

She laughed softly at his thanks.

 

“What are you thanking me for? Silly.” She replied, “I’m warning you now, don’t even think of looking at other women.” Despite the conflicting emotions in his chest, Xiao Zhan smiled and shook his head.

 

“I would never.” He replied.

 

Dear Heavens, please allow me to be selfish for just a little while longer. All I need is two more days, and then I will return to where I should be.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Just as Xiao Zhan had wanted, his and Murong Fei’s wedding was a simple occasion. There were no guests, no fanfare, no matchmaker to preside over the ceremony. It was only the two of them, in front of their house, performing the three ceremonial bows to complete the ceremony.

 

But for him, that was enough.

 

Although he knew this happiness he felt in his heart wouldn’t last for long, Xiao Zhan resolved to make it last for as long as he could. Even if it was a second more, he wanted to cherish every moment he could spend with Murong Fei as her husband. 

 

For Murong Fei, she performed the wedding ceremony with a heavy heart. Being married to the man she loved was more than she could ever wish for in this lifetime. And yet, she couldn’t push away the feeling that something was wrong, that Xiao Zhan was hiding something behind his tiny smiles and abrupt proposal. He was oddly in a rush, but in the past he had been calm and steady about everything. Just what had Xuan Lu said to him that put him in such a rush?

 

After they completed the ceremony, Xiao Zhan carefully picked up his new bride and carried her into their home. Then, he placed her on the bed and removed the red cloth Murong Fei had put over her head. Murong Fei saw his breath catch as he laid his eyes on her.

 

“Fei’er.” He said softly, “You are so beautiful today.” Despite the heaviness in her heart, Murong Fei laughed softly at the dazed expression on his face.

 

“Am I not beautiful every day?” She replied teasingly. Xiao Zhan blinked in confusion for a moment, startled, before he grinned and kissed her in response.

 

“You are the most beautiful today.” He amended. Murong Fei felt her cheeks flush at the comment, turning away to fan herself for a few moments.

 

“You...you...I can’t believe you can say that so easily with a straight face.” She grumbled. Xiao Zhan turned her face back to look at him, and she saw flickers of unreadable emotions run across his eyes.

 

“Anything, for my wife.” He replied. Murong Fei’s breath caught in as he spoke, the single word making her heart pound in her chest.

 

Wife.

 

It was a simple word, one that she had heard many times, but hearing it from his voice made it sound completely different. 

 

“Say it again.” She said softly.

 

“Say what again?” Xiao Zhan asked, frowning in confusion. Murong Fei smiled and cupped her hand on his cheek.

 

“Wife.” She replied, “Say it again, Husband.” Xiao Zhan gazed at her for a long moment, then smiled and leaned in to kiss her again.

 

“Wife.” He murmured against her lips, “Murong Fei, my wife.” Her heart pounding in her chest, Murong Fei wrapped her arms around Xiao Zhan and returned the kiss. 

 

“Xiao Zhan, I love you.” She murmured, “I’ll always love you.” As they kissed under the moonlight on their first night as a married couple, Murong Fei wished that time would freeze and let them stay like this forever. At that moment, she didn’t know why, but she feared letting go of her new husband, feared that the moment she let go he would disappear from her side.

 

Please, don’t let this happiness end.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

But of course, all good things were bound to come to an end.

 

The day after they were married marked the last day of the week that Xiao Zhan had begged Xuan Lu to give him to think about what to do. It was also the last day that he knew he could spend living a normal life with the woman he had fallen for. It happened to be the day of an annual festival in town, where the rules dictated that all attendees wore masks as they enjoyed the festivities. It was the perfect way to enjoy their final night together while keeping the trackers at bay at the same time. 

 

Thankfully, it seemed like Murong Fei was too excited about the festival to pick up on Xiao Zhan’s thoughts about what would happen once the festival was over. She pulled Xiao Zhan excitedly along the packed streets, stopping to buy snacks and various little trinkets from street vendors. Despite the heaviness in his chest, Xiao Zhan found himself smiling at his wife’s excitement. Every time she smiled, it seemed to light up his entire world, making every second of the risk he was taking worth it. All too soon, the night came to an end, and Xiao Zhan brought Murong Fei to the pond in the large garden near the edge of the marketplace.

