Song Nari :

I’m not his type, not really I don’t think. Not until I’m sitting with my group. Minding my business, when they walk by. We stand and bow to the sunbaenims from the 3’rd generation. Being the fourth generation I knew them as BTS. I was a hard stan of them, but with my debut and busy schedule. I had no time for them. That was the whole reason I signed with Big Hit. Manager PD saw raw talent in me, a pretty face and a vibe nobody could have like me.

I had that YG flavor, that JYP cuteness, and that Big Hit face. I was Cleo. I was that sassy/sweet/hot flavor, everyone, today liked. I stayed up all night making new songs, adoring my fans, even the toxic ones. It was tiring. I had an especially y face today. Not happy with fake fans calling me fat, because I was more muscular than the rest. My thighs were pure muscle, my arms were skinny, my ribs were completely visible. I was teeny tini, the little American who probably had diabetes. Honestly.

I can’t recall one idol not ask me why I was so thin. It was sick. Bang PD begging me to eat, I did! I just worked it off. I didn’t have time to have all the hate comments. I was built differently than most girls. My shoulders were broad. I can’t help that.

I turn twenty-one in a few weeks, studying dance and rap all my teen years. I honestly didn’t want to be like this. I wanted to be free with myself, I wanted to love myself. It was hard, looking down at my twig of a body and seeing a log. Feeling embarrassed without makeup.

He changed that.

 

My ears rung, bells chimed in my ears. High pitched, low pitched, long rings, short buzzes. It hurt. I then evidently fell into my member’s arms. “CLEO!” They shouted. I held my ears trying to get rid of the ringing. It was coming from inside my head. “Jungkook? Jimin!” Shouted the sunbaenims. “Call an ambulance!” Mel screamed. Jeehee apologized in a frantic form. I saw our security rush over. It was only three months after our debut and I’m already ruining our careers.

I saw one of the members hunched over like I was. Another sitting covering his ears. It wasn’t soft in my ears. Jimin was crouched, my bias looked pained covering his ears. My vision disappeared.

 

“Well, that went from 0-100 real quick,” Jimmie said. As we sat in the hospital while the press was pressing against the glass of my room after Jeehee did a v-live walking from the parking lot to my room. She didn’t mean to but now everyone knows where I am.

“I know,” I groaned. “Nari, what happened?” Jimmie asked me. I looked at our mekene and sighed. “I don’t know,” I answered truthfully. She shook her head. “It can’t be just an accident that you, Jimin, and Jungkook sunbaenim collapsed in pain almost at the same time,” She questioned leaning back arms crossed. I shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said picking at the scratchy hospital gown. My members being the only ones in the room, she leaned forward despite the beating on the door and the roar of security.

“Tell us we won’t be upset, we already had a brief chat with them,” Mel said smoothing her thumb over my hand. “Well, I heard these really loud bells. Why hurt, like when you put earbuds in on full blast and don’t turn it down,” I explained. They nodded for me to go on. “It was odd, really loud and painful,”

They nodded. “He said the same thing,” Jeehee said looking into Mel’s eyes. They contemplated. “When you get out tomorrow we have one week before we meet with the rest of Big Hit’s groups. Including TXT and BTS,” Jimmie looked at my face for a reaction. I flopped my head to the side. “Of course,” I sighed. She laughed at me. The nurse flung open the door slamming it closed. She was panting and looked like she survived a war.

“Sorry, visiting hours is over. They begin tomorrow at noon,” She said sweetly. My members walked out. I sighed. “Great, now I haft to face them with henna of their names on my body…” I cried. I was referring to the black marks on my body randomly. I had the henna done for our concert in a few weeks, I had it just re-applied.

I had Namjoon on my forearm and Jin on the other. Suga on my right middle finger, and J-Hope on my wrist like a bracelet. Jimin was on my waistline, V on the inside of my right thigh and Jungkook higher up on the outside of the same thigh. Just under my neck on the back were the ARMY and BTS wings logo. I felt like a fool halfling to meet them with them on me. It was going to be a fun night that’s for sure.

