santa
PARADOXthe morning sun is already shining through the window when you opened your eyes.
you sighed, feeling bad for waking up. you were having a dream about irene again, a pleasant dream where she kissed you.
the first time she kissed you before, you kept dreaming about it continuously for a week. this time you dreamt about it again and it feels so real like it really happened.
did it really happen?
the unfamiliarity of your surroundings finally sinks in. you pushed yourself up on your elbows and looked around.
this isn't your room, and this isn't your bed.
the card irene put in your pocket is on the bedside table. you picked it and read the label: 'go for a lip-lock with the person to your right'.
you dropped your hand on your leg.
so, it wasn't a dream.
she kissed you.
irene kissed you again.
you touched your lips, couldn't believe you were given the chance to feel those lips again.
the door burst open, making you jump. yongsun came in with a glass of milk on one hand.
"hey. you're awake," she said, smiling brightly at you. she sat on the bed and pinched your nose. "good morning." she handed you the glass.
you hesitantly took it from her. "am i in your house?"
"yeah. you don't remember what happened last night?" she asked. "you were so drunk and byulyi doesn't want you to take a cab home alone. i brought you here with me when my driver picked me up last night."
someone is missing in her story so you had to ask. "just... me...?"
"along with irene. she's staying in my room."
you instantly feel awkward hearing that name. you looked down at the glass.
"by any chance..." yongsun trailed off, hesitating. "do you remember anything from last night?"
you knew what she was trying to point out. you handed the card to her. "if you were pertaining to that then yes, i kind of remember it."
yongsun giggled. "i didn't know you were such a good kisser."
"huh?"
"i've never seen irene lip-lock with someone for about a minute. you must have kissed her good!"
your eyes widened. "a minute???"
"yeah. you don't remember?" asked yongsun, chuckling. "well, she kissed you first because that's what the card says. but after she pulled away, you held her waist and pulled her back for another kiss that lasted for... i'd say, about a minute...?"
your mouth fell. you looked down again, blushing. yeah. you kind of remember that.
"and i take you enjoyed it too?" teased yongsun.
you covered your face with a hand. "jeez. this is embarrassing."
"why are you embarrassed? if you're gonna ask me, i seriously think you both enjoyed it.
"but it's irene, and we're not even that close..." you sighed. "it's gonna be awkward to face her now."
"chill." yongsun tapped you. "you and irene have the same reaction. she was worried as when she woke up. and you, look at you, you look worried yourself. you two are so cute!"
you looked at yongsun, wondering how can she take things lightly. "but it shouldn't have happened, right?"
"it's just a kiss. why are you two making such a big fuss out of it?" asked yongsun, gesturing her hand, telling you to drink the milk now. "we were just having fun. besides, you're both drunk. it's understandable."
you obeyed her by drinking the milk while you stare lost at nothing.
of course, it matters to you. you like irene and it's something you always wanted to do with her.
"moustache," said yongsun, handing you a tissue.
"oh. thanks." you wiped the excess milk on your mouth.
"let's not make this long. you guys need to talk now."
"what? as in now?"
"yeah. that's the reason i came here, to pick you up." yongsun took the glass from your hand and put it on the bedside table. "rene is already waiting for you in my room."
the next thing happening is you getting pulled out of the bed. "d-do w-we r-really need t-to do it n-now?"
"of course." yongsun continued dragging you out of the room. "when are you planning to talk about it? next year? when the awkwardness and the friendship have totally subsided?"
you couldn't answer as you stare in awe around yongsun's house--or mansion.
"here." yongsun stopped in front of a door. "you go in and i'll leave you two for a while."
you could feel your palms sweating. "uh. can i use the restroom first?"
"ugh! no stalling!" yongsun twisted the knob to open the door and pushed you inside. "off you go!" she slammed the door shut after.
you clenched both your fists while you stare at the closed door in front of you, hearing your heart beating fast against your chest.
"sun-ah, can i borrow your comb?"
you turned around at the voice and saw the person whom you wanted to see and avoid at the same time.
irene looks like she came fresh from a bath, wearing an oversized shirt that looks like yongsun's. a bath towel was draped around her head.
she looked surely surprised seeing you inside the room.
your hand automatically pointed at the door to explain your presence in that room. "uh. well, yongsun..."
"ugh. that woman," said irene, irritated. "so, she was serious about this?"
before you could respond, yongsun's voice spoke behind the door, "you guys better talk or else i'll lock you both in there."
irene smacked her hand flat on the door. "yah, sun-ah! stop snooping, will you?"
the door opened a little and yongsun's head popped in. "i will if you guys will promise me you're gonna talk this out. c'mon, you just got close and i don't want you getting awkward with each other."
irene glanced at you for a second and went back to yongsun. "fine. just make sure you'll leave us alone, okay?"
yongsun giggled. "i will. i promise." she closed the door again. "i'm leaving!"
irene shook her head. "c'mon. let's talk over there." she gestured inside and you followed her. she sat on the bed and you made your way further to seat on the ball chair.
and then there was silence.
you wanted to start the conversation but you don't know what to say. should you apologise? but isn't she the one who kissed you first?
