May

18^th Monday, 2019 – 10:00 A.M.

 

The familiar – albeit somewhat unexpected clink of the tiny bell at the entrance to her flower shop halted Nayeon’s Monday morning watering routine. She poked her head out from the back room to check if a miracle had indeed occurred and lo and behold, a customer. More accurately – a customer in her shop that’s been open for only three hours. She whispered a silent ‘wow’ in her head before heading out towards the counter.

“Good morning,” she greeted with a fresh smile.

The stunning woman greeted her back with a smile of her own, a thousand times brighter than the sun could ever hope to be. Although her smile almost seemed to betray her age, her clothes were mostly professional, wearing an office attire that looked more like runway material with a crisp beige vest over a simple black top that was tucked in under her fitted slacks that matched the colours of her vest and heels. Her black hair was slightly parted at the center and stopped just below her shoulders, framing her elegant face. As hard as it was to accept, her flowers never stood a chance.

“Is…everything okay?”

Nayeon snapped out of ogling. “Hm? Yeah! Yeah, sorry. Um, what can I do for you?”

She gave a quick laugh before answering. “I asked for your opinion on what bouquet to buy.”

“Oh…you did?” She cringed, her face threatening to shrivel up from her embarrassment.

“Yeah but no worries. Half the day, my mind’s wandering off too.”

“Hopefully not to where mine was at.”

“Oh? And where’s that?”

“I’d…rather not.” Nayeon shook her head. “So about this bouquet…”

“For my girlfriend.” The woman cast her eyes down before a warm smile spread across her face.

Nayeon gave a not-so-professional nod at this, pursing her lips to supress a silly grin. “And will this be for a special occasion, or just a casual gift?”

“You think a bouquet is casual?” The woman asked looking genuinely surprised.

“No! No I just meant that if it’s for something special then I can pick the proper flowers to convey a message or something.”

“And if it’s casual?”

“Well I…I mean I can still give a different message?” Nayeon replied, sounding every bit unsure.

At this, the woman gave a light chuckle, covering with a type of elegance Nayeon has only seen in movies. “I’m sorry, I was pushing too far. I get what you mean.”

Did this complete stranger really just ?

“It’s been all sorts of rough these past few weeks,” the woman said with a dampened smile. “Sorry I took it out on you.”

Nayeon was staring at her, dumbfounded ever since she started laughing. She scoffed out of it, easing a bit of her nerves. “It’s fine,” she said. “Although I’m gonna have to require you to actually buy one now.”

“Sounds fair. It’s actually our um…anniversary today.”

“Oh no ?” Nayeon blurted out, covering afterwards. Thankfully, the woman found it more amusing than rude. “I mean…yeah I can work with anniversaries.”

“Glad to know,” she replied.

Nayeon cleared . “So we actually have a bunch of premade bouquets that were made just yesterday if you’re in a hurry – right over he-”

“I can wait.” The woman cut her off before Nayeon could motion over to the display area.

“Then…I can arrange a more personalised one if you’d like. Just tell me if you have any specific flowers in mind to include. We have the 15,16,17 and 21-stem options to choose from and if you get the 21-stem option, I’ll include one more for free just cause you’re our first customer of the day.” She stretched out her most professional smile.

The woman simply nodded, an amused but restrained face plastered on her face. “The 21-stem seems nice.”

“Great! Any flowers you’d want to include?”

“Carnations,” she answered, her gaze drifting over to the flowers that littered the shop. “She likes Carnations.”

Nayeon watched her for a moment, the woman’s eyes suddenly filled with obvious adoration towards someone who wasn’t even there with them. It was a look she’d seen many times throughout her years working at the flower shop and was among the reasons why she chose to run it.

“I’ll be sure to make them the centerpiece.” Nayeon assured. “I’ll work on it now so you can pick it up before lunch.”

“I was actually hoping to watch the process if that’s okay,” said the woman.

Nayeon paused mid-way through the back door, and turned her head towards her, unsure if she heard right. “You…want to watch?”

“Is that okay?”

“Well yeah, I guess. You sure you don’t have anything better to do? It’s…I dunno, pretty boring to watch honestly.” She gave a nervous laugh.

“I don’t mind.” The woman threw another award-winning smile, kicking Nayeon’s argument out the street.

Truth be told, she really didn’t mind the company. Working a flower shop all by herself entailed some lonesome days when talking to inanimate products of nature couldn’t quite fill her quota for acceptable social interactions. She had no plans on becoming Snow White. Not anymore at least.

Nayeon shrugged and nodded over to the back room. “I’m Nayeon by the way.”

“Mina.” She replied, walking in.

 

10:30 A.M.

“So how long have you two known each other?” Nayeon asked while clipping a stem.

Mina took a sip of her tea before answering. “Three years.”

“Wow that’s actually pretty impressive. And you’ve bought her flowers every month since then?”

Mina nodded in reply. “She loves flowers. I was actually kind of worried that she’d turn our condo unit into some urban greenhouse. God knows what’ll grow there but with her taking care of it, I’m sure just about anything.”

Nayeon chuckled. “She sounds really kind. You know, not a lot of people have the patience in growing plants. Let alone flowering ones.”

“You must be very patient then.”

“Oh yeah. I mean I’ve been stuck here for the past five years so I’m practically oozing it out, see?” Nayeon pointed at a bead of sweat running down her forehead.

“I didn’t know you could equate sweat with patience.”

“Well you would if you ever hauled your through the Friday rush hour traffic.”

 Mina laughed. “I’m sure you’re a veteran already.”

