I'm sick of everything. Maybe this wasn't the family I wanted, but heck I'm in it. I just want to not care about anyone and everything but I have to. For the sake of my sanity, just leave me be. Please. I beg you. Just. Go. Away. 

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Sorry. I needed to get that out of my system. I never liked my grandmother. She always got what I wanted but other than that she never reallly showed that she cared about me. When I was younger, she told me I was fat and I was already insecure about my appearance at that time. She still buys me clothes and expects me to like them, when she already knows that we have different styles. I feel like a doll. Why do I have to please her?  Cuz she's older and knows more than me? She knows absolutely nothing about me! It's pretty obvious why. Whenever I was at home for the holidays, she was mostly focussed at her work. Even now, when she has retired, she is still working cuz that's all she ever does. She still treats me like a kid and I'm already 18. I hate her so much but I want this to stop. This is just making myself feel miserable every single time it's the holiday season. 

I'm tired. I want to just stop dealing with this. Although, I know this won't get resolved unless I let go the anger and hate in me. Letting go and forgiving is gonna take a while, but life isn't that simple.