“So this is it? The end?” 

Hyejin asked the blonde that just finished packing her bag and was taking her coat from the hanger. She felt that her eyes were getting teary but she was still trying not to break down in front of the older girl. 

“What do you mean?” 

Yongsun gave a surprised look to the younger girl. She was surprised by this sudden question and Hyejin’s voice sounded so...downhearted. It wasn’t like Yongsun haven’t told her about moving out to live with her partner. She told her about it one month ago and Hyejin reacted supporting and she said that she was happy for her unnie. But why right now, sitting at that couch her dear friend looked so small and vulnerable. She looked like that five years ago when she was so stressed and tired all the time, worrying about the rent payment, working two part-time jobs and at the same going to multiple auditions in order to become a singer. And after so many auditions she was finally taken in RBW agency and Yongsun was so proud of Hyejin. She still remembers how happy her friend was and how happy Yongsun was to be able to share this memorable moment with the younger girl.

———————————————————————————————————————

“Unniiieeee! I did it! I passed the audition! I will become a singer!” Yongsun was putting the dishes in the dishwasher at the cafe she worked in. It was almost the end of her shift and she was actually planning to call Hyejin after she was done with work, so she was really happy to hear the voice of the short haired girl. 

“I KNEW YOU WOULD DO IT!!!!YESS!!! MY BABY IS SO TALENTED!” Yongsun was so happy to hear the news that her excitement went over the top. She run to Hyejin and took her in the strong embrace. “OMO I AM SO HAPPY!” 

“Unnie! You are so loud!” Hyejin was a little bit embrassed of Yongsun’s reaction but at the same time she couldn’t stop smiling and being in the arms of her friend felt so...warm. Hyejin couldn’t explain her feelings at that moment, they did hug before and it felt like a typical hug between friends but this one made her feel differently. Maybe because she was so happy to finally be able to pass the audition and she also was happy to share her achievement with her unnie. Lost in her thoughts, suddenly she felt two hands cupping her face and she saw Yongsun’s shining eyes and heard her voice saying:

“I’m so proud of you.” 

That smile on Yongsun’s face, those shining eyes, that caring voice telling Hyejin that she is proud of her. This was the moment when Hyejin understood that Yongsun was more than a simple friend to her.

***

Hyejin was tired. She was training so hard to dance, to sing and at the same time she still kept on working on two part-time jobs. She was struggling with rent payment and she had little money for food. She missed her family and her childhood friend, Wheein. Right now short haired girl was sitting outside, on the bench near the cafe where Yongsun worked in. She couldn’t go in because of the smell that would make her stomach growl asking for some food. And she still couldn’t understand exactly her feelings when she was around Yongsun. Hyejin was half asleep in her thoughts when she felt a hand on her shoulder and she smelled a sweet coffee. 

“Here! For you!” 

Yongsun gave Hyejin a huge cup of coffee and a big tuna sandwich. “I cant...”Hyejin was about to start to refuse when the older girl made a strict face that looked so adorable because her cheeks looked even more chubby and in her cute strict voice Yongsun didn’t gave a chance for Hyejin to say anything.

“I dont want to hear any refusal! Let me take care of you!”Yongsun sat down next to Hyejin and put her hand on the brunette’s knee. “It hurts me to see how tired and exhausted you are and you don’t even tell me anything but I can see that you are struggling a little bit and giving you a sandwich and a warm coffee is the smallest thing I can do right now. But I want to give you so much more and take some of your worries away. So talk to me, Hyejin. Let me help you.” Yongsun kept on drawing circles on Hyejin’s knee and looked at her with the warmest look asking Hyejin to open up. The younger girl again felt familiar warmth spreading through her body. Those caring bright eyes looking at her, that warm hand on her knee. 

“I just...”

Hyejin finally broke down. “...I feel so tired and stressed out and I really like singing but sometimes I feel like giving up and it is hard to keep up with mypart-time jobs and I struggle with rent payment, my landlord keeps on whining to me about it and I miss my family and now I can’t even meet up with you so often because I don’t have so much of free time.” Hyejin couldn’t stop talking and she felt that her eyes were becoming teary but she couldn’t cry in front of her unnie. She had to show her that she is strong. Suddenly she was taken in the arms. She felt so...warm. Again Yongsun is hugging her. She heard a sound. Was the blonde crying? Hyejin felt the hand her hair. 

“Why didn’t you talk to me about your worries?” 

