It was the worst kept secret in the group; Min Yoongi, despite his cold and quiet exterior, was a big caring softie underneath it all. Handing off towels or water bottles when they were needed, without a word or having to be asked. Making sure that a portion of dinner was put away in the fridge for Namjoon when his writing ran late, or Hoseok when he stayed too long at the dance studio. Washing dishes for Seokjin as they were dirtied by the group mother during cooking. Listening silently to Taehyung or Jeongguk when they had complaints or issues, not offering up false assurances, not talking over them, usually only speaking up if he had something particularly useful or poignant to add, but still, acting as a sounding board for them to throw their own thoughts at, just to vent, or until they could see the solution for themselves. 

The only reason Yoongi’s particular soft spot in taking care of Jimin was the second worst kept secret in the group was because, it would seem, Jimin and Yoongi remained blissfully unaware of the favoritism. 

Which was not to say Yoongi was completely unaware of his own feelings. While he didn’t know just how much he seemed to favor Jimin in the eyes of the others, or how obvious he was actually being, he was only too aware of how much he felt for Jimin.

The group lived by certain unwritten rules, one of the most important being constant open communication about any problem, feelings, compliments, ideas. It was one of the main things that set them apart from other groups, Yoongi thought. Made them closer, helped them work together and understand one another. Made their music more cohesive. He knew the fans could feel that closeness, too. Yoongi strived to open up more to the others, when he could, about what he could, despite it not coming as naturally to him as it did to several of the others. He had come a long way over the years, had shared thoughts and suggestions and even fears and hopes that he would have never thought he would share, had he been asked about it even just a few years ago. 

But the way Park Jimin made Yoongi’s heart race with the simplest touch or smile was not one of those things Yoongi could see himself finding a way to ever share. Not just because it was one of his most secret, private thoughts, but because he could not see the good in sharing it at all. They all had signed contracts forbidding dating, and even the idea of the world finding out about his interest in being with another man and the scandal such a thing would cause made him dizzy whenever he considered it. Not to mention what such a thing would do to the dynamic of their group, whether Jimin returned his feelings or not. Not that Yoongi thought he did, if the way he always turned those same blindingly sweet smiles and gentle touches on all the other members was any indication.

Still, after years of slowly growing feelings, Yoongi couldn’t help but to entertain certain fantasies, thoughts and daydreams of another life, where Min Yoongi and Park Jimin could meet, fall in love, and be happy.

 

***

 

Yoongi would later call it a meet cute when telling Namjoon’s new boyfriend Seokjin about it, and Jimin would learn what ‘meet cute’ meant.

Yoongi would always go to the same coffee shop in the early afternoon, order the same coffee he always got - black with two sugars - and sit down at a table near the back that he had come to consider ‘his’, open his laptop, and work on his lyrics. 

Jimin was a customer of the same coffee shop, though he tended to come in about an hour later, after his classes ended and before his shift at work began, and grab some light and sugary concoction, often trying whatever new flavor the shop was advertising, usually getting the whole thing topped with whipped cream. He never bothered to glance most of the way into the shop, at the guy around his height and not far from his own age tucked away at a table and tapping constantly on his laptop’s keyboard. 

A lunch meeting with Namjoon had run later than usual, and so Yoongi arrived at the coffee shop just after Jimin. Jimin ordered his drink, and Yoongi rolled his eyes at the sound of it, though the way Jimin chatted easily with the barista at the register made him the smallest bit jealous as he was never so great at easy conversations with strangers (were he and the barista even strangers, though?) and the sound of Jimin’s laugh made his chest feel light. He spared the man a glance, Jimin catching it as he turned around after paying and smiling at him in a way that filled the lightness in Yoongi’s chest with warmth. And then Jimin was gone. Yoongi stepped up to order.

At the other end of the counter, Yoongi caught Jimin’s eye again as they waited for their drinks, and he could tell his smile was awkward, but if Jimin thought so, it didn’t show in his own bright expression. A coffee arrived on the counter, and Jimin took it and left the shop with one last brief smile tossed in Yoongi’s direction. Yoongi glanced over his shoulder to watch the door shut behind Jimin, then took the next coffee that came out and sat down.

One sip and he knew that something was very, very wrong. It was all whipped cream. Yoongi almost gagged. Then, remembering the other man’s order, he was on his feet and headed for the door. If he was lucky, he could catch him before he’d gotten too far, and have his blessedly dark coffee back from him. As he pulled the door open, the other man was on the other side, pushing in, and he almost fell. Blushing and righting himself, Jimin laughed, that same high and bright laugh, and Yoongi felt it again, the lightness of his chest. 

