"Come on, it's gonna be fun. It's not what you understand as a party. I would be really happy if you came." 

Jongup sighed. "Fine. But only because its you, Jae. Where is it?" 

"It's at my friend's place, I'll text you the address." 

"Mh... Why isn't it at our place tho? It's your birthday after all..." 

"Because we can't have loud music and twenty people at our small apartment, while Junhong lives in a house with a big garden. Now stop being so grumpy! You can't stay at home with your Anime and games your whole life, you need a bit of fun with other people. See you here at eight or I will come home and get you." 

Youngjae hung up and Jongup also put down his phone. Great. So he would go to a party tonight with only one person there he knew. Why did Youngjae always manage to convince him of leaving the house? 

 

Two hours later, he arrived at the address Youngjae had texted him. His cousin was already waiting at the gate that lead to the garden of the house. It was a cold night and the darkness had already taken over, but there was a campfire in the garden. Jongup could see quite a few people sitting around it, the music could clearly be heard. 

"Never knew you were into punk rock" he said as they made their way through the garden towards the others. 

Youngjae shrugged. "This song was Junhong's choice. I don't have a problem with it though." 

"Yeah me neither, I just never really listened to punk rock." 

"Then tonight will be a whole new experience for you." 

They had reached the campfire and Youngjae told him to sit down next to a young, tall guy with pink hair. He wore a leather jacket with patches, pins and chains and had black painted nails. 

"Hi, I'm Junhong, but call me Zelo if you want. You must be Jae's cousin?" the tall guy grinned and handed him a beer. 

"Yes, I am. My name is Jongup, nice to meet you." 

A few hours later, the two were still sitting next to each other, just a little more drunk than before. Jongup had never been into alcohol that much, and it seemed to him that Junhong had quite a high tolerance, since the boy drank non-stop and still seemed to be in the right state of mind. 

They had been talking most of the time, but now there was a moment of silence, as Jongup was just staring at the dancing flames of the fire and Junhong was on his phone for what felt like the millionth time tonight. Then, a new song started playing. It had quite a fast beat and immediately, Junhong and a few other guys got up. 

Jongup watched them jump around to the music, screaming the lyrics, when Youngjae sat down next to him. 

"So" the older began, "Seems like you and Junhong are getting along pretty well, hm?" 

"Yeah, he's nice." 

Youngjae chuckled. "Dude, he's such a fun guy. And he must like you, usually he dances to at least half of the songs that were played." 

Jongup tried to hide the smile that appeared on his face after these words. He would not want to admit it, but he liked Junhong. The boy was not as close-minded as other people he met, he was super open and fun and he did not give a what others thought was good or bad, that much Jongup could tell although knowing him only a few hours. It was no lie, that Junhong fascinated him. 

Luckily, before Youngjae could make him talk more, the song ended and Junhong came back, sitting back down at Jongup's other side. He was breathing heavily and took off his jacket. "Ah, I can't resist this song." he grinned. "Jonguppie, you look cold. Take my jacket." 

Before the boy could answer, Junhong had already wrapped the jacket around his shoulders. 

"Uh... Thank you" Jongup stuttered, a bit surprised. He slipped his arms through the sleeves and wrapped the fabric closer around himself. The jacket smelled like beer, smoke and something he could not quite define, but he liked it. The cozy warmth made him a bit sleepy and he was glad that Youngjae started talking. 

"By the way Jongup, if you have any music requests, let me hear." 

"Oh, no I don't have any. I like the music right now." 

Junhong raised his head. "It's good right? This song is by my most favourite band. I own all of their albums and I've even seen them in concert last year." 

"They sound really good... I've never been into this type of music, but I think I'll listen to this band more from now on." 

Junhong grinned happily. "Cool! Hey, if you want I can show you my albums and some songs you might like." 

"Sure." 

"Great!" Junhong got up. "Come, let's go to my room. It's starting to rain anyways." 

"Have fun" Jongup heard Youngjae laugh, as they left the fireplace and shot him a glare. 

They entered the house and went to Junhong's room, where they sat down on the bed. The room was nicely warm and Jongup took off the jacket and his sweater, so he was left in the black tank top he wore. For a moment, he felt like Junhong was checking out his arms, but he must have been wrong because a moment later, the boy started talking about the band again. 

After a while, Junhong had just put on a CD, his phone buzzed and the boy groaned. He took the device and opened a chat with someone named "er". 

