Sana wasn’t used to being alone. Not ever since Momo left her alone. But she never said it out loud. Sure it was hurt. But Sana has already promised to Momo not to cry. For whatever it was, Sana couldn’t bring herself to cry. Because it hurt both of them. Their broke up was something that inevitable and they couldn’t do anything to it. Both of them knew. It could hurt more if they didn’t stop now.

It was just a month ago the last time she saw Momo leaving their apartment. And now it was her alone. Left wandering alone inside the empty galaxy that she called love. She wished she could replay the memories of her and Momo again. Wishing she had time machine so she could fix the faults, the mistakes that they both did. It hurt her so much that it was turning to unbearable.

The scar was too deep that it scared and pained Sana the most. She wanted to be free, but as if there’s an invisible chain bound her, Sana couldn’t do that. The memories were too painful for her to handle but at the same time it was her happiness. And she was always afraid. She was afraid of drowning inside when she couldn’t even hold herself anymore.

Sana wanted to forget everything. She tried. Drugs, alcohols, cigarettes. Everything. She did everything that could help her numb every feelings that she had. Clogging her heart and choking her breath out of her lungs. Parties, dances, hooks up. Not even could help her. Not even those addictive things could help her forget. Cause in the end, it was always her. It was Momo.

It was intoxicating. The way bodies moved against hers. She wasn’t in her mood that night. Face expression showed it all. She didn’t want to do anything. But yet, she needed to forget. She always did this and she wanted to cry. She wanted to let it all out. She was too fed up to keep everything by herself. Without thinking twice, she went to the bar and sat at the seat prepared at the counter.

“Give me the strongest one.” Sana said as she sat on the stool.

People around her were surprised but it didn’t change her mind because she knew. Only that would make her get used to the feeling of being someone that Momo loved before. That was why she needed it. “Please, just gave me what I want. I needed to numb my feelings.” She pleaded. The bartender looked at her in worry but he nodded his head anyway.

Sana smiled painfully as the bartender served her the drink that she wanted om the shape of a bottle of a whiskey. Without any hesitation, she opened the cap and drank from the bottle. It burnt and the effect kicked in immediately. She wasn’t the type that could handle liquor nor the one with the highest alcohol tolerance. Which was why she was sure she was going to have a severe headache tomorrow.

“Gosh, Sana you need to stop drinking you know.”

Despite her condition, she could still hear Momo’s words echoing in her ears. Her tears starting to form on the corner of her eyes. Only waiting until she blinked. But she never let it happened. Instead, she drank again. Hoping that it would disappear. She drank, drank, and drank until it was already halfway of the bottle. And Sana was no longer sober to think rationally.

She almost fainted if only there were no strong arms enveloped her body into a warm hugs. Sana’s eyes were droopy but then before she could lose her consciousness, she could faintly see the face of the one that going to save her from her severe state. It was a girl and her voice was too soft for much her likings. She looked familiar but she couldn’t pinpoint who. “It’s okay. I’m going to take care of her.” It was the last thing she heard before she passed out.

Sana woke up due to the heat pooling up in the pit of her stomach. As if she had to let something out, she slowly sat up and leaned her head on the headboard of the bed. Her head was too heavy to move and it was hard to open her eyes. Because whenever she did that, her headache will become more severe than the previous one. She groaned because of the pain.

When she turned around, she realized that there were 2 hangover pills and a glass of water. Without thinking any further she just drink it down until the pain reduced a little bit. She didn’t realize where she was until her mind got a little bit clear. She wasn’t wearing last night’s dress. Instead she was wearing a pair of navy silk pajamas that she owned. Now it was weird. She didn’t remember on going home by her own.

Just when she was about to scream, she caught a whiff of freshly cooked dishes from the kitchen. Her heart began to pound harshly inside her ribcage. It was so painful to get her hope high. But she didn’t want to dwell with it, so she followed her heart. She got out from her rooms and headed toward her kitchen downstairs.

But what she saw was different from what she was imagining. It wasn’t her because she wasn’t prepared if she was going to be heartbroken again. Rather, it was a brown long haired girl. “Mina?” Sana softly called from behind. She was wearing an oversized black hoody and a sweatpants. She looked so beautiful like that. It was Myoui Mina. The girl that was once her underclassmen in college. But she graduated and Mina was in her last year if she wasn’t wrong.

