Chanyeol sat down at the café table opposite Baekhyun and slumped forward dejectedly. As Chanyeol’s face slid ever closer to the table Baekhyun made a deft snatch rescuing his chocolate chip muffin just in time.  Chanyeol groaned miserably one cheek smushed into the now empty plate, his long arms wrapped around his head.

“What’s wrong now?” asked Baekhyun, picking a large chocolate chip off the top of the muffin and nibbling on it. Baekhyun had met Chanyeol on the very first day of his first year at university. During their economics lecture together, Baekhyun had done an impression of a motorbike zooming past and Chanyeol had laughed so hard he’d fallen right off his chair. The Lecturer had thrown them both out for being disruptive and they'd been best friends ever since.

“He’ll never agree to date me!” exclaimed Chanyeol, gesticulating wildly and sitting back up as suddenly as he had flopped forward.

“Did you actually ask him then?” asked Baekhyun in surprise as he moved his chair back a bit to avoid Chanyeol’s flailing.  He knew Chanyeol had a huge crush on their classmate Kyungsoo, but he didn’t think he was actually going to do anything about it. He had seemed satisfied so far with gazing adoringly at him in class and trailing along behind him like a lovesick puppy.

“No, I can’t because he’s always with that stupid Jongin,” burst out Chanyeol miserably, “…with his stupid perfect hair and teeth and that damn body! Did you see what he was wearing yesterday?! A crop top!”

“Yeah, I saw,” said Baekhyun, letting his mind wander back to the memory of Jongin’s glorious abs. He on another chocolate chip thoughtfully. Yesterday had been a really good day.

“I could wear a crop top, if I wanted to,” Chanyeol muttered darkly.

“Course you could,” replied Baekhyun not really listening, his mind was still reveling in the glory that had been Jongin’s crop top. “I mean, no, please don’t!” he exclaimed when his brain caught up with his ears.

Chanyeol rested his head back on the table again.

 “What has he got that I don’t? What’s wrong with me?” he asked, peering up at Baekhyun with his huge doe eyes.

“Do you really want to go there?”

“Yes!” he cried. He sat up again keenly, pulling his chair in to get closer to Baekhyun.  

“Alright, here’s the thing, your insides don't match your outsides,” said Baekhyun, through a mouthful of muffin.

Chanyeol looked confused for a second, then looked down and quickly pulled the top of his shorts away from hip to peek at his boxer briefs. “Yes, they do!” he exclaimed.

 “I’m not talking about your clothes! Though they might be part of the problem,” he added eyeing Chanyeol’s outfit disapprovingly. He was wearing a worn-out Zootopia t-shirt with Nick on the front smirking and a pair of very baggy shorts. “Look, you’re tall and you have a great face but...you’re just too damned cute! We’re in university now, Yeolie. No one wants to date a big dumb cutie they want a y guy…like Jongin.”

“I’m y!” protested Chanyeol.

“You’ve got muffin crumbs stuck to your face,” pointed out Baekhyun amused.

 Chanyeol sighed. “Please help me,” he pleaded, giving Baekhyun a beseeching puppy dog look.

Baekhyun leant over and gently brushed a couple of crumbs off Chanyeol’s cheek.

“No, not with the crumbs! Help me be y!”

“You can’t teach y,” said Baekhyun complacently, a muffin crumb off his finger.

“I’ll buy you a doughnut every day for the next 2 weeks!”

“Oh, you can totally teach y. It’s a deal,” agreed Baekhyun happily.