“I’d pick taking care of flowers over any traffic just so you know. At least with these, I’m fairly good at. Or so my mom always told me.” Nayeon twirled a white tape around the stems to secure the selection.

“Oh is this a family business?”

“Yeah, but I’m the only looking after the store now. Mom passed away a few years ago.”

Mina glanced up at Nayeon for a moment before lowering her gaze onto her lap. “I’m…sorry to hear that.”

“Nah, that’s alright. I’m kinda over it.” Nayeon shrugged and wrapped the bouquet on a mesh paper. “I still leave her some flowers over by the cemetery from time to time.”

“What about your dad?”

“He left when I was a kid. Never really bothered to find out where he is right now. I have a younger sister attending college back in our hometown and she visits from time to time.” She paused, smiling as she wrapped a baby pink paper around the final layer of the bouquet. “Of course, I wouldn’t force her to take over the store if she doesn’t want to.”

“You haven’t considered hiring?” Mina set her teacup down.

“I have, but…honestly, the busiest days I get around here are during Valentine’s, Christmas and New Year. I can handle it just fine any other day.” She tied a ribbon with a darker shade of pink around the whole bouquet, adjusting everything before presenting it to Mina. “Ta-da!”

The whole assortment was composed of red roses, pink Chrysanthemums, a few stems of white Baby’s Breath that filled the outermost layer, and pink Carnations at the center making the whole piece bloom out.

Mina stared wordlessly at the whole package, her eyes wide in awe of the sheer beauty it gave off. “This is…just perfect. Holy hell, I don’t know what to say.”

Nayeon beamed at the girl. “Oh and I said I’d add one more stem, so you can choose whatever you like.”

Mina paused to think for a while before answering. “I think I’ll leave that to you.”

“You sure? You can pick anything from the shop you know.”

“Yeah. I want you to pick.” She gave her a warm smile, a bit too direct that Nayeon had to look away as if shielding herself from the sun.

“Tell me one thing about her then. I’ll try and see if I can find a flower for it.”

Mina gazed at the bouquet as if she was looking at her lover, her eyes soft and her lips upturned to a gentle smile. “She’s patient.”

Nayeon nodded and took out a single stem of Chamomile, placing it amongst the Carnations.

“It looks kinda off now but…I like to think bouquets should be personal. Like a message between two people and when words aren’t enough to say the things you want to say.”

“It looks even more perfect then,” said Mina.

The two made their way back to the front desk as Mina paid for the bouquet, dropping two rolled up ten-thousand-won bill tip in the jar at the counter.

“Okay CEO, that’s an alarmingly large tip hold on. Are you sure?”

“Just take it.” Mina insisted. “This is the prettiest bouquet I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot if you recall.”

Nayeon shook out another goofy smile that threatened to surface. “I wouldn’t wanna argue with a customer so…thank you. That means a lot.”

“And thank you. This means a lot.” Mina replied, holding up the bouquet. “Promise I’ll come back whenever I need another one.”

“Hopefully with a less scarier tip.”

“No promises.” She beamed, opening the red door as she strolled out the shop.

 

June
17, Wednesday – 1:00 P.M.

 

“You actually came back.” Nayeon laughed, reaching towards the top shelf for a few stems to use. “Exactly one month if I recall.”

“A day early actually. I’ll be busy tomorrow so I figured I’d buy one today.” Mina replied as she followed from behind.

She looked back and raised a brow. “You really plan on sticking with this huh?”

“Why, what’s wrong?”

“No, no, it’s nothing.” Nayeon shrugged, bunching up the selected flowers to take in the back room. “I just think people like you are rare these days.”

“People like me?” Mina stopped and leaned a bit on the open doorway.

“I mean, usually the people I know stop giving gifts on monthsaries after a year. Hell, most of them don’t even bother during their first few months,” she said, spraying a bit of water on the flowers. “You’re the only person I know so far who’s still giving gifts every month in a three-year old relationship. Not to mention you’re giving out bouquets.” She huffed a laugh and smiled to herself.

Mina kept quiet for a while, crossing an arm to touch her elbow. “Is that…weird?”

Nayeon shook her head. “I don’t think so. Honestly, it’s refreshing to know some people still do this. And I’d say your girlfriend’s pretty lucky to have you.”

Her brows shot up with the unexpected comment, a smile creeping up as she bowed her head to hide her face. She managed a quiet ‘thanks’ afterwards as she grabbed a chair to watch Nayeon work again.

“Do you want me to pick the extra flower like before or do you wanna give it a shot?” Nayeon asked.

“I thought that was only for the first cust-…” Mina paused and gave her a look that spelled out pitiful.

She replied with a dull look. “…No, Mina…you are not the first customer of the day so wipe that look off your face.”

“Then…why?”

She shrugged, turning her head back to the bouquet. “Let’s just say it’s cause you’re…a rarity?”

“’Rarity?’” Mina couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m not sure how to take that.”

“Just. Take. It.” She begged, handing over the package to Mina.

“Alright but I still want you to pick for me.”

“Fine, fine. So what would be the trait for the month?”

She paused to think, rubbing her chin as she stared at the flowers. “She’s…one of a kind.” A familiar smile broke out of her lips and Nayeon couldn’t help but return the favour to the woman’s display of blatant affection.

“It’ll be a bit weird adding this but I guess that’s the point,” she said, picking out a whole stem of orange orchid that had the faintest hue of purple, tucking it along with the other flowers at the center. She handed it back to Mina as they went back to the counter.

 

July

18, Saturday – 8:00 A.M.

 

“So what about you?” Mina asked, scooping up a spoonful of ice cream as she sat across Nayeon from the work table. “Any significant other?”

