Seulgi takes her place on the bed, and Joohyun immediately puts the blanket around her and pulls her arm close. “I’m excited.”

 

“Honestly? I’m a bit nervous.”

 

“Why? It’s just me.”

 

“You don’t know how amazing you are, unnie.” Seulgi thinks before saying out loud, “Anyway, just listen.”

 

Hello Tutorial

 

“Yah… are you just promoting your solo?” Joohyun teases, poking Seulgi’s side.

 

Seulgi sheepishly shakes her head. “Do you remember when we first met?”

 

“Of course! I had just finished in the practice room and was walking back to the dorm when you just tapped me on the shoulder and introduced yourself. You asked me if I wanted to have dinner with you and Yerimie.”

 

“Yeah, and the little demon ended up eating more than the both of us.” Irene laughed at the memory, while Seulgi continues. “I’ve never told you or anyone this, but that wasn’t the first time I saw you or even heard of you. When you arrived at SM, a lot of people were talking about you. Because you were so pretty.”

 

“Seulgi-yaaaaa…” is all Joohyun can say as she tries to hide her face in the blanket, Seulgi trying to pull it back down so she can see her face.

 

“I’m serious! I was so curious about this girl from Daegu. Then one time, I just saw you, waiting in the hallway for your turn in the practice room. Your hair was black, like now, and you were wearing all black. You definitely stood out. You didn’t see me then, but you were by the chairs, reading a book. I swear, I stopped in my tracks because I was so surprised at how beautiful you are.”

 

“Why are you being so nice?”

 

“It’s the truth! Every time in an interview when I say you look good from the side too, that’s what I remember. It helps that you’re pretty from the front too.”

 

“And the back, right?”

 

Seulgi can feel the tips of her ears turn red but promptly ignores Joohyun’s teasing. “Anyway, I wanted to say hi right away. But I was so nervous! So, for the next couple of days, I’d practice what I’d say to you in the mirror.”

 

“I must have looked so stupid. Hi! I’m Seulgi! Hello! Kang Seulgi here! Hi, I’m Seulgi you can call me Seul!” Joohyun bursts out laughing at Seulgi’s reenactment.

 

“Then Yerim caught me one time, and she was so young, but she was already making so much fun of me. That’s why she was there with us, actually. She found me right after my singing lessons and said you just ended yours and was about to head to the dorm. She dragged me across the hallway, pointed at you and literally pushed me to introduce myself.”

 

“Remind me to thank Yerimie then.”

 

“No, don’t. If Sooyoung found out, she’d never let me live it down and right now, I’m hoping Yerim doesn’t even remember.”

 

“You mean our Kim Yerim? If it has something to do with teasing you, I’m sure she remembers.” 

 

Seulgi groans, “You’re probably right.”

 

Joohyun pats the younger girl on the back, leaning closer to Seulgi’s ear and Seulgi swears her ears cannot possibly get any warmer. “Correction, I’m always right.”

 

“Okay, next song!” Joohyun declares before moving her face away from Seulgi’s.

 

Seulgi nods dumbly, Joohyun’s lips close to her ears sending her into a state of shock. “Y-yeah.”

 

I Just

 

“Seulgi-ya, this is a sad song!”

 

“I know, I know. But hear me out.”

 

Seulgi doesn’t know where she’s going, all she knows is that she just needs to move. Get out of the building, get out of the dorm, clear her head. She walks and walks, her thoughts racing and tears threatening to spill out at any moment. Finally, after what may have been fifteen, twenty minutes or even an hour, she stops at one of the local parks.

 

It’s not too late yet in the day, the sun is about to set, the sky turning a myriad of colors. There a couple of kids being herded inside by their parents, some couples cuddling in the corner, and in the middle by the swings, sits a familiar face.

 

“What is she doing here?”

 

Before Seulgi can really think about what she’s doing, her feet move forward towards the swing set. Joohyun has her eyes trained to the sky, so engrossed in her thoughts that she doesn’t even notice that Seulgi has taken the swing beside her.

 

“Joohyun unnie?”

 

Joohyun jumps from her seat but laughs when she realizes it’s only Seulgi.

