Please read every words 🙂

 

 

Chaewon pulled the door handle, but before she went out she turned to ask Minjoo.

"Do you want this?" Chaewon asked with the red eyes.

Minjoo stares at her blankly.

"Do you really want this?"

Minjoo stayed silent and just keep staring.

 

But the silence is more than enough.

 

"Goodbye Kim Minjoo" she pulled the door and walked out.

Wiping her tears that are now flowing nonstop.

Minjoo stayed there. Not moving an inch.

Upon entering her aprtment complex, Chaewon ran to the stairs. She cried at the interval.

The heart broken too much.

 

Minjoo inhaled deep. Hardly inhaling each of her breath.

She drove back trying to stop her tears so hard.

But she had to pull over as she can't stop crying.

 

Both are broken.

 

“You said that it would last, but how come it’s the last time?”   

 

 

**********

 

 

‘I should’ve hug you tighter the last time I saw you

I should’ve kiss you longer the last time I saw you

Should I know it would be the last of us

 

 

I’d be calling your name at this hour,

Wanting to run to you.

But I don’t know where you are in this world.

Ping me.

Resonate me.

Show me you can still hear me.

 

But I think you would forget me.

I’m just another face, another name in your memory.

So be happy and be free.

I’m letting you away.

 

Thank You for everything.

 

 

I will leave my heart here at your door.

Just in case you might want it back.

Just come to me.

 

If our force correlate,

In here,

You will find me’

 

 

 

Chaewon wiped her tears. Have she loves too much she got broken so hard when everything ended?

Is this how a heart breaks?

 

 

As Chaewon drive to her home, she the music. Tuned it at 11. No make it 12.

Guess she got used to it that it now becomes sentimental.

Now there’s no one she can annoy anymore.

Minjoo have OCD. She hates it when it’s not even number.

 

 

On other side. Minjoo turned up the volume.

At 12 she felt ‘No too loud’ .

She tuned it 11. Despite she hates the odd number but it reminds her of someone who she let away.

 

Guess it’s hard to move on when you’re already used to something.

 

You change yourself to fit the person you love.

To compliment each other,

To be the best companion the perfect partner

And when they’re gone, you lose yourself.

 

 

**********

 

The Beginning of The End

 

 

“I’m here” she texted Chaewon.

Minjoo fetch her up for their regular dinner date.

 

Chaewon was fixing her make up when the text ‘arrived’

‘OTW’ she replied. Smiling, she run down the stairs.

Opening the door to Minjoo smiling outside her car.

“You look beautiful” she said, smiling sweetly to Chaewon.

“You too Minmin” Chaewon walks into her embrace. Minjoo gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Let’s go” Minjoo opened the door for her.

 

‘Weird’ was what in Chaewon’s heart.

Minjoo would kiss her lips not her cheek.

Minjoo knows Chaewon suspected something.

But both kept quiet.

Just to not ruin the atmosphere.

 

Deep in Minjoo’s heart..

‘I want to kiss you like we used to,

But it can’t soothe my heart like it once did’

 

The drive to their destination was a quiet one.

‘Weird’ again crossed Chaewon’s mind.

There’s no ‘How was your week? Did someone mess up with you?’ Or such.

Minjoo just keep her smile.

‘Is that a sincere smile or forced smile?’

 

Chaewon is not oblivious.

As pure as she might look like, she's not stupid to see.

Lately it have been a bit dull.

No excitement or late night calls.

Have it been her fault for being too busy or was she not tempting like before?

 

They went on a date near Hangang river.

Eating some seafoods and such.

Just enjoying simple street foods.

Smudging her white shirt with Minjoo’s tteobokki sauce.

 

Minjoo is such a clumsy kid.

Chaewon really need to take extra care on her.

But really, she’s happy doing so.

Minjoo is her love and nothing she does will hurt Chaewon.

Or so she thinks...

 

The date went short and Minjoo sent her back home.

Again, they just kissed on the cheek.

Chaewon tried to kiss Minjoo’s lips.

But it only lasted few seconds.

 

 

(Well Chaewon,

 You thought nothing Minjoo does will hurt you don’t you?

 But you hurting now, aren't  you?)