Yongsun was crying. “Why? Every time I met you, you was smiling so brightly but your eyes....your eyes looked so tired. I felt like something was wrong but you always kept on saying that everything was alright. You should have talked to me about your worries, It hurts me hearing everything just now.” The blonde was crying and hugging Hyejin that was getting more emotional. Don’t cry Hyejin, don’t cry. The younger girl kept on repeating these words in her head. Then in a small voice she whispered near her unnie’s ear: “I’m sorry.” Yongsun kept on Hyejin’s hair and crying but then she calmed down, broke the hug, whipped her tears off her cheeks and looked at Hyejin. “Let me move in the place you live. Let’s live together.”

“What?” 

Hyejin was surprised. “You dont have to do it, unnie...”Yongsun again didn’t let her finish the sentence. “I am 22, an adult and I still live with my parents and it is so boring. I want to have some new changes and I have never lived with someone else before, like when I went to college I didn’t live in the dorm, so I never had a roommate. I was quite lonely during my college time. So let me move in with you! We will divide the rent and you can then leave one of your part-time jobs and then you will have more time and...” Hyejin again tried to speak up. “Unnie you really don’t have to...” 

“No. Stop it Hyejin. Give it a chance. This will be fun. We will spent more time together and I’ll cook for you and when you will feel tired I’ll give you nice warm free hugs.” 

Hyejin still felt unsure and she didn’t want to bring Yongsun hardships so she tried again. “But...” The younger girl started to speak up but then she looked at Yongsun whose cheeks looked so puffy right now and she was looking at the brunette with her puppy eyes. And then the older girl with the most caring voice said: “Please...Let me take care of you.” Then she smiled with the most brightest smile and Hyejin smiled back and accepted it. This was the moment when Hyejin understood that she is falling in love with Yongsun.

 ***

Hyejin just finished performing her debut stage, she was nervous. So many questions surrounded her head: Will she become successful? Was it a right choice to become a singer? Did people like her? Will she have fans? Did she mess up during her performance? Right now she can’t remember what she did on the stage. But even though she was worried, the brunette was happy. It was her dream, to perform, to sing. It was a right choice. Hwasa, the confident woman with y movements, charming aura and beautiful voice was just born. 

Suddenly Hyejin thought of the blonde girl. Will Yongsun watch her performance later on TV? Will she be proud of her? Lately they didn’t have proper talks because Hyejin was always busy, preparing for her debut, preparing to become Hwasa. She always came home very late and tired, without even having a proper meal or a shower, she just went straight into her bed in order to have a little bit of sleep. When she laid down, after a couple of minutes she could feel the hands of the older girl that lived with her. Yongsun’s hands hugging Hyejin were so warm and the short haired girl felt so...peaceful. This happened every night when Hyejin came home tired. They didn’t talk, they just laid down, Yongsun was hugging her and this was everything Hyejin needed. She always slept like a baby and woke up with so much energy. Yongsun’s hugs are really warm. 

Once she woke up, it was another day when she had to go to RBW agency and keep on working hard. The sun was shining bright, Hyejin sat on the bed and then she looked at Yongsun. The blonde looked so cute and peaceful in her pink pyjamas and messy hair. The younger girl smiled, she moved closer to the sleeping girl and carefully her hair. The next thing that happened was unexpected, Hyejin herself didn’t understand what she did. She moved her face closer to Yongsun and gave her a little quick kiss on the lips. When she realized what she has done she freaked out. Luckily Yongsun didn’t wake up and the brunette left the bed and quietly dressed up, had her quick breakfast, not forgetting to leave some for her unnie. She was about to leave when she heard cute sleepy voice. 

“Are you already leaving?” Yongsun looked so cute half asleep in her pink pyjamas and messy hair that younger girl wanted to kiss her again. But she couldn’t, it was wrong. Yongsun wouldn’t have allowed her, this will break their friendship. That kiss shouldn’t have happened. So Hyejin just put on a smile and answered: 

“Yes. Also I prepared some breakfast for you and the kettle is still warm, so hurry up and make some coffee for yourself!” Yongsun just smiled, she went to Hwasa and gave her a hug. “Thank you Hyejin! Have a nice day!” The brunette felt familiar warmth and she smiled. This was a moment when Hyejin understood that she loves Yongsun.