Nayeon coughed, almost spitting out her own strawberry-flavoured ice cream. “Oh god, no. Not since my last train-wreck at least.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Hold on, Miss Nosey let me wipe my mouth.” She snickered.

“Oh well you don’t have to tell me or anything though. I was just curious.

“It’s totally fine. She was an anyway.” Nayeon reclined on her chair, keeping her eyes down on her cup. “It wasn’t like she did anything big that ended everything. But I guess it was the small things that piled up throughout it all that did it for me. She was getting tired and I was getting tired of her getting tired; get it?”

Mina nodded quietly, setting her cup down onto the table.

“Anyway, she pretty much stopped caring at one point and stopped all efforts in trying to save the we had. Thinking about it now, I guess I was pretty naïve about it all, wanting to fix an already sunken ship or whatever.” She dug out the melted cream with her spoon, lost in thought and unaware that there was nothing else to scoop.

“No, I get that. I think it’s normal that you’d still want to save it even after spiralling down. Whether or not it’s the right thing to do, well…I’ll leave that to your own moral compass and masochistic tendencies.” They shared a laugh.

“Jokes aside, I’m glad you got out of there,” said Mina. “You deserve better.”

Nayeon scoffed, raising her brows at the comment. “You’ve known me for like literally three days, how do you even come up with that?”

“And you’ve already given me three gifts in those three days.”

“Not much of a gift if you bought them.”

Mina’s lips softened to a smile. “I meant these.” She touched the single white lotus flower at the center of the bouquet. “I really do appreciate these you know.”

Nayeon pursed her lips to supress a silly smile, looking the other way for a few seconds before pretending to fix the bouquet.

“I can pay for this now if they’re done.” Mina stood up and threw her cup away, cradling the bouquet in her arms.

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, okay.” She said, her voice a bit lower as she followed suit and slowly walked towards the cash register. Mina handed her the payment and hid another ten-thousand-won bill in her hand as she stealthily reached for the tip jar. Nayeon had seen it coming and blocked the slit on the cover, giving the woman a smirk.

“How much?”

“…A thousand.”

“Show me.”

Mina reached out to her wallet and unfurled a thousand-won bill, waving it in front of Nayeon. She nodded and slowly retracted her hand away from the jar. As the bill slid through, a ten-thousand-won bill revealed itself behind the smaller bill.

“…Really, Mina?”

Mina faked a gasp. “How’d that get in there?”

Nayeon rolled her eyes and huffed, taking a mental note of the trick in case it happens again. They said their goodbyes and as Mina opened the wooden door, Nayeon called out. “So I’ll be seeing you again next month…right?”

Mina turned her head and beamed before nodding. “The 18^th.”

 

August

18, Thursday – 12:00 P.M.

 

“Okay but hear me out.” Nayeon shifted in her bar stool as she chewed on her boxed lunch. “I don’t think it’s fair that I let you in here and ‘spy’ on me as I work my magic; letting you know everything about my techniques and all my trade secrets and all my and-”

Mina interrupted her with a cough, almost spitting out her lemonade as she tried not to laugh. “’Trade secrets’?”

“Yes, Mina. My well-kept secrets of the flower shop trade.” Nayeon said a matter-of-factly.

“I didn’t know you kept your fat jar of tips a secret, Nayeon.”

“What? That’s not a part of-…alright smartass, ha-ha that’s obviously not a part of it, okay? And don’t even start with that. The fact that you basically tip a day’s worth of profit is…” Nayeon trailed off as she stared into the black void of the soy sauce container.

Mina reached out to her hand and whispered. “Don’t mention it. Really. Just don’t.”

Nayeon, suddenly aware of Mina’s hand resting on top of hers, jumped back to reality and cleared as she gently pulled away to continue eating.

“A-anyway, that’s not what I was trying to say.” She swallowed. “I just think it’s kinda unfair that you know so much about what I do while I know absolutely nothing about you- I mean what you do. For a living. Work.”

“Well you never really asked before.” Mina paused to pat her lips with the tissue. “I’m in an entertainment agency.”

“Oh which one?”

“MSM Entertainment.”

“Wait…holy , no way! The biggest name out there? Really?” Nayeon bubbled.

“I wouldn’t say it’s the biggest out there but-”

“Don’t be so humble, for Christ’s sake it’s MSM. The top stars in the industry are all under it.”

Mina nodded quietly as she kept her lips tight.

“You’re not gonna tell me you’re an idol now, are you?” She leaned in to ask.

“No, no. Definitely not an idol. I’m more of a... talent scout?”

Nayeon slowly nodded, digesting the new information. She looked down on her half-empty lunch box, trying to remember what MSM stood for. “…What’d you say your last name was again?”

Mina reached out for her glass of water and gulped down a few before finally answering. “…Myoui.”

 

12:30 P.M.

“This is all really unnecessary.”

“No shush!” Nayeon turned the shop sign to ‘Closed’. “I cannot believe you didn’t tell me sooner! What if you were being followed around by those media predators or whoever those s are?!”

“They’re more interested in the idols so I’m well under their radar.” Mina assured, browsing around the shop. “And you know, it’ll be a lot more suspicious if you close your store while I’m here.”

Admittedly, she was right. Treating it as anything more than a regular transaction would be like putting out bait for those vultures.

It’s nothing special. Just a regular trip to my shop. Just a regular customer buying a bouquet for her girlfriend. This is all normal. She’s my friend after all. Yeah just a friend making monthly visits to her friend.

Nayeon repeated the lines in her head, saying it over and over like she’ll forget about it the next second.

