Moon byulie had a hard life.

Her dad left when she was young. Her mother was an alcoholic and didn’t really care for her. She and her older sister are working part time jobs to support their household. Her older sister, Dahee, is now about 24 years old. She had been working at a Korean BBQ by day and learning to become a nurse at night school.

Byulie, is only 2 years younger, she's 22 years old now. She studies mechanical engineering at Yonsei University. Since her family, or more precisely, her mother, couldn’t support her financially she got a scholarship. But maintaining a scholarship is a lot of pressure. She has to keep her grades high, volunteer in school activities, and do extra credit projects. Like those aren’t enough for her to be very stressful, she works at a convenience store at nights to pay for her living and her mother's.

It wouldn’t be a surprise to hear that two years ago, she was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety disorder. However, she does not have the right financial condition to treat her mental state so she just... lives this way.

Since she can’t afford therapy, but desperately needed someone to talk to, she signed up for some anonymous texting app where you can talk to random people about your worries and issues.

Moonstar1222 is how she named herself in her app profile:

 

 

When Kim Yongsun saw this profile, she couldn’t help but want to talk to this person. She was tired of people pretending and being fake. Moonstar1222 just seemed real and genuine.

Yongsun, who is one year older than byulie, is also a student at Yonsei university. She studies at Yonsei's medical school. Yongsun is the kind of person who likes to listen to people's problems. Her life wasn’t as bad as byulie's but she had her own issues. Her parents were very catholic and she and the entire family cared a lot of what society thought of them. Her parents tried to raise a perfect girl and only cared for grades and achievements. Her entire life seemed to be fake as for all the people around her. She felt like a doll in a game, not like an actual college student.

 

And they started texting like that. Quickly they found themselves texting each other day and night, talking about everything from their personal issues to their favorite foods and music. They became very close and decided there's no need for the secrecy and exchanged KakaoIDs and eventually decided to meet in person.

"hello, moon byulie?" Yongsun asked the girl sitting alone at the corner of the coffee shop in front of the school.

"yes! Yongsun ssi? So nice to finally meet you" byulie replied.

It was their first time meeting each other, but it felt like old friends reuniting. They knew pretty much anything about each other at that point but still, they sat at that coffee shop until closing time, talking on and on.

 

They fell for each other.

Byulie never had a real relationship, she was too complicated for that she thought. She kept telling herself that no one would ever understand her anyway so what's the point of even trying. Even though she never was intimate with anyone, byulie knew she was interested in women and not men.

Since that first time meeting Yongsun at the coffee shop, she was amazed by her beauty. She was exactly her type. If you combine that with the fact that their personalities matched perfectly to each other, byulie just fell in love with Yongsun, pretty quickly. It was the first time someone actually understood byulie, cared for her, and listened to her. She has never experienced that before.

For Yongsun it wasn’t exactly the case. First of all, she never felt that way towards anyone and she was very confused by it. In addition, she was raised catholic and was told throughout her entire life she should find a kind man to marry and have his kids. She couldn’t let her parents down that way she thought. Yongsun simply refused to believe she had romantic feelings to byulie and was in fact, gay.

They kept hanging out together almost every free time they had. Which wasn’t a lot, considering their tight and packed lives. But the second the saw each other again, it felt like time had stopped and nothing mattered anymore. They tried to ignore their feelings; they were too afraid to admit how they felt and ruin the special friendship they had. Also, even though you could feel it between them, none of them was sure how the other one felt.

One night, Yongsan's parents were out of town for some church convention so she invited byulie over to watch a movie. It was the first time byulie visited Yongsan's house. On her way she bought some tteokbokki and soju for them to enjoy. By the time the movie ended they were both pretty drunk. They talked for hours, drinking more soju, and played some games. While fooling around, byulie decided to tell her friend a secret.

"come closer, I want to tell you something" she said

As Yongsun slowly came closer, the tension grew stronger.

Then, when they were really close to each other, so close they could feel each other's breath on their faces, they kissed.

After the lone, long kiss, Yongsun suddenly pulled away.

"I think maybe you should go" she said to byulie

"w-why?" byulie asked in confusion "I thought…"

"well, I guess you thought wrong, I-I am not… a lesbian" she said.

Byulie then got up, hurt, grabbed her stuff and went home. Her house wasn’t very close, but she couldn’t afford a taxi, so she just walked home. She couldn’t understand what went wrong. Her anxieties then popped up. All kinds of thoughts went through her mind; 'What have I done wrong?' 'Was I really that foolish to think she would be into me?' 'Why am I like that?' 'I shouldn’t have done that' she thought.

Meanwhile, at home, Yongsun wasn’t much better. She knew she hurt her best friend. But she was just so scared of her own actions, she didn’t want to admit to herself, that she really was, into byulie, that way. So out of panic, she asked byulie to leave in the middle of the night. She didn’t even realize byulie had to walk home alone at nighttime, she was confused, disgusted and angry with herself.

In the next few days, they were both ashamed to face each other. Each one thought she offended the other one with her actions. But when feeling that way, confused, angry, scared, the only person they could turn to, the only person they could share their deepest emotions with, were, each other.

They both apologized to each other, whether there was a reason or not, and agreed to not talk about that night again. They just missed each other's company too much, they couldn’t bare not talking to each other for so long.

Even though they went back to speaking, it wasn’t the same. There was something, this thing, their feelings, they just refused to talk about, but it was always there, quietly bothering them. As time passed, they returned to how they used to be, almost. They were talking about school, work, their families and pretty much everything else.

But there was another obstacle to overcome coming in the way of their friendship. One day, Eric Nam, a guy from Yongsun's anatomy class, approached her after class.

"Hey I know we don’t really know each other, but you seem pretty interesting and cool so I was wondering, if maybe you'd like to go out some time?" he asked her.