 

“Seulgi-ya! What are you doing here?”

 

“Just needed to clear my head so I decided to go for a walk. Then I ended up here, lucky for me, you’re here too.”

 

Joohyun gives Seulgi a small smile. They were friends, that Seulgi was sure of. But Seulgi knew there was a wall there. Joohyun was quiet, a lot of trainees were intimidated by her and she didn’t really hang out with a lot of people. They were friendly, sure, but it was only a handful of people that got to really spend time with Joohyun. (Seulgi knows she’s really lucky to be a part of that group.)

 

“What about you?”

 

“I just love the sky. I go here, from time to time, just watching the sunset. Or the sunrise, even.”

 

Seulgi makes a face and Joohyun laughs. “Sunrise? That’s so early.”

 

“It’s a good way to start the day. When I’m feeling overwhelmed… and when I miss my family… sometimes looking at the sky is a great reminder that we’re all together. And that there are things bigger than us, but it’s all right in the end.”

 

Seulgi nods and the older girl looks up at the sky again. Seulgi watches her at first, the brave and beautiful girl she’s so glad she can call a friend. Seulgi’s eyes turn to the sky, trying to see what Joohyun does.

 

They spend the rest of the time in somewhat moderate silence. Joohyun would hum a song at times, and Seulgi would join in. Then, once the sun has finally set and the stars are starting to come out, Joohyun extends her hand from across the swing to Seulgi. “Do you want to go back?”

 

Seulgi reaches for Joohyun’s hand but shakes her head. “A few more minutes?”

 

Joohyun nods and looks up at the now dark sky.

 

“Joohyunnie?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Have you ever felt scared?”

 

Joohyun lets go of their hands to twist the swing and face Seulgi. “I’m scared of many things. Heights… animals… thunder…”

 

Seulgi gives a small smile, “I mean, about debuting.”

 

“All the time.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Of course! I’m 20 already! I feel like I’ve barely begun training. I gave up college for this… I don’t know what to do if I don’t debut. I’m scared constantly, did I make the right choice? Did I get that dance move right? Did I hit that note?”

 

“Then how do you do it? How do you deal with the fear?”

 

Joohyun kicks off from the swing a bit as she thinks. “I try to enjoy the process. If I mess up, I learn. Always learning, always trying to be my best at practice. If I get that dance move wrong, I keep practicing until I get it right. I’m scared that I won’t ever debut, but at the same time, if I don’t give it my all, at the end of the day I won’t have anyone to blame but myself.”

 

“But what if, after all that, you still won’t debut?”

 

“Hmm… I’ve thought about that. I’ll most probably cry for a bit, go back to Daegu for a month or so, but I know myself better than that. I’ll pick myself up, find another way, or I don’t know maybe it’s the universe’s way of telling me that I belong as an announcer. Who knows?” Joohyun continues, her eyes never leaving Seulgi, though the younger girl has taken great interest in the dirt below. “There’s no way of knowing what will happen. But I chose this path, and I continue to choose it every day.”

 

“Unnie… you’re so wise.”

 

“Maybe it’s the age talking.”

 

Seulgi grins, “You said that, not me!”

 

Joohyun smiles back, but then she turns serious. “What’s wrong, Seulgi? Why are you asking?”

 

“It’s nothing. Just curious.”

 

Joohyun jumps off her swing and gently puts a hand on Seulgi’s shoulder. “Hey, you can tell me anything, you know that right? I’m here for you. Are you okay?”

 

‘Are you okay?’ That’s all it takes for all of the tears that Seulgi’s bottled up to start flowing. Seulgi cries and cries and Joohyun pulls her off the swing and into her arms. “Shh, it’s okay, Seulgi-ya. It’s okay.”

 

They move to a bench, and thankfully, everyone else in the park has left. Seulgi is still wrapped in the smaller girl’s arms, the tears flowing, most probably drenching her shirt. After what seems like hours but what is most probably only a couple of minutes, the tears start to dry and Seulgi’s breathing slowly returns to normal.

 

“S-sorry.”