"Dude, I told you ten thousand times to leave me alone! Stay the out of my life! Stop texting when its not about school!" he said into the phone's mic before sending the voice message. Then, he turned his phone off and closed his eyes, sighing. "Sorry Jongup." 

"It's fine tho... who was that?" 

The pink-haired boy opened his eyes and shook his head. "My ex. He doesn't understand I don't want s like him in my life, but I can't block him because we're in the same class and my teacher keeps putting us together for projects." 

"Sounds super annoying... What did he do that you call him an now?" 

"He manipulated me and tried to change me into his little obedient boy who doesn't think for himself. But no, I'm nobody's dog. So I broke up. I hate when people think that, just because they're older, they have the right to tell you what to think and do. I might be young, but I'm not stupid." 

"Wow, what the hell? And why is he still contacting you?" 

"He keeps trying to change me, he thinks if he's just manipulating me enough, with telling me I will never find someone new and stay alone forever when I don't come back to him, I will eventually give in. But nope, no chance. I'd rather stay alone forever than going back to this guy." 

"He seems so stupid. Such people really annoy me, it's good you broke up with him. But how old are you that you say you're young?" 

"I'm seventeen, when we were together I was still sixteen. What about you?" 

"I'm eighteen. Only a year older than you, so you're not that young to me." 

Junhong chuckled. "Sweet. Okay, so let me show you my favourite song now. That's what I originally wanted to do." 

He put on a song from the CD. It wasn't fast, more like a ballad, what surprised Jongup. 

"What do you think?" Junhong asked, he clearly was a bit calmer now, smiling softly. 

"I like it" Jongup said, "It's really good..." 

"I can send you the song if you want." Junhong said while putting the rest of the albums back onto their shelf. Then, he lied down on his back. 

"That would be nice, thanks." Jongup lied down next to him and they remained silent until the song ended and the music from outside could be heard through the walls. 

Suddenly, the noise of thunder shot through the air, followed by a flash of lightning and another roll of loud thunder. Jongup jumped from the shock and they both started laughing. 

"Aww, don't be scared Jonguppie~" Junhong laughed and hugged him tightly, ruffling his hair, before looking him in the eyes. "I'll protect you." 

Jongup could not explain what was happening when he looked into the dark eyes of the boy. All he knew was that they were suddenly kissing. 

Junhong's warm hand moved underneath his tank top, holding him close and Jongup could not help but think how much he liked this. It felt like there were only the two of them, nothing else existed but the boy's lips on his and the soft touches on his skin. 

Jongup was pulled back into reality when the other party guests entered the house. They made so much noise, it sounded like a hundred people. He broke the kiss at the thought of Youngjae catching him here, kissing Junhong. 

However, the latter didn't seem to worry. "What's wrong? Don't mind them, they have probably already forgotten we're here." 

Jongup just nodded. He was still speechless at this whole situation, all he knew was he wanted more of this, so he leaned in to connect their lips again. 

... 

It was at ten the next morning, when Jongup woke up from the church bells on the other end of the street. He blinked a few times and looked around. Junhong was still lying next to him. The younger lied on his stomach, face nuzzled in the pillow, breathing calmly. The blanket only covered him up to his hips, so his was free for Jongup to look at. 

There were a few long, red scratches on the boy's pale skin and Jongup felt his face heat up at the thought he had caused them. Last night had really been a new experience - a good one though, he had enjoyed it more than he thought he would, and the proof was on Junhong's back. 

Eventually, he got up from the bed to go to the bathroom. As he moved the blanket, he noticed Junhong was still fully and quickly covered the younger again, before he got into his pants and sweater and left the room. On his way through the hall, he passed the living room, where most of the other party guests were sleeping on the couch, carpet or blankets on the floor. He discovered his cousin lying in front of the sofa, still sound asleep. 

After using the bathroom, he went to the kitchen, because he had heard a voice from the room. In the kitchen he found two of the others - Himchan and Daehyun, also one of Youngjae's best friends. From Junhong he knew Daehyun also lived here. They were step brothers. On the floor in the corner lied another person, sleeping. Himchan and Daehyun did not seem to care that someone was still asleep, they were talking in a rather loud volume. 

"Morning Jongup" Daehyun grinned. He was in the process of rolling a joint. "How did you sleep? Did Zelo let you sleep in his bed?" 

"Yeah he did, I slept pretty good." The younger took a seat on one of the kitchen chairs, watching how Daehyun took the joint between his lips. 