“I think this is yours,” Jimin said as he held out his cup. 

Yoongi took it and handed the other cup to Jimin. “This is definitely yours. How can you drink that?”

Jimin looked surprised at the comment, but then grinned. “How can you drink yours like that, so bitter?” He scrunched his face up. It was the cutest thing Yoongi had ever seen.

Impulsively, and so unlike himself, he blurted, “I’m Min Yoongi,” wanting to keep the man there just a bit longer if he could.

Jimin smiled, almost a little hesitantly. “Park Jimin.” He held out his free hand, and Yoongi took it, intending to shake it firmly, but holding a bit more gently as he shook it. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Yoongi would claim, in the retelling, that he was very suave after that, all flirtatious looks and smooth lines, inviting Jimin back to his table to see some of his lyrics and enchanting him with his music until Jimin had to excuse himself to get to work on time, but not before they exchanged numbers and agreed to meet again soon. Jimin would - correctly - inform Seokjin that Yoongi was actually a stuttering and introverted mess of a man over the following fifteen minutes, clearly enamored one second, doing his best to come across as aloof and uncaring the next, and that Jimin had mostly followed along to his table out of curiosity but had known from the moment he put Yoongi’s headphones on and heard one of his songs that he needed to find a way to spend more time with the man, and he had practically had to force Yoongi to give him his number before leaving, as shy as the other man was. 

But regardless of the version, the story ended with them texting each other far too often, planning a date for the very next day, and falling crazy in love way too fast, but really, they just couldn’t help it. And Seokjin commented that they clearly looked very in love. And Yoongi, his arm around Jimin, could not have been happier.

 

***

 

Yoongi found Jimin in his room, with Taehyung standing beside him and speaking to him very animatedly, his hands flying here and there as he recounted an interaction he’d had with Jeongguk earlier. Yoongi leaned against the doorframe, waiting patiently for Taehyung to finish, but before he could, Jimin had glanced past Taehyung and spotted him. 

“Oh, hyung, hey!” 

Nothing special by way of greeting, but Yoongi felt warmed by it anyway. “Hey.”

Taehyung had turned to look as well. “Hi hyung.”

“Sorry if I’m interrupting.” But the younger men shook their heads, and so Yoongi pressed on. “Jimin, did you wanna go grab coffee?”

Jimin smiled, and Taehyung… smirked? Yoongi didn’t know what that was about, but he could work on figuring it out later. “Yeah,” Jimin agreed instantly, getting up from his bed to root through some of his clothes to find something presentable to wear out. “Just gimme a minute okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed easily, as Taehyung headed out of the room. He stopped briefly at the doorway beside Yoongi and gave him a quiet, “Knock it outta the park, hyung.” Yoongi looked at him with his brow gathered in confusion, but Taehyung just grinned and patted his shoulder, then left.

At the coffee shop, Yoongi ordered a black coffee with two sugars. Jimin got something light and sweet with whipped cream. They didn’t talk much, but then again they didn’t need to. It was enough for Yoongi that Jimin even wanted to spend some one on one time with him at all.

And if he felt just a little too soft at the way Jimin’s hand settled on top of his on the table for a few brief moments as they neared the end of their trip out, well, nobody really needed to know about that.

 

***

 

Despite his introverted nature, Min Yoongi, writing major in his fourth year at university, had somehow managed to make a few close friends in his time at college. Namjoon, Seokjin, and Hoseok were honestly three of the greatest guys he knew. Not that he would say that out loud. But he was sure they knew he thought it anyway. 

Yoongi liked spending time with them, often at Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment just off campus because it was roomier and Seokjin could cook them meals when time allowed. Thankfully, Seokjin had already graduated, so barring work taking over his life on the rare occasions it did, he had a lot more free time than the rest of them. Yoongi took full advantage of having to do very little in order to end up with a full stomach, and it also helped save his often nearly empty wallet. University life could get expensive.  

He particularly enjoyed how quiet most of the time he spent at their apartment was. Or, at least, usually was, aside from the times Hoseok would get particularly hyped about one of his many passions and start going off. But without anyone there to help fuel his high energy, those bursts were rather rare and usually didn’t last long.

That was, until Hoseok announced that after clearing it with Seokjin, he was bringing three of his friends to dinner. And Yoongi could only imagine how bad it was going to be to have to try to deal with four Hoseoks.