 

“Hey, don’t apologize. It’s okay.” Joohyun continues to rub Seulgi’s back.

 

“I should explain.”

 

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

 

“No, I want to. I trust you, unnie.” Seulgi leans into Joohyun. “I came back from school today and went to the dorm. There was another empty bed. This is the third one in two months! And it hurts because I lost another friend. And it feels too soon and too sudden. And you know what? They asked me. They asked me to go with them, to leave.”

 

“What did you say?”

 

“I said no. I wanted to stay. And now I feel like an idiot because they’re gone and I’m still here, still training. What if I’m doing this for nothing? What if they’re right? All my friends are gone. Maybe I should have just left with them.”

 

The tears start to flow again.

 

“Seulgi-ya…” Joohyun wipes the tears on Seulgi’s face with the sleeve of her shirt, then puts her hands firmly on Seulgi’s shoulders. “You’re not alone, you have friends. You have me. We’ll work hard together. We’ll practice as hard as we can. Okay?”

 

Seulgi sniffles and Joohyun continues. “You made the right choice, staying. I’m sure of it. You’re so talented. Your voice is amazing and when you dance, I’m always at a loss for words. And you’re so beautiful and charming, you’d make the perfect idol. This company would be stupid if they didn’t debut you.”

 

“But what if-“

 

Joohyun shakes her head. “No, there’s no what ifs. I’m sure that you’re the perfect idol. We just have to work hard to make sure it comes true, okay? We’ll work hard every day. We’ll train every day. Then one day, I promise you, we’ll get on that stage and debut together.”

 

“If-”, Joohyun glares at Seulgi’s words. “If we don’t?”

 

“If in the minuscule chance we don’t debut... We’ll figure that out also. Together. Okay?”

 

Seulgi squeezes Joohyun tightly. “Thank you, Joohyun-unnie. Don’t leave me.”

 

“I won’t.”

 

“We think alike then.” Joohyun smiles. “I had to drag manager-unnie with me all the way to that same spot. I’m glad it still looks the same. So many things have changed in our life… but that swing set, it’s still there.”

 

“We should go back one time. Just you and me. Joohyunnie, I need you to know that when I saw the photo that you gave me… I was so happy because that moment was so important for me and I was so glad it stuck with you too. Because if not for you, that night, on that swing… I don’t know if we’d even be here tonight.”

 

“I’m glad you stayed, Seulgi. Really really glad.”

 

Seulgi gives Joohyun her signature eyesmile, “Me too, unnie.”

 

Be Natural

 

The third song starts playing and no words are exchanged. Joohyun’s head is gently resting on Seulgi’s shoulder as Seungwan’s voice fills the room. Nothing needs to be said. It was their first project together, their first dance, just the two of them. Sure, it was Seungwan’s voice they were hearing, but this song has always felt like it was theirs.

 

“Who would have thought we’d end up here. Performing on chairs in a dark studio, to actually performing it on stage in front of thousands as Red Velvet… then with Yerim too.”

 

“You know, when we first started… I was so scared I’d fall off the chair.” Seulgi admits.

 

“Not me.”

 

“You were never scared?”

 

“I mean, I was never scared that you’d fall. You and I practiced non-stop! I knew we’d do well.”

 

“You always have so much faith in me, unnie.”

 

“Always have, always will.”

 

Seulgi laughs, “When we performed this as Red Velvet, I remember that I kept hoping you would be the one doing the rap. I bet it would look so cool. You’d dominate everyone’s hearts.”

 

“You dummy, if I was rapping, I wouldn’t be on the chair dancing with you.”

 

Seulgi squeezes Joohyun’s arm. “You’re right, never mind. Taeyong can take it then.”

 

“This is still my favorite dance. I think it always will be.”

 

Eyes Locked, Hands Locked

 

Joohyun starts laughing as the song begins to play.

 

“Yah! Why are you laughing?”

 

“I bet you put this song in here because of the skinship.”

 

“You know me too well.”

 

“Of course, I do!” Joohyun is still laughing. “Like you said, it’s been 10 years. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the first time I wrapped my arm around yours, you literally froze! I thought I broke you!”