Yeah. Just another friend.

She stared at the sign as she held it in between her fingers; the single line echoing inside her head. After a while she shook the thought off and flipped the sign back to ‘Open’, breathing a long sigh as she gathered her thoughts.

“Wouldn’t they get suspicious if you linger here for hours?” She asked Mina who was examining the bouquet, poking the bright pink Azalea flower at the center.

“Hm? Why would they?”

“I-I dunno. But aren’t you worried they’ll make up all sorts of stories about this?”

“Not really. I’ve fought them off a thousand times.” She glanced her way with a smirk and quickly returned her attention to the flowers. “But…if you’re not comfortable with the media outside your shop then I can always-”

“No! No it’s fine. I don’t care about all that but…” Nayeon slowly retreated to the back of the counter, trying to busy herself so she can drown the next line that threatened to come out.

“…But?” Mina turned her way, all her attention now directed at her.

A palpable silence floated for a few seconds before Nayeon broke out. “…What about your girlfriend?” she asked with her head down, staring at the cash register.

“What about her?”

“Aren’t you worried she might get the wrong idea why you’ve been staying here for hours? I mean just to buy a bouquet?”

The earlier silence seemed to grow as the sound of Nayeon’s shears cutting a random stem filled the room.

Mina cast her eyes down onto the floor, the barest hint of a smile tugging at her lips. “I…don’t think she’d mind,” she whispered and looked back up. “I told her you’re my friend after all.”

Nayeon simply nodded, still not meeting her eyes as she continued to cut the leaves into small pieces.

“But if it’s really bugging you, then I can...well I can just stay for a couple of minutes for the bouquet then I’ll be on my way.”

“Don’t.” Nayeon raised her head to look at Mina, her brows creased beyond worry as she imagined what it’d be like. “...I don’t mind.”

 

September

17, Saturday – 3:30 P.M.

 

“Crap…” Mina whispered to herself as she gazed up at the grey clouds that loomed over the entire block.

“Did you bring an umbrella?” Nayeon asked, handing over a basket of flowers to a customer.

“No, but I’m parked just outside so I’ll just hop it if it pours.” She propped herself up on the seating area of the large bay window that faced the sidewalk.

Nayeon thanked the old lady and walked over to Mina, taking a seat on the other end of the window as she let the silence settle in for a while. They both stared out the glass, a dimmed afternoon passing slowly over the parked cars and buildings that towered high above the dainty shop stuck in between.

“These showers are the worst.” Mina broke out in a hushed tone as she stared daggers at the washed out sky. “One minute everything’s bright and cheery then you blink and suddenly everything’s shaded two tones darker.”

“Like some people, huh?” Nayeon commented.

Mina gave a small smile, turning her head away from the window.

Nayeon breathed in deep. “Did…something happen?” She asked.

“Hm?”

“I don’t know. I mean I just thought about what you told me earlier. About you wanting to apologize to her tomorrow.”

“There’s a lot of things I need to apologize about.” She folded a leg and let her chin rest on her knee.

“Like…what?” Nayeon pushed, making Mina scoff aloud.

“You’re seriously asking me that?

“Oh.” Nayeon blinked out a few times, snapping out of her fantasy world where the two of them were a lot closer to each other. “Yeah no, that was…” She forced a nervous laugh and shook her head. “Sorry, sorry. Not my business.” She stood up as the first light drizzle of rain spattered the window.

“…Just feel like I’ve been selfish lately.” Mina blurted out, stopping Nayeon from walking away. “I know you probably won’t believe me but I’ve been extremely selfish to her these past few months and please don’t ask me why…” She breathed in a lung-full. “But yeah, I…the last time we met, she got mad cause I was too busy at work and I stood her up. She…left for a while to stay with her parents.”

“Hey that’s not your fault.” Nayeon turned around to face her.

“Don’t. Just…don’t.”

“No, for real! That’s not your fault. I mean yeah you stood her up and that’s pretty but it’s not like you could’ve prevented that! Especially if it’s related to work.”

Mina kept her gaze down and shook her head as the rain began to pour. “I could’ve.” She whispered to herself.

“Look, the point is, don’t beat yourself too much over it. Missing something like a dinner date because of your work is…harsh, but that still doesn’t mean you’re selfish. Apologize; yes. Although I don’t think you should turn it into a big deal.”

“Just stop…”

“And for Christ’s sake, she should understand your circumstances! I can’t believe she just left you for something like-”

“I said stop it!” She raised her voice, shooting straight up from her seat as she glared at Nayeon. “You have no idea what we’ve been through.”

“I…I didn’t mean to offend I was just saying-”

“That it’s her fault? That she doesn’t have the right to get mad at me?”

“No! I just think that she’s blowing this up and overreacting!”

Mina huffed out a sigh. “You’ve seen one side of the coin and you think it gives you the right to throw .”

“Mina I’m…I’m on your side. I’ll always be on your side. I may not know her that well but, I know you.” Nayeon gave a weak smile. “And I-”

“You really don’t,” Mina interrupted. She glanced over to the purple Hyacinth in middle of the bouquet, grabbing the whole package in one swift motion before exiting the shop as she trudged through the downpour and disappeared from view.

The white noise of the rain echoed inside the now empty shop as Nayeon remained frozen in front of the window, staring down at the empty seat. The sudden jingle of the bell snapped her out of it as she quickly turned her head towards the door.

“Oh, goodness, it’s raining cats and dogs out there.” An old lady greeted as she folded a floral umbrella.

She slumped, her eyes glued to the open door before the woman closed it behind her back making her swallow a lump that wasn’t even there. She tried to form a smile afterwards but paused as if she forgot how.