As it turned out, it was much, much worse.

Taehyung, who, weirdly enough, had asked to be called V, was one of the loudest and most excitable people Yoongi had ever had the displeasure of being forced to dine with. Jeongguk, who by the looks of it had no right already being at university and belonged in a middle school classroom, seemed intent on following along with anything V did, and laughed and played just as loudly. 

Their third new guest, who Yoongi did not think was cute or pretty at all, thank you very much, was thankfully the quietest of the new three, though Yoongi didn’t know if that was his usual personality or due to shyness being around new people. But somehow he was still far too loud and playful for Yoongi’s tastes. 

Yoongi did his best to remain entirely neutral in his expression and his body language, so he wouldn’t come across as rude, but Seokjin giving his hand a light squeeze made him aware he was maybe not doing such a great job of it. And so for the first time in about ten minutes, he tuned back into the conversation, hoping to find something to like about the rambunctious bunch. After all, he had managed that with Hoseok, right?

“I mean at least you were willing to come out,” Jeongguk was saying to Jimin in a voice far too teasing for someone so much younger than any of them. Yoongi supposed they must be quite close.

“Oh hush, I haven’t been that reclusive.” Jimin’s soft voice had laugher in it. Yoongi liked it.

“No that’s true,” V insisted, in that deep voice of his that Yoongi seemed continually surprised at. He didn’t look like that voice should be coming out of him. “It’s been at least a week since I heard any emo songs coming out of his room.”

Hoseok and Jeongguk laughed, Namjoon and Seokjin looked like they were hiding amusement, and Jimin slapped V on his arm. “Shut it! I wasn’t that bad!”

“Oh yes you were, after he broke up with you I thought you would never stop playing--”

But V’s words were cut off by a startled sound and more laughter as Jimin hopped from his seat and started pummeling V. 

“Woah, woah,” Hoseok got up, still laughing, to help save V from Jimin’s attack, and if Hoseok had to be the one in charge, Yoongi knew he could never handle such a group of friends. The whole while, Jeongguk and V seemed to be splitting at the seams with laughter.

“I mean thanks for outing me to everyone too, I guess,” Jimin whined pitifully.

“Oh, like you’re the only queer guy at university, right?” Yoongi said sardonically, and everyone looked varying degrees of surprised that he had even spoken after having been mainly silent throughout the meal. 

“Well, I haven’t met too many,” Jimin answered back, with a smaller voice. 

“Or, you have and you don’t know.” Yoongi’s hand came up and pointed at Namjoon, then Seokjin, then himself. “I count four at this table, that I know of, which is more than half, and I don’t even know about those two looney tunes over there.”

“I like girls,” Jeongguk said back instantly.

“Yeah me too,” Yoongi responded with a lifted brow. Then his attention was back on Jimin. “I don’t think you need to worry about whether anyone outs you, at least here.”

“Well… thank you,” Jimin managed to reply, though he looked unsure, and it almost sounded like a question. Yoongi just nodded and ate more kimchi jjigae.

“In any case, I’m glad you weren’t locked up in your room over a breakup so we could meet you,” Seokjin said to Jimin with that mothering tone in his voice. 

Jimin’s smile was bright when he directed it at Seokjin. “Me too.” Then his eyes were on Yoongi when he added, “I’m really happy to meet you guys.”

Yoongi’s mouth felt dry all of a sudden. He needed water.

After dinner - which had quickly picked right back up to the high energy event it had been before Yoongi had spoken - the three newcomers and Hoseok left first. Yoongi sighed once the door closed behind them, having spent the better part of the meal trying not to stare at Jimin, and failing a lot. He thought he caught Jimin looking right back a few times, but he couldn’t be sure.

Until Seokjin handed him a slip of paper. “He was too nervous to give you this. So he gave it to Hoseok to give to me to give to you.”

Yoongi frowned and took it, and then read what was inside: a phone number, an address on campus, and an offer reading, “Dessert at my place?” Yoongi looked at Seokjin again, who was already headed for the door, opening it for Yoongi. Yoongi didn’t need to be told twice, already halfway down the hall when he heard Seokjin shouting after him, “Use protection!”

 

***

 

“I got you a treat,” Yoongi told Jimin after dinner one night, once almost everyone had finished and left. “In my room.” He said it quietly, but clearly Hoseok still heard him, because after Jimin let out a curious and excited little, “Really?” and moved to get up, Hoseok waggled his eyebrows suggestively at them. Yoongi gave him A Look and pushed his shoulder, and Hoseok laughed. 

