A/N: This chapter has a different tone, a little more angsty. 

“Why didn’t you bring her right away? Why would you send her to school like that?” Minjoo started, her usually sweet and calm tone, masked for the latent anger within her. More than angry, she was scarred, she was afraid of what was about to happen and she needed a way to let it out – unfortunately, she was doing it by arguing with her wife who was in an equally bad state right now.

“She wasn’t like that in the morning.” Chaewon returned, trying her best to not raise her voice. They were both stressed, and she could barely focus on anything, dealing with her wife accusing her of being a bad mother was the last thing she needed in the moment – she was already hating herself without Minjoo saying a thing. “Just sleepy and a little warm. She insisted on going because it was the birthday of one of her friends.”

“Yeah sure, because our five-year-old daughter knows better, right?” Minjoo scoffed at her words, crossing her arms in front of herself as she glanced at the woman sitting beside her in the uncomfortable plastic chairs of the hospital. Looking at Chaewon usually brought her peace and warmth, like her safety blanket, but right now seeing her bright chestnut eyes so dark with worry only made her remember their daughter who carried the same eyes – and it hurt a little more every time.

Chaewon clenched her jaw, frustration piling up inside her body as her wife continued to attack. Of course, it wasn’t like she didn’t feel guilty enough already. For the past hours all in her mind was their daughter’s weak body she had carried to the hospital, her little face red due to the fever and the cries she would let out, while calling for her mothers with her voice barely audible. It was her fault Wonjoo was like that. Minjoo didn’t need to hate her, she already hated herself. Her eyes shot the brunette a sharp look. “It’s easy to talk when you’re never there to help taking care of her!”

Her words hit the target perfectly, yet she didn’t take any satisfaction on it. Just like Minjoo didn’t feel any better after saying her own words.

That’s why they fell into a tense, suffocating silence instead of arguing any further.

Chaewon wanted to scream, but all she could do was sigh. She should’ve been more attentive, she should have noticed Wonjoo’s temperature wasn’t normal and make sure to properly measure it instead of just blaming it on the fact that she had just woken up. She should’ve noticed her daughter’s unnatural quietness during breakfast and examined her, but all she did was give Wonjoo extra milk and promise she would bring her favorite plushie when she came to pick her up at school later. She really should, that’s what a good mom would do.

She failed her daughter, she failed her and now Wonjoo was paying the price.

They were in one of the many eerie corridors of the hospital, waiting outside while Wonjoo was being tested to all sort of things due to a pretty high fever.

The school had called her only two hours after she had dropped her daughter off, and Chaewon had left everything behind to go running to her meeting, taking the kid to the nearest hospital while hugging the toddler to her chest and whispering that it would be okay – but would it? She had no idea and suddenly she was afraid it would be the last time she would have seen her daughter.

Deep down, she knew it was probably not so serious, that kids get sick sometimes and Wonjoo would be just fine. Still, she couldn’t help but worry. The doctor didn’t tell her much, only explaining they would need to run some tests first, and her brain was already running wild, thinking about all the worst possibilities.

It didn’t help that the sense of guilt was still so strong inside of her, weighing her down.

Lately things weren’t easy. Work wasn’t going well, she had made a mistake with her investments and now it would take them a while to regain the money, meanwhile she had to struggle with helping some of her old friends composing for a new album. She would stay at home most of the time, having to divide her time between trying to work and watch over their daughter, as well as keeping the house as clean as she could – most of the time she was just too tired and only half of things were done.

So tired that she became less observant, failing to notice Wonjoo’s sickness at first, a mistake she would never commit under other circumstances, but that was equally bad now. Only thinking about it made her eyes burn with tears – from sadness, frustration and a hint of despair. Adults go through many crises during their lives, it’s how it works, yet it didn’t mean she was prepared to deal with the stress of it all, especially when it involved the people that she loved.

People that she loved, like the woman beside her.

Minjoo still kept her arms protectively crossed over her chest, her tough façade crumbling as tears made their way down her face, her lips quivering and she would be sobbing any moment from now. Chaewon’s heart sunk even more inside her chest, her comment hadn’t been fair, it was only meant to hurt her wife in return for her accusations – but since when she wanted to make Minjoo suffer? Since when petty revenge excused her actions? Never.