“It certainly is.”

Nayeon breathed in deep, taking in the ading scent of wet pavement mixed in with the shop’s artificial tulip scent freshener that she bought last Thursday. Mina mentioned it was her favorite.

“…-cuse me?”

“Hm?” She turned to the woman who was browsing along the aisle.

“I asked if these flower are real.”

“Oh. Yeah. Sorry, yes. They’re uh…they’re all organic.” She turned away for a moment, shutting her eyes as tight as she could.

It was only four o’clock and the shop was still open. She had a job to do and she’d do it the same way she always has for the past four years; just another customer – just another request. Nayeon strode towards the lady, her jaws aching as she constantly reminded herself to breathe.

 

 

---October---

 

---November---

 

December
 

18, Wednesday – 1:30 P.M.

 

“Hey, did you water these Poppies?”

“Yep. Did it this morning.” The girl replied as she stared blankly at the cash register.

Nayeon walked over to her and pressed a button, letting the machine print out the receipt.

“Oh, so that’s why it was taking so long.” The girl chuckled, handing it over to the customer who swiped it before her arm even stretched out.

“I thought I told you not to water them too much!” She scolded, keeping a low tone to avoid causing a scene in front of the other customers.

“I didn’t! The last time was…” She trailed off, her gaze slowly drifting away. “…Which ones are the poppies again?”

Nayeon groaned, looking away for a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose. “Did you at least finish the rose bouquets for tomorrow’s order?”

“Uh, yeah. I mean…I finished a few.”

“…How few?”

“…Two…-ish?”

“Oh for ’s-” She pursed her lips, stopping herself a little too late as she stomped away from the counter and into the back room.

The week before Christmas had always been busy. With office workers and business companies panic buying for their parties and with couples crawling out from their den to buy flowers for each other. She always had help when the season came. Last year, her sister went over for a few days. The year before that, it was her best friend from college who owed her some money for a doll she’d wanted to collect.

This year, she was stuck with her sister’s clueless friend; a fresh-grad from high school who spent more time fiddling with her phone than doing actual work which was completely fine and acceptable for Nayeon, given how many customers they had in a day. But having only two or three assigned tasks handed to you and still somehow failing them made her question hiring this kid. She’s sweet enough towards the customers but maybe getting a 101 in basic gardening should be a requirement next year.

Two miserable bouquets wrapped up in what looked to be tissue papers greeted her on the work table. She sat down and examined them, relieved to find out they were just regular paper. In the end, she had to disassemble one of them and the other was passable enough for her to spruce up a bit. She put on her garden gloves and moved the pile of roses closer before working on the remaining thirteen needed for tomorrow.

“Think you could squeeze one more order?”

Nayeon raised her head and turned towards the door seeing a familiar woman with her arms crossed leaning against the frame. She parted her lips to say something, only to let out a resigned sigh instead.

“All requests at the counter please.” She said, turning back to her work.

Mina’s thin smile dissipated as she slowly unfolded her arms. She watched her for a while, letting the clicking of the shears fill in the silence between them, Nayeon’s back turned against her all the while. She watched her hands move like before, a firm type of gentleness ingrained in each finger as she cradled the flower heads like they were made of glass, carefully t each leaf and each thorn along the stems. Her hair was shorter too. Not much shorter than what she had last August, but she could tell nonetheless.

“I’m sorry.” She broke out. “About what I said before…”

Nayeon took a moment to reply. “It’s fine. I obviously overstepped so it’s really my fault.” She said, not bothering to look at her.

Mina pursed her lips, lowering her gaze back down. She always thought apologies were meant to fix things. Or at least make people feel just a little less miserable when things go bad. It wasn’t working for her. Truth be told, she didn’t really care. She wanted it to work for Nayeon.

“Can we talk?” She asked, stepping into the room.

Nayeon quickly pointed to the “Staff Only” sign on the open door.

Mina scoffed. “So you won’t talk to me anymore?”

“We’re talking just fine from this distance.” Nayeon said dryly. “If you have any concerns then please approach the counter.”

“My concern is with you!” Mina cried. “Look, I’m sorry for losing my before and disappearing for months, alright? I…I feel bad about it too.” She paused, clenching her fists that wrinkled her top.

“But that’s why I’m here. I wanted to-”

“What?” Nayeon interrupted, finally turning to face her. “You wanted to what? Why’d you come here exactly? Why are you still bothering me? You want a bouquet? Go wait in line. You want to apologize? Fine. Apology accepted.” Nayeon gave a tight smile. “I’m sorry too. See? Done. Everyone’s happy now so we can all go back to being strangers again.”

“Wha- that’s not what I-”

“Then what?!” She shouted, her stool toppling over as she stood up. “You said I didn’t know who you were and maybe that’s for the best, right? What else could you possibly want from me?!”

“I just…wanted to talk to you again.” Mina whispered, her gaze avoiding Nayeon’s.

“…That’s not fair.” She sniffed, visibly deflating as she placed a hand over the table.

“You wanna talk so badly, but you come in here once a month. Christ, I don’t even know your number or how to contact you- I mean I want to talk.” She mumbled.

“I wanna talk to you too. And maybe I do want things to get better and maybe I’m fine with how things were and we’ll meet once a month to talk about while I keep pretending that I-…”

Mina raised her head to look at Nayeon, her eyes searching. “You…what?”

Nayeon gave out a weak laugh and steeled herself before facing Mina. “While I pretend that I don’t want anything more.” She said. “That I don’t want us to get any closer than we have to, okay? So just please...please just go.” She begged with a smile.