I closed my eyes as the nurse drew blood, not realizing the shock all over her face and drifting into dreamland.

 

When I woke up, Bang PD was there. “Aye mate,” I said with my heavy morning Australian accent. My voice was gruff and felt like sandpaper. My manager brought in stylists. “You’re going to walk out of here powerful and badass as if nobody can touch you.” He said holding my hand. “You are powerful, don’t let them get to you,” He cooed. I smiled sadly at him. They began by putting on my clothes and makeup.

I finished buttoning my jeans when there was a knock at the door. I pulled up the legging waistband and told them to come in. I was met face to face with Namjoon. I reflexively covered my already covered henna of his name. He raised an eyebrow. “Hello,” He said and walked in, sitting on the doctor’s bed.

“Hello,” I replied with my stupid thick Australian accent. He smiled. “I came to say sorry on Jungkook’s part, he feels bad,” He said with a sweet face. I giggled. “He shouldn’t it was an odd moment. “Do you want to walk out with me? My manager wants me to walk out alone and face the press,” I sheepishly asked. “I don’t see any problem we are from the same company,” He said. “If you don’t mind Jimin and Yoongi Hyung coming along,” He asked politely. “Sure,” I said and put on my shades, laced up my booties, and walked out my door. “Resting face,” I told myself, putting on a y mean look.

RM was right by my side. It took a lot of will not to freak out. I see Yoongi and Jimin in the waiting room. “Do you have money for snacks?” Yoongi asked RM. I pulled two chip bags out of my mini backpack. “Here,” I said before stuffing a hand over Jimin’s name. All attention was then drawn to my right hand, I quickly hid the ‘Suga’ henna under the jean fabric.

Eyebrows shot up. “Was that my name?” Yoongi asked. I shyly nodded. He smiled. “ARMY?” He asked. I nodded. “Kim Namjoon, Kim Sokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook, B.T.S,” I fan chanted. They looked happy. “How long were you an ARMY?” Jimin asked. I pulled my hand up. “Since No More Dream,” I smiled happily. Eyebrows rose even higher. “How old were you?” Yoongi asked. “Seven,” I replied dryly. “I was raised in America don’t judge,” I playfully scolded.

“What’s your favorite song from back then?” Yoongi asked. Jimin’s eyes landed on the henna on my waist. I tugged on my cropped sweatshirt to cover it. “Um, that’s hard…. It’s between ‘We are bulletproof pt. 1’, Second Grade, and War of Hormone,” I giggled. Yoongi appraised my answer. “What about from around the wing’s era?” Jimin asked. I turned to him and looked him dead in the eye. “Lie, and Euphoria,” I smirked.

“Let’s roll,” I said in English/Australian accent. I pulled my shades on, letting my soft curls sway in their high ponytail. I walked with a sassy sway. I was attacked with flashing cameras, and people bellowing questions at me. The boys behind me, almost getting trampled by fans and reporters. I calmly slipped behind them and ushered them on through the crowd. “JIMIN OPPA!” Screeched a girl trying to get to him. I blocked her, gently pushing her back. “Personal space please,” I asked of her.

She hit me. “Oppa!” She screamed at me. I gently held her back. “He’s not in the mood to talk,” I said over the crowd. We made our way through the crowd. I saw a child crying, the boy looked lost. He held a teddy bear. As we neared him, I smiled and bent down to him. “Hey, are you alright?” I asked sweetly. He shook his head. “Omma!” (Mom) He cried.

I took him under the arms and began singing a sweet melody to him. “We will find your omma, yes, yes omma. Were are you?” I sang over and over, slowly walking through the crowd. He whined in my ear. We walked to the limo. They got in, I closed the door. I was instantly cornered with questions. My back to them as I shielded the child. He cried twice as hard.