“Really,” he confirmed, and he led the way. In his room, he shut the door, mostly so no passersby would see the treat and come begging for some. 

Jimin sat on Yoongi’s bed in his usual way, comfortable and leaned back, like there was nowhere he would rather be. “What is it?” he asked, full of curiosity. 

“You can’t turn it down no matter what, okay?”

Jimin laughed. “What -- no seriously, what did you get me?”

“Okay?” Yoongi repeated himself.

Jimin groaned and dropped his head back, and Yoongi tried not to think of anything suggestive when he did that. Lifting his head again, Jimin gave in. “Okay.”

Yoongi smiled, and joined him on the bed, reaching down to fetch two small takeaway containers. He handed one to Jimin.

Jimin opened it to reveal a piece of strawberry cheesecake. His eyes went wide, and then he looked at Yoongi. “Hyung, I can’t--”

“You agreed,” Yoongi inisted. “And you can.”

“But my diet--” Jimin tried again.

“Is a bunch of crap, and you deserve some treats. I mean damn Jimin, look at you, you’re already hot.” Well. He certainly hadn’t meant to say that much, or to say it in those words at the very least. 

Jimin’s cheeks pinked at the compliment. But still, he looked from the cheesecake to Yoongi, his expression doubtful.

“Come on.” Yoongi took a forkful of his own cheesecake and held it up to Jimin’s mouth. He did his best not to watch Jimin take the bite, not to imagine anything untoward as the younger man’s tongue dragged against the plastic fork’s tines. Not to let his thoughts get away from him at the sound Jimin made at the taste.

“Oh that’s so good,” Jimin said, and Yoongi was absolutely not imagining him with that voice in a much more compromised position than sat on his bed eating cheesecake.

“Right?” he agreed instead, and they both ate their dessert without any further complaint. And if word got out he had bought a special treat for Jimin alone, well, that was the others’ faults for snooping and gossiping anyway.

 

***

 

August, 4893

Upper New Seoul

A dingy apartment, floor 113, the kind that doesn’t even have a working AssistBot. Not that Yoongi needed an AssistBot in such a small space anyway, and with such a low maintenance lifestyle. He kicked aside a few stray pieces of clothes on the floor and sat down on his sleeping mat, pulling up the only thing he actually invested any money into: his audio workstation and recording equipment.

At first he just fooled around a little bit with some sounds, because he had delivery on the way and he didn’t want to get too into his work and miss the bell. Still, despite himself, he had one headphone on and his most recent track going by the time a high, jingling tune floated through his apartment to alert him someone was at the door. 

He paused his music and went to the door, and there standing on the other side was the most beautiful delivery boy Yoongi had ever seen. He blinked a couple times as the man read out his name and his total from the order screen on his digipad strapped to his arm, and it took Yoongi a moment to recover and nod.

“Uh… yeah, that’s me.” He leaned in to sign the digipad to confirm payment. Even with the smell of curry coming from the warming bag by the delivery boy’s feet, Yoongi could smell a certain cologne on the other man, and it felt enchanting. 

The man pulled the food from the bag and handed it to Yoongi. “Thank you,” Yoongi murmured out. 

“Have a good day,” the man said with a smile and, oh, Yoongi was weak kneed over that look. 

The man left, and Yoongi watched him, as he walked the few steps back to his bike, drove down the driveway, and took off into the sky beyond, dipping out of sight a few moments later.

Yoongi closed the door behind himself as he went back inside, hearing it seal shut as he tried to shake himself out of whatever daze he had just been put in.

But he must have really liked the daze, because two days later, Yoongi ordered curry for delivery again. 

“Min Yoongi?” the man confirmed, though it was clear he didn’t actually need to, having delivered there just two days prior, and his smile said as much. 

“That’s me,” Yoongi answered as he leaned in to sign. “What’s your name?” He realized what a weird question it was to ask a delivery boy after the words had already left his mouth.

But he didn’t seem to mind as he told him, “Jimin.” Another smile, the one that left Yoongi feeling kind of lost. “Park Jimin.” He handed him his food. “Have a good day, Min Yoongi.”

“You too, Park Jimin.”