***

After debut Hyejin struggled with some haters, she was always overworked. But she truly loved to perform and her fans were always by her side, supporting her and giving her so much love and making her feel more confident day by day. Hyejin will always be thankful to her fans and she really loves them a lot. Without them, her hard work and RBW staff she wouldn’t have become one of the most popular K-Pop solo artist. RBW is an agency that is also new to K-Pop business, but together with Hwasa they are growing and getting praises from other artists. Everyone was fascinated by the singer, her stage presence, her confidence, her iness. Everyone was in love with Hwasa. Hwasa gave her best on stages and then she came back home to Yongsun, to her warm hugs, to being Hyejin who was in love with her roommate, her unnie, her Yongsun. 

“Omo! You are so y Hyejin! You rocked this stage like you always do! Omo!” Yongsun was so excited while watching Hwasa’s performance on the screen while the singer was watching her. Hyejin smiled shyly and took Yongsun’s hand. “What about going out today later for a nice meal? My threat.” The younger girl always wanted to take Yongsun for a nice meal in order to thank her for her support and everything she did for Hyejin, but because of how busy she always was, she couldn’t afford it. But today she had a day off and hoped to spent it with Yongsun. 

“Sorry, I cant. I already promised Moonbyul that I will go to that photography exhibition with her.” The blonde sadly potted and then added “But maybe you would like to join us?” She looked with her caring puppy eyes at Hyejin. “No it’s okay. I don’t want to be your third wheel again.” Hyejin winked at Yongsun and smirked. Then she felt a little slap on her hand and heard annoyed voice of Yongsun’s: “Stop with that face! We just gonna watch some photos and have a nice conversation like normal people do.” Hyejin laughed: “Yeah, yeah. I got it.” Then she looked at the blonde, her cheeks were blushing and she had a shy smile on her face. Yongsun likes Moonbyul. And Hyejin was happy for her unnie. But also she wishes it was her and not Moonbyul. She really loves being a singer, being Hwasa. But sometimes she really wishes that she has just stayed being Hyejin all the time. Then she would have given her everything to Yongsun. They could spend so much more time together, share more hugs, share more conversations and little smiles. But Hyejin made her decision, she decided to become Hwasa. We always have to give something up in order to achieve our dream. So all what Hyejin can do now is to be supporting and happy for her unnie. And Yongsun is happy with Moonbyul. 

Moonbyul. Yongsun met her at the cafe where she works. Moonbyul was a young photographer and on that day when they first met, Yongsun was dead tired. She spilled some coffee on Moonbyul and she apologized but the young photographer was so annoyed and she kept on whining about her ruined white shirt. And Yongsun is always kind and nice to her customers but on that day she wasn’t in the mood to be kind, so she talked back, saying that she is just a human, she makes mistakes like everyone else and that Moonbyul was being really materialistic. The dirty shirt isn’t the end of the world. But the young photographer was pretty stubborn and she argued back and this is how they met for the first time. Then Moonbyul became a regular visitor of that cafe and they kept on having little fights and then one day Moonbyul asked Yongsun out and then they started dating. Yongsun was happy, even though they had those little fights, she liked spending time with Moonbyul. Moonbyul was cute and greasy, everyday the young photographer kept on coming to the cafe where Yongsun worked and she has been waiting for her to finish her work. Then she always like a real gentlewoman walked her home. She was taking a lot of photos of the blonde and telling her that she was her muse. But still sometimes Yongsun felt like something was off.  But she ignored it. She was happy, right? 

The older girl was watching another performance of Hwasa when she heard Moonbyul’s voice: “So you are a fan of y fatal Hwasa?” She had that adorable smirk on her face. “I am her number one fan.” Yongsun answered confidently. “Woah the confidence! Do you like her more than me?” Moonbyul said jokingly and raised her eyebrow, expecting her girlfriend to say that she likes Moonbyul more than Hwasa and was surprised with the answer: “Yes. I like her more than you. I...I love her.” The young photographer was taken aback but then Yongsun told her about her relationship with Hwasa and explained that they are close friends. Firstly Moonbyul thought that Yongsun was joking and acting like a crazy fan. But after two days she met Hwasa for real. The singer looked and acted so differently in comparison how she acted on stage and in interviews. Hyejin. Ahn Hyejin is her real name and she is a young shy, kind and cute girl that likes to sing and is a friend of Yongsun.