“Please the child…” I quietly pleaded. He began wailing. I shushed him and bounced him on my hip. “OMMA!” (Mom) He cried. I his back silently. “My child! Let me through!” A woman shrieked. I slowly made my way to the woman. She was in tears. “My baby!” She cried as I placed the kid in her arms. He seemed really happy to be back with his mom. She held out cash to me. “Thank you, I was so scared!” She cried. I shook my head reaching into my pocket. Pulling out a 500,000 dollar note, folding it into her grasp. “Get him a toy, no need to thank me,” I smiled.

Turning and walking into the mob of cameras. I rushed and opened the door shoving in. I slammed the door and told the driver to step on it. “You didn’t halve to do that,” Namjoon said. I leaned into the seat and sighed. Deciding I didn’t need to answer I drifted off.

I was nudged awake.

I grunted.

“You talk in your sleep,” Yoongi grumbled. I slapped a hand over my mouth. Jimin giggled at me. I looked around wide-eyed. “What did I say?” I panicked. Namjoon tried not to snort. “You were talking about Jungkoook-shi,” Jimin smiled. I smacked my forehead. “Oh man, was it bad?” I grumbled. “Depends on what you call bad,” Namjoon reasoned. Jimin throwing himself in different directions while laughing uncontrollably.

“You know what, I don’t want to know,” I sighed. Time swept by, Jimin’s laughter dissipating. “We’re here, are you coming?” I asked, hand on the door handle. “Well, yeah te rest of the members are there preparing for the joined filming process,” Yoongi said slipping over to the door. My breath hitched. “Manager needs to stop doing stuff without me knowing. This is ridiculous,” I groaned.

They laughed at me. I stood and unlocked the door, dashing inside. My members rushed me. “Clothes upstairs,” Jimmie said pushing me to the stairs. “Do your hair,” Mel said getting me to the stairs. “We can’t explain now, gogogo,” Jeehee rushed me.

I ran upstairs. Id my members were rushing me, I hella needed to get it together now. They never freaked about anything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good god, this was a death trap. I trashed the belt after fighting too hard with it. I braided my hair messily before swinging on some bright white sneakers. I rushed down the stairs. Faces turned. I didn’t care that my henna was showing anymore. I greeted them nicely. “Aneyohasayo Song Nari imnida,” (Hi, I’m song Nari)

They smiled. “Bang-Tan Hello we are BTS,” They said in unison. My eyes flickered to Jungkook. He said the same thing I did, which means he did felt the same as me. Can he feel my pulse racing like how I can feel it racing off him?

Questions raced through my head as I questioned my entire life. One thing was for sure, I was going to get Jungkook alone and ask him every question in my head. I was so distracted looking him up and down when my manager put his arm around my shoulder I jumped. “Oh, you scared me!” I said, hand over my heart. He chuckled eyes flicking over to Jungkook, he noticed us staring each other down. Shoot.

“I have some big news for you,” He announced. My brain swelled with the amount of information he announced next, my heart pounding in my ears.

“Fearless, you’ve been begging me to go on a tour. Bangtan has been begging me to go on a vacation tour. My boss had been nagging me to co. an album with you, and the first meeting with you two and TXT. So in four days exactly, Fearless will meet TXT after their MAMA performance. December fourth. Two days later on the sixth, you will meet up filming your on vlogs, BTS Bon Voyage, and Fearless the Adios, they meet each other and it becomes the plecare which is Romanian for departure.

You will first go to Japan and China, touring together, then go to Australia for special performances, going to Saudi Arabia, then south America. Now each of these places will have two performances, however, we will skip over North America and stay in Canida working on a co. album for two months leaving us May, we will have fifty performances in the U.S two in Hawaii and Alaska. It will be hard, but that is the point. Nobody has done it before. You will have two weeks between each performance throughout the time. Every moment of your life will be recorded on camera, in the bedrooms, live streams every week. Bangtan will get up close and personal with you so get used to each other,” He explained. He sighed and left the room, giving us a salute.