Yongsun wasn't ready for it. He seemed very nice but she barely ever spoke to him. Nonetheless, it was the first time ever a guy asked her out on an official date like that. Even though she wasn’t really into him in any way, she tried to prove to herself, and also to Byulie in a way, that she is into guys, so she accepted his offer.

"so… I don’t know how you will feel about that but… today this guy from my class, Eric, he sort of asked me out …"  she told Byulie as they were eating lunch.

"oh, I see… what did you say? Do you like him?" Byulie asked surprised, hoping Yongsun would reply negatively.

Yongsun responded she said yes. She said she doesn’t feel anything to him yet but she wants to try. She knew that conversation was hurting Byulie, but she tried to show her she wasn’t lying, and she really is into guys only, even though she was lying to both Byulie and herself.

That weekend Yongsun met Eric at the cinema not far from school. They watched a romantic comedy movie and while they were watching, Eric tried to put his arm around Yongsun. Even though she was feeling slightly uncomfortable she didn’t say anything. She figured she wasn’t comfortable because she's nervous. Before they said goodbye to each other at the cinema, Eric tried to kiss Yongsun, but she pulled back unknowingly. She apologized to him, excusing her actions by saying she wasn’t feeling well but had a great time with him. That was a lie, during the entire movie she could only think about what would Byulie say about certain scenes and how they would make fun of other people that were in the theater.

 

Yongsun still refused to acknowledge her feelings and uality. She kept going on more dates with Eric, hoping she would start liking him and have feelings for him as time passes by. Only these times she didn’t tell Byulie about the dates to not offend her. She knew for a fact now that Byulie was into her and she didn’t want that matter to come up again.

Meanwhile, Byulie's life has experienced some more bumps. One night, when her older sister had a fight with their mother in which the mother hit her, Dahee decided to move out and left the house to leave with her boyfriend. So, like it wasn’t enough so far, now Byulie had to work harder to support her alcoholic mother and keep her sanity. At least she had Yongsun by her side.

For some reason Byulie didn’t know, Yongsun seemed to be busier these days. So, she decided to start working out to release some stress. One time, during her night work out, while she was passing by the school, Byulie saw Yongsun kissing Eric. Yongsun did not enjoy that kiss nor felt anything, but she forced herself into kissing him, telling herself maybe if she kissed him, she would feel something. The only person she kissed before was, Byulie, but kissing Eric didn’t feel even remotely good as kissing Byulie that night.

Only thing is, Byulie didn’t know all that. She was hurt to her soul. Her entire body was in pain. She felt alone, betrayed. Seeing the girl she loves, kissing a man like that suddenly, her feelings were storming inside. She really thought Yongsun and her had something, something special. She figured maybe Yongsun needs time to understand her own feelings. She did really think Yongsun was into her as well. That kiss can not be faked she kept thinking, the way Yongsun kissed her that night, there was no chance she didn’t have some sort of feelings of love towards Byulie.

It was now when she needed Yongsun most since things back home weren’t great with her mother. She told Yongsun about that but she didn’t tell her just how bad it was, since Yongsun seemed busy. When Byulie realized why Yongsun was so busy that she couldn’t be there for her, she got mad.

She ran away. Suddenly, Yongsun saw Byulie's shadow, she recognized the bright yellow sneakers she bought her for her birthday, and she realized she saw Eric and her kissing. She ran after her.

While she ran away Byulie arrived at the Han river. When she was passing on the bridge, Byulie had an impulsive decision and she jumped over the fence. She didn’t want to live anymore; she was tired and exhausted with her life. It wasn’t the first time Byulie had this kind of thought in her mind, but she always remembered she has Yongsun by her side. Only now, she thought she didn’t have her anymore. When Yongsun arrived, it was too late. She jumped.

Emergency services pulled Byulie out of the water and saved her life. Now she was taken to the hospital. During the time she was treated in the ICU, while the doctors were fighting for her life, Yongsun was there, waiting, nervously. She was the only one there. Byulie didn’t have other friends and obviously her family didn’t show up.

Finally, the doctor came and looked for Byulie's family to let them know she's alive. At first, he didn’t want to let Yongsun see her, since only family are allowed in the ICU, but when he realized Byulie's family didn’t, and are not going to show up, he let her in. When she was finally let to see her Byulie hasn’t woken up yet. The doctor didn’t know if she ever will. They said she was out of oxygen for a while and maybe her brain was damaged. Yongsun stayed by her bed, holding her hand, not letting go for a moment, day and night. She even skipped school, to her parent's disapproval, but she didn’t care.

After 3 days, Yongsun suddenly felt a tiny tiny movement in her hand. It was Byulie, she was waking up. Yongsun quickly called the doctor but still didn’t let go of Byulie's hand. She tried to talk to her, Byulie answered very blurrily but greasily "hello beautiful". Then, Yongsun knew she's back to herself. Usually whenever Byulie was 'flirting' with her, she would be startled, scared to expose how she really felt, but this time, she had the biggest smile on her face.

She asked Byulie why did she do that. Byulie responded that she lost everyone and when she saw Yongsun and Eric she realized the only person she loved doesn’t love her back, not as she thought she did. She simply thought she lost Yongsun forever. Yongsun apologized and said she was stupid and kissed her strongly on her lips. She promised she will stay by her side, forever. She added that she didn’t care anymore what others, including her own parents, think. Cause she knows and she understands now that she loves Byulie more than anything and that she wouldn’t be able to live without her.

"I have never told you this before, since I was stupid very stupid, but you are y as moon Byulie" Yongsun said with tears of happiness in her eyes.

"I know" Byulie said, in her greasy voice.

"oh shut up" Yongsun giggled, and then softly kissed her again.