Once three of them were drinking wine together on the roof where Yongsun and Hyejin lived. Yongsun was already drunk, so Hyejin helped her unnie to stand up and then she lead her in the blonde’s room, where she helped her to lay down on the bed. Then she came back to the living room, where Moonbyul was finishing another glass of wine. The atmosphere was awkward, the young photographer was about to say that it is time for her to leave and wish the singer a nice sleep, but then Hyejin started to talk: “If you ever hurt Yongsun I will kick your .” The short haired girl was a little bit tipsy but Moonbyul knew that she really meant it. She wanted to say that she will take a good care of Yongsun when Hyejin continued: “You have to take a good care of my unnie. Because I can’t do that well. I wish I could....I am actually quite jealous of you. You are lucky. So please take a good care of her and make her happy.“ The singer looked at Moonbyul and her eyes were so sad. Moonbyul only nodded. This was a moment when Moonbyul understood that Hyejin is in love with Yongsun.

***

One night Yongsun couldn’t sleep. Moonbyul was away for the week, she was holding her first photography exhibition in Europe. The young photographer wanted to take Yongsun with her too, but the older girl refused, promising that she will go next time. She was proud of Moonbyul and she also had a chance to be a part of her first photography exhibition in Seoul. Moonbyul is really talented, she remembers looking at the photos of herself at the exhibition and she couldn’t recognized herself. The way Moonbyul sees Yongsun is beautiful, she wishes she could see herself in that way too. Hyejin still didn’t come home and the blonde even wasn’t sure if the singer will come back home this night. She is always so busy and works so hard. Yongsun was proud of her friend, she deserves all the fame and recognization. She broke Korean standards of the beauty, she keeps on spreading self-love and reminding people to be kind. And her voice, her voice can melt your heart. Hyejin sang with her heart and her heart is so beautiful. Yongsun loves Hyejin’s kind heart. 

That night Yongsun felt so lonely and sad. She started to think about her life and achievements. She was 27 years old. She still worked in the cafe and couldn’t find a job in her field. In college she studied Korean literature and culture and she enjoyed to be able to get to know more about her country but after graduation she realized that there are so little available jobs that require her degree. Her parents are probably ashamed of having a daughter who works as barista and waitress in the cafe. Her older sister works in UK and they don’t talk so often like they used to. Every day Yongsun has to wake up and to pretend as the world is the most happiest place and she is the most happiest person of this world. She is tired of pretending, of being strong. She is tired of herself. Yongsun felt so small and vulnerable that night, she was overwhelmed with the shame. She started to cry. 

After some time she heard a sound. Hyejin came home. The blonde tried to stop her tears, but she couldn’t. She felt so miserable at that moment, she couldn’t stop ther thoughts that kept on telling her how unworthy she is. “Unnie?” She heard the worried voice of Hyejin. Hyejin. She wanted to stop crying. Hyejin doesn’t have to see her like that. She has to be strong unnie for Hyejin. She has to meet her with a smile and give her a warm hug. Why can’t she stop crying? ”Unnie...” Hyejin voice was so quiet, the blonde barely heard it, then she felt the warm body and two hand hugging her tightly. Yongsun started to cry even more. Hyejin didn’t say anything, she just held her in her arms. Yongsun felt brunette’s warmth, she felt loved.

Yongsun was so thankful for Hyejin not asking her questions and just for simply being here and hugging her. She felt protected, all her bad thoughts were slowly disappearing and she calmed down and stopped her crying. Then all of the sudden she felt two hands cupping her face and she heard the caring voice of the singer: “Unnie, talk to me. Let me help you.” And Yongsun did, she told all about her worries to Hyejin, she let herself to be comforted by the younger singer. Hyejin hugged her again. “You’re so beautiful and kind. I love your bright eyes and your laugh. I love how cute you look when you are focused on reading the book, in those moments I really have the urge to bite your cheeks. I love how you ramble about the books that you read. You look so passionate. And I find it so adorable how offended you look when the movie based on the book doesn’t meet your expectations.” Hyejin was Yongsun’s hair and telling her little things that made her love the older girl more and more day by day. “You are precious to me. You are my inspiration, unnie. And it’s okay to feel sad, but please share some of your burden with me. You always help me and take care of me. So now, let me take care of you.” Yongsun again started to cry and she let Hyejin take care of her. 

Next morning the singer cancelled some of her activities to spent more time with Yongsun. She cooked for her, made her laugh. Always hugged her. They watched movies and had conversations about random things.