Yoongi didn’t try to hide at all why he kept ordering curry. Sometimes he would wait a few days, sometimes it was every day. For almost a month, it went just like that, maybe thirty seconds of interaction at a time, but somehow Yoongi learned more and more about Park Jimin. And it seemed like Jimin was enjoying their brief meetings just as much.

But maybe Yoongi had been wrong. Because one day he ordered, and Park Jimin did not deliver. Yoongi signed for the new delivery boy, and then took his curry inside, feeling more confused than he had a right to be. After all, he and Jimin didn’t actually know each other, not really. The other man had every right to a day off, right? Yoongi shook it off.

Until his next delivery was from the same new delivery boy. And the one after that.

Yoongi stopped ordering curry.

A week later there was a knock on his door, and Yoongi was surprised to find Jimin, curry in hand, on the other side. 

“Oh, I… didn’t order anything,” 

Jimin laughed a little. “I know. But… I was in the area?” he tried, and Yoongi laughed too, and he stepped to the side to let Jimin into his tiny apartment.

“I was worried you quit or something. Or that you decided you don’t like seeing my face anymore,” he said with a forced nonchalance.

“No, nothing like that,” Jimin waved a hand, the other setting two takeaway dishes of curry down. “I… had to go get some parts replaced.”

“What, for your bike?” Yoongi asked, getting them each a spoon to eat with. When Jimin didn’t answer, he looked at him, and Jimin looked sheepish. And Yoongi realized. “Oh.”

“Yeah…” Jimin fidgeted slightly.

Yoongi needed just a moment to gather himself. It made sense, an android in the service industry. Yoongi chuckled. “Wow, I’m surprised I didn’t guess sooner, with how perfect you look.” He hadn’t actually meant to say quite that much, but he could see Jimin blushing when he handed him his spoon. He gestured for them to sit on his sleeping mat and carried the food over.

Jimin sat down, though he seemed a little hesitant and stiff, a bit thrown off.

“What, did you think I was gonna kick you out of my place just cause you’re a robot?” Yoongi asked as he handed Jimin his food. 

“I’m not a robot, I’m a-,” Jimin insisted quickly, but when he looked at Yoongi, he seemed to understand the joke there, because he visibly began to relax. “Sorry. But not everyone is as friendly as you are…”

Yoongi knew that. There were ongoing battles for android rights and labor laws, all kinds of religious and philosophical discussions. Conversations about whether androids had “real” emotions. Yoongi didn’t know much about android programming, but he knew a lot about emotions. And he could see that android Park Jimin had them. Anxiety, concern, happiness. Yoongi had met some androids that were clearly not programmed to feel a full range of emotions. So he knew it wasn’t something mystical or inherent, like the idea of a soul. But he knew that he felt a lot like an android some days, not programmed to feel happiness one day, or only programmed to feel indifference on another. And he wasn’t sure that there really was any difference between himself and an android when it came right down to it.

Well, besides the obvious.

“So you like to eat anyway?” he commented, gesturing at the meal in Jimin’s hands as he began to eat his own. 

Jimin paused with his spoon lifted halfway to his mouth, and he gave a sideways grin. “Yeah! I have a full taste sensor, so why not make good use of it, right?” 

Yoongi chuckled and nodded. “Can’t argue with that. But I’d like to maybe write a complaint to someone about mine because it makes some foods taste bad to me that, according to other people, I should find delicious.” 

Jimin gave him an amused look, bright and round, and he couldn’t pull his eyes away.

“What are some things you haven’t tried yet, that you want to?” Yoongi asked.

Jimin thought for a minute. “Foreign foods, mainly. There are lots of places around that make foreign dishes but I would love to actually travel, get to taste foreign food made authentically.”

“That sounds like an amazing time…” Yoongi glanced around. “If I could afford it someday.”

“Yeah, delivering meals doesn’t exactly rake in a lot,” Jimin agreed with a smirk and a shrug

The sleeping mat was rather small, and they were close enough for their legs to be touching. And Yoongi, for some reason, was feeling rather bold, and so, he looked at Jimin and asked him, “Have you ever tasted… a human?”

Jimin seemed to squeak a bit. “A h-- a human?” he asked back, unsure.

“The taste of their skin?” he asked, hand finding Jimin’s, then running up his arm as Yoongi invaded his personal space, pressing closer. “The taste of their tongue against yours.”

Jimin, as an android, didn’t have a need to breathe, but somehow Yoongi heard a hitch in his breath anyway. “No, never.”

Yoongi slid off the sleeping mat so he could kneel in front of Jimin instead, hands on his sides, nose brushing Jimin’s. “Would you like to?” he asked softly.

