“Drink up, unnie. But be careful, it’s still a bit hot.” Seulgi handed me a glass of water.

 

“Thanks.. Wait, it’s my house. Why it feels like i’m the guest and you’re the house owner?” I jokingly said.

 

She just snickered as she makes her way to sit beside me on the sofa.

 

“Sorry, hope you don’t mind i roamed around your place.”

 

“Nah, it’s fine. Thank you, Seul.” I sincerely said as i look into her eyes.

 

“Eyyy, i just gave you a glass of water.” She waved her hand dismissively.

 

“Not for that, pabo. Ayeuh~” I playfully shoved her away by shoulder.

“At least not only for that.” I added.

 

“Whoaa, you can be quite violent too i see.” She faked her hurt as she’s clutching on her ‘wounded’ shoulder.

 

“Sure i can. But listen! I thanked you for what you did for me today. Everything. Yes this water included, also for sparing your time to come here to check on me. For cooking for me. For calming me down when i’m scared. It means a lot. Really.” Again for the nth time today, i sincerely thanked her.

 

I thanked her too much, i’m scared my ‘thank you’ will lose its meaning.

 

I need to find another way to convey my gratefulness to her but i’m not sure what to do.

 

But her smile yet again melt my worries away.

 

“Sure thing, unnie. I’m glad that i can help.” She smiled. But her smiled turned upside down when she sees the clock that hanging on the wall.

 

“Oh shoot! Guess i have to go now. Before my mom come here and drag me out by herself.” She cutely shudder at the thought. Guess her mom is kinda scary.

 

“Okay then. Take care on your way, Seul. Text me when you arrive?” I tentatively asked.

 

“Will do, unnie. You too please rest more and get well soon.” She put her hand on my shoulder, gently patting it. “Text me or call me, whichever you prefer if you need something and i’ll come running to you as fast as i can. I promise.”

 

“Why you have to be so sweet and kind, Kang Seulgi? You’re such a charmer. I bet many boys and girls fall for you.” I mustered up my courage by throwing out that comment.

Because i want to know the answer so badly. And it’s only her who can verify that.

 

“Hehehe i don’t want to confirm that with my own mouth..”

 

Damn you, Kang! Why you can’t? You can! I inwardly cursed because my plan is ruined by this bear.

 

“I’ll be going now, unnie. Bye..” She leaned forward to give me a quick hug before she walks toward the front door rather hastily to wear her Converse shoes and then leave my place.

That poor bear.. I just hope she makes her way to her home safely without getting hurt.

 

***

 

I think i fall asleep somewhere in the middle of a movie that i watched.

 

When i woke up, i grabbed my phone to check on the time.

 

I saw two new messages in my KakaoTalk.

 

One is from Suho.

 

And the another one is from Seulgi.

 

I decided to open Seulgi’s first.

 

It was sent an hour ago.

 

 

From : Seulbear

Unnie! I’m with my family now in xxx restaurant to have our family dinner. Hehe

How’s your feeling?

 

To : Seulbear

Hi, Seul.

Sorry for the late reply. I was sleeping and just woke up.

I feel better now. No more dizziness. Just slightly feel tired.

I bet i’ll be okay by tomorrow.

Have fun with your family!

And stay safe! Xo <3

 

And only after i pressed the send button, i realize the grave mistake i just made.

 

Why the hell did i send hug and even kiss emoticon to Seulgi?! With the heart too!

 

Oh Irene.. You’re such a hopeless idiot.

She’ll run away from you now because you freaked her out with your very ‘normal’ behavior toward her.

 

Argghh!

 

Before i call dwell more in my regret, my phone suddenly ringing.

 

I don’t know why but my mind automatically think it’s from Seulgi, so i quickly grab it, just to be left disappointed when i see Suho’s ID that flashing on the screen.

 

Why am i feeling disappointed to get a call from my boyfriend?

 

“Hello?” I greeted.

 

“Baby! Where were you?! You didn’t reply to my messages. I was so worried.”

 

I used to always like this side of him. He’s being super attentive toward me. It shows how much he cares for me. How much he loves me. It made me feel loved.

But at this very moment, i find myself disliking it. I think he’s being too much, overdramatic. It becomes burdensome for me.

Like what am i? A 6 years old kid that can’t take care of myself so he has the right to act like this? He’s making a fuss out of nothing.

 

“Sorry, i was sleeping and just wake up. I’m fine, Suho. You can relax now. Really.” And my voice sounds colder that i intended to.

 

“Oh, i see.” He sounds hurt.

 

Yeah, i’m such a monster because despite knowing i’ve hurt him, i didn’t feel the need to console him. To apologize. I didn’t even feel bad nor guilty toward him right now.