 

“I wasn’t used to it, okay!”

 

“There were so many people around us too at that time. I’m sure Yerim was laughing at your expression.”

 

“When is she not laughing at me?”

 

“But now, you’re okay with it, right?”

 

Seulgi puts her head on Joohyun’s shoulder and laces their arms together. “Hmm… What do you think?”

 

Dear Diary

 

“Speaking of Yerim… are you promoting her now?”

 

“Don’t tell her I put her song here, she’ll never let me live it down. But I know that we’ve been friends for 10 years, and a lot of that has been time spent with Yerim. I think she’s an important part of our relationship, you know? But I think it’s because she’s younger that it’s not the same as you and me… but Yerim has always been like our little sister.”

 

“More like our demon child.”

 

“Our child?”

 

“You were the one that said you raised her!”

 

“You’ll never let me live that down, huh?” Seulgi sighs dramatically.

 

“As the person that fed her and ironed her clothes, no.” Joohyun replies, shoving Seulgi. “But you can be the dad!”

 

“I don’t want to be the dad.”

 

“Well, too late. It’s been decided.”

 

Joohyun takes out a box from the company’s refrigerator and gently arranges the candles on top of the pink and purple cake.

 

“Hurry, unnie!”

 

“Okay, okay, lead the way!”

 

Joohyun follows Seulgi to one of the training rooms but doesn’t expect to hear a rhythm of tiny pounding on the door, “LET ME OUT! SEULGI-UNNIE!! JOHNNY-OPPA, LET ME OUT!!”

 

Johnny is on the floor, trying his best to hold in his laughter.

 

“YAH! Kang Seulgi and Seo John. Did you lock Yerim in the training room?!”

 

“What?! You said to keep her busy!” The teenager defends.   

 

“This isn’t what I meant!”

 

“Oh my god, I think she’s starting to cry!” Seulgi says with her ear pressed against the door.

 

“Then hurry!”

 

Seulgi lights the candles, while Johnny gets the key out to unlock the door.

 

“I’m going to murder both of you later,” Joohyun huffs. “Okay, 1, 2, 3!”

 

The door opens and the tiny Kim Yerim falls out, her body still pressed against the door. The trio shouts, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YERIMIE!”

 

Yerim stops crying immediately, a look of bewilderment across her face, followed by pure joy as she stares at the huge cake as big as her face and topped with a unicorn. As soon as they stopped singing, Yerim blows out the candles and wraps her tiny arms around Joohyun. “Thank you, unnie!”

 

“Hey! What about us?” Seulgi asks.

 

“You locked me in there!” Yerim shouts.

 

“It was Johnny’s idea!”

 

“You’re the one who found the key!” Johnny defends, his arms crossed.

 

“Oh my god, children stop fighting! Now, come on, let’s just eat cake okay?”

 

The three trainees nod and follow Joohyun into the room.

 

“And Yerim-ah, don’t be mad at Seulgi. We went shopping and bought you a gift. Seulgi picked it out.”

 

“You did??” Yerim jumps as she gives Seulgi a hug. “Thank you, Seulgi-unnie.”

 

“What? I still don’t get a hug?”

 

Yerim sticks her tongue out the older boy, “No.”

 

“Seulgi-unnie! Can we go to Han River today?”

 

“All of the sudden?”

 

“Pleaaaaase. Joohyunnie said she’ll teach me how to ride a bike and she told me to ask you to come along.”

 

“She did?”

 

“Yup! Sooooooo, will you come with us?”

 

Yerim is tugging on Seulgi’s sleeve, and even if she is technically a teenager already, she knows that Seulgi is putty in her hands. “Okay, fine.”

 

“GREAT! We’ll meet you downstairs in 30 minutes!”

 

It’s the beginning of spring, and the cooler air means less bikers around the river. Seulgi watches as Joohyun holds onto the bike as Yerim tries to gain confidence in her balance.

 

“Don’t let go!”

 

“You’ll be fine!”

 

“Unnie, don’t let go!!”

 

“Don’t worry, Yerimie. I’ll be right beside you the whole time. I promise.”