"You lucky bastard" Himchan then said to Jongup, "You know where I slept? On the floor in the hallway. Two people stumbled over me when they went to the bathroom last night. My ribs still hurt..." 

Daehyun laughed and offered his friend the joint. "Here, that helps with the pain." 

Himchan just looked at the weed in disgust. "Take this stuff away from me, you know I puke when I smoke that. I'd rather be in pain." 

"Give it to me then." A voice at the door said and Junhong entered the room, grinning. He wore boxers and a tank top, which Jongup was very thankful for. "Morning guys. Channie, hand me those cookies next to you." 

The older did as he was told and gave Junhong a smirk. "How are you hungry already? You never eat after getting up." 

"I'm not hungry, but I will be in a bit. Dae, may I?" He took the joint and put it between his lips in the corner of his mouth, before he noticed the still sleeping party guest in the corner of the room. "How can Bbang still sleep with Daehyun the noise machine next to him? I envy this guy." 

"Hey, what did you just call me? Watch your mouth before I put duct tape over it, Mister." Daehyun grinned and lightly kicked the boy's . 

"Yeah yeah. Jongup, let's go back to bed." He wanted to leave, but Daehyun grabbed his arm. "Wait, you can't just leave with my joint. That's not fair." 

Junhong removed the older's hand. "You made it from my weed anyways. But okay, you can have one more smoke. Just one, I need some for myself." 

Half a minute later, Jongup followed him back to his room, where Junhong flopped onto the bed. "So, did you sleep well?" 

Jongup sat down on the blanket. "Yeah, what about you?" 

"Very good." The younger  closed his eyes and slowly let out the smoke. "Jonguppie... I wanna start dating you... I think the two of us fit together quite well..." 

"Oh, really? I... I would like to date you as well..." 

Junhong looked at him, smiling. "Cool! You live with Youngjae, right?" 

"Um... Yeah, but I don't think it would be good if we met there..." 

"Why not? I've never been at Youngjae's place though..." 

"Um... I don't want him to know there's something going on between us..." 

Junhong sat up. "Oh... Are you not out to him?" 

The older shook his head. "I'm not out to anyone, actually..." 

"I see. And do you plan to tell him? I mean, maybe you should, now that we're dating. Or we just do what we do and when he sees he knows, whatever you prefer." 

"Um.. I would probably feel uncomfortable showing it when he doesn't know..." 

"Alright, then we won't let him know until you told him." 

... 

Two weeks later, they had agreed to meet at Jongup's apartment for the first time, since Youngjae was not home that evening. The past two weeks, they had met a few times, in the town or at Junhong's house. Admittedly, most of those days had ended in the younger's bed. 

When Junhong arrived, Jongup was nervous. He still had not told Youngjae, but he had managed to convince his cousin to text him before he came home. What was more worrying was the fact, that Junhong was not happy about the fact that Jongup was still hiding it and Jongup was scared the younger would tell Youngjae about it. 

"Hey baby" the younger grinned as he came up the last steps. He hugged the older, who stood in the doorway to the apartment before pecking his cheek. No kisses in open spaces. That was one of the rules Jongup had made to keep it secret. What if one of their friends or neighbors saw and told Youngjae? 

Junhong quickly closed the apartment door, so he could kiss him properly. "How's your day been?" 

"It was alright, mostly school and cleaning my room. What about you?" 

They went to Jongup's room and sat down on the bed. "Ah... school a bit today..." Junhong mumbled. "My ex tried it again... I am so sick of him... he started following me after school and it was hard getting rid of him..." 

"Hell, that guy is sick... I swear if he keeps doing that I'll start picking you up from school every day" Jongup  said and went to turn on his computer. 

They spent the afternoon cuddling, while watching horror movies. After a while, Junhong sighed, paused the movie and looked at him. "Jongup... I'm sorry but we have to talk..." 

The older bit his lip. He knew what this would be about. 

"How do you imagine our future when you keep hiding yourself? Why do you care so much what people think? How are we supposed to be in a good relationship when we always have to make sure nobody sees? I want to tell people about you, I want to tell them about my boyfriend and how adorable he is and how happy he makes me, but I can't... I can't even tell Daehyun although he has already asked me if there's something going on between us. I had to lie to my brother, I've never done this before and it feels so bad..." 

Jongup looked to the floor. He didn't know what to say, but he knew Junhong wanted to hear an answer. Luckily, in that moment, his phone buzzed. 

