Clicking sounds—tear drops falling on the crisp and smooth paper. Daybreak had just begun and there she was lying on her bed despite another sleepless night. Outside her window, the sky appeared in hues of orange that bled into blue, and all around her, only the sound of the whirring heater can be heard. She adjusted herself on the bed so she had her back resting by the headboard. She shut her eyes tightly and wiped the trail of tears left on her cheeks. She stayed like that for a while; her hands cupped her face as she tried to untangle the mess in her head. That is, of course, until she was slapped right back into reality when her phone rang and a man’s voice filled the air as he spoke after the beep.

            “Hanna, it’s me Heo Jun. I just called in to remind you of our lunch together. I’m on my way to the restaurant.” The voicemail ended with a beep and only then did she move out of her bed. She threaded her way out of her pure white blanket that felt so heavy in between her grasp. Her feet met the floor which felt cool against her skin. Hanna looked over her shoulder and stared at her copy of “Bridge To Terabithia.” She sighed wearily and finally stood up from her bed.

            As she paced around her apartment, Hanna started to list down the things she needed to attend to throughout the day. Meeting her older brother after two years of no contact is just the beginning of everything. She stepped into the shower and as she twisted the valve in one swift motion, water started to trickle down her skin.

            Hmm, what else is there? Hanna thought to herself, running her hands through her now drenched hair.  Seeing Heo Jun, going to my job, swinging by the bookshop. She stood under the continuously flowing water for a few good minutes and when she was done enumerating the same things again and again in her head; she stepped out and wrapped a towel around her damp body.

            She tucked her pure white three-fourths blouse into her black a-line skirt that draped just below her knees as she stood in front of the mirror. Hanna turned in certain angles, observing herself from how her collarbones appeared prominent through the thin fabric of her clothes, down to her hips, to the exposed part of her legs that seemed whiter than the last time she remembered, and finally her brown shiny leather derby shoes. She gave her face a final look and being contented with how she applied her light make up on, Hanna smiled just enough for her dimples to show.

            This is how she mustered up going outside for the last two years. It’s not that she was concerned with how people would perceive her beyond the walls of her apartment but it’s more of just looking for little things that would make her feel okay—or in better terms, things that would make her feel less empty.

            Hanna picked up her cream colored satchel and her keys jingled inside due to the motion. She walked across the room and onto the door, she turned to give the place one final glance even though knowing at the back of her head that nothing has really changed, she took her coat from the hanger beside the door and with a single press from her finger the lights were out with a ticking sound. Hanna pulled the door open and the chilly autumn air greeted her, making her automatically reach for her coat that hanged on her arm, sliding one arm at a time, she then put her hands on both pockets and took in a deep breath as she made her way out of the complex.

            It was fifteen minutes to eleven in the morning when Hanna reached the restaurant her brother had picked. As soon as she got inside, her ears were filled with the sound of the metal utensils against ceramic plates, people talking in low voices, and an overused jazz music she most probably heard countless times to fill in dead air. Her eyes scanned the place, it wasn’t a particularly busy hour but the place had a decent amount of people enough for her to have a hard time finding her brother—if not for the other reason that they hadn’t seen each other for the past two years.

            At the end of the room, a man stood up halfway from his seat as he raised a hand over his head. His move was calculated and refined. He wore a navy blue coat and plain white long-sleeves paired with a navy blue tie. Hanna raised her hand just enough to signal the man that she saw him. She then passed by a couple of tables, some empty and some are not, until she made it to his table. The man gestured for Hanna to take a seat.

            “Sophisticated as always,” Hanna remarked with a soft voice as she looked at the dainty interior of the place. She transferred her gaze to the man—her brother, who sat in front of her with eyes that seemed to have seen an old ghost.

            “I really missed you,” Heo Jun blurted out. Hanna chuckled to herself but it came out sounding like a sarcastic smile.

            She nodded to pass time as she searched for words to say. It’s hard talking to someone who feels so distant. In the end, she resorted to the safest answer she can think of, “Me too,” she replied with a faint smile.

            Heo Jun turned and almost immediately a waiter came strutting towards them, menu in hand. “Pleasant morning,” the waiter greeted with a beam, his perfect set of pearly whites showed in full picture. Hanna nodded briefly as she reached for the menu that the waiter handed and Heo Jun uttered a small greeting back to the waiter while he scanned the contents of the page.

            “Lobster tails with garlic and butter.” Heo Jun lifted his vision to Hanna who still had her eyes glued at the menu. “Hanna,” he called her softly and she looked at him nonchalantly.

            “Oh, I’ll have the stir-fried salt and pepper squid please. Thank you.” She flashed the waiter a smile to which the waiter responded with affirmation before leaving both Hanna and Heo Jun with another wave of dead air.

            He took a sip of wine and cleared his throat in an attempt to break the silence that has been too dense for his liking. “So, how have you been?”

            “Never been better,” Hanna answered. “I work as typist on weekdays and I’m a DJ for a radio program during weekends. I have a roof over my head, I can put food on the table, I am being tapered off of my meds. To put it simply, I am doing okay,” Hanna enumerated the invisible list in her head, sounding matter-of-factly. Her voice was exactly how Heo Jun remembered it was—soft spoken and calm. Although, there was something missing, the bliss in her tone was gone.

            “That’s really good to hear,” he replied, meaning every word. “But don’t you think it’s too much? You’re working even on weekends.”

            “As if you’re not doing the same,” she rebutted and Heo Jun pursed his lips and raised both of his hands to admit defeat. “What about you, anything new?” She inquired with a tad bit of curiosity in her expression.

            “Well,” he began to say, “I just came back from Italy—meeting with the board.” He plastered a smile to hold himself from saying more than what is asked.

            “Any current reads?” He asked her trying to keep the conversation going.

            “I just finished bridge to terabithia this morning; it explains why my eyes are all puffed up…” her voice trailed, “that is, of course, if the makeup was not enough to hide it.” They both break into chuckles but it died down as soon as it came.

            “You read that book countless times when we were kids.” Heo Jun took another sip of wine and Hanna shrugged at her brother’s statement.

            “It’s not my favorite for nothing,” she told him simply. “There’s just something about that book and how it was written—” Hanna halted in the middle of her sentence and the corner of her lips curled up. “I won’t go down the specifics because I know it’d bore you out.”

            Heo Jun let out a short laugh, “You know me, still. I never really fancied fiction.” He shifted on his chair and although there was still an impending moment of awkwardness, he also felt that Hanna is slowly feeling comfortable around him again.

            She pursed her lips and took in a deep breath before she proceeded to speak, “I appreciate that you never stopped reaching out to me all this time.”

            His expression softened with what she professed. “Of course, I’d keep reaching out to you. You’re my one and only sister. How could I stop, right?”

            She was about to respond when another waiter came and excused himself to put their plates on the table. It has been a long time since Hanna had such a fancy meal but the etiquette remains fresh in her muscles. She raised her glass and took a sip of water before picking the fork from the table.

            “Let’s eat,” Hanna spoke and Heo Jun took that as a signal for him to start his meal. Silence made its presence be known between the siblings and although it’s taking a toll on the both of them, it was such a familiar occurrence that they didn’t mind. After all, they grew up with an atmosphere just