“Very much,” Jimin said immediately. 

Yoongi leaned in to kiss him slowly, a gentle press of his lips against Jimin’s. He could feel the tentativeness in the way Jimin began to return the kiss, barely moving at first, but then pressing in, arms looping around Yoongi’s body to pull him closer, his meal placed carelessly off to the side. Yoongi slid his hands up to Jimin’s neck and tilted his head so he could deepen their kiss, easing Jimin’s lips apart, letting his tongue explore the android’s mouth almost delicately. Jimin whimpered.

Yoongi pulled back but kept close. “How did that taste?” he asked, a bit breathlessly.

Jimin laughed. “Like curry.”

 

***

 

“That new movie is out,” Yoongi announced to a mostly empty living room, then directly to Jimin, “the sci-fi one you wanted to see, I think.”

Jimin seemed to be thinking for a few moments, and then his face showed understanding. “In Space and Time?” 

“Yeah that one,” Yoongi nodded. 

“Oh Tae and I just saw that,” Jeongguk said, and Jimin clapped his hands over his ears.

“No spoilers!”

Jeongguk laughed and shook Jimin’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, I won’t spoil it.”

“Did you want to go see it?”

Jimin looked at Yoongi. “Like right now?”

“Yeah.” Yoongi could see the way Jeongguk was looking between the two of them. 

“I’d love to!” Jimin said excitedly getting to his feet. “I… mean, yeah, that sounds good, hyung. Just, um, lemme go grab my jacket.”

Jeongguk and Jimin seemed to share some kind of Look as Jimin left the room, and then Jeongguk turned to Yoongi. “Make sure to buy him popcorn. Oh, and bring tissues. He’s gonna be crying on your shoulder.”

Yoongi shook his head at their youngest member trying to give him instructions. “He can buy his own popcorn. And… cry on his own shoulder.” 

But Yoongi did buy Jimin popcorn. And Jimin did cry, hard, leaving a wet spot on Yoongi’s shirt sleeve. And if Yoongi used the opportunity to pull Jimin in a little closer with an arm around his waist and whisper soft shushing noises into his hair, well, that was just him being a good hyung, right?

 

***

 

It had taken Jimin, a new employee at the entertainment company Yoongi was a producer for, such a very short time to work his way into Yoongi’s everyday schedule. The problem was, once he decided to do so, it took Yoongi no time at all to remove him.

When Jimin arrived on his first day all bright eyed and bushy tailed, Yoongi could admit to himself that the guy was handsome. More accurately, cute and gorgeous. But he was overly friendly, bouncing all around, laughing (in a way that had Yoongi feeling some Things He Would Not Admit) at just about anything. And it grated on Yoongi. 

Until it didn’t. Jimin had sat down near him on that first day and pulled out a home lunch and ate it slowly as he much more quietly introduced himself to Yoongi, as opposed to the volume he had been using with everyone else. And for a moment Yoongi almost wanted to snap, to ask why he was being treated so differently, but the truth was, he appreciated that Jimin noticed his quieter nature and made efforts not to be too in his face. And after that, Jimin would greet him softly, greet everyone else so so loudly, sit with him every day to eat his lunch, and soon, Yoongi came to expect it, so that on the rare days Jimin couldn’t or otherwise simply didn’t come sit with him, he felt oddly lonely. 

Yoongi didn’t share himself or his life easily. Which was why it was so unnerving to him as inch by inch, Jimin slowly broke down his carefully constructed emotional wall, finding weaknesses in it by prodding each time they had lunch until, without Yoongi even noticing, another brick was gone. He learned so much about his new coworker, and shared in turn. Their families, their careers, their hopes and aspirations. Mundane details of their daily lives, fun anecdotes from their childhoods. Yoongi felt, for the first time in a long time, heard and understood, whenever he talked to Jimin.

Jimin, Yoongi discovered in time, had perfect lips. Yoongi would watch them as they surrounded the corner of a sandwich for a bite, or when he spoke or (rarely) sang for him. And he had eyes that Yoongi could never get tired of looking into. His smile was a thousand watts and shot straight into Yoongi’s heart. And his body… well, Yoongi didn’t want to let himself think too much about that because it wasn’t like he would ever get to enjoy such a body anyway.

One day, during lunch, Jimin put his hand on Yoongi’s thigh. And he asked, in that way he asked all the things he did, curious and innocent, never pushy, “What’s your biggest fear?”