All of us froze. I sank to my knees. “I-I,” I stuttered. Mel rushed forward. “When was the last time you ate?” She asked. I shook my head. “Two hours ago, but it came back up,” I sighed. “I’m such a baby,” I cried. “How am I gonna do that?” I cried into her shoulder. She stood me up. “I’ll be here jagi,” (Sweetie, sweetheart, baby, babe) She cooed. Jimmie hugged me. “We’ll all help,” She smiled. I nodded. Jeehee latched onto our group hug. “We can do it,” She sang.

“We are invincible, unbreakable! Try and get on my level, I’m too good!” Mel rapped out our lyrics. “Don’t try and break my steel bones,” Sang Jeehee. “I’m better than them, I can burn brighter than you. You may look better but honey that ugly soul will never scare me! Scare me! Scare me!” I rap/sang. “Scare me! Yup. Fearless till the end! Bull-headed Baepsae!” (Try-hard, little bird) We sang together.

We swayed together. “We can do it, I believe in us,” Jimmie smiled. I smiled back. “I do too,” I smiled. “I believe in you,” Jungkook spoke up, looking at me with soft eyes. I beamed. Pulling my arms away from my group I held them out looking at BTS. I believe that we’re gonna throw everyone on their bums.” I smiled. They joined our hug. And for a long time, I was lost in Jungkook’s eyes. His warm brown orbs.

They glowed for me, his arm around my shoulders. I got lost, swimming in his eyes.

 

• Backstage of MAMA -

 

“Your three solo’s are up Cleo,” The director qued. My members ushered me out. It started off with Little Mix ‘Power’. “Oh, I’m a machine when I do it, catching fire when I do it.” I rapped.

“I make this look easy, tick Tick, boom, like gasoline-y

Yeah, they call me Lamborghini, 'cause I know just what I'm worth

Zero to hundred, b-b-body make' em stutter

Start my engine, push the button, 'cause I'm gon' becoming first,” I slammed. With my special dance and fire rap skills, I blew the audience away. I tossed my jacket to the backup dancers as they left in the dark.

Next was Love Shot, we decided to just leave the original audio and do the original Corio. “It’s the love shot,” I broke out in the dance. The little booties hurt but I kept going. The difficulty with the foot movements put me off, but I soon got used to it. I saw Kai with SuperM dancing in his seat. I smiled to myself.

Mel joined me for the next song, G-Dragon ‘COUP D'ETAT’. We had six backup dancers as we split the song, and used complex but slow dance moves. Her sparkly iridescent skirt and black and white themed outfit. Near the end, we stopped the music remixing into a more upbeat thickly into our own song “Tsugi” (Grillabeats).

Mel and our parts were backed by Jeehee and Jimmie singing. Jimmie led the choreography for a small bit before Mel stepped up swinging her hips using her feminine swag, it slowed for Jeehee to add some cute tones, deepening for Jimmie to take over with her deep voice.

I stepped in with the fastest rap of the whole song defeating the slow version. “Bang Bang boy, tell me I’m not your type. You’re not in any position to make that decision. Gotta be good, kitten so good it’s dripping on wood, yo! Bringit-Bringit.” I banged ing my hips forward quick and hot. I spun giving the crowd a flying kiss before in unison we dropped into a squat. The song’s bass ending.

The next song of ours began "Yanzhi" (Grillabeats). Then the next “Never” ("Yanzhi" Grillabeats) A remix began BTS Idol Fallen superhero remix began. The stage went black long enough for us to change quickly stripping into our outfits.

 

We did a hard dance that took months to complete. I was already tired but this was getting worse, my stomach grew impatient. My vision blurred. This was normal for me, the buzz, the headache, the pain, the weakness. This, this was excessive. Thankfully the song ended after what felt like forever, and we were centering on the stage. I was at the end of the line when I passed out. Black falling over me. My body collapsed in on itself, brain lifting off the ground and pounding into the sky.

Gasps erupted until I felt the rest of my members fake a fall as well. I couldn’t get up no matter how hard I tried, the black abyss took over me.