Minjoo was facing her own struggles at the moment. She had accepted a role in a new drama, even though she would usually avoid this kind of thing due to the merciless schedule and the backlash of the public whenever she had to act opposite their favorite actors – who most of the time were nothing but entitled bastards. But they needed money and she would be paid by episode, a long drama was just perfect to bring in the money and give a breath to their finances. Of course, in exchange of her good pay, she had to work ungodly hours, travelling all over the country and spending more time outside than at home.

She was out this morning as well, ever since the night before, in a shooting that took over twelve hours to be completed. Min had rushed to the hospital as soon as she saw Chaewon’s calls, and now here she was, big dark circles under her eyes making it clear she hadn’t got any sleep in a while. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…It’s my fault, too.” Minjoo was the first to speak again, her voice small and fragile, a hand coming to wipe her tears from her face. “You’re right, I’m never there. I should have been there.”

“You’re not completely wrong, I should’ve been more careful.” Chae conceded, shaking her head slightly. She never really wanted to fight or hurt Minjoo, she didn’t want to make of a moment that was already terrible even worse for the two of them. But that’s how humans are, they get frustrated, anxious, let the fear take over and sometimes they hurt each other – no matter how much love there was in between the two of them, they were no exception to this fatal flaw.. “You are trying your best for us. It’s not your fault.” She emphasized, even if she couldn’t completely forgive herself for her mistake, she wouldn’t pinpoint the blame on Minjoo.

The younger woman nodded slowly, tears still falling from her beautiful dark eyes that were clowned by the pain and worry. Chaewon’s heart once more skipped a long, hurtful beat. She felt useless and small, unable to take care of the people she loved when they needed her the most.

She wanted to reach out for Min’s hand, to touch her and bring her into her arms – but she could feel her own hands shaking, the tip of her fingers numb, the unforgiven feeling of guilty overwhelming her.

How could she comfort Minjoo when she couldn’t even calm herself?

Chaewon’s head hang low, a stubborn tear escaping her eye and wetting the skin of her left hand that was closed into a tight fist – it was hot, almost burning her skin as it slid down to paint black her light blue jeans. Chae just wanted to crawl into a ball and cry, but even her tears hurt now.

“What if it’s meningitis? It is not, right?” Minjoo voiced her concerns, her voice so small that it was almost a whisper – asking, needing for a confirmation, for someone to say it was okay and that Wonjoo would be with them soon.

Chaewon couldn’t provide such words, still Minjoo was willing to hear some kind lies and her wife was ready to give her. “It is not.” The short, strong answer didn’t match the shakiness in her voice, neither it was reflected in her face pale with fear. It was a lie after all, just a baseless hopeful thought. It was what they both wanted to be true.

But what if it wasn’t? What if it was the worst? If.

It was amazing how a simple word could scary them so much, how this could keep their bones cold and heart bleeding, how deep this fear was. Rationalizing wasn’t a possibility when their daughter’s life was on the line, when even the tiniest chance of Wonjoo being in danger was enough to make it hard to breathe.

“It just can’t be.” Chaewon repeated, her voice breaking as she tried her best to not let the feeling of hopelessness take over her. Maybe if she insisted enough times, she could convince not only her wife, but also herself.

Minjoo didn’t reply, she didn’t nod along either. Instead of comfort, the older woman’s words only made her notice how affected her wife was, how she was trying so hard to stay strong for their family and put up a strong façade – it made her feel heavy with a different kind of guilt; it wasn’t just her pain, it was theirs. Wonjoo was their baby, Chaewon would never put her at risk on purpose.

“It’s not your fault. Not at all.” She said, a different kind of tears invading her eyes. She was scared, so freaking scared, but Chaewon was too. Chae also needed her.