 

“Fei’er.” He said softly, “Close your eyes for a moment.” She tilted her head curiously at the statement, but nodded and did as she was told. Xiao Zhan reached into his sleeve and pulled out a delicate hairpin. It was a simple thing, nothing particularly extravagant, but he had immediately thought of Fei’er the moment he saw it on the street. It was decorated with sparkling pink gemstones, and a little bird sat on the top end, its wings spread as if getting ready to take flight. It was perfect for Xiao Zhan’s little songbird.

 

It was also the perfect parting gift.

 

He held out the pin to Murong Fei, forcing a tiny smile onto his face.

 

“For you, my wife.” He said softly. Murong Fei opened her eyes and looked down at his hands, a smile lighting up her face as she saw the hairpin.

 

“It’s beautiful!” She exclaimed in delight, “Ah-Zhan, help me put it on!” Xiao Zhan smiled at her happiness and reached out to carefully tuck the pin into her hair. His fingers lingered on it for a moment before he stepped back and looked at his wife.

 

“Beautiful.” He murmured, “You look so beautiful, Fei’er.” She ducked her head and blushed at the comment.

 

“Only because my husband picked well.” She replied with a grin. Xiao Zhan sighed and gazed at Murong Fei for a long moment, long enough to make her cheeks flush again.

 

“Why are you staring at me?” She asked. Xiao Zhan reached out and cupped a hand around Murong Fei’s cheek.

 

“I want to remember how you look, in this moment forever.” He replied simply. With a slight tug, he pulled Murong Fei into a warm embrace.

 

“Murong Fei.” He murmured softly into her ear, “Thank you.”

 

“Thank you for what?” She asked, wrapping her arms around his waist.

 

“Thank you for saving my life.” Xiao Zhan replied, “Thank you for showering me with so much care and affection, even when you never knew who I am or where I came from. And most of all…” He pulled away and placed his hands on Murong Fei’s cheeks.

 

“Thank you for loving me.” He said before claiming her lips in a sweet kiss. When he pulled away reluctantly, he saw a flicker of sadness run through Murong Fei’s dark eyes.

 

“Ah-Zhan.” She said softly, “Do you have to leave now?” Xiao Zhan froze, startled at her question. As if she could tell from the look on his face, Murong Fei laughed softly and cupped one hand on his cheek.

 

“I could tell from the day that your sister left.” She said, “Something had happened that day that you didn’t want me to know about. After that day, you never left my side. And that day when we lost each other briefly in the marketplace…” Murong Fei smiled despite the tears b in her eyes.

 

“You are a man of jianghu.” She said, “I always knew that you would return there one day. You don’t belong here, hidden away from the world in my little home.” Xiao Zhan sighed and clasped her hand in his.

 

“I belong where you are, Fei’er.” He said, “I only want to stay with you.” 

 

But I can’t, if I want to keep you safe. 

 

Murong Fei smiled, reached up on her tiptoes, and kissed him sweetly. Xiao Zhan’s heart pounded in his chest as he pulled her close, never wanting to let go.

 

“Go on.” Murong Fei murmured softly, a tear escaping and running down her cheek, “Return to the place where you should be, my husband.” Xiao Zhan swallowed hard, then turned Murong Fei around before hugging her tightly from behind.

 

“Murong Fei.” He said softly, “Forget about me. Find a man that will give you happiness and safety for your entire life. Treat my existence as a dream.” He felt silent sobs wrack Murong Fei’s chest as he kissed her on the cheek one last time and said the words he had been too shy to say before.

 

“I love you, Murong Fei.”

____________________________________________________________________________

Murong Fei felt her heart stop for a moment as she heard Xiao Zhan’s confession there, in his arms, under the moonlight. She tried to turn around to look at him, but he tightened his grip and kept her from moving.

 

“Don’t move.” He murmured, “If I see your face...I won’t be able to leave.” 

 

Then don’t.

 

Murong Fei wanted to beg him to stay, but she knew it wasn’t her place to do so. From the day he had returned, every day he had stayed with her had been one day more than she could have hoped for. And so, she reached up and clasped his hands tightly instead, swallowing back tears that bubbled up in her eyes. 