“I can recommend another shop that’s way better than this hole and they sell lots of tulips and, and they have membership cards and the place just looks so much better and cleaner so you don’t have to worry about your image and they…they…” She paused, clenching her jaws as she looked away to wipe a hand across her face. “Please don’t ask me to make you another bouquet. Please?”

Nayeon kept her gaze on Mina, waiting for an answer as Mina took in a deep breath.

“I don’t need another shop.”

“Didn’t you hear me? They’re much better in literally every possible way why would you settle for-”

“Because I like you,” Mina said, the corners of giving the faintest smile.

“…What?”

“I said I like you, Nayeon.” She repeated a bit more firmly this time. “And I want us to be closer. More than we have to at least.”

“I…I-I don’t understand, you-…you have a girlfriend, I don’t…I mean we can’t be…” Nayeon shook her head, her brows creasing as she tried to process the sudden confession.

Mina walked towards her, leaning herself against the table. “I was scared.” She began. “Scared that she might completely disappear if I got any closer to you.”

 

One year and seven months ago…

 

May
 

11, Friday, 2018 – 2:30 P.M.

 

“So we’re a go this Sunday, right?”

“Hm?”

“Vienna. Dinner this Sunday?”

“...I think so.”

“…Minari, are you still working?”

“Just typing a report. What’re you up to?” Mina held the tiger strap on her phone.

“Almost done repotting these Verbenas. There’s this cute little flower shop I found just a couple blocks away from my neighbourhood and-”

“Ya, Son Chaeyoung…” Mina stopped typing. “You brought another one there?”

“You know I can’t keep them in my house. This place’s my only sanctuary.”

She began massaging her forehead, the vivid image of their condo slowly transforming into a jungle dancing inside her head. “I live there too you know. And as much as I love seeing you get down and dirty, I’m not sure if I wanna experience the whole forest lifestyle yet.”

“Pfft. Tell me now that you don’t wanna see me in strips of rugged loincloths and I might reconsider.”

She pulled the phone away before bursting out to laugh. “Okay Tarzan, I’ll admit that’s a little hard to deny but I need my work space too.” She reasoned.

Chaeyoung made an effort to groan for as long as she could before finally saying, “Fine…once a month?”

“How bout we just set the limit to whatever you could fit in the small room beside the kitchen.”

“Fine. Mom.”

She replied with her best gorilla impression.

 “Yes, I promise not to wear any loincloths around the unit.”

“Hey at least not while I’m away.”

 

14^th , Monday – 8:00 A.M.

 

“Look, I’m sorry. Alright? But it’s not like I could just leave in the middle of that conference. Not with these sponsors.” Mina stood by Chaeyoung’s bedroom door as she watched her pack her overnight bag.

“Would you please just talk to me? You haven’t said a single word since last night.”

“You don’t have to explain, okay? I get it.” Chaeyoung replied as she zipped her bag up.

“Then where the hell are you going?”

“Home. For a couple of nights.”

Mina opened to protest but realized it was the only compromise Chaeyoung would ever accept. She’d always retreat back to her parent’s house whenever they fought. Then she’d come back to their unit three or four days after, depending on how bad she ed up.

“How long...”

Chaeyoung shrugged, lifting the straps of her bag around her shoulders. She made her way past Mina without a word but stopped as Mina grabbed her wrist.

“I’m sorry...” She whispered.

“I know.” Chaeyoung turned to give her half a smile. “I’ll get over it.”

Mina let go as she watched Chaeyoung disappear behind the unit door, her eyes never leaving it in fear that she might turn around and be met with an empty room.

 

18^th, Friday – 3:00 P.M.

 

“And where do you want these, Miss Myoui?”

“Over there by the couch please.” Mina directed the delivery men into the unit as they carried over large baskets of different coloured Carnations inside.

Unlike her girlfriend, Mina never really had a knack for flower arrangements or how to pick which flowers worked best for an occasion. She liked them enough to admire how pretty they look but never really had the time to learn anything more aside from Chaeyoung’s favorite flower.

She clutched her phone a little bit tighter before reading the messages again.

 

After five days of sleepless nights and self-pity sessions, Chaeyoung was finally coming home; and Mina was about to make sure her girlfriend knew just how sorry she was. It seemed about the only thing she could really do as of late and she was sick of it.

Baskets and baskets of Carnations flooded the entire living room until not a single square space of the carpeted floor was visible. She had no idea where to put them all after everything, but she didn’t really care. She’d fill the entire unit with it if only her practical mind would shut up for a minute. Pretty much anything to make her smile again.

 

8:30 P.M.

Mina watched the candles flicker in the dimmed room as the distant sounds of violin echoed throughout the empty unit. She kept her phone lit up in case a message comes through. It always did dismiss the notifications too quickly. She pulled it up again, lowering the brightness so her eyes won’t scream and began scrolling through the list of ringtones to pick the most annoying one. She set the volume up to a maximum and glanced at the time before setting it back down on the low table, just beside the lifeless bowl of mushroom soup and sparkling wine that simmered all the way down to the unimpressive shine that rivalled that of tap water.

It was still early. Sure they usually ate dinner an hour earlier, but sometimes they ate a bit late; specifically, when they order out and the delivery gets stuck in traffic. Maybe she’s stuck in traffic too. Mina held her phone up again, her thumb hovering over the ‘Dial’ button. She breathed in deep after a while and placed it back down, realizing it’s what Chaeyoung had to endure last week; alone in the restaurant until she arrived two hours later. Mina huddled underneath the blanket and folded her arms, slumping lower as the thought lingered.