A shaky hand reached out for Chaewon’s own, the clumsy grip prompting the chestnut eyes to look at her. Words weren’t needed as they exchanged a long look before Chae brought her to inside her arms, a sob leaving her wife’s mouth as she hugged Minjoo so tightly it was almost painful. A hug that was reciprocated in the same way, in a desperate search for the only comfort they could have now – each other.

The hug, a mess of tears and untold words, a full blown of emotions catalyzed in a single embrace, wasn’t enough to warm their hearts but it was enough to keep them going. For now.

It wasn’t meningitis. But it wasn’t a simple cold either.

Took the doctors another hour before they could give the mothers a proper explanation to what was happening, allowing the young couple to enter the intensive care unit inside the pediatric wing, and see their daughter through a glass window – Wonjoo wasn’t intubated or something like that, from afar she looked like she was just having a nice nap, but there was a digital monitor beside her bed and an IV drop connected to her tiny arm, her face was far paler than normal and she looked very fragile now. The doctor said they would need to keep her under observation for the next few hours just to make sure she wasn’t at risk.

It was a virus, one that was particularly virulent in kids wrecking their immune system and making them prone to secondary infections if not properly treated. Apparently the city was facing a sudden rise in the cases thanks to inconsequent mothers who didn’t vaccinated their children and brought them to a vaccine-free zone where the virus was never found before…It was a medical nightmare and the hospital was in chaos, trying to make sure all infected kids were properly treated and vaccinated as soon as possible.

Turns out Wonjoo was probably infected by on of her classmates days ago and now she was showing what the doctors called ‘some mild symptoms’ but that looked anything but ‘mild’ to her parents. Luckily, the doctor also calmed them down, saying Wonjoo was a healthy child and she was going to recover soon, even if it meant a short stay at the hospital and some days on bed back at home.

They weren’t allowed inside the room Wonjoo shared with other three kids, being informed she could get her own room once she was better. They could only watch from afar as their baby girl fought an invisible battle in her sleep.

For tonight, all they could do was wait and hope for the best. It was heartbreaking, but it also brought them even if only a bit of hope.

They didn’t talk much, going to the other floor to sip some bitter coffee and eat something before they also end up as patients there. The few words exchanged were about their plans for tomorrow, how they would prepare to tend to Wonjoo at home and fix their schedules for it.

Minjoo had to call the director of her drama and even if she walked a few steps away, Chaewon didn’t need to hear it to know her wife was struggling to get some time off to care for their daughter – she didn’t try to stop her, even if Chae would be at home, Minjoo also wanted to be there for Wonjoo and this was a feeling she could understand well.

Chaewon probably wouldn’t be getting any work done for the next days as well, but it was the last of her worries right now.

“Let’s head back.” She suggested once they were done eating the tasteless food from the hospital’s cafeteria – either it was because it was poorly cooked, or because they just couldn’t enjoy the meal.

The younger brunette nodded, not questioning as they made their way to the other floor. Going home wasn’t an alternative at the moment. If they tried going, none of them would be able to get some sleep worried Wonjoo could wake up only surrounded by strangers, or that their child’s condition worsened during the night when they weren’t there for her. The chairs outside the intensive care unit weren’t comfortable, but it was okay as long as they could stay near their daughter.

Chaewon’s shoulder was usually her favorite place, but that night Min didn’t lean on her wife. Instead, she pulled her a little closer, waiting for her to accept the silent offer and rest against her body, Chae’s small face close to her neck as Minjoo hugged her by the shoulders. Min had her chance of crying, of stressing out and even lashing out on her wife – they both did, yet Chaewon never cried, she was still carrying the heavy burden of guilt within her.

Running her left hand through Chae’s brown hair, she tried to bring her the same kind of comfort Chaewon’s hugs always brought her, the warmth that she needed to get rid of the cold of fear and the weight of a fault that was never truly hers. “She is going to be okay. Our baby will be okay.” It was also Minjoo’s turn to try and bring her some comfort, not with white lies this time, but with sincere hope that hopefully would be proven right soon.