Yoongi almost said, “You.” Instead, he realized all at once just how far he had let things get out of his control, and he slid his chair away a couple inches so Jimin’s had would slip off his leg. “Hey, why don’t you go eat with Taehyung today? I’ve actually got a lot of work to do.”

Jimin looked like he might protest, but then he simply stood with a quiet, “Okay,” and left, probably in search of the other man.

Like that, Yoongi removed the Distraction that was Park Jimin from his life. Jimin tried to come around for lunch the next day, but again Yoongi told him he had a lot of work to do and instructed him to eat with someone else. And the same thing happened the next day. And anytime Jimin tried to catch his eye for a look or a smile, he ignored it, looking the other way. 

Yoongi felt hollow. When he ate his lunches, they tasted bland. His heart felt like cracking. But this was exactly why he kept people shut out in the first place, wasn’t it? If nobody was allowed inside, nobody could get hurt. He found more bricks. Rebuilt his wall.

Jimin had wormed his way into Yoongi’s life and stayed there for almost two months. It took two weeks of them being apart before Jimin finally cornered him.

Yoongi was working late, as usual, and when he glanced at the clock and the window, he figured he must have been the only person left in the building. He ran his hands over his face and sighed, looking at his screen again, deciding if this was a good place to stop for the day. 

Then a quiet voice behind him asked out, “Yoongi hyung?”

Yoongi froze, but eventually turned, and looked at Jimin, who looked small and unconfident. Still, Jimin stepped closer.

“Hyung… did I do something?”

Yoongi sighed again. He stood from his seat, and then shook his head slightly. “No. You didn’t do anything.”

Jimin stepped closer, bravely. “Then why…?” He bit his lip. “Why are you avoiding me?”

Yoongi stayed silent, not ready to face the answer to that question.

Jimin was pretty close by then, starting to invade what Yoongi considered his “stay out bubble”. “Hyung… what’s your biggest fear?”

The problem with such a newly constructed wall was that the concrete hadn’t yet had time to set, and here Jimin was, pulling the bricks away like they had been laid loosely, ready to be taken. When Jimin didn’t get an answer, he moved even closer. Any closer and the fronts of their bodies would be pressed together. “What are you scared of?” His voice was quiet and gentle, and still just as purely curious.

“Being hurt,” Yoongi finally answered. “Falling apart and having nobody to catch me.”

“I’m right here,” Jimin assured. “And I work out a lot so my arms are pretty strong for catching falling men,” he said with a small laugh. He took another step forward, so their bodies pressed close, and his hands ran smoothly up Yoongi’s sides.

Yoongi exhaled slowly, and for the first time, let himself fall.

 

***

 

“Fix this.” Namjoon’s tone left no room for argument or conversation. “And do it now.”

They both knew Yoongi didn’t need to be told what he needed to fix. Too many things had been lining up, too many offhanded words from the members, too many significant looks, and Yoongi knew he was close to being found out, if he hadn’t been already, and so it had been three days since he had talked to Jimin or messaged him at all, over a week since they had gone on any of their one-on-one outings. He was, put plainly, avoiding Jimin. And it was obvious.

Yoongi glanced up at Namjoon, then nodded in a resigned way, and got up off his bed to go to Jimin’s room. This time when Taehyung stepped out of the room, he shoulder checked Yoongi. Yoongi didn’t even have it in him to argue against it.

From inside the room, Jimin looked up at him. For one of the first times since Yoongi had met him, he couldn’t read his expression at all. He was sitting up straight, face as neutral as he could make it, and he invited him in muted tones, “Come in if you’re coming.”

Yoongi stepped inside and shut the door carefully. He took a moment to stare at it, then turned back. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

Yoongi was not used to this Jimin. Emotionless, not reacting. Yoongi moved closer to the bed. “Can I sit?”

Jimin seemed to consider it, then moved over to give him room. Yoongi sat just as carefully as he’d closed the door. “Did you need something?”

“Jimin… look, I’m sorry. I’ve been an .”

“Why?” 

It was the first time Jimin had shown emotion since he had entered the room, and it was all anger. Yoongi knew he deserved it, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. “Because I’m an idiot.”

Jimin seemed to be waiting for more, but when no more came, he frowned deeply. “Well… then… can you stop being an idiot?”

Yoongi puffed out part of a laugh. “I don’t know if there’s a force on Heaven or Earth that could manage to stop me from being an idiot, Jimin.”

