Amber’s POV

I was sitting down on the couch. My gaze fixed on the television. The television’s light illuminates the dark room. The only thing I could hear was my music blasting in my ears from my phone. I wasn’t paying attention to the tv. I was trying to distract myself everything. Except it doesn’t seem to be working, because my eyes started to sting. I felt the tear slowly well up in my eyes. I could see my vision beginning to become a blur. I took a glimpse at my phone. The calendar was displayed on the small screen. It has been a while since we spoke. The noise from the music and tv were nothing in comparison to the screams inside her head. 

“Please don’t leave me!” a voice screams out inside her mind, “don’t go...”

The voices begin to overlap one another. Each saying another thing that hurts me, I cannot escape. I feel like my head is burning, I screwed up my face and turn up my music to the maximum volume.

“I need air” I gasp to myself.

The memories and voices continue to torment me as I put on my shoes then leave. I left my apartment to get some air. I found myself walking down the street. It’s bright out here. Except that I can’t seem to see how vibrant the grass used to be. I can’t see the color anymore. A gust of wind blew right through me. I noticed that I was the only one walking this lonely street. I checked my phone to see if I would be on time to meet my friend. I walked past a few more stores then arrived at the cafe we were supposed to meet at. The atmosphere in the cafe was dull to me. I didn’t like it. Although I the only thing I like was the warmth that kept me comfortable. I turned off the music and put my earphones inside my pocket. I looked around searching for my friend.

“Amber!” a man’s voice calls out to me.

My eyes looked to find where the voice came from. The one person who could put a smile on my face with his own contagious grin. I approached him and felt him wrap me into a tight embrace.

“Jackson.” I mumbled into his hug “Thanks for hanging out with me, I know you’re busy-” he pulled away from the hug and stopped me.

“Don’t say that,” he looked at me with worry in his expression “I always have time for you!” 

Jackson finished that sentence with a smile and rubbed my shoulder. He guided me to a seat where his stuff was near. I tried to move my lips into making a smile as I sat down and looked at him, but it turned into a frown instead.

“How are you-” Jackson stopped himself from asking that question, he breathed a sigh and rephrased his question “How’s your art going ay?”

He asked me a series of questions. I responded to them even though I didn’t know what to say.My mind kept drifting towards the screaming. The voices began to sound louder than Jackson. I felt like I was sinking.

“It’s your fault you know?” The voice mocked me.

I turned around and saw a couple look at me in a judging kind of way. I winced at the thought of everyone knowing.

“It’s because you’re always so sad” it kept saying that “You were so negative it drove people away.”

I felt my head start to throb, but I shook it off.

“Krystal?”

Jackson’s voice snapped me back into reality. I was about to follow his line of sight. But he laughed it off.

“I-I mean,” he stuttered as I furrowed my brows at him “What happened to you there? You zoned out on me.” 

He looked so concerned. I looked at the coffee table and back up to his eyes.  His eyes softened. I noticed that his gaze darted to the left then back at me. I felt confused, so I was about to look, but he got up and blocked my vision.

“Ah!” he exclaimed “I forgot to go grab something, can we go now?”

I blinked away my surprise then decided to just trust his odd behavior. We were nearly outside the shop, until we heard:

“Sir!” a barista rushed over to Jackson “You forgot your coffee!”

As soon as the barista got closer, I could see what Jackson was blocking me from seeing earlier. I froze in my place. I stood there as everyone was chatting and in the corner of my eye, I could see that Jackson was trying to keep his composure. I stared straight at Krystal and Kai. I could hear her sweet laughter. Probably in response to one of his jokes.

“Glad to see that you’ve moved on already…” I said under my breath.

Jackson was busy getting mad at the barista, because she was hitting on him. I took this opportunity to leave. Before the voices could come back to haunt me, I plugged the earphones in and turned up the volume. It was too late, I could hear her laughter echoing inside my head. I feel like the temperature has dropped. I can’t feel my hands. It has gone numb. I hunch over and go to scream, but no sound escapes. Tears keep welling up and running down my face. I can’t hear myself over the music. I got shocked to feel to arms pull me into a tight embrace. I know who it is when I hear their muffled voice. Jackson was probably saying sorry and reassuring me that everything was going to be okay.