The older woman took in a sharp breath, a weak smile on her face as she allowed herself to sink into Min’s warmth. It was hard to stay strong, even harder to put up a façade when she could barely process what was happening – still she had tried her best to do it, and now, she felt it was pointless. It was easy to slip into the comfort of Minjoo’s arms and let her tears finally fall, a silent cry that was long overdue, her hands clinging to her wife’s body and sweet words. “She will. Of course, she will!” But the cracked chuckle that left her lips showed her true worries, her inability to keep to herself all the fear that was still very real. A fear that would be with her until their daughter was once again with them.

Wonjoo would be fine. She had to be.

“You can come in now, she just woke up and was asking for you two.” The next morning, the doctor informed with a kind smile, taking the couple out of their light slumber – it was impossible to sleep more than a couple of minutes in those chairs, but they were exhausted; a feeling that was forgotten as soon as they heard the doctor, the women stirring awake and promptly following the physician inside as the man told them about Wonjoo’s current state.

Apparently Wonjoo was fine, she was still a little tired and all due to the high fever, but the symptomatic treatment was effective and the fever as gone. Therefore, she was stable and well enough to go home as long as her test results were okay and her guardians were ready to continue the treatment at home – needless to say they were, Wonjoo would have the best nurses out there in the form of her two moms.

The doctor led the to a private room in a different area, saying he would be back in a few hours once the blood test results were out and they could be sure the toddler was ready to go home safely. They thanked the man profusely, waving him goodbye as they stopped by the door of Wonjoo’s room.

Taking a deep breath, the mothers exchanged a look, a nervous smile on Chaewon face and happy tears on Minjoo’s eyes – a single nod, and the door was thrown open to reveal their daughter still laying on the bed, hugging a small pillow to her chest as a nurse checked on her.

Wonjoo looked so small and fragile, the color still not fully back to her face, her bright chestnut eyes barely open – still, there was a small smile on her face, one her parents knew all too well. Her smile grew bigger as she noticed the newcomers, her small body stirring in excitement and her eyes gaining a new spark. “Moms!”

“H-Hey there, sweetie.” Chaewon managed to say, swallowing the lump in and just thanking mentally for being able to see her little girl fine again. Relief washed over her, as well as the need to hug and protect Wonjoo forever – she tried her best to not tackle the fragile toddler in a bear hug, approaching her with a small smile and gentle steps, until she reached her to touch her little face, cupping it so she could brush her thumbs against her cheeks in a soft caress. “I’m sorry we are late. Are you feeling better now?”

Wonjoo beamed at her, small hands coming to cup her face as well as the little girl nodded. “Where were you? Doc said you were napping without me!”

“Sorry, honey. Moms were a bit tired.” Minjoo intervened, breaking hospital protocol to sit by the edge of the bed and hug Wonjoo’s small figure with gentle arms, pulling her in to kiss her forehead – the tears on her eyes didn’t fall, instead she had a smile on her face, one full of relief and genuine happiness. The little girl’s smile was even bigger now that she was surrounded by her loving parents. “But now we are here, so good morning, my baby! Doctors wouldn’t let me bring Minguri, but it is waiting at home.” She was referring to Wonjoo’s favorite frog plushie, the one Chaewon forgot to bring when she was called to the school in a rush yesterday.

“Good morning, Mommy. I miss Minguri.” The little girl acknowledge, sneaking a glance at the small pillow the nurse had given her as a way to try and replace the plushie to help her to sleep – she had fallen asleep due to all the medicine, but she still missed the plushie just like she missed having her parents’ good night kisses and good morning hugs. Reaching out to touch her mother’s face, her smile turned into a pout. “Mommy, your eyes are red, mommy Chae too. Are you sad?”

“We…” Chae hesitated, her smile becoming smaller as she reached to caress Wonjoo’s dark hair. Of course, they had cried a lot yesterday and barely got any sleep, Wonjoo was too smart to not notice it. “We were just napping, remember? That’s all, sweetie.” She decided to go with a partial true, Wonjoo was too young to understand their worries and all Chaewon wanted now was to forget about the terrible night they had. “But you didn’t tell me how are you feeling. The doctor said you’re much better now.”