“I want to learn boxing.” They were watching another movie, the girls have already finished eating popcorn and Yongsun’s head was laying on Hyejin’s shoulder when she said that. “What?” The singer was surprised. Boxing, all of the sudden her unnie wants to learn boxing. “Why?” She asked another question. “You don’t have a private bodyguard, right? So when I will learn boxing, I can become your private bodyguard.” Hyejin laughed. “Woah unnie! I’m sorry but you’re to small to be a bodyguard.” She felt a little slap on her knee. “Hey! I’m taller you!” The singer laughed again and then she asked another question: “But for real, why boxing?” She was curious. “When I was a kid...” Yongsun started. “...I remember watching a boxing match between the women on TV and the one that won looked so cool. I remember how fascinated I was  that women can box too.” Hyejin smiled, imagining small Yongsun with her chubby cheeks. “So you wished to become a boxer as a kid?” Yongsun chuckled and looked at the brunette. “You can say so, who did you want to become as a kid?” Yongsun thought that Hyejin will say that she wanted to become a singer and she did become one but she was surprised when Hyejin said: “I wanted to become a president.” Yongsun started to laugh. “A president? Omo!” The younger one tried to act like she was offended but hearing Yongsun’s laugh, she started to laugh too. “Ok. So you go study politics and I will learn boxing. And when you become a president, hire me as your bodyguard.” Hyejin giggled listening to the blonde’s crazy idea and she just answered: “Sure.” Then both girls looked at each other and started to laugh. During the days that girls spent together, Yongsun again became happy and gained her confidence back. She really liked spending time with Hyejin, she wished that these days wouldn’t have ended so fast. But not all wishes come true. Hyejin had to go back to being Hwasa. She is having her first Asian tour soon. Moonbyul came back from Europe, bringing Yongsun a lot of presents, hugging her tightly, kissing her lips and saying how much she missed her. And Yongsun was happy to see her girlfriend. But these days that she spent with Hyejin were the days when she felt the most happiest. And that night when the singer comforted her and took her in her arms. That night was the moment when Yongsun understood that Hyejin was in love with her.

———————————————————————————————————————

Yongsun went and sat next to Hyejin and looked at her. They have shared this apartment together for five years. During these five years Hyejin became confident, y, talented,charismatic Hwasa who made everyone fall in love with her. Everyone knew her as Hwasa but Yongsun will always know her as little, kind and strong Hyejin that missed her home and her friends. She was a girl that worked hard for her dream and she did achieve it. Yongsun slowly took Hyejin’s hands, she saw that the singer was trying not to cry. Hyejin rarely cried, she told her once that crying makes her look weak and the blonde told her that crying doesn’t make her weak. Crying is natural, it is hard to control because it is how our body tries to ease our pain. She remembered how she jokingly rapped:

“Crying is underrated, 

Respect my tears, 

MC DUK is created, 

Let me hear some cheers!” 

After she sang this silly verse Hyejin couldn’t stop laughing and even ended up crying.  The end? Yongsun’s heart hurt looking at how emotional and sad Hyejin was. “Hyejin...” She started to talk but suddenly she felt a hand on and then the sound of the kiss. Hyejin just kissed her own hand that was on the Yongsun’s mouth. After that unique kiss the singer still didn’t take the hand away. “I am sorry for not trying. I’m sorry that I let you go so easily. I’m sorry for that silly question. I’m sorry that I couldn’t hold you every night and listen to your worries.  I’m sorry that I have never told you this before but...I love you.” Hyejin felt something wet on her hand, she was crying. Yongsun slowly took Hyejin hand away. She looked at her and whispered: “I love you too.” Hyejin started to cry harder, she didn’t want to be like that, so she tried to look away, but the older girl took Hyejin’s face in hands and looked in her eyes, then she slowly moved closer and kissed Hyejin. It was a simple little kiss on the lips, after the kiss Yongsun whispered again: “I guess this is the end.” 

Then Yongsun stood up, she put her coat on, took her bag and walked away. After a while Hyejin heard the sound of the closing door. The singer started to cry even much more harder, she knew that this day will come and that she should be happy for her unnie. Moonbyul makes her smile and she takes a great care of her and she can give her so much more than Hyejin. But still her heart hurts and the brunette wished she would have asked Yongsun to stay, but it would have been selfish. The singer stopped her crying and calmed down a little bit, she looked around her apartment and it felt lonely without the blonde. Hyejin stood up and walked to the kitchen. She decided to make some green tea for herself, she needed to calm down and to prepare herself for tonight’s performance. When she was about to take her favorite cup, she noticed a little note on the table. She recognized Yongsun’s handwriting and took the note to read.

“Every ending is a new beginning.” These words were written on the little note, that Yongsun left for her before leaving.