 

I mean Suho supposedly can sense the bad mood i’m in right now without i have to spell it out for him to understand. And i hope he would just drop it instead of questioning my unusual behavior more. He knows that i’m not feeling well. He should understand how this sickness is affecting me.

 

Who am i kidding? I’m no longer in pain. I’m just making excuses right now.

 

In the end i decided to apologize, even though i can’t say i’m being really sincere as i say my sorry.

 

“Look.. Sorry, babe. Sorry for snapping at you. It’s just i’m still not really recovered yet and i think that makes me cranky. Sorry for exploding my anger and frustration to you when you’re being nothing but caring for me.” I speak softer this time.

 

“It’s okay, babe. I understand. I’m sorry too for not being there to take care of you. I wish i can fly back to Korea to see you right now. But you know i still have two more meetings to attend here. I will try my best to go back and se you as soon as possible.”

 

“It’s okay, Suho. I understand. We’re both a working adult. So of course i understand your situation. Don’t feel bad for that. I’ll be okay by tomorrow. Just finish your job there well and come back here safely.”

 

“Yeah, but still.. Just please be okay soon. Call me if you need anything and i will try my best to help, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

***

 

I feel thirsty so i leave my room to take a glass of water.

 

That’s when my eyes spotted something on my table. Something that i know for sure is not belong to me.

 

Seulgi’s baseball hat.

 

Guess she accidentally left it there.

 

That klutz.. I snickered remembering how confused she must be when she realize that she lost her hat.

 

So before she goes into a bigger panic, i decided to call her.

 

“Hello, unnie?” Her melodic voice greeted me after 3 waiting rings.

I can hear some noises, like the murmurs of people chatting, and soft music in the background.

 

“Hi, sorry for distrubing your family time.”

 

“Nah, it’s okay. Is there anything you need, unnie?”

 

“I just want to tell you that you left your baseball hat here in my place.”

 

“OH! Right! No wonder i feel like i’m missing something but i still can’t figure out what. Thanks, unnie. Hehe~” Without actually seeing her, i can perfectly see her silly bear smile now in my head, making me automatically smile too.

 

“When will you take it?”

 

“Uh.. not sure.” Now i can imagine her scracthing her neck as she thinks.

 

“Why don’t you take it today?” I dared her.

 

“Why? You miss me already, unnie? We just see each other few hours ago. You’re so clingy..” I know she’s joking, but i feel nervous still. I’m afraid that she already knows my feeling.

 

“Yah!” I try to hide my shyness with a yell.

 

“Hehe just kidding~~ But unnie, i think it’s impossible to take it today. Because my family dinner will probably ended at a very late hour. I don’t want to bother you when you probably already asleep. How about tomorrow? Since tomorrow is weekend and we both have no work.”

 

“Yeah sure.” I pretend to be nonchalant about it. When in fact i’m grinning so widely right now because i know tomorrow i wil meet her again. I’m glad Seulgi can’t see me right now.

 

“Okay then, see you tomorrow, unnie. Have a good rest tonight.”

 

“See you tomorrow, Seul. You too, take care on your way back later.”

 

“Ne, unnie.”

 

***

 

(The next day)

 

I was waiting for Seulgi because she said she will come to my house around 9 AM and now it’s already 9.30. She’s usually always an on-time person.

 

Did something happen to her?  

 

I decided to call her and thank God she picked up after the second ring.

 

“Hey Seul. Where are you? Are you okay?” I can’t hide the nervouseness and worry in my voice.

 

“Ah, unnie.. I’m sorry but i kinda have a situation here. I’m sorry i didn’t call you earlier to let you know.” She sounded somewhat weak and tired. The uneasiness feeling in my chest gnaw me even more.

 

“It’s okay, Seul. But is everything okay? Please tell me where are you.”

 

“Hm.. yeah. I’m in a hospital right now.”

 

“YOU WHAT?!”

 

“Hey hey relax, unnie. I’m okay. It’s just when i was on my way to your place, the taxi i rode get slightly collided with a motorbike. Me and the taxi driver just got a minor injury. But the motorbiker is in a worse state. And so now i’m waiting in the hospital until his family come. I just don’t think  it’s right to just leave.”

 

“Tell me the hospital name.”

 

Never in my life i drive a car this recklessly, and this insanely fast.

 

I restrained myself from overpassing the red light, but when it finally turns green, i will step deeply on my gas pedal and speed up as fast as i could.

 

I know Seulgi said she just got a minor injury, but i can’t rest assured until i check and see it with my very own eyes.

 

It supposed to takes around 35 minutes drive, but i made it to the hospital in less than 20 minutes. To think about it, that’s kind of a miracle i could make it without getting into an accident.

 

I run inside the hospital search for Seulgi like mad.

 

And i finally saw her. Sitting on one of the chair in front of ICU.

 

“Seulgi!” I rushed toward her.

 

Probably she heard my heavy steps that approaching her, she lifted up her head and see me.