 

Chaewon watched as Minjoo’s car disappeared into the horizon.

‘Did she have someone else?’

The heart hurts, but it never supposed to be.

Tears almost fall but she kept it.

‘. This hurts’

To be ignored it felt like being unappreciated. 

 

‘It’s okay she might just have a bad day’

‘But isn’t it cruel to let her mood affect our precious date?’

‘But it’s okay. Another bad day’

 

(Trying to be positive aren't you?)

 

 

**********

 

 

Weeks passed with them only have chat for few short moments.

Guess life caught them best.

Their love story from school was not as fun as this.

 

When you were 17,

Life is all about growing up and graduating.

Go to Ivy League university or any college that you eligible of.

Get good education and such.

All the while still be in love with your high school sweetheart.

There, life is simple isn't it?

 

But no.

 

Life don’t go that easy.

One moment you are cozily sleeping,

The next moment you are in a cramped up train going for work that give you low pay wage but still you got to hold on to it.

Because you got to survive.

There are bills, rents, foods and accommodations to pay for.

There are many responsibilities on your bare shoulder.

Might need bigger shoulder to help you carry the weight of the world. 

 

Life when you were 20 was all about having fun and skipping classes.

Because your lecturer don’t give AF if you absent.

Only will do if you are the peculiar or smart one.

Chaewon had the time of her life being in same university with Minjoo.

 

Their summer breaks were spent on holidays to Japan and nearby islands.

Feeling the heat of summer burning on their fiery love.

Enjoying the strolls and  exploring street foods together.

 

They come as package.

Where there is Chaewon, there is Minjoo.

 

“A Kim for A Kim” was what Eunbi used to say.

 

The memories of their youth are filled with each other.

Too much that they can barely remember any memories they have with their other friends.

On holidays or casual occasion,

Took pictures of sceneries and each other.

Stealing kisses every moment they can.

 

 

Life is good.

When it was.

Love is great.

When it was.

 

 

They couldn’t spend a day without seeing each other.

They even shared the same apartment.

No one really wonders about them as they are both girls.

Some did get suspicious of them being lovey dovey but to hell with their assumptions.

Their life is not public’s decision.

 

Minjoo have her own room but at times she prefers to be in Chaewon’s.

(They are adult)

The sofa was their favourite place to make out and such.

(Again They are Adult. And lovers)

 

Life is indeed good.

When it was.

 

 

Everything slowly changes after they graduated.

They thought life would moves swiftly as they once imagined when they were sixteen.

 

 

Minjoo got work offer on the other side of the state. Making it harder for them to meet.

She used to commute for work but she had enough of waking up too early and go home too late.

At one time it was too tiring.

 

And hence, she knew she had to move out.

 

 

So they decided to separate.

(I mean living separately)

Minjoo at the west, Chaewon at east.

 

 

Separated by miles,

But their love life always bring smiles.

Their love was bounded by video calls and weekly date.

It was hard at first. Then they got used to it.

Love felt much easier.

 

Life is really good.

When it was.

 

 

But it goes back to being hard as Minjoo’s works as Graphic Designer makes her occupied with works.

Both of them did.

 

Someone told them, distance is nothing when you really love someone.

 

 

But,

Not everyone can survive being apart.

 

 

 

At night when Chaewon felt so lonely she feels like running to Minjoo.

But knowing her partner is stuck with work,

She will only be a bother rather than reliever.

 

At night when Minjoo felt so lonely she wanted to come home to Chaewon,

But girl got to go outstation.

Life as a personal assistant to her cousin, Kim Taeyeon is so hasty.

Well, Taeyeon is a busy person.

 

Seems like Chaewon can assist Taeyeon but she can’t assist her personal life.

 

 

It gets so hard to breathe,

When one day Minjoo almost called it off.

She got stressed at works and Chaewon kept asking her to go out.

“Hello, what are you doing?” Chaewon starts the call excitedly.

“Ah I’m at the office finishing the designs” Minjoo answered in quick pace. Hand sketching something on her Wacom tablet. Eyes fixed on the monitor.

"I thought you already submitted it?"

"Well the client don't like it and I have to change it before tomorrow afternoon"  'Fk them client'

“Urm would you like to take a break and grab coffee now?”