“I see that you’ve woken up earlier than I predicted. Did your head hurt?” Mina softly asked as she moved the dirty pan to the dishwasher. Sana couldn’t say anything since she was too speechless to see her there.

It’s been more than 2 years since the last time she saw Mina and she was surprised. She thought she would never met the girl again. “Have a seat, Sana. I just need to set this up and it’s done and you can eat.” Mina gently said as she ushered the girl to go to the dining room. Sana just did what Mina said without saying anything since she was too hungry to complain anything.

It was always awkward between Mina and Sana. Both of them met because of Momo when both Momo and Sana were still dating. Mina was always the one to stick with Sana even though they were so different from each other. Sana cared for Mina as if she were her own sister. The perk of being an only child in her family. But there were something that Sana never knew about the younger girl.

“Why don’t you eat? Aren’t you hungry?” Mina asked gently as she looked up at Sana from her own plate. Sana was tempted to ask, but somehow the courage and confidence disappeared the moment Mina looked at her with those gentle orbs.

Her heart beat tenderly when she saw Mina smiled. It was different from what she had from Momo but she never say she didn’t like this feelings. “Can I ask?” Sana asked causally. But Mina gave her the look. A silent agreement. It was always like that. She could understand Mina and Mina could understand her.

“Why are you here, Mina?” Sana asked. Her eyes never met Mina’s curious one. Her fingers starting to fiddle with the hem of her shirt. She was somehow nervous about the answer coming from the younger girl’s mouth.

“Are you asking me or the table? I’m not down there if you were asking me.” Mina asked while teasing the older girl. Sana looked up immediately as she heard the teasing. She let out her ultimate weapon that she always used against both her and Momo. But mentioning Momo’s name wasn’t as difficult and hurt as before. It was as funny as it was. Whenever she was with Mina, she couldn’t feel anything other than calm and happiness.

If only Sana looked at Mina closely then she could see the blush that starting to form on Mina’s cheeks. But she couldn’t see it. And Mina was too desperate for Sana to see it.

“I was there, you know. At the bar. Looking at you so broken and desperate. It was so heartbroken to see you like that.” Mina said with her voice shaking. As if she was holding her own tears. And she did. Sana was surprised when Mina answered her. So she happened to know.

Mina stopped everything she was doing and looked at Sana as if she was the only thing that Mina could worshipped in her life. Mostly that was the truth but it was something else Sana was something else in her life and she couldn’t say more.

“Was it hard to let her go and just be happy with someone else who loved you more?” Mina asked with tears flowed down. She didn’t mean it to let out but she couldn’t endure it anymore. She too wanted to let it out. In front of Sana. The girl that she loved.

“As if there’s someone that would love me the same. It wasn’t as easy like what you said, Mina-yah.” Sana bitterly answered. And Mina curled her fingers into fist, gripping onto the fabric of her sweatpants so tight as if her life was depended on it.

“Why can you say it as easy as that? Am I not enough for you?” Mina finally asked.

Sana looked at Mina with her eyes widen from the question that the younger girl asked. It was so unexpected. And she wanted to hear it again, to confirm her hearings. “Am I not enough for you, Sana? Is it always Hirai Momo that you wanted? Won’t you please let other people try to win your heart? At least temporary if you didn’t want it?” Mina frustrated at the fact that Sana never let other people in to her life. She never let other people try to win her heart again. As if it was frozen all along.

“Why can’t you see that I’m the one who understand you? Being here all alone so why can’t you see? See my efforts in trying to court you, but you never turn to see me. The girl that patiently waited for you for 3 years long!”

Sana never expected that Mina would say that. But it made her heart warm. Her heart started to thump again. The similar rhythm that she used to have when she was with Momo, but this time it was much slower and tender. It was soft. And it was calming. Finally after a while, Sana managed to let out a smile.

“Why didn’t you tell me that beforehand? I could’ve returned your feelings long time ago.” Sana said.

Mina looked up and she looked surprised. Sana cocked out a smile and her eyes curved out into a crescent moon. “Try to melt my heart first. Then I’ll decide if you should court me or not.” Sana said again.

“It’s not fair, you know. You are the one that supposed to do it. But it’s okay. I just needed you to remember that you’re loved. I love you, Sana. Always. There wasn’t a time I didn’t love you.” Mina confessed.

Sana smiled as her heart finally warmed up. Maybe… maybe Mina was the one that she was waiting for. Maybe Mina was the one that she wanted after Momo. Maybe Mina was right. She was loved from the very beginning.