“Well can you try…?” 

Jimin’s voice sounded so small and needy. Yoongi felt it grip at his stomach and heart. “Yeah,” he assured him, moving closer, pulling Jimin into a hug. Jimin curled right up to him like they had never been apart. “I can try, for you.”

And if Yoongi felt himself fall a little bit more in love, felt his heart break just a little bit more knowing they couldn’t be together, well, it was worth it if Jimin was happy.

 

***

 

Once upon a time, a tan skinned, thick thighed, round cheeked boy joined an entertainment company to pursue his dreams of becoming an idol and a dancer. He met an older boy who was already with the company, a pale skinned producer and rapper who liked his quiet time and wasn’t the friendliest guy. Despite their differences, the two were put in the same idol group, and soon became friends.

They practiced side by side for hours and days and weeks, months, years. The older boy wasn’t a very good dancer, but the younger one spent extra time in the studio helping him get his moves just right. And he couldn’t sing to save his life, but the younger came to his rescue again, with his soft and high voice, listening to the older boy’s almost painful sounding guide tracks and helping shape them into something beautiful. The younger boy wasn’t much of a rapper, but together with the older, somehow he found his rapping voice along the way.

They protected each other when things felt dangerous, held each other when things became too much to handle alone. Laughed together, celebrated together, cried together. They won and lost together. And in time, they fell in love together. 

One day, laying together on the older’s bed, the younger boy asked why he was holding back. Was it because of him.

And the older boy assured him that no, it was never him. It was the others. The way they would feel about it. The way it might hurt the younger boy when he found out how they all felt about it. 

And the younger boy held the older boy close and kissed him between words as he told the older boy he could never care about those reactions half as much as he cared about the older boy.

 

***

 

Seokjin made it clear that things were not yet back to normal, after Yoongi had apologized to Jimin. 

“I dunno if we need to, like, hang up a banner? Would that work?”

Yoongi was a little scared of Seokjin when he got this way, if he was being completely honest. “Uhh… would that work for what?”

“To convince the two of you we all love and support your inevitable relationship, dummy,” Seokjin said with one of those looks that made it very clear he was totally serious and absolutely at his limit. Yoongi just stared, feeling trapped. “Ugh… Yoongi, just… look, he’s gonna be here in like…” He checked the time on his phone. “Like, right now. I got everyone else out of the dorm. Figure it out before we get back. I mean it.”

And without allowing any kind of reply, Seokjin left.

Yoongi freaked out. What was he supposed to do? What could he even say? This was how he would die, he was sure of it.

Then Jimin walked through the door, and Yoongi’s eyes went wide. But he managed to swallow down his nervousness, and he walked into the front room to meet him.

“Hey!” Jimin smiled at him. That damn smile. But he glanced around curiously, at the front room and the shoe rack, as he took his shoes off. “Quiet. Did Tae and Gukkie go out?” 

“Actually… everyone went out.”

“Oh? Where’d they go?” Jimin looked a little thrown off.

“No idea.”

“Why… didn’t you find out and go with them?”

“They wanted me here.”

Jimin nodded just slightly. “Hyung… did they want me here too?”

Yoongi nodded.

“Did they want you… and me here? The two of us? To be alone?”

Yoongi nodded again.

Jimin paused. “Do they think we’re banging?” he finally asked, his voice quieter and borderline horrified.

Yoongi laughed out loud at that. “No, oh… god, oh I hope not? Some of them might. Taehyung probably does?”

Looking at Yoongi with a much steadier gaze than Yoongi would have thought Jimin capable of during this kind of conversation, he asked, “Would he have a reason to think we might be?”

Yoongi was back to nodding silently, because having Jimin figure it all out was a lot easier than saying it himself. 

“Do you… want there to be a reason for him to think we might be?”

Yoongi swallowed, and met Jimin’s gaze. “If… people were to find out...”

Jimin came closer, but he seemed hesitant. He bit his lip. “If the guys left us here like this… I think they think it’s all worth the risk.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

There was something about the way it took Jimin no time at all to answer, no thought needed, that startled Yoongi. Then he covered the rest of the space between them and took Jimin’s cheeks between his palms, and leaned in to kiss him, and it was nothing like in fantasies, too real, too slick and they were both shaking too much, but it was so much better than any daydream could ever be. “Then I do too.”

And if the whole world were to turn against them after finding out, well, they had always endured the worst life had to offer from the comfort of each other’s arms.

 

***end***