“No I don’t have time for that” Minjoo sighed.

 

“I can come to your place. You don’t need to drive here”

“But it’s dangerous. You’re not used to this place and I still have lots of work to do”

“Don’t worry I’ll be okay. And I won’t disturb you. You can just do your work. I just want to see you. That’s all” Chaewon convinced again.

 

“Chaewon, what actually happened that you suddenly want to come here? It should always be me going to you”

“Nothing. i just want to see your face”

“Really? We can just FaceTime later on”

“But I wanted to see your face. We can get a cup of coffee or a drink. I don’t care so come out for a bit”

 

Minjoo put down the pen, let out another deep slow sigh, leaning her back on her chair.

‘She don’t understand doesn't she?’

 

“Chaewon. How many times should I tell you I don’t have the time. I want to meet you but I am too busy now. Why is it so hard for you to understand?” Minjoo’s tone got louder.

Chaewon knew it that she should step aside and let the girl deal with her works.

 

“O..okay, okay.. I’m sorry to disturb you. You can continue our works. I will call you this weekend”

“Yeah thank you. No I should be sorry. I need to go now”

“Okay.. i love you Minmin” cutely Chaewon said. Hoping for a cute reply.

“Yeah yeah me too. Goodbye” Minjoo slammed the phone off without hesitation.

‘She probably too busy and stressed’ Chaewon gulped.

 

That time, Minjoo felt like Chaewon couldn't understand her.

But she didn't realise she got stuck in her own thoughts. 

Chaewon on the other side trying to help, but she offers the wrong hand it got messed up instead.

(It's simple misunderstanding like this that would be deadly)

 

Chaewon put down the phone.

Laying back on the sofa.

They used to and laze around together on that sofa.

Now it’s hard to even get Minjoo inside her house.

Or should we say, their-once-shared-apartment.

Minjoo is always chasing something or having some new projects to finish.

And Chaewon also got occupied being the assistant to the famous businesswoman Kim Taeyeon.

 

 

Chaewon stared at the empty table.

Suddenly she remembered, she bought something in advance. Of thinking to surprise Minjoo. But it didn’t worked out.

Chaewon poured and gulped down the soju. Minjoo didn’t get to join this, soju goes to waste.

‘Maybe you can accompany me tonight’ Chaewon ‘talked’ to the bottles.

 

Chaewon the tv.

Nothing interesting.

She took her phone. No notifications.

‘Pfftt even my phone mocks me huh?’

She clicked on Netflix app.

 

Eyes on-screen but her mind lost in another dimension.

 

Chaewon sighed as she keeps on watching.

“Netflix and chill my . Pfftt” she chuckles before continue chugging the soju by the bottle now.

"Aaa Kim Minjoo why are you not here?"

“I miss you”

 

 

**********

 

 

On the hindsight,

Minjoo knew she should never push Chaewon away.

But again, she did nothing wrong.

Well of course she does.

But she have to put affront her work too.

It can’t be avoided that being a designer requires her to be fully immersed in her works and what more she have to always be on time.

Being a designer, you have to deal with people.

Dealing with a stranger is already a pain in the what more several clients.

Sometimes she hopes that Chaewon could understand her more.

Yes Chaewon does.

But she hope that the girl doesn’t think of anything ridiculous.

Minjoo is just to busy with her works.

 

But she never miss their regular weekly date.

That’s good right?

Or at least for Minjoo it does.

 

You can’t expect people to always be with you.

Especially when they’re far away from you.

When Minjoo told Chaewon I Love You,

That’s all true.

Chaewon should never doubted her.

 

Minjoo was really hoping Chaewon could understand her.

But she still don’t have time to talk to her girl.

‘Ah it’s okay I’ll call her later’

From which later turns to never.

 

If one thing Minjoo do good,

Is designing

One thing she isn’t good,

Is understanding.

 

 

Minjoo called Chaewon the next evening. But it goes to voice mail as Chaewon actually on the plane going outstation with her boss.

She saw the notification but had to ignore it as she's busy.

 

 

**********

 

 

It’s Minjoo’s birthday.

Chaewon prepared the dinner from early morning.