 

“Unnie..” She stands up and in the right time catching me because i just litrally jumped on her, forgetting for a moment there that i might hurt the injured bear even more in the process with the sudden force.

 

I hugged her tight as i buried my face on her shoulder. I don’t know why but my body start to tremble.

 

“Hey hey.. sshhh. It’s okay, unnie. Don’t cry. I’m okay.” She softly whispered in my ear as she patted my back to calm me down.

 

I only tightened my hold on her. She really did scare me today. I was so afraid.

 

But then i remember something. I need to check on her.

 

I unwrapped myself from her and hold her shoulder instead as i examine her.

 

There’s a bluish-purplish bruise on her forehead and on her arm. And a small cut with dry blood on the corner of her lips.

 

Seeing that, the tears that i hardly managed to stop earlier finally fall down again uncontrollably.

 

She just softly smile at me. How can she still smile when she’s hurt like this?

 

“Are you sure you’re older than me, unnie?” She lightly chuckled.

She then raised her hands and use her thumbs to gently wipe away my tears.

 

“Stop crying already. I’m not dead, aren’t i?” She pulled me in and hug me again. It feels really nice.

 

“Don’t you dare to d-die, Kang Seulgi.” I hardly said in the middle of my hiccups.

 

“Hm. I won’t, unnie. Not when i just find more reason to look forward to in life.” She said in a whisperlike voice. But since currently we’re attached to each other with no gap in between our bodies, of course i can still hear her perfectly.

 

I want to ask more. Like what she meant by that? But i found myself too weak to speak. So i just snuggled deeper into her.

 

We embraced each other in silence for awhile just like that. And when we finally break the hug, i didn’t completely let her go. I hold her hand as we sit next to each other on the hospital bench.

 

“Seul.. Have you get yourself checked?”

 

“Yes i have. The doctor said i just got some minor injuries that will take a few weeks at most to completely healed. He gave me some medicines and ointment too. So no worries.” She smiled reassuringly.

 

“Good to know. I will help you to put the oinment later.” It sounds more like a command rather than a suggestion i know. And i guess Seulgi knows that too. And she doesn’t mind.

 

“Thanks, unnie.” She smiled and lightly squeezed my hand.

 

That’s when i finally realize how cold her hands are.

 

“Your hands, why are they so cold?” I immediately wrapped both of my hands around her hands and bring them closer to my mouth so i can warm them up with my breath.

 

I can feel her eyes on me. So i look up.

 

I can’t help but to shudder when i meet those onyx eyes.

Her gaze is so strong yet soft. Intense yet gentle.

 

She looks at me with an unreadable eyes that i’ve never seen she has before.

The feeling to be look at like that is too much for me. Too overwhelming.

 I start to feel hot.

 

And if i didn’t know any better, i would dare to translate that look as the look of longing.. The look of love. As if she wants to just lean in and kiss me on the lips right here right now.

 

Why you’re looking at me like this, Seul? Please don’t make me misunderstand things. Don’t give me false hope, please.

 

“Y-yeah, Seul?” I unsurely asked.

 

“Nothing.” She said but doesn’t stop looking at me.

 

So i decided to be the one who run away from this eyes staring contest first.

“Okay.” I said and look away.

 

After feeling her hands finally all warm, i let them go rather reluctantly.

But what surprised me, she grabbed my hands again as soon as i let go.

 

“Unnie..” She softly called out.

 

“Y-yes?”

 

“Can you please be not too nice to me?”

 

“Eh? Why?” Her request really caught me off guard.

 

“Because.. you make my heart fluttered everytime you did it.”

 

“Huh? And is that a bad thing?” Is it wrong to feel all warm and touched when someone did something nice to us? I wonder.

 

“Yeah.. I think.”

 

Ouch. That kinda hurts.

“Why? Is it because i’m a woman?” It hurts to imagine she feels all uncomfortable with me just because i’m a woman like her, and i showered her with love and care. But again, i can’t blame her. Not everyone can accept a person like me.

 

“No. It’s because.. you’re my friend’s girlfriend.”

 

Oh. Right, Suho. I really forgot about him until Seulgi mentioned his name now.

 

Before i can give her my reponse, she speaks again, with a barely audible voice that somehow pricks my heart.

 

“And i’m really scared, unnie.” She hung her head low, so i can't see the expression on her face.

 

“Scared of what, Seul? I immediately scooted closer toward her, trying to console her. But when i did, she scooted away from me almost immediately and let go of my hands.

Again, that hurts. Why she did this to me?

 

She takes a deep breath. As if readying herself. Before she lifted her head to look at me in the eyes with her glassy eyes.

 

“Scared i will feel something that i should not feel. No, i think it’s too late.  I think i already did.” And a lone tear fall down from her eye.
 

And mine.