We lock eyes for a split second before Lisa pulls out of the hug and asks her how she's been. I feel Jisoo next to me peeking glances to make sure I'm not about to have a meltdown. And I'm not, because I'm totally cool with seeing the love of my life standing in front of me after over a year of not seeing each other. I'm perfectly happy not being able to utter a single word because I don't even know who she is anymore. Yeah, everything is good.

Okay, no it's not. My nerves that were lost on the dance floor kick back in again and I can feel my hands trembling. I'm not having a meltdown, but that's what it sort of feels like on the inside. My heart is pounding and my mind is racing, instantly telling me to flee. But I don't, because that's not what mature adults do. But maybe I don't have to be a mature adult at this moment. Maybe the best thing for me to do would be to run and hide in the bathroom for a little while.

Lisa continues to talk to Rosie about a few things before she finally turns around and pulls her in to say hi to all of us. I know Lisa is doing this so she isn't rude to Rosie, but I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest. I haven't spoken a word to the girl in over a year. What am I even supposed to say to her?

“Hey, Chaengie," Jisoo is the first to shout over the music. "It's good to see you," she says with a smile on her face, “we've missed you. You've been so busy running around the globe I can barely keep up," she laughs.

“Yeah, it's busy, but it's good unnie," Rosie smiles. "But not too busy that I've been kept in the dark about your new role. Congrats, by the way. It sounds like it's doing really well."

“It is, thank you," Jisoo responds politely.

And then all eyes are on me.

"H- hi Jennie, it's good to see you again," Rosie puts on one of her half smiles, but I know what it means. After all the time I've spent with her, I know every little detail about her. She's nervous.

“It's good to see you, too," I put on my fake smile as well, even though I feel like I'm about to puke.

She just nods and turns back to Lisa, seemingly excusing herself, because within seconds she's lost in the crowd of people.

“Okay, well at least we didn't have World War III," Lisa tries to joke, but I just glare at her. "No? Okay, so anyway, back to dancing then!" And with that, the youngest girl is back to bouncing around the dance floor.

I feel Jisoo finally let go of my hand and I look over to her with a silent "thank you" in my eyes and she nods in understanding.

It takes us all a few minutes to recover, me more than the others, but we finally do and we're back to having a good time on the dance floor. But my eyes can't help but wander the area, constantly scanning for Rosie. Whether it's to flee when I see her or try to catch her eye again, my mind has yet to decide.

We dance for a little while longer, but head back to the bar when Lisa swears she needs a couple more shots. When we reach the bar, she orders six shots and  water for me, using her big hand to ruffle my hair and scrunch her nose at me before leaning in.

"I really am damn proud of you, girl. I didn't know you had it in you, but you've always been the strong one," she says before pulling away and wrapping her arm around my shoulder like she loves to do.

When the drinks arrive, I grab my water and take a sip through the straw as I watch the other girls down their shots.

We continue to stand there as the girls order another round of drinks. While we wait, Lisa wanders down the bar to talk to everyone that showed up just for her.

Just down a bit, she finds some of our old colleagues that worked with us on our last tour, including the band that played with us on our “In your area” tour. In the middle of that group of girls is Rosé, all smiles and telling jokes like she's having the time of her life. She looks over just as I catch myself staring, and we both look away quickly. I can't help myself but look back, and her smile seems to falter a bit as she lets one of the girls continue talking before she jumps back in and says something that makes the other girls laugh once again.

Rosie always did like to make everyone laugh. Even though a lot of the time it was just me laughing at her stupid jokes.

I hear Lisa claim that we should all go grab a table upstairs and invites everyone around her to come with. And unfortunately, that includes Rosie.

I take the lead up the stairs with Jisoo and everyone else follows in our wake, slipping through crowds of people until we find two large couches that we can all fit onto if we split up.

As I sit at the first sofa, I stare at my water in front of me on the table as if it's the most interesting thing in the world, but really I'm trying to watch out of my peripherals for Rosie. When I see her towards the end of the group, passing this sofa and going to the next, I breathe a sigh of relief.

My table is filled with my two girls, a few of our old managers, a couple of our make-up artists that we became close with over the years, and a handful of people that Lisa introduced as part of