 

With that, Joohyun lets go of Yerim. The younger girl starts pedaling non-stop to keep her balance and true to her word, Joohyun runs beside Yerim until she decides to hit the brakes.

 

“I DID IT! I DID IT! SEULGI UNNIE, DID YOU SEE THAT?!”

 

“YEAH! GREAT JOB, YERIM-AH!!”

 

Yerim turns around and bikes back to Seulgi, Joohyun walking behind her.

 

“I can’t believe you ran beside her all the way.”

 

Joohyun shrugs. “Well, I promised.”

 

Once Yerim is confident enough in her newly acquired biking skills, Joohyun and Seulgi take a tandem bike and ride down Han River with Yerim excitedly biking beside them.

 

“Can we get some dinner?”

 

“Sure, Seulgi will pay.”

 

“WHAT?!”

 

“Hey, I taught her how to bike. You can do this for her.”

 

“Fine, fine.”

 

“YAY!” Yerim jumps, crushing Seulgi into a hug and then Joohyun. “You guys are the best! Thank you, thank you!”

 

“She’s cute sometimes.” Joohyun says as she watches Yerim skip ahead towards the restaurant.

 

“No, don’t say that. The more you think she’s cute, the more she’ll get under your skin and manipulate you.”

 

Joohyun rolls her eyes, “Always so dramatic, Seul.”

 

“MOM! DAD! HURRY UP!” Yerim shouts after them.

 

 

“Yerimie? Are you okay?”

 

The younger girl responds with a grown.

 

“Okay, I’ll take that as a no.” Seulgi says as she makes her way towards Yerim’s bed. The younger girl turns around to face her. “You’re so warm. Let me go get the medicine and your food.”

 

“Did you cook it? If you did, I might get worse.”

 

Seulgi glares at her and Yerim tries to give one of her sheepish smiles back, “You’re lucky you’re sick. I would’ve pushed you off the bed. And no, Joohyun-unnie made you some soup.”

 

“Okay good. Joohyun-unnie is a good cook unlike you. Can you stay with me for a while though?”

 

“Of course, Yerim-ah.”

 

Joohyun quietly enters the room with a tray of soup ready for the sick girl, when she suddenly stops and smiles at the sight before her. Seulgi is leaning against the wall, watching some video on her phone video while Yerim is fast asleep hugging the older girl tightly by the waist.

 

“I think she’s drooling on you.”

 

“She’s definitely drooling on me. I can feel a wet spot on my shirt.” Seulgi slowly sits up, gently waking up the sick girl. “Okay, time to eat, Yerim-ah.”

 

Yerim blinks awake, slowly allowing Seulgi to help her sit up. The three of them sit on Yerim’s bed, watching videos on Seulgi’s phone until she finishes her food and takes her medicine.

 

Joohyun pulls the blanket up to Yerim’s body. “Try to go back to sleep, okay? Feel better.”

 

Yerim yawns. “Love you guys.”

 

“Love you too.” As they exit the room, Seulgi smiles, “She’s really an angel when she’s sick.”

 

“And when she’s asleep. Okay, now you take a shower before you get sick too. I’ll ask Seungwan to look after Yerim.”

 

“Oh, by the way, I want you to see the cover.” Seulgi reaches over and hands Joohyun the sleeve of the record. It was a sketch of her and Seulgi, the sketch that they attempted to do during their Christmas VLIVE all those months ago.

 

“Seulgi-ya, this is beautiful!”

 

“I finally finished it.”

 

“You fixed my work too.”

 

“Just a little bit.” Seulgi smiles.

 

“You’re amazing, Seulgi-ya.”

 

Seulgi blushes at the compliment but says nothing in response. Instead, she stands up to flip the vinyl over and takes a seat again beside Joohyun.

 

“How many more songs left?”

 

Seulgi can feel her heart start to race, because the closer they are to the end, the closer Seulgi is at confessing everything to Joohyun. “Five more.”

 

Seulgi remembers Seungwan’s advice and her mind chants, “Don’t you wait no more, don’t you wait no more, don’t you wait no more.” until the next song starts playing.