"look, i don't want to make this any more awkward," irene started, bringing a hand to her neck. "i'm sorry. i guess i had too much drink and i just... out."
you pressed your lips together, feeling upset that maybe it meant nothing to her.
"so, you're not mad at me?" you asked.
"why would i be mad at you?"
you brought your palms to your mouth hoping to cover your embarrassment. "well, it's because i... i... i kissed you back... again..."
"ah... yeah... right..." irene looked away and pinched her nose. "couldn't blame you. you're drunk as much as i am. you were drunk too the first time it happened, right?"
you scratched the tip of your eyebrow as you nodded a lie. you weren't drunk when you kissed before. you just couldn't resist her. and even if you were drunk last night it wouldn't make any difference. you still want to kiss her.
irene brought her hand to fiddle with her yang necklace. "maybe i got frustrated with the game, for not being able to execute anything so--i don't know--maybe that card just got me. i hope you wouldn't take it seriously."
you nodded, getting more disappointed now. so, the kiss was all because of the game, just for the sake of having fun. right. right.
now you're getting mad at yourself for even hoping her feelings drove her to kiss you and not just the game. you had some moments on the dance floor which made you think somehow, to some extent, she likes you too.
"are you okay?" asked irene.
"yeah..." you lied.
"you don't look like you're okay."
"hangover is attacking," you reasoned, waving a hand. "let's not make this long. what happened last night was a mistake. like you said, it's just part of the game and we're both drunk."
"yeah..." irene looked somewhat disappointed.
"i should go now." you stood up and walked over to the door to open it. you were already near the door when you heard her speak.
"what if it was yongsun?" she asked.
you turn around and saw irene looking down at her feet. "pardon?"
"i'm curious," she said, still looking down. one of her hands clutched the bedsheet. "what if it was yongsun who kissed you last night, will you kiss her back?"
your throat suddenly felt dry. sometimes the questions answerable by yes or no are the hardest ones to answer.
you are certain that it would have been a different story if it was yongsun who kissed you. but should you tell irene about it? and why is she even asking?
"you don't need to answer if you're uncomfortable," she said, probably sensing your hesitation.
"i wouldn't have kissed back if it was yongsun," you admitted, unsure where you got the courage from. but you were quick to back it up with a reason. "this may sound weird but i'm already comfortable with you. it could be because of what happened before. still, i'm sorry for last night, and before."
a smile slipped on irene's face upon hearing that. "i'm sorry too."
"can i ask a question in return?" you asked and she nodded. "what if... what if it was byulyi who's sitting to your right last night, would you do what the card says?"
she smiles one more time and looks away, rubbing her palms together. she shook her head no after, her cheeks blushing.
"i'd drink the tequila instead."
and with that, everything suddenly felt right.
---
your conversation was disrupted shortly when yongsun came in to tell you that irene's mom is already waiting for her in the driveway. irene left immediately. not too long, yongsun arranged a service to your home which you cannot refuse because she wouldn't take no for an answer.
you were in the living room waiting for the driver when you noticed a familiar box on yongsun's coffee table. it's the same box of pringles getting delivered to you every afternoon.
you still couldn't make yourself to believe it's really yongsun even though the proof is right in front of your eyes. it's not like you don't want her to be your secret santa. in fact, you are grateful and you are already planning of thanking her for her kind gestures.
"seulgi?" it was yongsun walking over to you.
"is this yours?" you raised the box in your hands.
yongsun nodded. "yeah. want some?"
you smiled at her, feeling thankful you finally got the chance to know about your secret santa. "sure. thank you. i'm curious tho, where are you buying this?"
"i didn't buy that one. rene has a lot of those in her room and i couldn't resist taking one for myself because, you know, she's got a lot."
you looked back at the box in confusion. "irene?"
yongsun hums. "i don't know what's happening with that woman. she just started buying those and stacking it. i mean, we've been friends since we were kids and i just found out she's this crazy about pringles."
you stared at the box, your eyebrows furrowing more.
beep... beep...
"there's your ride," said yongsun.
you put back the box on the coffee table and hugged yongsun. "thanks for letting me stay here for the night."
"anytime." she tapped your back. "now off you go. i'll see you on monday, okay?"
---
you took a deep breath as you slowly slid down the wall into a sitting position. you're holding one of the pringles cans in your hands.
it's the same box. you could not be mistaken.
confusion crept over as you remember irene's two cents about the anonymous sender.
'maybe the person likes you?'
'likes me? why me? i'm not a likeable person.'
'unfortunately, you are.'
you looked up at the ceiling and exhaled. you brought a hand to your head and massaged your temples, mentally asking yourself why irene had to lie if it has been her all this time.
Comments