“Pretty nurse said I’m good now, she gave me this too.” Wonjoo proudly showed them the small pillow covered by a thin pillowcase with little cheetahs drawn on it – very appropriated for their baby. The kid let go of the pillow soon enough, dropping it aside to stretch her arm and show her moms the purple-ish spot where the IV drop was inserted last night; it wasn’t much more than a small wound, but as parents, even something small like this was enough to give them a heavy feeling. Minjoo wanted to give it a kiss to heal, while Chaewon was thinking about some ointment – they would do both once they were at home. “They put a needle in my arm, mom! But I didn’t cry!” Wonjoo, unaware to her parents’ heartache, continue to tell her hospital adventure with excitement. “The nurse gave me apple juice and told me I was a big girl!”

The kid looked pretty proud of herself and so were her parents, admiring how brave the toddler was even under circumstances where it would have been totally okay to show her emotions – maybe she was a little bit like Chaewon sometimes. With a smile, Minjoo caressed the kid’s arm, bringing her in for another sweet hug. “Yeah, you definitely are. Moms are really proud of you, honey.”

“We still would be if you had cried. It’s okay to cry when you feel hurt, Wonjoonie.” Chaewon said adding to Min’s words and taking a place beside Wonjoo – the nurse wouldn’t be pleased once she saw them, but it was okay, they would be out of there and free from this nightmare soon enough. “But we are really proud of you, you are a strong girl.”  

Wonjoo was still clinging to Minjoo, looking more like her usual self now, but she rested her head against Chaewon’s side, giving her a pleading smile. “Can I go home now? I miss Minguri and Bearis! Please, mommy!” Of course, their baby girl wouldn’t miss just her favorite plushie, but also the bear-like dog they had adopted a couple of months ago and who was now under Yujin’s care for the week.

Leaning in to place a light kiss on top of her head, Chaewon patted her back gently. “Later, sweetie. When the doctor says it’s okay, we will all go home together.” She was keeping her fingers crossed everything would go as planned, otherwise they would need a bigger room for her, Minjoo and all Wonjoo’s favorite animals. There was no way they would stay away from their baby again. “We will be here with you, so you won’t feel bored.”

Once more a small, slightly disappointed pout appeared on their daughter’s lips, making her look even more like a young Minjoo – the big Minjoo had a similar expression now, upset they couldn’t simply hijack their daughter back to their house. Min had put her job on the line just to make sure she would get enough time off to be with Wonjoo for the next few days and she would make the most of it. “Promise?” The little girl insisted.

“Yes, I promise.” Chaewon reassured “Because we are a family and families stay together.” She repeated the cliché sentence that would never get old, after all it was the purest of truths and if this event taught them anything, it was to cherish their small, yet precious family even more.

It wasn’t always easy, it wasn’t always pretty and simple. It was tiring and took a lot of effort, it took their all and sometimes it still didn’t feel like it was enough. Sometimes it felt like everything could crumble under the pressure of life and they would only be left with a bitter, gray ending. But still, it was worth fighting for. It was worth pushing aside their pride and try to understand the other, it was important to remember all they had been through and all they still wanted to experience together.

It was worth fighting for the love that produced the little angel in their arms now, the same love that was brighter than the darkest of their worst days.

Chaewon kissed Wonjoo’s head once more, a soft “I love you.” Leaving her lips, before she lifted her head to meet eyes with her wife, just so she could repeat to Minjoo the same sentence. “I love you.”

And it was the absolute truth, one that couldn’t be easily erased or replaced, one that couldn’t be changed.

Minjoo hugged their daughter closer, leaning in to kiss Wonjoo’s head first before kissing Chaewon on the lips lightly. “I love you, the two of you.”

Those two days had been crazy, pushing them to their limits and testing their family. But Minjoo just knew it would be okay from now on – even more when the doctor came a couple of hours later just to inform Wonjoo could go home and the family could finally leave the hospital in favor of their much more comfortable and loving home.

A/N: Not exactly domestic fluff, but a more realistic domestic thing – with a happy ending because I couldn’t bring myself to write anything else.

Thanks for reading.

P.S.: Happy (earlier) birthday, Vie!