 

“I love you too.” She replied, “Xiao Zhan. I will always love you.” She heard him in his breath slightly at the statement, then his embrace tightened one more time.

 

“Murong Fei, listen to me.” He said, “I am going to let go now. Do not turn around until I count to three, do you understand?” Sensing what was coming, Murong Fei blinked back tears and nodded.

 

“I understand.” She responded. Her chest tightened as Xiao Zhan let go of her, albeit reluctantly, and then he became counting.

 

“One.” His hands grazed her waist slightly as he stepped back from her. Murong Fei clenched her hands tightly into fists and forced herself to keep from turning around.

 

“Two.” Xiao Zhan’s voice faded slightly, signaling that he had moved further back from her. Murong Fei swallowed hard and waited for the final count, but it never came. After a few long moments of waiting, she finally realized what Xiao Zhan had done.

 

He never reached three because he didn’t want her to turn around and watch him leave. 

 

Steeling herself, Murong Fei took a deep breath and turned around slowly, although she could already guess at what she would see. As expected, her eyes were met with the throngs of festival attendees, all wearing different masks and generally having a good time. But no longer how Murong Fei looked, Xiao Zhan was nowhere to be seen. Finally, long held back tears escaped and rushed down Murong Fei’s cheeks, her legs giving out from under her and sending her falling to the cold stone pavement below. Her heart felt like it was being ripped to pieces, heartfelt sobs tearing out of her chest as she sat there alone on the cold stone pavement. This time, Murong Fei knew that Xiao Zhan would no longer miraculously appear in front of her again. This time, he was truly gone forever. 

 

Xiao Zhan, I love you. Thank you for the happiness you have given me.

 

Farewell, my love.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

After Xiao Zhan returned to Flowing Snow Pavilion, he did his best to pretend like nothing had ever happened. As she had promised, Xuan Lu helped him concoct a story to trick the Master, conveniently leaving out any mention of Murong Fei. After a few days of rest, Xiao Zhan was sent on a new mission, and he dove directly back into work. Everything was falling directly back into where they belonged. Things were back to normal.

 

Except it wasn’t. 

 

Try as he might, Xiao Zhan just couldn’t forget about Murong Fei. Her kindness, her cooking, the way she smiled and the way she fit just perfectly into his arms. The love and affection she had showered him with, never questioning once his background or what he had been doing before he had crashed into her life. Everything about her had been engraved into his memory, and Xiao Zhan knew he would never be able to wipe it away completely. At the same time, he knew deep down that he could never return to that little house in the middle of the forest, not if he wanted to keep Fei’er safe. And so, Xiao Zhan swore that Murong Fei would forever be a memory to him, a distant dream of a different life he had lived. That was what she would stay, for the rest of his life. 

 

Until one day, when everything changed once more.

____________________________________________________________________________

Three years later

The day started no different from most of the days in Xiao Zhan’s life. He arose in the early morning and found a mission waiting for him on the table. Sighing softly, he opened the envelope, scanned its contents, and headed off to complete the job he had been given. He didn’t like to sit and wait when he had a mission to do. The job took most of the day, and the sun was beginning to set by the time Xiao Zhan returned, his footsteps lightly tapping on the stone steps leading up to the main hall. Unlike what he usually saw however, the main hall was filled with people, all of them assassins of Flowing Snow Pavilion. Xiao Zhan frowned slightly, his footsteps slowing. What was going on? Was someone getting punished? There weren’t that many reasons why all the assassins would be gathered together in the main hall. Usually, it meant something major had happened. 

 

As he walked up the stairs, he spotted a tiny figure running down them in his direction, and he froze as the little figure skidded to a halt in front of him. Xiao Zhan stared in surprise as he realized that he was staring down at a child, no more than three years old. She was dressed in an elaborate pink dress, her hair tied up with equally pink ribbons. She had large dark brown eyes, and she gazed unblinkingly up at him, completely unafraid of the stranger she had come across. Xiao Zhan pulled down the mask that had been covering the bottom half of his face and leaned down so he was at eye level with the little girl.