Then her phone rang. It was Chaeyoung’s mother. She stared at the name and quickly wondered why she hesitated to pick it up.

 

8:50 P.M.

She couldn’t remember how she got there. Only that she made sure the candles were put out before she ran out the door. Everything else was a blur. The headlights; the buildings; the stoplights that counted down for what seemed an eternity; the rain that battered against her windshield as she drove straight to the hospital.

Chaeyoung was pronounced dead two minutes after she walked in.

The doctor said it was a car crash. The cab she was in tried to beat the stoplight and slid across the wet pavement, crashing hard into a moving van. The driver survived, but the brunt of the impact was on her side. The driver said she was in a hurry. That she was running late for an important dinner.

Mina stood outside the emergency room, inhaling the faint scent of sanitizing chemicals as she tried to catch her breath. Chaeyoung’s father held her mother as they wept, their cries echoing throughout the white corridor.

“Wait no. No I was…I was talking to her this morning we were chatting and she said she’d…she’d come home tonight and she was just going out for a bit and- are you sure it was her? I mean they could’ve-”

“The family has already confirmed.” The doctor replied as he apologized again before walking away.

stayed open as she stood in place, her gaze slowly drifting across the concrete walls. She stood there for as long as her legs could bear which was never really much. Mina slowly sat down on the bench and remained motionless as she stared hard onto the tiled floor. She noticed a fresh bruise on her knee. It was probably when she tripped on the baskets of flowers as she ran out the unit.

“Carnations,” she remembered. Then everything came crashing down as she had to cover to somehow stop herself from choking on a cry that burst out. Her breaths came shorter and shorter every time she tried to deny it in her head. She didn’t need to cry. It wasn’t real.

“They found these at the site.” A nurse came by holding a tray. Immediately, she saw Chaeyoung’s overnight backpack, torn and thrashed like a sick joke. He put the tray beside Mina and left. She slowly turned her head to look over it and saw her phone, the glass now fully broken with all her stubbornness in refusing to replace it before. The penguin strap was still dangling. For all her protests against displaying it out in the open, she never once took it off. Not since she gave it to her three years ago.

Then she saw a plastic pot, only half-torn with most of the soil still there. In it was a single yellow flower, a bit limp and worn down but still, it remained standing. She didn’t know what flower it was. She didn’t know why or how it survived the impact. She didn’t know why it gave off the faintest scent of strawberries. But she cried anyway. She cried when she got home; she cried until the sun came up like it was any other day; and she cried until she fell asleep, exhausted on the couch in front of last night’s dinner that remained untouched.

She didn’t even apologize to her properly. She never really did to begin with, now that she thought about it. Chaeyoung always seemed to have understood her whenever she did something bad and they’d talk it out for a bit and Chaeyoung would just take it all in uncomfortable silence or create a distance between them for a while. Mina wished she would’ve yelled at her more. She wished she’d have let Chaeyoung win. Maybe then she would’ve stayed that day. Maybe then she would’ve stayed.

 

21^st, Monday – 12:30 P.M

Oddly enough, she didn’t shed a single tear during the funeral. Not when her casket was being lowered and not even when she threw a single stem of Carnation from the twenty-one baskets she bought a few days ago. She felt tired; from crying; from talking; and from having to face the reality that she doesn’t have anyone to retreat to anymore.

She’s gone – Chaeyoung’s gone. This time, she’ll never come back.

The service went through till three in the grey afternoon as she sat someplace her mind had already forgotten. They called out to her, seemingly from miles and she’d then realize she’d been sitting on a bench two yards away from the small crowd. She gave an apologetic smile and trudged back, her shoulders heavy like they were lifting sandbags and she wondered if they’d fall off the next time she stood up. She wished they would. So that then her body would follow and just drop dead. Hopefully next to hers.

She wanted to be next to her again.

 

3:30 P.M

The crowd soon slowly dispersed as Chaeyoung’s parents remained as the dirt began to pile up on top of the casket. Mina watched with them until the last shovel and soon after, they began walking away. She walked along the rows of funeral bouquets that were propped up with wooden bamboo sticks, each one identical with the same color and type of flowers that were bundled up along with some large leaves that framed each piece. The colors were white along with some light somber blues that gave off whatever feeling funeral bouquets were supposed to invoke. The more she looked at them, the more morbid they seem to become.

“She would’ve hated these.” Mina thought as she continued to walk along the covered path.

Then she stopped. At the end of the white and blue row sat a small basket on a plain white pedestal. In the basket were assorted flowers of a different kind from all the rest. They bloomed in modest shades of pink, white and yellow amidst what little light the grey sky offered. Mina stared at it for a while, wondering who and what kind of person would offer such a vibrant and lively bouquet at a funeral.

“That’s from the flower shop in our neighbourhood.” Chaeyoung’s mother said as she walked by. “The lovely girl who works there sent it to us this morning,” she smiled, looking over at the flowers and continued, “Although I’ll admit, it looks a bit…different from the funeral flowers I’m used to seeing.”

She said goodbye, placing a heavy hand over Mina’s shoulder before continuing down the pathway. Mina stayed behind and examined the flowers, noticing a familiar kind she’d seen a few days ago at the hospital. A familiar tint of bright yellow petals that bloomed out, encircling a smaller crown at the center with a darker shade. They stood taller than the rest with their stems sprouting out from the center of the whole piece.

Mina stood there for a few more minutes, staring at the bright specks of yellow amidst the sea of whites and shaded blues that fluttered with a passing breeze. And for the first time in a long time, she smiled in the silence.