"You have to leave now" Jongup said quietly after checking the message. 

Junhong sighed. "Because Youngjae will be home soon?" 

Jongup nodded. "Yes... I still have to clean up..." 

"Fine..." the younger got up. "At least promise me you will think about what I said." 

"I will." 

"Thank you. Bring me to the door?" 

Jongup nodded and got up. They went to the front door, where Junhong put his shoes on. Then, they hugged. 

"I love you" the younger whispered, "And I want to show everyone what an amazing boyfriend I have..." 

Jongup smiled lightly. "I love you too." 

They stood there a bit longer, until the sudden noise of a key in the doorlock startled the older and he immediately let go. Seconds later, Youngjae came in. 

"Oh, hi Zelo. What are you doing here?" 

Before the boy could answer, Jongup cleared his throat and smiled. "He came a while ago to visit you, but you weren't here, so we hung out a bit. He was just about to leave..." 

Junhong looked him in the eyes for a second and Jongup could feel something clench in his chest at the expression in the boy's eyes, before the latter turned around and walked to the door. "Yeah. I should get going now, Daehyun is waiting for me. See you guys." 

Youngjae grinned. "There he goes. You know, it's weird he came because he knew I'm not home today... maybe he came because of you, Uppie." 

"Huh? What are you talking about?" The younger acted surprised but turned around and went towards the living room, so he did not have to look his cousin in the eyes. 

Youngjae followed him. "Well, maybe he's into you. Why aren't you two dating?" The older laughed. 

"Very funny. I'm not gay, Youngjae, so shut up with this bull." Jongup said, almost a bit too loudly, before going back to his room. Although acting angry, he felt bad after saying this sentence. 

He wanted to be with Junhong, really, but he could not tell Youngjae. His cousin always made jokes like that one and Jongup was sure that Youngjae would laugh at him if he found out Jongup was gay. He would make fun of him and maybe even kick him out, depending of how much he disliked gays, and then Jongup would be homeless. Youngjae was the last family member he had left, he could not lose him. 

... 

A few days later, they went over to Junhong's place, since Daehyun had invited Youngjae and Jongup for barbecue. The four of them sat in the garden until late at night, talking about this and that. It was a very relaxed mood and Jongup felt a bit frustrated after a while. He was in the mood for cuddles, but he could not get them because Youngjae and Daehyun were here with them. So he got up and looked at Junhong. "Zelo, before I forget it, I wanted to ask if I could borrow a DVD from you." 

The younger nodded. "Sure. Come, I'll give you what you want." 

Youngjae made an "Ooooh"-Sound, but Jongup tried to ignore it, as they went inside. 

In the hallway in front of Junhong's room, they stopped. 

"So, I guess you don't really want a DVD from me." The younger said. 

"Yeah... I just wanted a bit of private time with you... Away from the others..." 

Junhong sighed. "Jongup, this has to stop... I don't want to hide anymore..." 

"I know... I'm sorry, I just... You know, he always makes these jokes and that makes me so insecure..." 

The taller boy smiled and put a finger on the older's lips. "Stop talking, we can't stay here forever" he said and kissed him. 

Jongup closed his eyes and let himself go into the loving contact. 

Then, there were these steps on the staircase behind them and from one second to the other, his brain switched into panic mode. 

"What the hell are you doing??" he shouted, pushing Junhong away. "You can't just kiss me! What's your problem?" 

"Wow, what's going on here?" Daehyun, who had just came up the stairs, asked in confusion. 

"Ask you brother, he just kissed me like it's nothing. Dude, I am not gay!" 

With that, he stormed down the stairs and left. 

"Wait... what?" Daehyun asked. "Did you really kiss him? I didn't see anything, I was only halfway up the stairs when I heard him..." 

Junhong shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Why did you come in though?" 

"I just wanted to get myself a jacket, it's getting quite freezy." 

"Okay. I have to use the bathroom, see you outside. Oh, and... don't tell Youngjae about what just happened, okay?" 

"Of course not. See you outside then." 

Daehyun went to his room and Junhong hurried to the bathroom, locking the door. Then his legs gave up and he sank to the floor, crying. His chest felt like somebody had rammed a knife right through his heart, he felt like he could not breathe. 

Twenty minutes later, he had forced himself to calm down and made himself somehow presentable to go back to the other two. 

"Where's Jongup?" Youngjae asked, when Junhong sat down on his chair. 

"He didn't feel so good. He went home." 

To be continued...