 

“Where did you come from?” He asked softly, tucking a loose strand of the child’s hair behind her ear. The little girl turned and pointed at the main hall, which made Xiao Zhan even more confused. Perhaps the Master had a guest? A servant rushed up to him, clearly having come after the little girl.

 

“Little mistress!” She exclaimed, “You must not run so quickly!” Xiao Zhan raised an eyebrow inquisitively at the way the maid addressed the little girl, but before he could ask, the child promptly wrapped her tiny fingers around Xiao Zhan’s hand and tugged on it. He looked down at her in confusion, but the child intently began pulling him towards the main hall, one goal clearly in mind. Although he was becoming more confused by the minute, he followed the child along. It was strange; it was surely the first time he had come across this child, and yet, he felt an utter sense of ease around her. 

 

Who is this child?

 

As Xiao Zhan stepped cautiously into the main hall, he spotted the Master at the front of the room, standing on the slightly raised pavilion that allowed him to survey the entire room at once. His gaze fell on Xiao Zhan as he entered the room. 

 

“Ah-Zhan, you’ve returned.” He greeted, “I’m assuming the mission went smoothly?” Xiao Zhan bowed politely in response.

 

“Master.” He replied, “Rest assured that all matters have been cleanly taken care of.” The older man nodded, seeming to be pleased. With the mask covering his face, it was never really possible to be certain of what the Master was thinking. The little girl pulled free from Xiao Zhan and half ran up the stairs to the pavilion to where Xiao Zhan now noticed a young woman standing there, silently.

 

“Mama!” The little girl exclaimed, tumbling into her arms. Still not speaking, the young woman clasped the little girl’s hand firmly in hers, and returned her gaze to staring blankly forward.

 

“Ah-Zhan, come closer.” The Master ordered, beckoning with one hand. Xiao Zhan was puzzled, but did as he was told. He spotted Xuan Lu near the front of the group, but her eyes gave nothing away. 

 

Who’s that?

 

The young woman next to the Master didn’t seem like an assassin. Nor did she seem like a hostage. Whoever had brought her here had dressed her well. The blue hanfu she had on was of the finest material, the dress flowing like water over her skin. A matching blue silk mask covered the bottom of her face, leaving just a pair of bright ebony eyes visible. Xiao Zhan rarely saw young women like this in Flowing Snow Pavilion. Rather, he never had. Feeling more perplexed than ever, Xiao Zhan looked at the Master quizzically.

 

“Master, this is…?” The older man laughed, seeming to be amused by Xiao Zhan’s confusion.

 

“Ah-Zhan, say your greetings.” He replied, “This is my daughter who I have been searching for. She will be the Young Mistress of Flowing Snow Pavilion from now on.” Xiao Zhan’s eyes widened. He had long heard stories of the Master’s missing daughter, the child of the one woman who had managed to capture his affection. Rumor had it that the girl’s mother was supposedly the daughter of the family the  Master had set out to assassinate, but at the last moment the Master had been captivated by the young lady instead, and had spared her life, but had made her live away from the city for the rest of her days. But one day, the Master had returned to see her, only to find both the girl and her mother were gone, and had begun searching for them ever since. He took one step forward and bowed politely.

 

“Greetings, Young Mistress.” He said, “I am Xiao Zhan. My apologies for being late.” As he spoke, he heard a soft intake of breath, and then, a female voice spoke.

 

“What did you say your name was?” The voice asked. Xiao Zhan looked up and saw the Young Mistress looking at him, her originally disinterested gaze now full of hesitant hope and shock. 

 

“Xiao Zhan.” He repeated, “My name is Xiao Zhan.” To his surprise, tears filled the Young Mistress’s eyes as she gazed at him. 

 

“Ah-Zhan.” She said, “Ah-Zhan, I’ve found you at last.” She reached up and pulled off her mask in one swift motion, and Xiao Zhan felt a jolt of surprise run through him as the Young Mistress revealed her face for the first time. It was a face that Xiao Zhan hadn’t seen for three years, three very long years of yearning and unending suffering that he had forcibly suppressed below an unfeeling mask. As if a dam had been broken, the woman’s name rushed up from the core of his being to his lips, so quickly that he couldn’t stop it. 

 

“Murong Fei!”