Her eyes go over the script for that night’s episode. She goes over the papers, back and forth, running the lines in her head while the jingle of the radio station played in the background on repeat. A man entered and made his way towards Hanna who, at this point have been modulating her voice to practice how she’s going to throw her lines when they go on air.

            “Hello,” the man wearing a black turtle neck greeted as he sat by the chair facing Hanna. He’s got monolid eyes and a clean cut hair.

            “Hi there, Jae Won.” Hanna bowed just a little and she smiled at him. “Right in time,” she added to which Jae Won simply affirmed by letting out a chuckle.

            “Well, no reason to be so early up in here.” He placed his earphones on and fixed his script, quickly going over the flow of tonight’s show. “Drinks later?” He asked her casually and Hanna took in a deep breath while she thought of an answer.

            “Let’s finish with the episode first and then I’ll tell you right after.” She took her pen and a piece of paper where she scribbled the word ‘drinks’.

            Jae Won opened his mouth for a rebuttal but he almost instantaneously stopped himself from calling Hanna out on bailing right after the show. She almost always says no.

            “We’re starting in five,” the man said over the intercom and showed the number by his fingers through the glass window. Hanna understood what he meant this despite having her earphones on and she responded with a nod. She raised her hand making a circle with her thumb and forefinger as an okay gesture.

            Hanna cleared and opened the water bottle in front of her. She took a gulp and by this time, she had already placed the script down on the table. Her eyes found themselves staring at the computer screen where comments from listeners continued to roll up one after the other. They were mostly people requesting for songs or greetings, some are words of encouragement, and once in a while there are statements that express hatred. Hanna usually just shrugs this off since even before she landed a part time job at the radio station, she had been exposed to working with a lot of people when she was still living with her parents—when was still in charge in a part of their business.

            Her eyes continued to follow through with the constant moving of the remarks on the screen until one note caught her eye. It’s not exactly disapproval about the show nor is it an entry for a greeting or a song request. It was just one question but it was enough to make everything in Hanna’s world seem to come into a complete stop. The perky and light rhythm of the song on repeat sounded muffled and then slowly faded. Suddenly there was silence and Hanna sat in her chair like a statue. She knew she was slipping into the abyss and she felt like a butterfly trapped in a net—flapping her wings ceaselessly trying to escape only to find herself exhausted. It was just one question: Remember Se Young? And yet, it was enough for Hanna to spiral down a few minutes before they go on air.

            “Kang Hanna,” Jae Won called out as he saw the color drain out of his colleague’s face. “Hey,” he tried again but to no avail. She was on a different realm and this got him a tad bit worried because it was such a long time since Hanna drifted in her own thoughts like this. He reached for her arm and he tapped her as gentle as he could. It took him a few times but eventually, Hanna snapped out of her trance-like state. She looked at him with wide eyes and a whole back story she couldn’t spill. Which is why when he asked her what was wrong; she tried her best to muster up a genuine smile and a plausible lie.

            “Nothing,” she answered initially with a smile on her face but she could feel the heaviness that had formed at the pit of her stomach. “Just a passing thought, I tend to do that from time to time,” she continued to say. Hanna did not bother that much to explain when she remembered that Jae Won is this obnoxious and borderline homophobic man when alcohol gets in his system.

He was quick to dismiss the topic on his side of the conversation and settled with the answer that Hanna gave him. Jae Won was good at that—pretending to care when he doesn’t really feel any form of sympathy or goodwill.

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