 

Present day…

December

18^th, Wednesday, 2019 – 4:30 P.M.

 

“They were Daffodils, right?” she asked, looking down on the metallic vase. “I looked it up as soon as I got home from the service.”

Nayeon stood quietly beside her, head down as she read the name engraved in golden letters.

Son, Chaeyoung
April 23, 1990
May 18, 2018

“I had no idea it was her…” she said. “But…why did you...when we first met, you…”

“It was her one-year death anniversary. I thought it’d be nice to get a different bouquet from the usual shop I buy from and visit the store where the bouquet from the funeral was made.”

“But why didn’t you tell me?” She looked over to Mina.

Mina kept silent for a moment, brushing off a dried leaf that laid on top of the marble tombstone before giving a shrug. “I guess, in my mind, I never really wanted to move on,” she laughed dryly. “It all happened so quickly, and everything else just became this one big blur that I had to go through every day since then. And the only thing I could see was her.” She paused, a bitter smile finding its way to her lips. “Her face, her laugh, her nose that crinkled whenever she gave that cheeky smile. I saw her every day. And then at some point, I started to wonder if I wanted that or not.”

She crossed her arms as the Winter chill blew across the cemetery. “At some point, I felt responsible for this.”

“No, hey. Stop it. You’re not, alright?” Nayeon immediately dismissed the thought.

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’d managed to force myself away from that train of thought,” she said, her voice sounding a bit too reassuring as Nayeon observed. She held her hand at that point, taking Mina by surprise for a bit before her hand eased up. “I’m sorry for not telling you,” she whispered, her voice soft as her hands trembled a little. “I just couldn’t…I couldn’t bring myself to forget about her like that.”

“Hey, hey! It’s okay!” Nayeon chuckled nervously, bring her other hand over Mina’s shoulder. “I was just asking. You don’t have to explain everything. You needed time to move on. I totally get-“

“I’m sorry…” Mina slowly lowered her head, her hands trembling as their fingers remained entwined.

“…It’s okay.” Nayeon took a step forward, slowly pulling Mina’s head against her shoulder.

“I could’ve been better…I should’ve been…I should’ve been…I’m sorry…”

“It’s alright, Mina.” She held her close and gentle and tight, her jet black hair that carried the scent of lavender and mint across the December afternoon. “You did more than enough,” she said, looking over to all the different flowers that had dried up and remained scattered around the base of the tombstone. Some drifted along with the gusts of frigid air, while others resisted – scattering, but never too far. What was left then was a single vase, always at the center and always at the top of her name written in gold. And throughout the one year and seven months since it was first placed, it had never been seen empty without a flower.

And it never will.

“Rebirth.” Nayeon whispered. “That’s what Daffodils mean. Rebirth. And new beginnings.”

 

Two years later…

 

“…Fertilizers?”

“Check.”

“…Watering?”

“Check.”

“…Repot?”

“Ch-…which one?”

“Camellias.”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to yet? Not until next week at least. The roots are still kinda short. I looked at them earlier.”

“…Check.”

Nayeon placed the small notebook on the counter, raising two thumbs up for her sister’s friend who worked the cash register. She gave a wide grin as she handed a flower basket to the customer.

“Any plans tonight?” She asked, tying a ribbon around a bouquet. “Bet you’re gonna celebrate with your girlfriend, huh.”

“Just a quick dinner at Doore.” Nayeon hummed as she fixed a bouquet of assorted tulips.

“’Just?’…you’re saying it like eating at a Michelin star restaurant is the most casual version of a dinner date you’ve ever had stop saying it like that before I quit.”

She laughed, thinking how often Mina took her there every other night. “I’ll try and grab some takeout then, hm? Sound good? A bowl of michelin pork rib soup enough for your employment?”

“...Add in some vegetable wraps and we’ll talk.”

“Don’t push it.” Nayeon whacked the girl’s arm with a stem.

“Okay but tell me you’re not gonna give her that bouquet…”

“Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing. Except that it came from your very own store.” She pointed out, a hand resting on her hip.

“And?”

She scoffed. “That’s like working at a spa and giving her coupons for it; or working at a restaurant and treating her there. C’mon! Does it have to be flowers? Really?”

“Hey, she likes flowers, okay? And your analogy isn’t a hundred percent accurate. Like what about a fashion designer giving some clothes she designed or a painter who gives her personalized artworks?”

“I’ll agree with some designer clothes but I’ll fight you on that painter. Just no.”

The familiar clink of the bell rang from the red wooden door that slowly closed, framing the immaculate image of Mina in her white business attire probably given by a well-known fashion designer.

Nayeon waved her hand high up like a kid and beamed as she called her over, meeting her half-way as she ran across the room, too excited to wait. She flung herself over to her and wrapped her arms around her neck as they embraced in the middle of the shop.

“Producer of the year is here!” Nayeon cheered as she planted a kiss on her lips.

Mina pulled her in closer and returned it, savouring the sweetness of her reward. “And florist of the year is present as well I see.”

“Right here! Thank you for noticing.” The girl shouted over from the counter.

They both shared a laugh and pulled apart for a bit. “Got you a gift by the way, but…I’m guessing this is pretty damn obvious by now.” Nayeon held up the bouquet of tulips and handed it to Mina. “Ehm…sorry if it’s a bit…I dunno...tacky.” She gave a nervous laugh.

Mina stared the assorted colours of tulips in red, pink yellow and purple, standing strong and almost as bright as the girl behind them.

“They’re perfect.” She said to her for the hundredth time in the hundreds of different ways it remained true – in a hushed voice that’s almost a whisper so that only her heart could hear.